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Dating a Domme - 6/26/2014 9:59:35 AM   
urneeds


Posts: 6
Joined: 6/25/2014
Status: offline 		I was hoping for some ideas to consider as far as taking a Domme out and pleasing her. I realize women have different needs, desires, etc. I also realize dommes often like to make the decisions. However, it seems like it would it be good to be able to invite a domme on a date that seemed exciting. Also, opinions on date behavior would be appreciated.
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RE: Dating a Domme - 6/26/2014 10:04:43 AM   
GoddessManko


Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline 		LOL, we're not Martians. The BEST thing you can do is ASK HER and that you be satisfied with whatever her decision may be. Chances are the best scenario is a coffee shop to chat or dinner for a more romantic setting. Somewhere public yet quiet where you have a bit of privacy to allow the conversation to go in a direction where you can figure out if you are suited for each other. I usually know after the first meeting whether or not I like someone. The worst mistake an s can make is to think all D's are similar. We are all very different people so our hobbies, likes, dislikes are all over the spectrum.
At the end of the day we are individuals so expecting a D to be like a previous D, pro or not is the worst mistake a sub can make. Never presume, always begin with a blank slate.

_____________________________

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The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

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RE: Dating a Domme - 6/26/2014 10:09:18 AM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: urneeds

I was hoping for some ideas to consider as far as taking a Domme out and pleasing her. I realize women have different needs, desires, etc.

A domme isn't any different from any other women.

quote:

ORIGINAL: urneeds
I also realize dommes often like to make the decisions.
Ummm... Isn't that why they are a "Domme"???

quote:

ORIGINAL: urneeds
However, it seems like it would it be good to be able to invite a domme on a date that seemed exciting. Also, opinions on date behavior would be appreciated.

It's very simple: Unless it's a business transaction, treat them as women first, fetish second - just like you would on any vanilla date.
Ain't rocket science

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RE: Dating a Domme - 6/26/2014 10:11:47 AM   
MasterCaneman


Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline 		Speaking as someone who has dated a Domme before, here's some simple advice: take the woman out for a date, not her title. Treat is as you would any other date, be a gentleman, and unless she wishes to, leave the kink out of it. The reason I was able to take her out was that we both worked in the 'scene' (me at the club, she as a 'contractor' of sorts there), and it was nice to go out and be 'normal' for a change. What Goddess Manko said rings true, find out what she likes in the real world and shape the event around those expectations. And don't ever, ever forget that she's a person, not a title. Good luck.

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RE: Dating a Domme - 6/26/2014 10:16:55 AM   
MistressEsmeUK


Posts: 42
Joined: 8/18/2010
Status: offline 		I agree with others. We are women also so I don't see what the real difference is when it come's to a date.

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RE: Dating a Domme - 6/26/2014 11:05:07 AM   
KYsissy


Posts: 781
Joined: 5/12/2005
Status: offline 		Take her skydiving. All Dommes are adreneline junkies.
I read that on the internet somwhere.

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RE: Dating a Domme - 6/26/2014 12:42:50 PM   
urneeds


Posts: 6
Joined: 6/25/2014
Status: offline 		Thanks to everyone that took the time to reply.

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RE: Dating a Domme - 6/26/2014 2:10:13 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Flowers. And a smile, and conversation.

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"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Dating a Domme - 6/26/2014 3:48:50 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		I think it probably helps to ratchet up the 'gentlemanly' thing a bit with femdoms. Not too much - just a bit. Manners front and centre; but personality also at the fore. If you can do some humour to lighten things, do it. Listening skills also to be brushed up. They will want to know that you are keen to understand what makes them tick. Ask them stuff and think of what they say in response.

The main thing is still to make that all-important *human connection*, femdom or vanilla woman, regardless. In my opinion.

ETA: And don't cudgel yourself if you feel awkward and shy. It's *not* always easy. Malesubs will see a hint of the 'goddess' in females to whom they have an attraction. That's bound to make them feel at least a little uncomfortable in the presence of them. It doesn't matter. It looks charming, so I've heard.

< Message edited by PeonForHer -- 6/26/2014 3:53:56 PM >

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RE: Dating a Domme - 6/26/2014 3:54:37 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		The first time I took my ex out, I treated her like any other women I had ever dated for the first time. We went out to dinner and then went to a local bar and played darts. According to your profile you are 50 years old so I have to assume you have dated before. Do the same things you did then and have a good time.

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RE: Dating a Domme - 6/26/2014 3:56:46 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

I think it probably helps to ratchet up the 'gentlemanly' thing a bit with femdoms. Not too much - just a bit. Manners front and centre; but personality also at the fore. If you can do some humour to lighten things, do it. Listening skills also to be brushed up. They will want to know that you are keen to understand what makes them tick. Ask them stuff and think of what they say in response.

The main thing is still to make that all-important *human connection*, femdom or vanilla woman, regardless. In my opinion.

ETA: And don't cudgel yourself if you feel awkward and shy. It's *not* always easy. Malesubs will see a hint of the 'goddess' in females to whom they have an attraction. That's bound to make them feel at least a little uncomfortable in the presence of them. It doesn't matter. It looks charming, so I've heard.



Good post Peon. You should write a book someday.

edited to add audio of course

< Message edited by thishereboi -- 6/26/2014 3:57:15 PM >

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RE: Dating a Domme - 6/26/2014 4:03:01 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Thanks, THB. Actually, I *am* writing a book. It's about a serial killer who goes on the rampage in Bristol with a machine gun and shoots tons of women because he realises how much God is disappointed in their lack of morality and feminine virtue.

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RE: Dating a Domme - 6/26/2014 4:10:27 PM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline
I'm a dominant and I tend to take into account what a lady might like to do or where she might like to go.

Notice I said: " ... take into account ... " I strongly urge you not to go outside your comfort zone or even dance near any limits you might have, just to try to impress her.

Also remember that most first dates turn out to be Mongolian cluster-fucks. You don't want to spend a ton of scratch. I like a mid-afternoon coffee date on a day when both are off from work. That way, you're not "obligated" to more than 30 minutes or so but, if things go well, and you've been talking for a while, you can offer an early dinner.

At the end of the day, they're all just ladies. Start from there.







Screen captures still RULE! Ya feel me?

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Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

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RE: Dating a Domme - 6/26/2014 6:14:29 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Thanks, THB. Actually, I *am* writing a book. It's about a serial killer who goes on the rampage in Bristol with a machine gun and shoots tons of women because he realises how much God is disappointed in their lack of morality and feminine virtue.


SLUTS!

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RE: Dating a Domme - 6/27/2014 1:03:26 AM   
SweetlySadistic1


Posts: 74
Joined: 5/25/2014
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		Treat her like you would any woman on a first date. Date the woman & not the Domme, she's a woman first so treat her as such. I remember a man & I meeting for the first time at a picnic date in the park. I brought the picnic basket of goodies, and he brought a nice(not expensive) bottle of wine and some pretty roses. The roses are what did it for me. They were sweet, romantic and touched my heart.

SweetlySadistic1

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Formerly NiceButMeanGirl.

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RE: Dating a Domme - 7/3/2014 8:33:19 PM   
Chrisp7135


Posts: 23
Joined: 2/10/2012
Status: offline 		On first dates, I try to find something we both will enjoy. That way, even if we don't connect the evening is still a pleasant one.

Ask her: does she like dining out? Going to a museum? Art? etc.

A play or movie isn't great, only in the sense that you don't get to chat much as it unfolds. Makes for a great 3rd date though.

I have met very few women who didn't appreciate manners and politeness.

Avoid saying things that make you sound like a serial killer("Wow. Your skin looks so....comfortable").

Don't drink too much alcohol.

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Dating a Domme - 7/4/2014 8:03:41 PM   
Rheea


Posts: 7
Joined: 7/3/2014
Status: offline 		You know.... most dommes are just like vanilla women, when it comes to dating and getting to know each other outside of kink. Your best bet is to ask her what she likes. She won't rip your head off or think you're stupid, unless she's already told you 3x and you still have to ask.

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RE: Dating a Domme - 7/4/2014 8:58:14 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Do you know what he did? He took Me on a real date....

If you want to win a woman's heart, do something that no one else does.


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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Dating a Domme - 7/4/2014 9:03:35 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline 		What the fuck ever happened to good old fashioned courtship?

Maybe I don't get it, but if you are going to take a woman on a date, even if she is Queen Princess Duchess of Uber Royalty, take her on a damn date. Dominant or not, if you can't have a good fucking time over and above the BDSM dynamic, why bother?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

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RE: Dating a Domme - 7/7/2014 10:29:33 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		~ FR ~
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

What the fuck ever happened to good old fashioned courtship?

Maybe I don't get it, but if you are going to take a woman on a date, even if she is Queen Princess Duchess of Uber Royalty, take her on a damn date. Dominant or not, if you can't have a good fucking time over and above the BDSM dynamic, why bother?

I'm so glad to hear a man take a stand on this. Most of the time, you just get the equivalent of a deer-caught-in-headlights stare. Clueless.

Or else the ones who *get it* turn out to be players. Cheating married players.

And whatever you do, guys, don't ever ask a woman to "hang out" with you. That is so freaking juvenile.
(You might as well be wearing your baggy pants down to your knees, with your baseball cap in reverse.)

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

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