RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults

RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (Full Version)

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eulero83 -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/13/2014 1:08:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant Jehovah's' witnesses that don't take no for an answer. by personal experience and anedoctal evidence a display of kinks is the quickest way to get out of this specific situation.

TheCabal -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/13/2014 4:37:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GotSteel quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady I do understand what you are saying, but realistically, in both places (walking down the street, or in a kink club) the person is saying, "look at me, look at me." That's not necessarily true. Yes, some people are exhibitionists and desire to behave in a way that's "vulgar" in order to get off on the stares. But for others, high protocol, pets, etc, it's just their normal lifestyle. It's not about getting stares but about not having to constantly hide who they are. Ah yes. Now we get into the question of what the word "vulgar" means. I find myself agreeing with the notion that high protocol doesn't necessarily count. Just for the sake of the argument, does taking a slave out in ballet heels rather than a leash make a difference? I'd suggest that it does... just because the ballet heels are more subtle. Maybe. The way a submissive is dressed matters too... after all, there's 'classy sexy' and 'trashy sexy.' With the right clothing (and the right body to put it on), you can almost completely cover someone and they're still almost obscenely sexy. And I don't just mean completely covering them in just a layer of latex either.

MercTech -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/14/2014 9:52:18 AM)
I'd say it is more of asking where does the Mrs. Grundy factor kick in. It all depends on the venue and prevailing local laws. You do the leash and latex bit on Bourbon Street in NOLA, few bat an eye. You go out in the same outfit at the Zoological park in midwest burbia; prepare for jail time.

CreativeDominant -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/14/2014 11:19:39 AM)
I'm of several viewpoints regarding this so let me see if I can make sense. We live in the societies we live in and geography does play a role as it seems to be the reason for a more accepting or non-accepting outlook. In addition, there is the whole work thing that smileforme brought up. Could I get away with leasing my submissive in N.Y. or San Fran or New Orleans? Probably. I might even be able to get away with it in Denver although I think I'd probably draw more unwanted attention in Denver. But...I live in a small town, 12 - 14 thousand folks. There is not a day I go downtown or out running errands or out for an evening that I don't run into either patients, or acquaintances or ex-family. As I've stated on previous threads, my ex outed my interest in WIITWD. Can you imagine the speculation, the rumors kindled were I to lead my submissive on a leash?. I might as well say "fuck you, Mrs. Wasson...this is the REAL me" to the nice 72 year old who's going to walk into my office on Monday...or was...for her 10 o'clock appointment for me to work on her lower back. It IS the real me...I like my submissive on a leash occasionally...I like her naked when I'm clothed but that doesn't play well in public either. The real me is a mix of allllll kinds of interesting things, part...PART...of which is my involvement in D/s. Then, there's Gauge's point about Americans hangups with sex. He makes a valid point but there's a bit of a conundrum for me. I love sex...big surprise...but that doesn't mean I want to make out heavily with my partner in public, no matter where I am. Nor do I care to see anyone else doing so....in a public setting. I had kids...both have a healthy sexual interest in their partners. I taught then thought without having to make love to their mother in front of them. I have subtle ways of showing my D/s involvement in publick without being an attention seeker because at some point...as has been pointed out...that is what you become.

MariaB -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/14/2014 12:08:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge Are our attitudes toward this sort of thing more of a cultural thing here in America because sex is vilified and often suppressed to the point of stupidity? Is this sort of thing handled differently in other countries, particularly Europe and the oft wacky UK? I can only speak for the UK and France. In both these countries it very much depends where you are. In London and Paris its an every day occurrence to see the weird, the wild and the wonderful. In London I have seen a human pony and trap, a Goddess carried over London Bridge on a throne chair as well as a few people on collars and leashes. In Paris I have walked behind a very pregnant woman who's loose skirt was so short I could just see her bum cheeks. As the wind blew, the skirt kept blowing up and she clearly wasn't wearing knickers!. In both Paris and London we see some very provocatively dressed T-girls. In both London and Paris, I wouldn't turn a blind eye on a woman dressed from head to toe in latex on a collar and leash, assuming she isn't showing any naughty bits. If I had young children with me and they questioned me about her/them, I would answer the same way I would if they asked me about the six foot man dressed from head to toe in ladies clothes, "Some people like to express themselves a certain way and that's fine, don't you think?" Out in the sticks its different, though T-girls are still a common and mostly unnoticed minority.

IrishMist -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/14/2014 3:09:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: InHisHeart I don't have a problem with seeing some kink in public as long as what they're doing is legal and it's not hurting anyone. I've seen things in public that I didn't approve of but that's on me, I own my feelings. Others might approve of something I don't approve of. When I see something I don't like, I stop looking, it only takes a second to turn my head. No one owes it to me to act in a way that I approve of. As for kids seeing it, I've had to explain much more disturbing things to my kids than a man walking a woman on a leash or men making out in the park. I totally agree with this.

LafayetteLady -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/14/2014 6:30:12 PM)
I think many people have trouble drawing the line between what THEY personally would do as opposed to what is ok for others to do. This is a private part of my relationships and I have no need to share it with the public. That's MY decision (and my partners...yea imagine that, a D who wouldn't force her s to go public). Now others may make different decisions. If I am going to try to be a tolerant human being, it means being tolerant of all types of other people, not just those I'm actually comfortable with. If I were to see such a thing in my local park, I would likely go up to the people and remind them our park is a place for families and small children, and they might want to embrace their thing somewhere there are less small children present. On the other hand, what about the openly homosexual couple who bring their child to the park? Should they be asked to go somewhere else for everyone else's comfort level? Quite the slippery slope. I think for me, it comes down to the appropriateness of the public place, like I said before. When master/slave mom and dad take their kids to the park, should mom be on a leash? Probably not. The reality is that we all need to express our lifestyle in the way that is comfortable for us, not telling others to follow only our rules (within reason and legal parameters).

GotSteel -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/16/2014 6:39:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady I think for me, it comes down to the appropriateness of the public place, like I said before. When master/slave mom and dad take their kids to the park, should mom be on a leash? Probably not. Why?

SimplyMichael -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/16/2014 7:06:15 AM)
If you need to shock the natives so you can pretend you are "extreme" or more "serious" then you to gain some self confidence and maturity. I want to expose my woman's cunt to a stranger, I do it to a guy in a bar, the chance of offending someone is near zero. It like the teenage kids who walk REAL slow in a crosswalk, relishing the rare moment of power they are experiencing, its small and petty.

LittleGirlHeart -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/16/2014 9:26:55 AM)
I want blue hair, hell purple and pink and other colors because i think the colors are beautiful and would it look good on me, and i enjoy trying new thi gs. I dont care who does or dos not notice, and im not doin it as a ooooh look at me! I'm doing it to satisfy my curiosity and pleasure of what oddly colored hair would look like on me. quote: ORIGINAL: Kaliko I feel the same way about public displays of kink as I do about people with blue hair or people who wear offensive t-shirts. They're doing it because they want to be noticed. Yes, I do believe that there are people who genuinely think their hair looks better blue, or who genuinely enjoy wearing clothing with curse words all over it (maybe like some people like polka dots - for whatever reason, maybe they really do find it visually appealing). But my gut tells me that most people are masking their desire for attention, their desire to feel special, with something that will get them that attention and then call it a kink, or a fashion preference, or whatever so that they have something to point to and say "See? I'm special because I am this thing."*

LafayetteLady -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/16/2014 5:22:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GotSteel quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady I think for me, it comes down to the appropriateness of the public place, like I said before. When master/slave mom and dad take their kids to the park, should mom be on a leash? Probably not. Why? Because I don't think it is something you should do around your kids to be quite frank. A child seeing a stranger do this will ask their parent/guardian. A child seeing their parent do this will ask their parent. Children need to be free to make their own decisions in life and this is the type of thing that may give them defined roles instead of being able to choose for themselves. As for the appropriateness of the place....it depends on the place, as I've already mentioned. A grade school function? If you are there as a parent, you should look like a parent, not someone's pet. A church? I know you are an atheist, but if you attended a church for a wedding or whatever, you should have respect for the people who are congregants there. A courtroom? Well, if you are stupid enough to show up for court in latex and wearing a leash, go for it. The judge will handle that in due course, and you aren't likely to be happy about it.

deathtothepixies -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/16/2014 5:36:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant insecure idiot clever words, nice arguments, yes you are. Walk down the street naked

ExiledTyrant -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/16/2014 6:15:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: deathtothepixies quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant insecure idiot clever words, nice arguments, yes you are. Walk down the street naked Gloom, despair, and agony unforeseen... I have been discovered. I thought my faux uber Domliness would conceal the truth... I'm so transparent... I'm cellophane. [sm=river.gif]

GotSteel -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/16/2014 6:41:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady Because I don't think it is something you should do around your kids to be quite frank. I get that, hence my question why. quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady A child seeing a stranger do this will ask their parent/guardian. A child seeing their parent do this will ask their parent. and? quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady Children need to be free to make their own decisions in life and this is the type of thing that may give them defined roles instead of being able to choose for themselves. By that same logic children shouldn't be exposed to marriage, yes? I mean if we're actually interested in them choosing for themselves then we should be exposing them to many different lifestyles/roles or none. The moment you discriminate against some roles/lifestyles you are doing exactly what you're saying you want to avoid. quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady As for the appropriateness of the place....it depends on the place, as I've already mentioned. A grade school function? If you are there as a parent, you should look like a parent, not someone's pet. A church? I know you are an atheist, but if you attended a church for a wedding or whatever, you should have respect for the people who are congregants there. A courtroom? Well, if you are stupid enough to show up for court in latex and wearing a leash, go for it. The judge will handle that in due course, and you aren't likely to be happy about it. Would you give this same spiel to someone who was transgendered? If this sort of spiel was used to justify discrimination against someone who's transgendered would you consider it incredibly bigoted?

IrishMist -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/16/2014 7:01:08 PM)
~FR~ I have tattoos. I have two slave bands, one around each arm. They start on the bicep and extend downward to my wrist. I have a tattoo across my shoulders in the back which says, in very large black letters 'property of xxxxx xxxxx" the x's being my late husbands name. I wore a collar for more than 20yrs. I wore this collar around my neck, 24/7. Not a necklace that 99% of those here call a collar. A real slaves collar. With a lock on it, and tag identifying my owner. I also raised 4 children. Went to school with them, attended school functions, took them to church. I never covered my tattoos or tried to hide my collar. They are a part of me. A part that I was and am very proud of. The school never batted an eye. The other parents never batted an eye. Those in church never said a word, or looked disgusted/shocked. My kids grew up watching how their father and I interacted with each other. If they had questions, they asked and were told the blunt, honest truth. We did not believe in sugar coating or lying. Did we run around the house naked? Of course not. But the tattoos, the piercings and the collar were all explained honestly. My kids had no problems with it. Their friends had no problems with it. The parents of their friends had no problems with it. So, if I see someone walking down the street on a leash and collar...I applaud the person for having the confidence to be themselves in a world that says hiding is better.

Domnotlooking -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/17/2014 10:10:23 AM)
It's too rare an occurrence for me to have a policy statement about. I'll likely drift to my grave having never seen it at all. One meager time at Applebee's (yuck), I heard a guy in the next booth saying "so did you not wear panties? Did you? Did you not?". Sadly, the woman -the one I actually wanted to hear from- was inaudible. But if I ever did see a leash scenario, I'd get a little sexy buzz from their romantic frission and then leave it alone. I can't possibly fathom what a child circa 2014 would make of it. I won't even try. In this media-soaked Kardashian-spanking world? Not much, is my guess. To me it's the same as if I saw people making out and groping each other in a GP-rated manner in a bar. Would I say those people lack confidence or self-esteem? Nope. How could I say that about people I'd want to be?

LafayetteLady -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/17/2014 11:36:49 AM)
I've admitted it can be a slippery slope. The point I'm making is that BLATANT displays should be kept at home. Should the transgendered not take their children to the park? Of course they should. But they shouldn't be feeling up their partner while their there, and neither should the heterosexual couple. As Irishmist said, she was honest with her children, but they didn't blatantly display their roles in front of the kids (i.e. going around naked). You say they shouldn't be exposed to marriage if that's my position. So then I guess in your point of view, prostitutes should be able to hawk their wares in the kids' park as well? After all, they are making a lifestyle choice, are they not? I'm all for people having freedom, but there are some things that I think people should use a little discretion about the when and where. A perfectly "vanilla" example: One shouldn't be drinking alcohol openly in the kids' park either.

orgasmdenial12 -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/17/2014 3:04:26 PM)
I don't consider exhibitionism to be a de facto part of D/s, nor do I see it as having any automatic relationship with D/s. One can be D/s without being exhibitionist and be exhibitionist without being D/s. Exhibitionism has nothing to do with consent or submission and needs to be considered separately. Ultimately, exhibitionism is the desire to force others to be confronted by your sexuality - it is by nature non-consensual. An exhibitionist would not get their kick by 'displaying' in a room full of people who couldn't care less - they need the shocked reaction and / or disapproval of those watching in order to get a thrill. This is much easier to achieve when those watching have not consented to witnessing the display and when the display is inappropriate to the time and place. Exhibitionists will often downplay the non-consenting aspect of their kink as though the non-consenting third parties were irrelevant to their enjoyment. Yet they will admit that they simply don't get the same thrill being led around on their leash in a place where they are unlikely to be seen by such people. The exhibitionist is similar to the flasher in the dirty mac who exposes himself to unwilling people - they both want to shock and outrage and they need the non-consenting third party to do so. I personally consider it a kind of sexual harassment. When you're getting your sexual kicks out of people who don't want to be a part of your sex life, then it is at best a violation of non-consenting parties and, at worst, a kind of sex offence.

SeekingTrinity -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/17/2014 6:27:33 PM)
All I want to say is that when someone gets a hard on for you, Gauge...they put John Holmes to shame with how freakin' ginormous that hard on is [:)]

BecomingV -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/17/2014 6:28:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessManko quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant Well shit. I guess I should've checked the statistics. Who knew that 100% of the worlds population are consensual voyeurs. Kindly disregard this thread as the tripe it is. Ha, no, it has substance. But I feel like there is a bit of sadism in the ability to get other people involved in the scene, as a backdrop with or without said consent. In fact, I think the fact it unsettles the unwilling voyeurs might thrill the Dom further. Well, it makes sense in my mind in any case. Manko, I'm genuinely surprised at this. Don't you know that the difference between a BDSM sadist and a criminal sadist, IS CONSENT? What you describe... a lack of concern for the rights of others, is the hallmark of a criminal mind? I've read more than one sadist here passionately complain about being lumped in with the criminal types. Wow, just, Wow! ETA - In case it's not obvious, I refer to the actions of a sadist without consent... not the fantasy of it.

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