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LordHeimdall -> RE: Thoughts about submissives who don't walk the walk and profiles (5/5/2014 12:25:04 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SirEpitome
I see so many postings from women who swear they are "submissive", that they want someone to take control and to set the rules.
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What I am noticing is that these women, the reality that they want is someone first to accept them, their body and their personality, and they want to determine the rules, and any decision that does not agree with what they want is summarily rejected. Any attempt to assert authority, respect, consideration is met with open resistance, surreptitious disobedience, passive-aggressive behavior, interest, commitment, and even attempted recruitment of "allies" from other online friends, from among friends and family (who, sadly enough, do not have the maturity to say "It's between you two.") Any response is generally either ignored, or meant to deride and insult any approach that is not one they have already predetermined as the one true way of doing anything.
Just because a Sub is submissive, doesn't mean before submitting themselves they do not have the right, as in a normal vanilla relationship, to determine if there is a compatibility between them and their chosen Dom/Master. To establish their Hard Limits of what will never be performed. To establish their Soft Limits of what should only be occasionally performed, if ever.
quote:
ORIGINAL: SirEpitome
How does one deal with such “submissives” who really just want a figurehead who manages to somehow always make the decisions that the “submissive” wants? If the only way to deal with them is to avoid them, how does one detect such an “anti-submissive” early in the relationship?”
Therein lies the observation and the question.
Are you sure you don't have someone trying to Top from the Bottom from how your question is worded? You can't have two tops.
Or is it that you haven't properly communicated the relationship parameters of limits?
quote:
ORIGINAL: SirEpitome
The second question is a really, reeeaally good one, and not so easy to answer these are dynamic relationships. Is there some reason you might have trouble spotting it?
I for one, am unclear as to your second question.
quote:
ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl
SirEpitome,
Just because you check the Dominant box on a website and choose to call yourself one, that does not mean every submissive in the world has to bow down and kow-tow to you. Unless she or he is your own submissive, s/he does not have to submit to you. I have always said in my correspondences that, unless a submissive is already in a consensual dynamic with me, s/he doesn't owe me shit other than the manners afforded toward any fellow human being.
And this is why I added a Signature line of Heimdall, Lord Only to One. I created my user name after reading through the board/forum for a few hours and seeing many Sirs, Masters, and Lady's. Afterwards I see lots of people getting on us Doms for using Sir, Master, and Lord but no one saying anything against the Mistress or the Lady's. Why is that?
I take no offense to people calling me simply Heimdall, for as it has been stated here, and in other threads, I am not that Submissive's Master, Sir, or Lord, nor would I expect a fellow Dom / Domme to acknowledge me as their Dom.
quote:
ORIGINAL: metamorfosis
quote:
ORIGINAL: JollyBoots
I just want to say I have a hard time taking any dom who puts "Sir" "Master" "lord" etc. in their user name. To me it just screams "HEY I LIKE PLAYING D&D! HEY! PAY ATTENTION TO ME, LORD MASTER DARKWOLF THE 875,000th.". That being said, I meant no offense to any and all persons that used to or currently play D&D. [:D]
I would tend to agree. Except for the bit about meaning no offense to D&D players. I don't mind saying those guys are dorks.
Very well Metomorfosis... Offense taken. Lick my boots.
Whether I liked to play D&D in my youth, or currently like to play online MMORPG has nothing to do with my Kink. True, perhaps it is due to my 'D&D,' 'MMORPG,' and 'SCA' mentality that I chose my user name in the first place. The name Heimdall has meaning to me as being the Norse God who created the first Masters (Jarls), and Subs (Thralls) as well as the first Peasant Class (Karls). Is this what you mean by being a 'Dork?' That I actually research my names? I am a man of diversity like many others.
As I said above, before I created my user name, I saw several Sirs, Masters, and Lady's, and at least one Mistress. I took this to mean that it was an acceptable practice. Then I created my own user name and further readings I started seeing people complaining about the Sirs and Masters, but none complaining about the Ladies or the Mistress...
I can accept not being called Lord by anyone on the Board, accept, should she ever post, the one to which I am Lord. I have told my Sub about these forums, but she is shy. I don't really even know if she is reading them consistently...
/edit added who offended me for clarification...
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