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RE: Topping from Bottom? Really? - 9/26/2014 6:30:25 PM   
GoddessManko


Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla
And I'm pretty sure OP is in a better position than you to determine whether or not said Dom was joking.


Eh well everyone is an adult, to each his own but if anything I'd always advise to exercise caution. My edgy girl can be over the top and for this reason I unfortunately may have to detach, but she thinks being a lesbian is a green light to have guys in her place, blah blah blah. Sometimes you can just avoid what may trump up to be a bad situation (I have averted my share of them via use of tact, thank goodness I'm good at understanding people) and if you don't know the person well enough and have them as a D, not even a regular Joe, stomping around on your territory, it kind of means you're quite lucky to avert trouble.

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to RockaRolla)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Topping from Bottom? Really? - 9/26/2014 6:39:55 PM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

quote:

But out of the ones that actually made it long enough so that I eventually invited them to my apartment...


Really? So you are Okay because even though they are in your apartment they are not your "partner", and even though you are alone with them and brought them into your apartment then you did not "choose" them. Oh please. I'm done.

So wait, everyone I bring into my apartment immediately becomes my partner?

And I'm pretty sure OP is in a better position than you to determine whether or not said Dom was joking.


That's so weird RockaRolla, every chick I bring to my house becomes my Siamese twin... connected at the genitals... for the night anyway.

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to RockaRolla)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Topping from Bottom? Really? - 9/26/2014 6:43:00 PM   
RockaRolla


Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant


quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

quote:

But out of the ones that actually made it long enough so that I eventually invited them to my apartment...


Really? So you are Okay because even though they are in your apartment they are not your "partner", and even though you are alone with them and brought them into your apartment then you did not "choose" them. Oh please. I'm done.

So wait, everyone I bring into my apartment immediately becomes my partner?

And I'm pretty sure OP is in a better position than you to determine whether or not said Dom was joking.


That's so weird RockaRolla, every chick I bring to my house becomes my Siamese twin... connected at the genitals... for the night anyway.
I assume then the need for warnings like "that door is broken" become irrelevant.

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Topping from Bottom? Really? - 9/26/2014 6:54:49 PM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline 		Nope. it's usually the next morning aftermath... "Damn, I need to start buying solid core doors... or stop banging them out against them... nope, solid core doors it is."

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to RockaRolla)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Topping from Bottom? Really? - 9/26/2014 7:01:09 PM   
GoddessManko


Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

That's so weird RockaRolla, every chick I bring to my house becomes my Siamese twin... connected at the genitals... for the night anyway.


Proof Exiled is going to kill me with laughter.I laughed so hard I almost aspirated, LOL. And is the primary reason I may have to detach from my sweet tattooed seductress.

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Topping from Bottom? Really? - 9/28/2014 8:15:33 AM   
ASimpleTailor


Posts: 8
Joined: 9/25/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

quote:

ORIGINAL: ASimpleTailor

I agree that it is all in how you deliver the information.

"Sir, I wanted to let you know that the bathroom door can be finicky and doesn't shut properly."

versus

"Don't shut the bathroom door because it's broken."

A little respectful dialogue goes a long way.


So totally agreed here. For me this is absolutely crucial if I'm going to coexist, there's no need to be snippy for no reason. Delivery and presentation of the message matters as much as the message itself.
Edited to add; PS, I am INTJ as well. :)


Nice to meet a fellow INTJ. ;-)

_____________________________

But what do I know. I'm just a simple tailor.

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Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Topping from Bottom? Really? - 9/28/2014 12:13:45 PM   
RockaRolla


Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko


quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

That's so weird RockaRolla, every chick I bring to my house becomes my Siamese twin... connected at the genitals... for the night anyway.


Proof Exiled is going to kill me with laughter.I laughed so hard I almost aspirated, LOL. And is the primary reason I may have to detach from my sweet tattooed seductress.
Mmm, tattoos. Send her my way?

Yes, Exiled, I recommend investing in better doors. May also want to tackle those walls while you're at it, but that can be a bitch of a project.

(in reply to GoddessManko)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Topping from Bottom? Really? - 9/28/2014 12:16:58 PM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla

Yes, Exiled, I recommend investing in better doors. May also want to tackle those walls while you're at it, but that can be a bitch of a project.



I recently bought this house and it's a complete remodel. Which tickles me, cuz I am going steampunk through and through ;)


_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to RockaRolla)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Topping from Bottom? Really? - 9/28/2014 1:28:12 PM   
GoddessManko


Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

I recently bought this house and it's a complete remodel. Which tickles me, cuz I am going steampunk through and through ;)



Holy shiz, I'm planning on selling steam punk clothing, can I use your house as the storefront? Thanks in advance.

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Topping from Bottom? Really? - 9/28/2014 3:21:06 PM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko


quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

I recently bought this house and it's a complete remodel. Which tickles me, cuz I am going steampunk through and through ;)



Holy shiz, I'm planning on selling steam punk clothing, can I use your house as the storefront? Thanks in advance.


Yep... but I'll most likely bang you out if you show up.

Jus sayin

P.S. I'll keep posting update photos on Fet.

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to GoddessManko)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Topping from Bottom? Really? - 10/6/2014 8:21:09 PM   
LrdSatyr8


Posts: 21
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Oxford, NC
Status: offline 		I believe you could have phrased your information a bit more eloquently however, for a dom to show that level of insecurity as to snap back at you for something that minor would be a red flag for sub

(in reply to subrosaDom)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Topping from Bottom? Really? - 10/29/2014 12:57:32 AM   
MistressMeltz


Posts: 124
Joined: 7/8/2007
Status: offline

Hold out for the one who fixes it for you.
[/quote]

Hell yeh

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(in reply to areallivehuman)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Topping from Bottom? Really? - 10/29/2014 12:58:43 AM   
MistressMeltz


Posts: 124
Joined: 7/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

Wow, this is wrong in so many ways I cannot count them.

"I'm not supposed to tell him what to do"~ sure, we'll wait for the horror story to land in "BDSM in the news". Of course you're supposed to tell him what to do, it's negotiate, evaluate, play mate.

"Suggest"~ Okay, suggest for play, really? Would you really suggest that your ass is not the perfect holder for the handle of his flogger? The D isn't going to suggest what you do, neither should you. It's play, your way, his way, and if it connects, you're going to have a great evening of it.

"Don't close the bathroom door"~ Only an imbecile is going to walk into someone else's home and take over. I have "No Trespassing" signs posted on my property. THEY ARE NOT POLITE SUGGESTIONS. At the least they will get a trespass warrant filed against them, at worst they'll get shot in the face. I clean, oil, and sight my weapons regularly while in the front yard so as not to "suggest" no one trespass, but to make it pointedly clear that "You can and will be shot in the face." I'm not a gun nut, but once the Meth epidemic became an epidemic, I made it a point to let everyone know a gun lives here.

"You should not tell me what to do" ~ great for an established dynamic, bootsville for a presumptuous prick.

Don't give your submission away, darlin, make them earn the RIGHT to have it.

Jus sayin

I like you :)

_____________________________

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http://www.images4sale.com/1043
http://www.niteflirt.com/meltznyomouf

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Topping from Bottom? Really? - 10/29/2014 1:45:57 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline 		FR

I think this is often the sad side of looking for dominants. There are plenty of these fake macho insecure men masquerading as dominants and then trying to tell you, you aren't submissive enough.

But good riddance to this guy on your part!

I would have personally, after he said that, told him okay, close the door if he wants.

And if he gets stuck inside, I'd just laugh silently, and entertain myself while he figures how to get out.

I'm surprise you haven't got a dom to fix your door yet. I'm the damsel in distress type, my door was coming unhinged and not closing properly and my x-dom immediately fix it for me without me asking him. I simply told him about my door problem. I like it when men do manly things like that though. I am happy playing the useless female who can't fix her own door.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 10/29/2014 2:01:17 AM >

(in reply to MistressMeltz)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Topping from Bottom? Really? - 10/31/2014 8:24:58 AM   
MstrOwl


Posts: 1
Joined: 5/27/2004
Status: offline 		Those Dominants have issues. There is nothing wrong with providing constructive information. I have fixed many problems that existed in submissive's homes over the years, Some quite major. Why ? It should be the Dominant's ( or any Dominant persons) roll to help his submissive be the best she can be, both in and out of the D/s mode. The Dominant being the one in control, should also be responsible for her safety and security. Not that any given sub couldn't kick someone's a$$ on her own, or be aware of her own safety. This type, as with any type of relationship, should be a cooperative effort giving and sharing the energies with each other.

As was stated by someone earlier, find one that would fix it, and also one who is interested in helping you be the best you can be.

(in reply to subrosaDom)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Topping from Bottom? Really? - 10/31/2014 10:35:38 AM   
littleladybug


Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

I like it when men do manly things like that though. I am happy playing the useless female who can't fix her own door.


I'm with you Greta. My motto is "I could do it, but thank God I don't have to".

My idea about this is that I am not going to force it...but if he wants to do it, I won't stop him. After all, who doesn't want to feel "needed" in this way?

--

Now, insofar as "topping from the bottom" (I literally cringe every time I see that phrase....), my theory is that if I'm trying to help someone out with what I am saying, if they get offended that I've "told them what to do", I shrug and let them deal with the consequences. I tend to preface things with "you might (might not) want to.....". I'm not doing this just to hear myself talk....there's a reason. If they choose to ignore-- not too much I can do about that. I'm not going to worry that I haven't "phrased it right" or whatever.


(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Topping from Bottom? Really? - 11/1/2014 4:31:57 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		[Fixed it for ya]
quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

I think this is often the sad side of looking for dominants. There are plenty of these fake macho insecure men masquerading as dominants and then trying to tell you, you aren't submissive enough.

But good riddance to this guy on your part!

I would have personally, after he said that, told him okay, close the door if he wants.

And if he gets stuck inside, I'd just laugh silently, and entertain myself while he figures how to get out.

I'm surprise you haven't got a dom to fix your door yet. I'm the damsel in distress type, my door was coming unhinged and not closing properly and my x-dom immediately fix it for me without me asking him. I simply told him about my door problem. I like it when men do manly things like that though. I am happy playing the helpless female who can't fix her own door.

I'm pretty sure you meant "helpless" not "useless" (as in need of help).
It's the Dom who can't roll up his sleeves like a regular vanilla dude, or who doesn't have a handy buddy he can send over to fix the problem who's the "useless" one.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Topping from Bottom? Really? - 11/1/2014 6:35:28 AM   
smileforme50


Posts: 1623
Joined: 1/24/2013
From: DelaWHERE(?)
Status: offline 		Well....just to clarify....I live in a rented apartment and as far as I'm concerned it's my landlord's responsibility to fix things....not my guests.

But in this case I haven't really hounded my landlord about this because I don't close the bathroom door when I'm home alone anyway, so I don't even think about it being broken until I get a visitor. Then when they want to use the bathroom it suddenly pops into my head and I want to tell them quickly before they close the door and it's too late. So in the interest of getting the words out of my mouth quickly, I don't want to waste my time on the thought process of "Oh....he's a dom....not a vanilla friend....I have to remember to phrase this correctly and not "tell" him to do something" By the time I do that he's already shut the door and it's too late.

_____________________________

“Give it to me!” she yelled
“I’m so fucking wet! Give it to me now!”

She could scream all she wanted…..I was keeping the umbrella.

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Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Topping from Bottom? Really? - 11/1/2014 11:13:08 AM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline 		I'd let them suffer and just slide skittles under the door. Switching it up with an odd M&M just for the hell of it.

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to smileforme50)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Topping from Bottom? Really? - 11/1/2014 12:20:50 PM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

I'd let them suffer and just slide skittles under the door. Switching it up with an odd M&M just for the hell of it.


But wipe off the m and s- they'll never know if they're getting something fruity or chocolately.

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)
Profile   Post #: 60
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