AthenaSurrenders
Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ThePrincessKali I have a question for those listed as submissive. I get dozens of messages with literal lists of things the submissive expects me to do. No mention of what might please me. But then a few sentences about how I'm the superior one, they are so unworthy, blah, blah. Personally I wouldn't really consider this submissive behavior. I know I do indulge in financial domination so I'm sure I'm more susceptible to this than Domme's who are exclusively lifestyle. But even in those cases when I mention that I'm a Fin Domme they have no desire to pay. Just the expectation I will take time out of my life to do something that most likely won't interest me at all for the sole purpose of pleasing a stranger. I don't really consider that to be submissive, in fact I find it a bit ironic as that seems more dominate behavior. Maybe it would help to have an option as a "bottom" rather than a submissive so it would be easier to differentiate. So my question is for those who identify as submissive, males in particular, do you just seek out a woman who will just do whatever gets you off or do some of you seek to serve and make your Domme happy? And if you do prefer someone who will just carry out your laundry list of fetishes with no reciprocation on your part, why list yourself as submissive? That seems like a very one sided relationship or arrangement to me. You are thinking too rationally. The type of people who send laundry lists of sexual requests are generally so contaminated by porn and fantasy that they really do think that list WILL make you happy. They have spent so many hours watching femdom porn and inventing their own masturbatory script, they have long forgotten that dominant women are still regular humans with their own tastes and personalities. They see you as a power and sex crazed ice queen who spends every moment scheming cruel ways to sexually torture submissives. They don't offer ways to serve you, because in fantasy land, offering up their penis and butthole IS making a dominant woman happy. Naturally you will just be thrilled to have the opportunity to act out his favourite porno scene, because you're a domme. That's how it is in porn. All femdoms are incredibly aroused by *insert his favourite fetish here* and all subs are relatively anonymous, interchangable bodies, so all he has to do is send you his checklist and voila! The 'I am so unworthy' speech is just part of the game. Yes I suspect you probably do get more of this because you're a femdom, so at least some people will see this as ordering off a menu. Des makes a good point that 'bottom' isn't an option (though I suspect a lot would still tick 'submissive' either because they think that's more desirable or because it's not as widely known as a term). Des - I agree it's healthy and reasonable for a sub to have his own tastes and needs, but I've had lots of messages like Kali describes and they don't come across as a guy negotiating mutual enjoyment or being up front about their preferences. There is a huge difference between 'I'm looking for a relationship/play session and X, Y and Z are important aspects to me, does that match up with your kinks?' and 'hi mistress i want you to do A, B, and C, call me D, then do E,F,G and I am so great at oral I will do it all night'. The latter appears to be written dick in hand and has a different tone entirely, I think.
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Being your slave, what should I do but tend Upon the hours and times of your desire?
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