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FieryOpal -> RE: Anal sex: reality or just porn? (9/7/2014 1:39:39 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Tantriqu
It seems a lot of people who don't enjoy anal sex were not introduced properly, i.e., gently and slowly, and with orgasms.
Every man I've had has been interested and was able to put his anxiety aside; the trick is to put a finger *against* and not in the anus at first; it allows them to feel the contractions of their orifice and perineum during their 'regular' orgasm; it astounds them. Then one lubricated pinky just inside the external sphincter, then to the inner sphincter, then a forefinger, then perhaps a toy, then a strap-on. And then: let the games begin!
And then you hear stories of just ramming dicks or toys inside without lube, let alone without excitation: shameful, if not assault. And then the next time the poor recipient will tighten up at even the thought: how sad.
Not only that, it isn't just a matter of lots of lube. I'm hearing that some women aren't reaching orgasm, and unless they are not able to come from masturbating whatsoever, there's no reason for this. They should be self-stimulating before and during the entire process, which will help the receiver relax her muscles and keep them from tightening back up. The body's natural response is to tighten up with contractions (this is an ejective aperture) and so you must counteract that.
You're absolutely right, Tantriq, about starting out small. Get the receiver used to experiencing pleasurable sensations externally (vibrator will do this handsomely, with the female rubbing her clitoris; male strokes himself or gets stroked if his hands are restrained), digital penetration initially, introduce a starter butt plug and/or small string of anal beads, then work your way up.
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