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ORIGINAL: stef

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ORIGINAL: SirEpitome

IT seems that some people don't read profiles, they also don't read or don't read well.

I don't think anyone here has a problem reading you.

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ORIGINAL: SeekingTrinity

~FRing it~

That's a hell of a lot of time, energy, and effort to devote to ranting about people just because you are making observations, OP. Do you think these submissives you are complaining about will know to come here, see your wall of texty observations on how things should be, see the error of their ways, and start doing something different? Not likely

But if complaining about the sad state of some submissives is time well spent in your world, more power to you.

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if you don’t care for the dynamic, then don’t do anything with them.

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ORIGINAL: SirEpitome

I see so many postings from women who swear they are "submissive", that they want someone to take control and to set the rules...What I am noticing is that these women, the reality that they want is someone first to accept them, their body and their personality, and they want to determine the rules, and any decision that does not agree with what they want is summarily rejected. Any attempt to assert authority, respect, consideration is met with open resistance, surreptitious disobedience, passive-aggressive behavior, interest, commitment, and even attempted recruitment of "allies" from other online friends, from among friends and family (who, sadly enough, do not have the maturity to say "It's between you two.") Any response is generally either ignored, or meant to deride and insult any approach that is not one they have already predetermined as the one true way of doing anything.

I kind of agree with what you're saying here.

...If some outside event disrupted daily life, not only the disruption but the event, itself, is entirely the Dom/me's fault.

As relationships end, the Dom/me is the one who is at fault, if there was any sharing of responsibility, their portion consisted of them being “too kind” or “too tolerant” of the Dom/me and their innately wrong attitudes and methods.

I agree with this too.

...In terms of what you can “do” about a submissive like this, if you don’t care for the dynamic, then don’t do anything with them. If you have been open, respectful considerate, been clear in your direction, flexible in trying to meet their needs, and attempted to communicate the problem with them, all you can do is walk away. It also sounds like a lot of work for little reward and if you don’t want a constant fight (that you're likely always losing anyway) then don’t. I would have a serious “come to Jesus” with someone like that and if it didn’t change, I’d have to accept that they just aren’t a good fit for what I’m looking for.

I agree, but I would add that all this seems kind of obvious. I wonder what you think there is to discuss.

...Essentially, you want to make a contract with yourself. You want to get clear on what your new, more stringent set of hard limits are in relationships, based on these awful experiences you’ve had. You want to spell them out and stick by your commitment to not put up with it anymore. Period. If you can’t do that and this keeps happening, then I’d say you definitely have some sort of internal problem that’s making you step into relationships that essentially aren’t good for you. In that case, some therapy, spiritual work or some kind of healing process might help you figure out what that issue is and how to change it before you try to start a relationship again...

This last bit might have made a good discussion topic on it's own. I would encourage you to focus your thoughts better if you want to stimulate discussion.

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ORIGINAL: MissImmortalPain
*snorts, cackles, falls off her broom* What I am about to say is likely to come off very bitchy so I will start by saying that I do not believe the Op is a rant, a whine, or a moan about his bad luck(congrats on that Epitome because we see a lot of people do those things daily)

I agree.

I also, this might be the bitchy part, don't think the op was made in a desire to just help out the rest of us poor little losers that don't know how to figure out a relationship. What I, my opinion mind you, read the op as is (this is the bitchy part) a condescending advertisement. Catch keywords and listen the way you would to a guy running for congress. He admits he is sensual, kind, loving. He implies he is intelligent(not saying you aren't just pointing out what it seems to say) He has the answers to all of the most important questions anyone in the "lifestyle" would ever want to ask....so everyone should listen, shouldn't they. His last few lines even scream that he can be anything you (you being a random submissive female) need him to be. These all scream advertisement not helpful lecture. Well played "sir" I couldn't have done it better myself....well actually I could but I won't because general bdsm is not where advertisements go.

This too.

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ORIGINAL: JollyBoots
I just want to say I have a hard time taking any dom who puts "Sir" "Master" "lord" etc. in their user name. To me it just screams "HEY I LIKE PLAYING D&D! HEY! PAY ATTENTION TO ME, LORD MASTER DARKWOLF THE 875,000th.". That being said, I meant no offense to any and all persons that used to or currently play D&D. [:D]

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ORIGINAL: Darkfeather

*sigh* I once knew a woman in the lifestyle. She took to calling every male she met sir. She would in effect, submit to every male she came in contact to. I asked her, why she did that, take an arbitrary blanket submissive position to any and every dominant. She said she thought that was how every submissive was supposed to act, that it was their duty to "submit" to all of us, as a sign of respect. Well, after sitting the poor, overworked girl down, I told her, the only one she actually had to submit to, was the one she chose. The rest of us, she could show respect, sure. Or not, completely up to her. Submissive, dominant, slave, switch, these labels don't inherently earn you rights and privileges, grant you special powers... I can't knock on a red door somewhere in downtown Philly, and begin to order scantily clad women to perform depraved acts of debauchery just because I have my "Dom" card... sorry, my mind wandered. Anyway, my point is respect is earned, submission is as well

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ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

I suspect they don't respond submissively to you because they don't get the feeling you are dominant. Big difference between labeling yourself dominant and having that intrinsic nature and its capabilities. Perhaps you are a top? Nothing wrong with that.

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ORIGINAL: Musicmystery

Unfortunate that's been your experience. Perhaps try a change of approach.