RE: What comes first - the person or the slave?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: What comes first - the person or the slave?

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/10/2006 3:06:54 PM

sleazybutterfly

Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline

For me it just depends on the circumstance.

If I am with a Master, the sub/slave part of me is there first. By that I mean, that I put my Sirs needs and desires above my own and try to please him. I mean really, it's not much fun to be woke out a deep sleep at 2 am to give a bl*w....but if I know he would be pleased by my action, I will do it.

As long as the Dom I am with understands that I am more than property (car, house) but a real person with feelings, wants, and desires..and treats me as such... I will let him worry about the woman part of me..and I can just concentrate on being his.

Respectfully, Andrea

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 21

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/10/2006 3:44:15 PM

babysburnin

Posts: 421
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline

I actually love being awoken to play... there's something to be said about that "sleepy" state...when no worries are on one's mind.

I want to go to sleep... hehe.

_____________________________

-Babysburnin

"Love is, above all else, the gift of oneself."
- Jean Anouilh

"The highest proof of virtue is to possess boundless power without abusing it."
- Lord Macaulay

(in reply to sleazybutterfly)

Post #: 22

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/10/2006 3:58:08 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

That's how I've always imagined it, but some people have a way of telling themselves they're one thing first and another thing second.

quote:

ORIGINAL: litleone8620

The person i am is a slave, the two aren't different to me.

(in reply to litleone8620)

Post #: 23

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/10/2006 8:09:10 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

Thanks for your replies. I am enjoying the posts so far. I suppose I should clarify, that I personally do not see the two as separate beings, in that I said I am a slave who is in human form. Some have said "I am a person who is a slave." Same thing? My thoughts about myself are that he always comes first. I have seen some people say the opposite (not necessarily in this forum) and quite honestly thought there would be a bigger "mix" of responses and I would see some of that here. I completely understand the concept of the two being intertwined, and only chose to separate them for the purpose of this conversation.

Certainly not to begin the standard and tired debates of old, but could it be, for example, that those with stated limits are in some way putting themselves first? (Please please please, I do not intend to start up whether there should or should not be limits, as that is not what this thread is about). I'm just chewing on concepts here and processing my own opinions on that. I'm interested in thoughts on that. Are there any other feasible situations where a submissive or slave would put herself/himself first (assuming the limit idea is considered that)?

What do you think?

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 24

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/10/2006 8:31:12 PM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sleazybutterfly

For me it just depends on the circumstance.

If I am with a Master, the sub/slave part of me is there first. By that I mean, that I put my Sirs needs and desires above my own and try to please him. I mean really, it's not much fun to be woke out a deep sleep at 2 am to give a bl*w....but if I know he would be pleased by my action, I will do it.

As long as the Dom I am with understands that I am more than property (car, house) but a real person with feelings, wants, and desires..and treats me as such... I will let him worry about the woman part of me..and I can just concentrate on being his.

Respectfully, Andrea

My thoughts exactly. It's different when you are single or if you are in a relationship/ *S*

Thanks for saving me the trouble of retyping butterly hehe

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to sleazybutterfly)

Post #: 25

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/10/2006 8:35:47 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I realized something this weekend. And I realize many will feel differently than I do. I even felt differently some time ago, and then for awhile I wasn’t sure how I felt. But this weekend sealed it for me.

I used to agree with the concept of, “I am a person first, before I am a slave.” But I have realized that is no longer the case for me. I am Master’s slave first and foremost. This means, above all worldly things, he comes first. Before my comfort, he comes first. Before what I think I might want for myself, he comes first. I used to think that I felt that way, but now I know. I am his slave before anything else. My essence is devoted to him, and that essence happens to be in human form. This means he can do anything to me or require anything from me, and I trust what he does implicitly. And since his decisions and judgments are generally spot-on accurate (far better than mine), I am absolutely confident and comfortable being in his hands.

So, in my case, I see myself as a slave first. My service to him comes first. I obey and serve, and he sees to my needs.

How do view yourself in this regard? Do you see yourself as a person first, or a slave/submissive first?

This thread is not intended to be a debate, as to what is better than the other, or more believable than the other. To each their own, and I know there will be different and valid views on both sides of the topic. I thought I would open the discussion though, as I am interested in how others feel about their own submission.

..ok..I am not in a relationship but let me try to relate as best as I can..I think it is absolutley normal to start out at first in a relationship with wanting to be person first then slave simply because you wish to have your Master know you as a person first..but as the dynamic strengthens and grows and a certain amount of longevity in the relationship is developed then I can see your mindset going from the importance of being a person first to being his slave first and foremost..I feel it is a developing growing dynamic a sort of comfortable with each other and you who are together...be well...Tempting

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 26

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/10/2006 8:38:08 PM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

I was a person before I was a student. I was a person before I was an employee. I was a person before I was married. I was a person before I became a mother. I was a person before I was divorced. I was a person before I was a submissive. I'm still a person first because I was a person first.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 27

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/10/2006 8:52:52 PM

SCORPIOXXX

Posts: 223
Joined: 11/6/2004
Status: offline

I don't separate the two, all the more as I expect a girl to have a personality, which naturally implies being a person. Not to mention wits, brains, humor, etc. -- as opposed to a mindless blank slate.

Obedience, yes; but with purpose. Service, yes; but with desire. Selflessness, yes; but with willingness. Slavish submission, yes; but from passion...

BTW: kids always come first -- duh!

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 28

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/10/2006 8:59:13 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

..ok..I am not in a relationship but let me try to relate as best as I can..I think it is absolutley normal to start out at first in a relationship with wanting to be person first then slave simply because you wish to have your Master know you as a person first..but as the dynamic strengthens and grows and a certain amount of longevity in the relationship is developed then I can see your mindset going from the importance of being a person first to being his slave first and foremost..I feel it is a developing growing dynamic a sort of comfortable with each other and you who are together...be well...Tempting

Tempting that is what happened between Master and I. As the relationship grew, it evolved from me seeing me first, to the place it is now. I did not start out this way with him. I don't think I could have. Thanks for adding this insight.

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)

Post #: 29

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/10/2006 9:11:59 PM

LadyNeets

Posts: 188
Joined: 11/8/2005
Status: offline

sweet it's Just Me but I put the person first then the sub/slave presona but if the person/lilone is hurt then the 2 of them need to to attented too.. But that's just Me.

Lady Neets

_____________________________

I am not a bitch I am the Bitch and to you I am Mistress Bitch

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 30

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/10/2006 9:13:38 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

I really don't think I was a person before I was a dominant. Those two happened at the same time.

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

I was a person before I was a student. I was a person before I was an employee. I was a person before I was married. I was a person before I became a mother. I was a person before I was divorced. I was a person before I was a submissive. I'm still a person first because I was a person first.

(in reply to catize)

Post #: 31

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/10/2006 9:55:44 PM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

quote:

I really don't think I was a person before I was a dominant. Those two happened at the same time.

I'd be interested in an explanation of what that means if you would care to expand on it.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 32

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/10/2006 10:40:47 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

I believe I was born this way. It's part of who I am. I'm not a complete "person" without it. Separating being a person from being dominant just doesn't make any sense to me. Neither one comes first.

(in reply to catize)

Post #: 33

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/10/2006 11:03:41 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

How do view yourself in this regard? Do you see yourself as a person first, or a slave/submissive first?

I read this earlier, but wanted to give it some thought before answering. End result, it doesn't really matter how I view myself .. it's how Himself views me which counts. So I asked him what he sees when he looks at me.

Sometimes he looks at me and sees his wife, sometimes he sees a footstool, sometimes he sees a chef (especially when he's hungry!) and a dozen other labels ... but he always sees a slave. I am a person who happens to have a diverse label set attached but they all have the hyphen of slave after them. Wife-slave, footstool-slave, chef-slave, etc.

As Himself just said .. the most important thing that he sees when he looks at me, is the woman he loves. Kinda mushy, but hey.. it works. ;)

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 34

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/10/2006 11:20:29 PM

babysburnin

Posts: 421
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline

OMG - you have a soft under-belly afterall! LOL! Maybe someday I will be able to appreciate the "slave" term...

_____________________________

-Babysburnin

"Love is, above all else, the gift of oneself."
- Jean Anouilh

"The highest proof of virtue is to possess boundless power without abusing it."
- Lord Macaulay

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 35

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/10/2006 11:42:28 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I haven't attempted a live-in relationship with anyone in the lifestyle yet. I am a mother of a 16 year old. I think of him as a young man now, and I feel as though he needs to learn not to rely on mom so much anymore for his own sake and to become his own person.

If my son was younger I might feel differently I suppose, but this is where I am in my life, and where I am is a good place.. I do not think it becomes a contest of who is more important.. my Dom or my son. It isn't measured that way in my mind if I have blended my life with another person. We carry each other's burdens in differing ways. I would not live with a Dominant that made me "chose" be who was first. That to me would be a mark of someone that would be too selfish for me to want to submit to. I would expect that he would not demand of me that which I could not give. I do not think a Dom that is involved with me should ask more than I am capable of giving.. and making me make a choice between him and my son in subtle or not so subtle ways would make me lose respect for him.

Mind you, I have certain feelings about child rearing that you are responsible to your kids, but your kids are also responsible to you in many ways as they approach and reach adulthood. There are many things I will not tolerate if push comes to shove for my child once he became an adult. I would not be doing anyone a favor, most especially my son, if I allowed him to engage in behaviors that were destructive of the family unit that I have made. I believe in some tough love. I believe that we should help our kids as long as they help themselves..

I would not live with someone that had a problem with my views on child rearing. I would not live with a Dom that didn't accept my desire to help my son through college if possible.

My son will be gone in a few years. If I find someone I want to build a life with, well he will be around a lot longer... I cannot see putting one above the other.. I haven't raised my son to think he should always come first, he is an only child so he kinda has, but I tried to raise him to know there were others in this world besides him, and one of those people is me. His wants, needs and desires are equal to my own, but they do not trump them. I think people raise kids to be selfish sometimes by giving them the idea that they come first and that is the way the world works, but that isn't so. They should never come last, but their desires shouldn't trump their mother's at every turn. That is just an opinion from someone doing single motherhood since my son was 8 months old, and a few insights I am making now he is a teenager (I didn't always have this view when he was younger, the sun revolved around him...smiles)

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to babysburnin)

Post #: 36

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/11/2006 1:52:43 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I realized something this weekend. And I realize many will feel differently than I do. I even felt differently some time ago, and then for awhile I wasn’t sure how I felt. But this weekend sealed it for me.

I used to agree with the concept of, “I am a person first, before I am a slave.” But I have realized that is no longer the case for me. I am Master’s slave first and foremost. This means, above all worldly things, he comes first. Before my comfort, he comes first. Before what I think I might want for myself, he comes first. I used to think that I felt that way, but now I know. I am his slave before anything else. My essence is devoted to him, and that essence happens to be in human form. This means he can do anything to me or require anything from me, and I trust what he does implicitly. And since his decisions and judgments are generally spot-on accurate (far better than mine), I am absolutely confident and comfortable being in his hands.

So, in my case, I see myself as a slave first. My service to him comes first. I obey and serve, and he sees to my needs.

How do view yourself in this regard? Do you see yourself as a person first, or a slave/submissive first?

This thread is not intended to be a debate, as to what is better than the other, or more believable than the other. To each their own, and I know there will be different and valid views on both sides of the topic. I thought I would open the discussion though, as I am interested in how others feel about their own submission.

The reality as I know it, is that, it doesn't matter what label I have, or what others see me as or how or what I see myself. It is how he sees me that matters.

I am .dark. And He desires that is how I remain. I am submissive, I have children and am a mother. I am a friend to many, and to a few - a nemisis. I am a daughter. I am a woman. I am sadistic. I am a human being. When He desires it, I am slave, when He demands it, I am masochist. None come above the other, none mean any less - for they all make the person that I am.

His.

Peace and Rapture

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 37

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/11/2006 3:55:44 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

Hello ownedgirlie,

I view myself as a person. I view my Master as a person too. I entered into a slave relationship as a person, and he accepted control of me as a person. I BECAME his slave once that was the case, but I'm still just a person, basically.

Regards, agirl

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 38

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/11/2006 5:13:30 AM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

Thanks for explaining and I can see where that might be for you and some others.
In my life, I am/have been dominant when the need arises but prefer submission within a relationship. I don't view myself as completely one or the other.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 39

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? - 7/11/2006 6:12:00 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster
I believe I was born this way. It's part of who I am. I'm not a complete "person" without it. Separating being a person from being dominant just doesn't make any sense to me. Neither one comes first.

Yep, same here, I'm not a person first, I'm not a Dominant first, I am simply a Dominant person. When I was introduced to the concepts of D/s and collared my first girl it wasn't me becoming a Master, it was me learning how to stop pretending that I was something I'm not. Realising I didn't have to conform to the vanilla way of things for which I wasn't suited, I could simply be ME! (Of course it was the start of me learning to refine the skills a Master needs, but that is a seperate issue, one of realising what you are and striving to be the best you possible)

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 40

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: What comes first - the person or the slave?

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094