What comes first - the person or the slave?

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What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/10/2006 12:42:15 AM

ownedgirlie

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Joined: 2/5/2006
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I realized something this weekend. And I realize many will feel differently than I do. I even felt differently some time ago, and then for awhile I wasn’t sure how I felt. But this weekend sealed it for me.

I used to agree with the concept of, “I am a person first, before I am a slave.” But I have realized that is no longer the case for me. I am Master’s slave first and foremost. This means, above all worldly things, he comes first. Before my comfort, he comes first. Before what I think I might want for myself, he comes first. I used to think that I felt that way, but now I know. I am his slave before anything else. My essence is devoted to him, and that essence happens to be in human form. This means he can do anything to me or require anything from me, and I trust what he does implicitly. And since his decisions and judgments are generally spot-on accurate (far better than mine), I am absolutely confident and comfortable being in his hands.

So, in my case, I see myself as a slave first. My service to him comes first. I obey and serve, and he sees to my needs.

How do view yourself in this regard? Do you see yourself as a person first, or a slave/submissive first?

This thread is not intended to be a debate, as to what is better than the other, or more believable than the other. To each their own, and I know there will be different and valid views on both sides of the topic. I thought I would open the discussion though, as I am interested in how others feel about their own submission.

Post #: 1

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/10/2006 12:48:21 AM

truesub4u

Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
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Smiles.... Owned... you remind me of my earlier years before motherhood and other non submissivable things came about.

No.... I am one that does think differently than you ...now. I gave up my slavery for motherhood. Because once I became a mother... he no longer came first and foremost. So now I have my submission... and i'm happy with it. But I am a person... a female... a mother... (in others eyes...a bitch...lol).. before a sub and or slave.

Interesting post.. look forward to reading others post on this subject as well......

Jessica

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 2

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/10/2006 12:49:19 AM

litleone8620

Posts: 3669
Joined: 6/12/2006
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I see myself as both, equally. The person i am is a slave, the two aren't different to me.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 3

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/10/2006 12:51:49 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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Jessica,

You do make a good point. I guess I am able to retain my perspective because of my unattachment to anyone other than Master. I don't have kids, etc., so he is my focus. I can see where you are coming from...

(in reply to truesub4u)

Post #: 4

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/10/2006 1:11:52 AM

fullofgrace

Posts: 395
Joined: 3/24/2006
From: fl, usa
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if i had children, i would technically be a mother before i was a submissive. hopefully that would never be an issue, and that caring for my children would be an expression of my submission just as much as it would be an expression of my love for them as a mother, but i know that it doesn't always work out that well in relationships.

as far as being a person before a submissive, the two really are inseparable for me. it's who i am, not what i do. my submission to Him in particular is also inseparable from that.

_____________________________

i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 5

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/10/2006 3:22:33 AM

sharainks

Posts: 499
Joined: 12/13/2004
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A dom I know phrased it as well as I've seen it. He said "At times you just need to forget about this stuff and take care of your woman." There are times that a submissive or slave is not really able to function as such for some reason. At that time she may need cared for. Thats putting the person ahead of whatever position they have in the relationship. Its also an important part of what I look for.

If a dominant has to be served no matter how sick the slave is, or what emotional turmoil they might be under, that doesn't say much about them imo.

(in reply to fullofgrace)

Post #: 6

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/10/2006 4:19:59 AM

RavenMuse

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Joined: 1/23/2006
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I know many girls for whom that is a moot point, there is no person OR slave, just a person who IS a slave. Accepting her as a person is accepting the fact that she is a slave, she is simply wired that way. Hopefully she is a strong enough person not to fall apart if she doesn't have a collar around her neck. Strong enough to function normaly even if feeling a little lost and incompleat without a Master to care about and serve, but she IS a slave AND a person, neither comes first, it is simply who she is.

helen is such a person, she IS a slave, however and at odds with what I just said above, there is one thing that comes first above all that. She is a mother. That responcibility comes first. She knows and accepts this and also looked for a Master of a like mind. IF I ever found the situation getting to the point where her being mine was getting in the way of her being a Mum, if she didn't end it, *I* would. That responcibility of hers is as important to me as it is to her (I'm a parent myself). But because of who we are, the relationship, even the D/s nature of that, is, to date, a positive thing, support and advice is readily at hand for her.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 7

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/10/2006 4:32:33 AM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
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My profile says, Mother, woman, submissive

That means simply that I will not forget I am either a mother or a woman, because I am a submissive person. People must grow together, form a life that works for them together. It's learning to be all you are.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 8

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/10/2006 5:45:34 AM

PlayfulOne

Posts: 1047
Status: offline

From the otherside, I do not think of her as a person or slave, I only think of her as mine. That brings more than her service to me, it is my responsibility to see that her needs are cared for both physical and mental. Sometimes that means making her stop and take care of herself or making her really uncomfortable and taking care of her myself.

I may be her Master but I am also a Father first and in the end their needs come before anything.

K

< Message edited by PlayfulOne -- 7/10/2006 5:46:12 AM >

(in reply to feastie)

Post #: 9

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/10/2006 6:11:51 AM

subtill

Posts: 47
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Germany
Status: offline

What i'am it will be decided the Lady/Mistress who owned myself one day. in this moment i'm a sub,who has dark deep dreams,who started in my youth. since 2000 i got Internet and i started to get contact by Sm-scene. since this time my dreams had never end, i was allowed to make my first experiences as a slave under different Ladys.
(This follow sentences i tried to wrote with translation of bablefish,i don't realy know,if its correct translated: )
For me is it material conceivablly that I under a lady, for whom at least my heart should to strike to be allowed a daily the position domestic animal have will if so my position under female rule for the remainder of my life persist should to undertake am I ready this jump. If I am under it in lowest position, then I do not make a difference between my personality for me and evenly Her domestic animal.myself are then the nature under Her, which wishes itself Her and no more than evenly which Her to me permits. However that is a very long way, which is carried out, not is be able to immediately.Es is a durable process in to be under it, which determines however also only Her. For me TPE is a vanishing point of my in the future conceivable life perspective. If I went this way only once material, there is no more liberty for for me to leave anyhow not from me this path independently. If I go this way, I can go him also only with my whole personality I am then evenly what I may be then under it. For me the responsibility ignores in this process on you, I is due to balance of power unable responsibility still for mine its under it to be taken over. I can take responsibility only for the decision to go this way material. However is limited only to me alone, I the liberty of another will never limit or their borders to cross want, know, may do, because I cannot deliver this responsibility, also not under it. This responsibility for other humans remains for me also under their straight lines this responsibility for others distinguishes mine to be, so that I can never deny my human completely its. Even if I will be under it only your domestic animal, I know the human origin leave.in the sense never remain completely my human personality always, in addition, only evenly only as the material slaves under female rule. I am this originally own on the way understand it on the other hand automatically that only over personal its determines you, its dare only to your individual its-transform into subranges of your Seins. In the sense I am then no more I separate a part of their seins, thus in my eyes evenly your domestic animal.
So what i tried to say if i'am domestic by Her, my person will be tis to, i am domestic slave, not more,not less

(in reply to feastie)

Post #: 10

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/10/2006 6:29:12 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
...How do view yourself in this regard? Do you see yourself as a person first, or a slave/submissive first?...

this slave sees herself as a person that is a slave, serving in a variety of ways through the different relationships this slave has in her life...a slave who is a daughter, a slave who is a mother, a slave who is a friend, a slave who is an employee~this slave has "served" every relationship that she has ever been in--personally or professionally. depending on the time in this slave's life, others this slave were serving came first...when this slave had a job(paid or volunteer), the job came first...when the unmentionables were wee ones, they came first...when mom was widowed after 38 years, she came first...now that Master has accepted His slave, HE comes first.

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 7/10/2006 6:34:04 AM >

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 11

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/10/2006 6:34:06 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

I happen to agree with raven and beth. I am not a slave i am a submissive. I am a person who happens to be submissive it is a part of me. A part of who i am as a person i cannot seperate the two it is the way i was born.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 12

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/10/2006 6:38:29 AM

Caretakr

Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
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This depends entirely on the programmed internalization of self. And the mothers have reenforced one thing in my mind-you cannot truly own one who has no clear title.

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 13

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/10/2006 6:53:34 AM

shivvy

Posts: 746
Joined: 3/25/2006
From: Ireland, living in Kent, England.
Status: offline

hmmm. this is really hard to answer, but i'll keep it brief. i am a mum first. after that it becomes a bit hazy, coz i put Master before me, but living at home with my mum and dad still, kinda makes it hard sometimes... so i guess i would say i'm just a submissive person, and i defer as much as i can to my Master, but sometimes i just have to choose wot i think He would choose when i can't defer to Him.

i hope that answers you question.

luv,

shiv
xx

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¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•.εΐз¸¸.·*´¯`v´¯`*·.¸¸ـ εΐз ~*luv shivvy*~ ـ εΐз

xxx
Owned and collared by SavageFaerie and Master P

(in reply to Caretakr)

Post #: 14

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/10/2006 7:18:18 AM

ownedgirlie

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Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
...How do view yourself in this regard? Do you see yourself as a person first, or a slave/submissive first?...

this slave sees herself as a person that is a slave, serving in a variety of ways through the different relationships this slave has in her life...a slave who is a daughter, a slave who is a mother, a slave who is a friend, a slave who is an employee~this slave has "served" every relationship that she has ever been in--personally or professionally. depending on the time in this slave's life, others this slave were serving came first...when this slave had a job(paid or volunteer), the job came first...when the unmentionables were wee ones, they came first...when mom was widowed after 38 years, she came first...now that Master has accepted His slave, HE comes first.

Beth, I can truly understand this. A slave who happens to be....is what I personally relate to. I do have a job, but for me, Master does come first prior to that. If he had me leave my job, I would leave it. I have taken days off to serve him. Etc. While I am at work, however, it is my duty to Master to perform as well as I can on the job. He expects me to be successful at work. Since I don't have little ones, I can not relate to that aspect, although I do know of some slaves who put themselves in their Master's hands, knowing his rule of them incorporates what is best for their children. Again, I can not speak on such a thing as I don't know what it is to love a child as a mother does.

Thanks for all the replies so far. It is interesting to see the answers. It seems many see the two as hand in hand - one goes with the other. Does that mean your oversight is shared by both of you? I am interested in how you see that, if you don't mind delving further.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 15

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/10/2006 10:58:27 AM

HollyS

Posts: 230
Joined: 1/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

I know many girls for whom that is a moot point, there is no person OR slave, just a person who IS a slave. Accepting her as a person is accepting the fact that she is a slave, she is simply wired that way... she IS a slave AND a person, neither comes first, it is simply who she is.

Yes, exactly. I couldn't have said this better.

quote:

helen is such a person, she IS a slave, however and at odds with what I just said above, there is one thing that comes first above all that. She is a mother. That responcibility comes first. She knows and accepts this and also looked for a Master of a like mind. IF I ever found the situation getting to the point where her being mine was getting in the way of her being a Mum, if she didn't end it, *I* would. That responcibility of hers is as important to me as it is to her (I'm a parent myself). But because of who we are, the relationship, even the D/s nature of that, is, to date, a positive thing, support and advice is readily at hand for her.

In the face of so much negativity, anger, frustration and "what about me?" posts of late, this one warmed my heart. If one of the first rules for a Dominant is "I take responsibility for you, my sub/slave", the fact that you recognize her obligation to her small ones is one of the highest expressions of care for her possible. I know that between the two of you it may have been a no-brainer, an "of course" -- still, it's gratifying to hear it said out loud in the forum. Thank you for explaining how you two reconcile this part of your lives.

~Holly

_____________________________

I wish my lawn were emo, so it would cut itself.

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 16

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/10/2006 11:25:57 AM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

Well, I don't self ID as a slave, but I -do- identify as my Owner's girl.

This isn't entirely what you're asking, but this is how I see it. I'm -not- just a girl. I'm my Owner's girl. My identity is -always- qualified by my relationship to him. His needs don't necessarially come before mine, because some of my needs -have- to be given precident in order to allow me to continue to be his girl effectivly. That is, I -must- take care of my mental health first, otherwise I'll be too crazy to be anything to him. If I put his welfare in front of my mental health, it wouldn't be long before I -couldn't- take care of his welfare.

That aside, I am never just myself. I am never an independant individual. I am always who I am in relation to who he is. My identity isn't -defined- by my belonging to him, but it is integrally influenced. So slave first? I don't know. I don't think so, so much as who I am is inextricably linked to my relationship to him. I am who I am because I belong to him.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to HollyS)

Post #: 17

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/10/2006 12:00:10 PM

nephandi

Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline

i see myself as beeing who i am, i am simply anja, and anja have a need in her to be slave, and anja is a spiritual person, hell, anja like clamari and prefer the color purpule, i am not a bunch of parts on their own, i am a whole and that is just me.

(in reply to perverseangelic)

Post #: 18

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/10/2006 1:53:27 PM

twicehappy

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
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For me the person i am is a slave, it is so tied up with who i am i could not even begin to separate the two.

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 19

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/10/2006 2:50:46 PM

babysburnin

Posts: 421
Joined: 2/16/2006
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I have to agree with those who are MOMS. Having my child was my first intro into being a slave...And I was glad to be one. I think it opened me up to being non-selfish and giving to another. I won't be a "slave" to another, not like I am to my child, but I know now the joy submitting to someone else brings.

_____________________________

-Babysburnin

"Love is, above all else, the gift of oneself."
- Jean Anouilh

"The highest proof of virtue is to possess boundless power without abusing it."
- Lord Macaulay

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 20

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