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How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently and ... - 7/14/2014 3:28:01 PM   
mutwo


Posts: 13
Joined: 11/5/2013
Status: offline 		I'm just wondering does anyone have any opinions on this. If not it's ok. :)
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RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently ... - 7/14/2014 3:30:55 PM   
mutwo


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Status: offline 		:)

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RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently ... - 7/14/2014 3:42:12 PM   
InHisHeart


Posts: 630
Joined: 3/22/2014
Status: offline 		When you talked to her about it, how did she feel about it and what did she say?

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RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently ... - 7/14/2014 3:52:47 PM   
mutwo


Posts: 13
Joined: 11/5/2013
Status: offline 		I haven't discussed anything as of yet. Mostly because I would be afraid of a negative reaction to it. We have had a long relationship and these thoughts have only recently crept into my head.

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RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently ... - 7/14/2014 4:40:15 PM   
InHisHeart


Posts: 630
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mutwo

I haven't discussed anything as of yet. Mostly because I would be afraid of a negative reaction to it. We have had a long relationship and these thoughts have only recently crept into my head.


Does she normally give you a negative reaction to different/new things you want to do sexually?

Has she ever played with your ass with fingers, toys, rimming? If not, that's probably a better place to start than going right into pegging. If she does play with your ass, I don't see why there would be an issue with bringing up pegging to her. Does she enjoy ass play and ass sex done to her? If so, let her know that you might enjoy the same sensation done to you.




_____________________________

I don't have a bucket list but my fucket list is a mile long.

I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.


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RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently ... - 7/14/2014 4:50:13 PM   
subrosaDom


Posts: 724
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quote:

ORIGINAL: InHisHeart


quote:

ORIGINAL: mutwo

I haven't discussed anything as of yet. Mostly because I would be afraid of a negative reaction to it. We have had a long relationship and these thoughts have only recently crept into my head.


Does she normally give you a negative reaction to different/new things you want to do sexually?

Has she ever played with your ass with fingers, toys, rimming? If not, that's probably a better place to start than going right into pegging. If she does play with your ass, I don't see why there would be an issue with bringing up pegging to her. Does she enjoy ass play and ass sex done to her? If so, let her know that you might enjoy the same sensation done to you.




I understand where you are coming from -- if you get a negative reaction, you will never be able to remove from her the memory "he's into pegging." You can talk all you want about trust, etc., but you can't take away the memory. So how do you get around that? I would suggest a game.

Come up with about 10-15 different things. You could have read an article about these or just thought about them. And you just want to find out what she thinks of them, not saying you are into them. Similarly, she gets to do the same. Of course, one of yours is pegging. The others are basically plants. Do this while relaxed, talking about expanding boundaries, etc. The idea is that perhaps the two of you will have a few that are the same. Now, if she has this awful, horrible reaction to pegging, at least you know where she stands and yet you've revealed nothing if you have a good poker face. Obviously, pegging shouldn't be first or last, nor should it be the most extreme. You want an honest answer. On the other hand, maybe it's her fantasy. She goes first with yours, you go first with hers. This allows you to "shape" your response without committing hari-kari. If she's negative, you can just say "curious, not sure if I'd like it." If she's positive, well, step right up.




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RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently ... - 7/14/2014 6:22:06 PM   
mutwo


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Status: offline 		She does enjoy some light ass play but has not performed any ass play with me.

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RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently ... - 7/14/2014 6:25:20 PM   
mutwo


Posts: 13
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Status: offline 		Hhmm ya the whole idea of randomly bringing up them ideas would be quite, actually no extremely random on my behalf. haha

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RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently ... - 7/14/2014 6:27:42 PM   
mutwo


Posts: 13
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Status: offline 		I think it would be just to random having a rating game with kinks in normal conversation. lol I'd have more luck falling into the position during sex. haha

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RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently ... - 7/14/2014 6:58:46 PM   
InHisHeart


Posts: 630
Joined: 3/22/2014
Status: offline 		You said you have a long relationship so how open are the two of you talking about your sex life or is it a "just do it" but don't talk about it type of thing?

I'm just having a hard time understanding not being comfortable with talking freely and openly with each other when in a long-term relationship about sexual fantasies, desires, wants, etc.

_____________________________

I don't have a bucket list but my fucket list is a mile long.

I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.


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RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently ... - 7/14/2014 7:03:07 PM   
subrosaDom


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quote:

ORIGINAL: mutwo

I think it would be just to random having a rating game with kinks in normal conversation. lol I'd have more luck falling into the position during sex. haha


Yes, you couldn't just launch into the conversation. Perhaps you have a couple of sexually charged board games with this thrown in between. Point being if you want to know something for sure, and you really want an honest answer not designed to please you, then you need to find a way to just get the person's "opinion" on it without its seeming too personal.

At the same time, I agree with others that in a more ideal world, this wouldn't be an issue and communication would be open enough. But not everything is always ideal.

_____________________________

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.

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RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently ... - 7/14/2014 7:11:11 PM   
mutwo


Posts: 13
Joined: 11/5/2013
Status: offline 		Yes we would be open during sexual encounters but like we wouldn't be talking about it in normal conversation. lol Where not kinksters or anything. basicly pegging is the next step of trust. Playing all your cards at once. It's one where I was wondering is there another way around it or just gamble and hope for the best. lol

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RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently ... - 7/14/2014 7:13:48 PM   
mutwo


Posts: 13
Joined: 11/5/2013
Status: offline 		Yes i understand that about being open but sometimes things are on another level. Some people may be ok with some levels of kink and others may find it the most abnormal thing known to man. So you can't be just going around saying whats in your head the whole time. No one does that anyway.

< Message edited by mutwo -- 7/14/2014 7:26:19 PM >

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RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently ... - 7/14/2014 7:56:12 PM   
freedomdwarf1


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quote:

ORIGINAL: mutwo
So you can't be just going around saying whats in your head the whole time. No one does that anyway.

Ummm...... We do!! Frequently.
We are very open and honest with each other and have no problems bringing up all manner of things, both sexual and non-sexual and kinky shit, without any qualms whatsoever.

You say "We have had a long relationship..." so you should know by now what you can and can't bring up in a sexual conversation. If you don't know by now, you haven't been paying attention to her or getting to know her very well.

The game idea was quite good but you should be able to talk about anything.
If she's not that type of girl, perhaps you should keep that idea in your head as just a fantasy.


< Message edited by freedomdwarf1 -- 7/14/2014 7:57:17 PM >

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RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently ... - 7/14/2014 9:17:14 PM   
subrosaDom


Posts: 724
Joined: 2/16/2014
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mutwo

Yes i understand that about being open but sometimes things are on another level. Some people may be ok with some levels of kink and others may find it the most abnormal thing known to man. So you can't be just going around saying whats in your head the whole time. No one does that anyway.


No wonder no one invites me back to parties :)

_____________________________

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.

- Nietzsche

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RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently ... - 7/14/2014 10:52:29 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Sit her down and ask what fantasies she may have that she hasn't acted on yet. Take note of them and think how you might be able to make them happen. And offer your own fantasies.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently ... - 7/14/2014 10:58:04 PM   
subrosaDom


Posts: 724
Joined: 2/16/2014
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Sit her down and ask what fantasies she may have that she hasn't acted on yet. Take note of them and think how you might be able to make them happen. And offer your own fantasies.



And if one of them is "castration," consider a new partner :)

_____________________________

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.

- Nietzsche

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RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently ... - 7/15/2014 1:31:05 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mutwo

She does enjoy some light ass play but has not performed any ass play with me.

You say you are in a long-term relationship. May I ask how long have you been a couple, are you living together, and have you talked about or made any future plans to move onto a deeper level of commitment?

What do you think she will take greater issue with: Your wanting her to peg you, or the fact that you're on a kink site actively seeking Dominant, submissive, and switch women?

I think you are putting the cart before the horse. You are fantasizing about getting pegged, yet your lady is not yet on board with performing digital penetration on you (which can be done in a role-playing vanilla-ish prostate-exam scene, given that neither of you are kinksters). IMO she would need to feel comfortable with the idea of playing with a man's ass before she would be able to wrap her head around the idea of anal penetration. Light ass play can be interpreted as she hasn't gotten into anal intercourse yet herself. How's your wanting to beat her to the punch going to go over with her, other than like a lead balloon? Have either of you tried butt plugs? Are either of you dilated sufficiently to accommodate a dildo-vibrator in your anal regions?

You could perhaps take baby steps with playing a "Truth or Dare" bedroom game and ease into opening a window into the whole area of discussing both of your sexual fantasies (not just what you desire), keeping the Dares from getting overly provocative the first few times.

Let me give you a head's up. Unless and until I am in an intimate, committed D/s LTR, I am not willing nor have the slightest interest in doing this with my partner, nor do I know of any Dommes who will outside of an established relationship. Even with a pro-Domme, there are some who specialize in doing this, but only with select regular clients, since this crosses over into sexual contact and performing a sexual service. Otherwise, a role-playing Dominatrix hooker or service-Topping escort would be (plural) your best bet in getting your strap-on play itch scratched.

FYI, contrary to what (plural) you may have seen in FemDom porn, Dominant women are not into pegging just any one- or two-trick pony anal sl-t who comes along. And no OP, this would NOT be the NEXT level of trust in your relationship. You would be pole-vaulting over several trust levels to get to your end (no pun intended) goal.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

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RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently ... - 7/15/2014 1:31:47 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		Two questions:

- Have you tried receiving anal play, either by yourself or with a previous partner? Because you might want to start a bit smaller than full-on pegging.
- Does she know you are exploring online with other people, and have explicit pictures (both yourself and porn shots) up on an online profile? Because if she's not aware and OK with that, you will shatter her trust in you and there won't be ANY sexy fun time, pegging or otherwise.

Honestly I'd just start with, 'I'd really like to experiment with you more in bed. Is there anything you've always wanted to try?' And when it's your turn to disclose, I'd start out with, 'I've always wanted to know what anal play feels like' and build on that after you guys have a fun night experimenting together. Don't be pushy, don't expect to go from zero to ultimate fantasy in a week, don't surprise her with a gift of a strap on - just be open with each other and explore together.

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Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

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RE: How to break a non-bdsm female into pegging gently ... - 7/15/2014 1:50:10 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

Two questions:

- Have you tried receiving anal play, either by yourself or with a previous partner? Because you might want to start a bit smaller than full-on pegging.
- Does she know you are exploring online with other people, and have explicit pictures (both yourself and porn shots) up on an online profile? Because if she's not aware and OK with that, you will shatter her trust in you and there won't be ANY sexy fun time, pegging or otherwise.

Honestly I'd just start with, 'I'd really like to experiment with you more in bed. Is there anything you've always wanted to try?' And when it's your turn to disclose, I'd start out with, 'I've always wanted to know what anal play feels like' and build on that after you guys have a fun night experimenting together. Don't be pushy, don't expect to go from zero to ultimate fantasy in a week, don't surprise her with a gift of a strap on - just be open with each other and explore together.

The other issue, too, which needs to be addressed is that women are not anatomically designed for pegging. It takes practice, in a playful no-pressure environment. Wearing a strap-on belt is awkward at first. So is the concept of wearing a fake cock, and then proceeding to use it on your man, without your female partner getting squicked or have anxiety that her man might actually be non-hetero and that your entire relationship is a sham. You might need to explain to her that being anal-erotic does not mean you are not straight, and give her plenty of assurances of your enduring and abiding love for her.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
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