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RE: Is it me or does this annoy anyone else? - 8/20/2014 9:58:30 AM   
ChrchofDrk


Posts: 304
Joined: 7/24/2013
Status: offline 		And just because someone ticks the submissive or slave box doesn't make them in any way submissive or slave either. That's kind of a dead argument don't you think? lower and upper case is simply a way to visually denote place. you don't like it? don't use it. But don't be surprised if others might be offended by you not using it. And if you are offended, in My not so humble in the least opinion, that's too fuckin bad *chuckles .... *just shakes M'balding head n wanders off .. well this devolved

(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Is it me or does this annoy anyone else? - 8/20/2014 10:01:12 AM   
kinksterparty


Posts: 89
Joined: 4/4/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug
And, I am the opposite when I enter a chatroom. As a matter of fact, there is a person in a chatroom that I frequent that identifies himself as a Dominant that I just *adore* giving crap to.


I actually have a couple of guesses as to who that person may be ;)

Protocols are optional, whether you choose to follow them or not is a personal choice, but unfortunately, there are people who think themselves Lord High Protector Of Tradition And Sheriff Of Chatroomlandia, and presume to tell others what "should" and "should not" be done. Which, to me, shows a lack of respect for other people, and a lack of recognition that they're more than the sum of their kinks.

"The community is composed not of kinks but of people" - DarkSteven.

And whether Dom, sub, or slave, people should be respected.

(in reply to littleladybug)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Is it me or does this annoy anyone else? - 8/20/2014 10:01:34 AM   
HeartAndSoul31


Posts: 148
Status: offline 		They scream Dom in a sentence with a booming voice and whisper submissive in a teeny tiny squeaky voice.
For better effect the Dom holds a paddle wacks the table and the sub holds a feather when speaking.....hahaha

(in reply to kinksterparty)
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RE: Is it me or does this annoy anyone else? - 8/20/2014 10:03:27 AM   
littleladybug


Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChrchofDrk

Well, simply, I'm old school. I was raised and vetted into this Life long before the internet. I believe there is only a few "right ways" and a great many "wrong ways". I witness "wrong ways" in practice all the time. It truly makes Me cringe. I believe in the discipline of mind it takes to properly lead. I believe there's many things that "should be" but aren't because of the deterioration of protocol and the more prevailing free for all attitude. Be that as it may. I can only live this Life the way I know to be correct. As I'm only ultimately responsible for Me and Mine


Define "old school" please. And please also define the term "vetted" as it relates to this "Life".

Honestly, I'm not trying to be disrespectful....I'm just trying to understand where the mindset is coming from.

(in reply to ChrchofDrk)
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RE: Is it me or does this annoy anyone else? - 8/20/2014 10:04:05 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		I SHALL SPEAK TO YOU SLAVES IN MAJUSCULE, AND YOU WILL ANSWER ME IN miniscule.

DONT FCUK WIHT MY, I AM DOMINATE!!!

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to littleladybug)
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RE: Is it me or does this annoy anyone else? - 8/20/2014 10:18:07 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		Bringing this subject and the subject of protocol up has me wondering something...back when I was going on a semi-regular basis to the Sanctuary, they used to hold protocol parties a couple times each year. Life caught up to me and I have not been there for a few years. I wonder if these are still held. I checked their website and they have a listing of classes that are held weekly or monthly but nothing listed about events. Do other clubs have these protocol events? How well-attended are they?

As for protocol online, I feel like the main thing that comes into play for me is courtesy. I address people I am communicating with using the manners and grammar I was taught to use. I expect the same. As things move on, a sense of protocol may come into play or it may not...for me, it is not so much about being called Sir or having my name capped while using uncapped letters for the submissive as it is about using manners and civility. If I demonstrate good manners in writing someone, all I expect in return is the same.

< Message edited by CreativeDominant -- 8/20/2014 10:54:03 AM >

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Is it me or does this annoy anyone else? - 8/20/2014 11:13:02 AM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChrchofDrk

Well presumptuous or not. All it is, is establishing simple protocol. you identify as submissive. Therefore you're lower cased. Just as a dominant is upper cased. It's just a simple establishment of place. It's not meant offensively. This is a BDSM website after all. Where dominance and submission should be established from the git go. Don't like that? Perhaps BDSM and the protocols that go with it isn't right for you



No, not really. It's an online phenomenon, not an establishment of a protocol. Been doing this a long time both from an online and from a real world perspective. You don't speak in upper and lower case when interacting at a BDSM event, do you?

I'll just go on record as saying I find the whole premise that all references to a dominant begin with capital letters and all references to a submissive being entirely lower case is extraneous fluff. And don't even get me started on slashy talk

Whether I'm writing an email to a superior or a subordinate, I'm capitalizing things that need capitalization and type in lower case things that aren't. Same goes for messages here. I don't use chat rooms...but Id refuse to use it there too. I happen to be a switch myself. How schizophrenic would my writing look if I was following this ridiculous online protocol crap? .

Capitalizing all references in written form does not make a dominant. And in my eyes, it's pretty foolish to believe it establishes dominance either. Nor does typing in lowercase for all references make one submissive. Just my honest opinion. No offense to those hooked on or in need of or like this protocol. To each their own and do what makes you happy. Again, I'm a switch. How does one handle references to me in written correspondence? Equal time split between seekingtrinity and SeekingTrinity? Half the time Im "her" and the other half "Her"? When am I "I" and when am I "i"?


< Message edited by SeekingTrinity -- 8/20/2014 11:24:07 AM >

(in reply to ChrchofDrk)
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RE: Is it me or does this annoy anyone else? - 8/20/2014 11:17:35 AM   
littleladybug


Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SeekingTrinity



Whether I'm writing an email to a superior or a subordinate, I'm capitalizing things that need capitalization and type in lower case things that aren't. Same goes for messages here. I don't use chat rooms...but Id refuse to use it there too. I happen to be a switch myself. How schizophrenic would my writing look if I was following this ridiculous online protocol crap? .


Oh, come on...the plethora of slashes would be absolutely wonderful. :)



(in reply to SeekingTrinity)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Is it me or does this annoy anyone else? - 8/20/2014 11:20:49 AM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline 		More slashes than a horror flick

(in reply to littleladybug)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Is it me or does this annoy anyone else? - 8/20/2014 11:37:14 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline 		This is a fast reply.

If someone is more uptight about whether or not you capitalize a letter than they are about whether or not you are compatible, move on.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Is it me or does this annoy anyone else? - 8/20/2014 12:10:23 PM   
littleladybug


Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChrchofDrk

And just because someone ticks the submissive or slave box doesn't make them in any way submissive or slave either. That's kind of a dead argument don't you think? lower and upper case is simply a way to visually denote place. you don't like it? don't use it. But don't be surprised if others might be offended by you not using it. And if you are offended, in My not so humble in the least opinion, that's too fuckin bad *chuckles .... *just shakes M'balding head n wanders off .. well this devolved


And, just because someone claims to be the bestest Master ever, doesn't make them so.

LMAO--- apparently it's not "dead" because you responded to it.

Personally, I can't imagine that the mythical "old guard", whoever they may be, would give their blessing to a situation where a "Master" expects a 6 month commitment from a slave, but can get rid of her at any point. Of course, if she has some sense about her, she would realize that her "commitment" means jack...but, yeah...that's not the point here. This is manipulation, plain and simple, under the guise of "being vetted by the supreme wonderful miraculous BDSM counsel". Surprise, surprise, I call crap on that.



(in reply to ChrchofDrk)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Is it me or does this annoy anyone else? - 8/20/2014 12:25:21 PM   
ChrchofDrk


Posts: 304
Joined: 7/24/2013
Status: offline 		Actually I said nothing about Old Guard. I actually said Old School and all "Old School" means is older traditions. Just means I came up in a different time with a different set of values. Nothing more. Call crap on whatever you like. I don't care. What you think really doesn't make much difference to Me. Although, considering there's no such thing as Old Guard and Old Guard was just something made up by the old Leather Societies to separate the ones that were full of shit and the ones that weren't. Do you really even have a clue of which you speak?

(in reply to littleladybug)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Is it me or does this annoy anyone else? - 8/20/2014 12:41:43 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChrchofDrk

Well presumptuous or not. All it is, is establishing simple protocol. you identify as submissive. Therefore you're lower cased. Just as a dominant is upper cased. It's just a simple establishment of place. It's not meant offensively. This is a BDSM website after all. Where dominance and submission should be established from the git go. Don't like that? Perhaps BDSM and the protocols that go with it isn't right for you


Bullshit!


The upper case/lower case comes from early net chat sites. Not from any real life relationships.

You must have meant to say "Perhaps cyber BDSM and cyber bullshit protocols that go with it isn't right for you".

Don't thank me, I'm happy to have fixed it for you.


It doesn't come from the Old Guard. I knew those guys and they were too busy fucking to send mail to prospective bottoms. Not that I can refer you to any of them, half died of AIDS and the other half have since died of old age.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 8/20/2014 12:45:33 PM >

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to ChrchofDrk)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Is it me or does this annoy anyone else? - 8/20/2014 12:49:50 PM   
ChrchofDrk


Posts: 304
Joined: 7/24/2013
Status: offline 		Ummmm ... what part of Me saying it only had to do with type in the first place did everyone seem to miss? Wouldn't early chat be type? Color Me confused

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Is it me or does this annoy anyone else? - 8/20/2014 12:59:01 PM   
littleladybug


Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChrchofDrk
Although, considering there's no such thing as Old Guard and Old Guard was just something made up by the old Leather Societies to separate the ones that were full of shit and the ones that weren't. Do you really even have a clue of which you speak?


Yes, as a matter of fact, I do have a clue. Thanks for the courtesy of asking though.

My apologies...should have used the term "old school". I know this is probably a very simplistic question...but I will deign to ask it anyway. These "old leather societies"...is there anything in writing....you know, more "concrete" than just the mythical, anecdotal stories? Anything that's widely accepted within the community? I would honestly love to add that to my reading list.

Frankly, I've lived through almost 2 decades of people claiming that one way or the other is the way things "should be" in this lifestyle. And, I have yet to see any definitive answer. Over the years, I have come to the conclusion that it's simply a personal thing. And, honestly, the more people wrap it in "here's my resume from the ultimate leather domination group", the less I respect them.

But, yes, if you can get a gal to agree to your terms....as a graduate of whatever leather university...have at it. If you can con someone into giving themselves to you, with the agreement that they give themselves totally to you, and you can get rid of them at any point....have at it. In thinking of this mythical "old school" though, I'm wondering what they would think of being married and looking for a piece on the side. Is THAT what this life is all about? Could you point me to some seminal work by these "old school" people that deals with this?

As far as I'm concerned, you can do whatever the fuck you want with your life. But, really, don't wrap it in "this is the way it should be", when in reality it is not.


(in reply to ChrchofDrk)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Is it me or does this annoy anyone else? - 8/20/2014 1:15:01 PM   
ChrchofDrk


Posts: 304
Joined: 7/24/2013
Status: offline 		Ummm ... I think you completely misunderstand littleladybug. I in no way meant to imply I was or ever have been a part of any leather society. In those days, as previously pointed out, those involved with the leather societies were predominately gay. I'm not gay. Not into it. Rather loathe 5 o'clock shadow on My inner thigh. Just not My thing. Yes, mostly from what I knew of them, they fucked a lot and most are long dead and gone now. It's just that I first heard of Old Guard coming from their camp and why this so called Old Guard was created in the first place. However, I'm no historian. All I know is what I've been led to believe My entire life. Just like everybody else

(in reply to littleladybug)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Is it me or does this annoy anyone else? - 8/20/2014 1:19:06 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChrchofDrk

Ummmm ... what part of Me saying it only had to do with type in the first place did everyone seem to miss? Wouldn't early chat be type? Color Me confused



And that's the problem. That you're passing off as fact something which is fiction.
That you don't know what you're talking about.

The Old Guard were the WWII leathermen, whose protocols were different in every city. But what was common to them was that they were all at risk of arrest for the crime of being homosexual.
The protocols, the master and slave stuff, came about to prevent being arrested for having sex with other men.

Cops wouldn't agree to be naked slaves in a public bath house, so by requiring such, the leathermen avoided entrapment.

The first city in the nation to decriminalize homosexuality was NYC in June 1969, the Stonewall riots. Although as riots go, they were highly civilized. No looting, just civil disobedience. It wasn't until the following year that San Francisco followed suit.

And it's telling that it was NYC, home to the fashion industry, the advertizing industry, all of which had a higher than average rate of homosexual employment. When faced not just with people in the streets, but the threat of the loss of major revenue, the city backed down and started re-educating the police. The highly Irish Catholic police , and that took some doing.

You might reconsider coming into a group of people you don't know, and setting yourself up as the arbiter of all true. Because as now, you will wind up with egg on your face. And frankly, I'm surprised you haven't learned that by your age.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to ChrchofDrk)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Is it me or does this annoy anyone else? - 8/20/2014 1:23:28 PM   
ChrchofDrk


Posts: 304
Joined: 7/24/2013
Status: offline 		Oh look. An expert. Thanks so much for enlightening all of us. I shant be concerned with this anymore. Have a nice day and thanks so much for the chastisement oh great and imperious leader

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Is it me or does this annoy anyone else? - 8/20/2014 1:24:37 PM   
littleladybug


Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChrchofDrk

However, I'm no historian. All I know is what I've been led to believe My entire life. Just like everybody else


And, that's your reality...not the way things "should be". I mean, unless, you're just blindly following some random doctrine....


(in reply to ChrchofDrk)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Is it me or does this annoy anyone else? - 8/20/2014 2:03:23 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		But his reality could easily be that the world is flat. After all, he can't see the curvature of the earth with his own eyes.
But someone's reality is not necessarily true.

There are historians he could read. Hell, he could listen to people like me who knew the Old Guard as friends of my parents.

What he shouldn't do is declare that anyone who doesn't believe in his flat world reality automatically doesn't belong in a power relationship. Which is what he did, and that's what we've called him out on.

Believe the world is flat, I don't care. But you don't get to tell anyone else that they have to believe with you or they aren't welcome here.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to littleladybug)
Profile   Post #: 40
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