How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently and discreetly. :)

How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently and discreetly. :) (Full Version)

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mutwo -> How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently and discreetly. :) (7/14/2014 3:28:01 PM)
I'm just wondering does anyone have any opinions on this. If not it's ok. :)

mutwo -> RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently and discreetly. :) (7/14/2014 3:30:55 PM)
:)

InHisHeart -> RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently and discreetly. :) (7/14/2014 3:42:12 PM)
When you talked to her about it, how did she feel about it and what did she say?

mutwo -> RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently and discreetly. :) (7/14/2014 3:52:47 PM)
I haven't discussed anything as of yet. Mostly because I would be afraid of a negative reaction to it. We have had a long relationship and these thoughts have only recently crept into my head.

InHisHeart -> RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently and discreetly. :) (7/14/2014 4:40:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mutwo I haven't discussed anything as of yet. Mostly because I would be afraid of a negative reaction to it. We have had a long relationship and these thoughts have only recently crept into my head. Does she normally give you a negative reaction to different/new things you want to do sexually? Has she ever played with your ass with fingers, toys, rimming? If not, that's probably a better place to start than going right into pegging. If she does play with your ass, I don't see why there would be an issue with bringing up pegging to her. Does she enjoy ass play and ass sex done to her? If so, let her know that you might enjoy the same sensation done to you.

subrosaDom -> RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently and discreetly. :) (7/14/2014 4:50:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: InHisHeart quote: ORIGINAL: mutwo I haven't discussed anything as of yet. Mostly because I would be afraid of a negative reaction to it. We have had a long relationship and these thoughts have only recently crept into my head. Does she normally give you a negative reaction to different/new things you want to do sexually? Has she ever played with your ass with fingers, toys, rimming? If not, that's probably a better place to start than going right into pegging. If she does play with your ass, I don't see why there would be an issue with bringing up pegging to her. Does she enjoy ass play and ass sex done to her? If so, let her know that you might enjoy the same sensation done to you. I understand where you are coming from -- if you get a negative reaction, you will never be able to remove from her the memory "he's into pegging." You can talk all you want about trust, etc., but you can't take away the memory. So how do you get around that? I would suggest a game. Come up with about 10-15 different things. You could have read an article about these or just thought about them. And you just want to find out what she thinks of them, not saying you are into them. Similarly, she gets to do the same. Of course, one of yours is pegging. The others are basically plants. Do this while relaxed, talking about expanding boundaries, etc. The idea is that perhaps the two of you will have a few that are the same. Now, if she has this awful, horrible reaction to pegging, at least you know where she stands and yet you've revealed nothing if you have a good poker face. Obviously, pegging shouldn't be first or last, nor should it be the most extreme. You want an honest answer. On the other hand, maybe it's her fantasy. She goes first with yours, you go first with hers. This allows you to "shape" your response without committing hari-kari. If she's negative, you can just say "curious, not sure if I'd like it." If she's positive, well, step right up.

mutwo -> RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently and discreetly. :) (7/14/2014 6:22:06 PM)
She does enjoy some light ass play but has not performed any ass play with me.

mutwo -> RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently and discreetly. :) (7/14/2014 6:25:20 PM)
Hhmm ya the whole idea of randomly bringing up them ideas would be quite, actually no extremely random on my behalf. haha

mutwo -> RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently and discreetly. :) (7/14/2014 6:27:42 PM)
I think it would be just to random having a rating game with kinks in normal conversation. lol I'd have more luck falling into the position during sex. haha

InHisHeart -> RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently and discreetly. :) (7/14/2014 6:58:46 PM)
You said you have a long relationship so how open are the two of you talking about your sex life or is it a "just do it" but don't talk about it type of thing? I'm just having a hard time understanding not being comfortable with talking freely and openly with each other when in a long-term relationship about sexual fantasies, desires, wants, etc.

subrosaDom -> RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently and discreetly. :) (7/14/2014 7:03:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mutwo I think it would be just to random having a rating game with kinks in normal conversation. lol I'd have more luck falling into the position during sex. haha Yes, you couldn't just launch into the conversation. Perhaps you have a couple of sexually charged board games with this thrown in between. Point being if you want to know something for sure, and you really want an honest answer not designed to please you, then you need to find a way to just get the person's "opinion" on it without its seeming too personal. At the same time, I agree with others that in a more ideal world, this wouldn't be an issue and communication would be open enough. But not everything is always ideal.

mutwo -> RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently and discreetly. :) (7/14/2014 7:11:11 PM)
Yes we would be open during sexual encounters but like we wouldn't be talking about it in normal conversation. lol Where not kinksters or anything. basicly pegging is the next step of trust. Playing all your cards at once. It's one where I was wondering is there another way around it or just gamble and hope for the best. lol

mutwo -> RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently and discreetly. :) (7/14/2014 7:13:48 PM)
Yes i understand that about being open but sometimes things are on another level. Some people may be ok with some levels of kink and others may find it the most abnormal thing known to man. So you can't be just going around saying whats in your head the whole time. No one does that anyway.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently and discreetly. :) (7/14/2014 7:56:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mutwo So you can't be just going around saying whats in your head the whole time. No one does that anyway. Ummm...... We do!! Frequently. [:)] We are very open and honest with each other and have no problems bringing up all manner of things, both sexual and non-sexual and kinky shit, without any qualms whatsoever. You say "We have had a long relationship..." so you should know by now what you can and can't bring up in a sexual conversation. If you don't know by now, you haven't been paying attention to her or getting to know her very well. The game idea was quite good but you should be able to talk about anything. If she's not that type of girl, perhaps you should keep that idea in your head as just a fantasy.

subrosaDom -> RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently and discreetly. :) (7/14/2014 9:17:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mutwo Yes i understand that about being open but sometimes things are on another level. Some people may be ok with some levels of kink and others may find it the most abnormal thing known to man. So you can't be just going around saying whats in your head the whole time. No one does that anyway. No wonder no one invites me back to parties :)

DarkSteven -> RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently and discreetly. :) (7/14/2014 10:52:29 PM)
Sit her down and ask what fantasies she may have that she hasn't acted on yet. Take note of them and think how you might be able to make them happen. And offer your own fantasies.

subrosaDom -> RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently and discreetly. :) (7/14/2014 10:58:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven Sit her down and ask what fantasies she may have that she hasn't acted on yet. Take note of them and think how you might be able to make them happen. And offer your own fantasies. And if one of them is "castration," consider a new partner :)

FieryOpal -> RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently and discreetly. :) (7/15/2014 1:31:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mutwo She does enjoy some light ass play but has not performed any ass play with me. You say you are in a long-term relationship. May I ask how long have you been a couple, are you living together, and have you talked about or made any future plans to move onto a deeper level of commitment? What do you think she will take greater issue with: Your wanting her to peg you, or the fact that you're on a kink site actively seeking Dominant, submissive, and switch women? [8\|] I think you are putting the cart before the horse. You are fantasizing about getting pegged, yet your lady is not yet on board with performing digital penetration on you (which can be done in a role-playing vanilla-ish prostate-exam scene, given that neither of you are kinksters). IMO she would need to feel comfortable with the idea of playing with a man's ass before she would be able to wrap her head around the idea of anal penetration. Light ass play can be interpreted as she hasn't gotten into anal intercourse yet herself. How's your wanting to beat her to the punch going to go over with her, other than like a lead balloon? Have either of you tried butt plugs? Are either of you dilated sufficiently to accommodate a dildo-vibrator in your anal regions? You could perhaps take baby steps with playing a "Truth or Dare" bedroom game and ease into opening a window into the whole area of discussing both of your sexual fantasies (not just what you desire), keeping the Dares from getting overly provocative the first few times. Let me give you a head's up. Unless and until I am in an intimate, committed D/s LTR, I am not willing nor have the slightest interest in doing this with my partner, nor do I know of any Dommes who will outside of an established relationship. Even with a pro-Domme, there are some who specialize in doing this, but only with select regular clients, since this crosses over into sexual contact and performing a sexual service. Otherwise, a role-playing Dominatrix hooker or service-Topping escort would be (plural) your best bet in getting your strap-on play itch scratched. FYI, contrary to what (plural) you may have seen in FemDom porn, Dominant women are not into pegging just any one- or two-trick pony anal sl-t who comes along. And no OP, this would NOT be the NEXT level of trust in your relationship. You would be pole-vaulting over several trust levels to get to your end (no pun intended) goal.

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently and discreetly. :) (7/15/2014 1:31:47 AM)
Two questions: - Have you tried receiving anal play, either by yourself or with a previous partner? Because you might want to start a bit smaller than full-on pegging. - Does she know you are exploring online with other people, and have explicit pictures (both yourself and porn shots) up on an online profile? Because if she's not aware and OK with that, you will shatter her trust in you and there won't be ANY sexy fun time, pegging or otherwise. Honestly I'd just start with, 'I'd really like to experiment with you more in bed. Is there anything you've always wanted to try?' And when it's your turn to disclose, I'd start out with, 'I've always wanted to know what anal play feels like' and build on that after you guys have a fun night experimenting together. Don't be pushy, don't expect to go from zero to ultimate fantasy in a week, don't surprise her with a gift of a strap on - just be open with each other and explore together.

FieryOpal -> RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently and discreetly. :) (7/15/2014 1:50:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders Two questions: - Have you tried receiving anal play, either by yourself or with a previous partner? Because you might want to start a bit smaller than full-on pegging. - Does she know you are exploring online with other people, and have explicit pictures (both yourself and porn shots) up on an online profile? Because if she's not aware and OK with that, you will shatter her trust in you and there won't be ANY sexy fun time, pegging or otherwise. Honestly I'd just start with, 'I'd really like to experiment with you more in bed. Is there anything you've always wanted to try?' And when it's your turn to disclose, I'd start out with, 'I've always wanted to know what anal play feels like' and build on that after you guys have a fun night experimenting together. Don't be pushy, don't expect to go from zero to ultimate fantasy in a week, don't surprise her with a gift of a strap on - just be open with each other and explore together. The other issue, too, which needs to be addressed is that women are not anatomically designed for pegging. It takes practice, in a playful no-pressure environment. Wearing a strap-on belt is awkward at first. So is the concept of wearing a fake cock, and then proceeding to use it on your man, without your female partner getting squicked or have anxiety that her man might actually be non-hetero and that your entire relationship is a sham. You might need to explain to her that being anal-erotic does not mean you are not straight, and give her plenty of assurances of your enduring and abiding love for her.

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