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BecomingV -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/18/2014 12:24:45 AM)
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I can see why you think that. AFTER Guage suggested here, that I was trolling him, which made no sense to me, I went to the forums page and after a bit, ran across his last response on that thread. I had no idea that there was more, from him. LOL So, that's inaccurate. I'd said my peace on that thread and really couldn't fathom his objection to people getting their information from NSFA, on consent. But, I'd moved on. I'm okay with standing disagreements. That one became about ego, so I got bored.
I'm sorry for the loss of your grandfather. I didn't lose anyone that close, but I spent the late 70's and early 80's working in theater. I returned to San Francisco on Broadway National Tours, repeatedly, for months at a time. You get very close to each other, as roadies. Much like soldiers do, with each other. And, so many of our gay friends died. It was horrible! Heck, A Normal Heart just won the Emmy for movie of the year - it's about those times and what we went through.
I have been known to go off on people who are being so heartlessly disrespectful to a group. Here, as I recall, the last time was when someone shat on poly people. Of any group in our local community, it's the poly people who are very well networked. They are responsible for helping abandoned slaves get housed, jobs and hugged! They help newbies by taking them to their first munches. They alert everyone when someone is in the hospital and their pet needs feeding or they need company or support of any kind. I'm blown away by the hearts of poly people. So, I got some feedback that I went a bit strong. What can I say? Guilty.
The "point" could have been made using language that is not hateful. If you step back and think about it, it wasn't "gay men," it was other descriptors which negatively targeted gay men who celebrate their feminine sides. You have to be a special kind of low life to perpetuate the hate, IMO. Which I made perfectly clear. Only stupid people can't think of other ways of expressing themselves, and I wouldn't call Guage stupid. Just, hateful in that post and whiny in another. It's a mistake to think I connected the two. I had forgotten about the other one. And, while he may have an ongoing problem with me, it's not reciprocated. I've read maybe 40 of his posts... he can be impressive and interesting. Perhaps I expect more of him. Someone who is not homophobic wouldn't use those words. He reveals himself. But, say I'm wrong, for the sake of argument. And, he just used hate language to make a point... where was the part where he apologizes to not only gay people but to anyone who cares about them and respects them, explaining that he has no personal malice, but is pretending to be a homophobe for purposes of debate?
Seriously, here we are mindful to not disparage others for their kinks, but hating gay guys is okay? No. Keep that crap in your own colon and let it fester there. Throw it out here, some of us will respond.
As to why I react differently than you do? We're different people, I suppose.
I recently admonished a poster for referring to herself as "bitchy," - she was admitting that her reply to me was "bitchy." While she clearly disagreed with me, I perceived no rancor in the strength of her disagreement. I thought she'd read what I'd written, considered it and rejected it. I respect that. But when I read her categorization, I felt sad for her. It made me think that someone had told her that if she's strong, or disagrees or argues, then she is somehow "less." Calling strong disagreement "bitchy" is a way to discourage women's power, so I asked her to not participate in perpetuating that hate, and never again refer to women as bitches. Yes, I did notice that you suffer from the same ailment. It's all too common.
So, you see, gay guys aren't the only ones I stick up for. The need just arose on the thread, IMO.
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