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Can subs have a wish list? - 10/4/2014 3:58:26 AM

uksubmale31

Posts: 12
Joined: 10/7/2013
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I notice it is mostly dommes that seem to have them but i've been thinking of doing one myself.

I tend to date mostly older, dominant type women and they always seem to be buying me things and showering me with gifts, from my experience it is the dominant type that buys things for the sub, yet it seems to be the other way around on here.

What do people think?

Is a wish list for a sub a good idea?

Post #: 1

RE: Can subs have a wish list? - 10/4/2014 4:49:57 AM

freedomdwarf1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: uksubmale31

I notice it is mostly dommes that seem to have them but i've been thinking of doing one myself.

Not quite sure why you'd want to do that; it seems counter-intuitive to me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: uksubmale31
I tend to date mostly older, dominant type women and they always seem to be buying me things and showering me with gifts, from my experience it is the dominant type that buys things for the sub, yet it seems to be the other way around on here.

Your experience must be unique because most times it is the sub that buys gifts/tributes for the Dom/me.

ETA: When I was a lot younger, I used to 'service' several older women who were always glad of the attention and I was also given many 'gifts'.
However, since being in 'the scene' I have discovered that isn't 'the norm' in most circumstances in real life.

quote:

ORIGINAL: uksubmale31
What do people think?

Is a wish list for a sub a good idea?

Even if it were a good idea, I'm not sure you'd get many takers.

Just my

< Message edited by freedomdwarf1 -- 10/4/2014 5:08:15 AM >

_____________________________

“If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.”

George Orwell, 1903-1950

(in reply to uksubmale31)

Post #: 2

RE: Can subs have a wish list? - 10/4/2014 5:43:02 AM

smileforme50

Posts: 1623
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From: DelaWHERE(?)
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Sure....you can have a wish list.....I have things I "wish" to get from my Dominant. But as the submissive I don't "expect" them. Although, if I NEVER get any of them....I may start to question if I am with the right Dom for me.

"from my experience it is the dominant type that buys things for the sub, yet it seems to be the other way around on here."

Well....I don't have any experience with female Dommes....but I've only ever known one Domme who buys things for her male sub....and that's because she is the breadwinner and he is the domestic partner who either doesn't work or doesn't make as much money. But I think they are an exception....not the rule.

I've never been expected to buy things for a male Dom.....they usually buy things for me. But I have given some of them nice gifts.

_____________________________

“Give it to me!” she yelled
“I’m so fucking wet! Give it to me now!”

She could scream all she wanted…..I was keeping the umbrella.

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

Post #: 3

RE: Can subs have a wish list? - 10/4/2014 5:57:45 AM

inkedone

Posts: 155
Joined: 9/17/2014
From: Fritch Texas
Status: offline

In my opinion this would depend on the wishes for your Dom/Dommes something for your partner to suggest as to their wishes and not for something to take upon yourself to do. i speak only from my personal experience, but gifts as such are mainly at Sir's wishes and his liking not for me to influence. i think this is out the the norm. i also never expect material things from Sir, but more focused on pleasing Him and receiving the gift of service rather than material things. i also have never expected to receive material things from Sir, but have on several occasions bought things for Him or items that i knew would be to His liking.

_____________________________

inked
"Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were none".

(in reply to smileforme50)

Post #: 4

RE: Can subs have a wish list? - 10/4/2014 6:52:39 AM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
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From: Dante's Inferno
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quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50

Sure....you can have a wish list.....I have things I "wish" to get from my Dominant. But as the submissive I don't "expect" them. Although, if I NEVER get any of them....I may start to question if I am with the right Dom for me.

If you are questioning, I'll be honest, it's time for you two to share respectful dialogue.

quote:

Is a wish list for a sub a good idea?

Material things? No. You can put a list of your BDSM and vanilla interests and maybe express you enjoy being courted but then it turns into pay for play which for a lifestyle D like myself, it's tacky.
Take a look at my profile, those were gifts from my prior s's. I am currently giving an s a go but there have already been slight warning flags in the direction of effort on his part which honestly usually are basic gentlemanly things. His effort doesn't seem to be there yet he claims to want to please so we'll see.

inkedone, awesome.

< Message edited by GoddessManko -- 10/4/2014 7:01:29 AM >

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to smileforme50)

Post #: 5

RE: Can subs have a wish list? - 10/4/2014 8:07:22 AM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

Sure you can have a wish list---my list is simple--- I wish for a compatible dominant!

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to uksubmale31)

Post #: 6

RE: Can subs have a wish list? - 10/4/2014 8:09:23 AM

CaptR

Posts: 425
Joined: 4/25/2012
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Our income levels aren't the same in my household. However, that does not diminish the excellence with which my girl serves and manages our home. To expect bought items from her just wouldn't always be fair. She works full time and her contributions are in many ways the building blocks on the foundation I've lain that supports our household, regardless of income level. We both engage in gift giving which by the nature of the word is never expected but always lovingly (or lustfully) given and accepted. The wishes extend into what she/ we would like to experience together during play, vanilla life, etc.That being said, I support a "wish list" because I'm a terrible gift giver. Think of it along the lines of a bridal registry. I enjoy "gifting" and feel happy when I'm able to provide her with something she truly wants as she fulfills my wants and needs far beyond expectation.That doesn't mean she's going to love the XDm .45 ACP I just knew she couldn't live without! Wait who am I kidding, she's going to LOVE it! I'll take two please.
Suggested follow up thread; "Arming your submissive/ the pros and cons." ;-)

< Message edited by CaptR -- 10/4/2014 8:21:36 AM >

(in reply to uksubmale31)

Post #: 7

RE: Can subs have a wish list? - 10/4/2014 8:16:44 AM

ThirdWheelWanted

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Joined: 4/23/2014
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CaptR
Suggested follow up thread; "Arming your submissive/ the pros and cons." ;-)

This falls firmly under the heading of, how big an asshole are you? As big of one as I am, hell no! ;)

(in reply to CaptR)

Post #: 8

RE: Can subs have a wish list? - 10/4/2014 8:30:01 AM

CaptR

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Joined: 4/25/2012
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She logs an equal amount of range hours as I do and is a better shot with a pistol than I so I try to keep the "asshole" factor at a minimum. She did love the gift btw.

< Message edited by CaptR -- 10/4/2014 8:31:46 AM >

(in reply to ThirdWheelWanted)

Post #: 9

RE: Can subs have a wish list? - 10/4/2014 9:15:05 AM

Bhruic

Posts: 985
Joined: 4/11/2012
From: Toronto, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: uksubmale31

I notice it is mostly dommes that seem to have them but i've been thinking of doing one myself.

I tend to date mostly older, dominant type women and they always seem to be buying me things and showering me with gifts, from my experience it is the dominant type that buys things for the sub, yet it seems to be the other way around on here.

What do people think?

Is a wish list for a sub a good idea?

Sounds like you are asking permission to fleece older women. If you are comfortable being a young male whore, and they are comfortable paying you for your services, by all means... give them a list of your material requirements.

_____________________________

pronounced "VROOick"

(in reply to uksubmale31)

Post #: 10

RE: Can subs have a wish list? - 10/4/2014 11:05:28 AM

seekingOwnertoo

Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: uksubmale31

I notice it is mostly dommes that seem to have them but i've been thinking of doing one myself.

I tend to date mostly older, dominant type women and they always seem to be buying me things and showering me with gifts, from my experience it is the dominant type that buys things for the sub, yet it seems to be the other way around on here.

What do people think?

Is a wish list for a sub a good idea?

Post one ... then see your response.

Trust me, you will be begging Ladies then ...

_____________________________

Got my second paddle! Finally! :-)

Heck I had one in 2010 .. now in 2013 another! Yes you can say, i am just a gifted slow learner!

(in reply to uksubmale31)

Post #: 11

RE: Can subs have a wish list? - 10/4/2014 11:26:12 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I see no reason not to. Especially if you're one of those guys that are hard to buy for. You could put stuff on it and when someone asks what you want for your birthday, tell them you would love one of these items.

We're low tech here and tend to write stuff on a list on the fridge which makes Christmas shopping easier.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)

Post #: 12

RE: Can subs have a wish list? - 10/4/2014 11:58:31 AM

uksubmale31

Posts: 12
Joined: 10/7/2013
Status: offline

.

quote:

ORIGINAL: uksubmale31
I tend to date mostly older, dominant type women and they always seem to be buying me things and showering me with gifts, from my experience it is the dominant type that buys things for the sub, yet it seems to be the other way around on here.

Your experience must be unique because most times it is the sub that buys gifts/tributes for the Dom/me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: uksubmale31
What do people think?

Just my

Really?

From my experience the more dominant/assertive person always pays in every walk of life

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

Post #: 13

RE: Can subs have a wish list? - 10/4/2014 12:21:48 PM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: uksubmale31

Really?

From my experience the more dominant/assertive person always pays in every walk of life

Even if that were the case, do you really think women want to feel like they are buying your affection with "made in china" trinkets? That is romance to you? Think about it. The best things in life are free, like a hike or a conversation, my god, what has happened to the world? I'm sorry for the rant but wow.

quote:

Sounds like you are asking permission to fleece older women. If you are comfortable being a young male whore, and they are comfortable paying you for your services, by all means... give them a list of your material requirements.

Agreed.

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to uksubmale31)

Post #: 14

RE: Can subs have a wish list? - 10/4/2014 12:47:56 PM

uksubmale31

Posts: 12
Joined: 10/7/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

quote:

ORIGINAL: uksubmale31

Really?

From my experience the more dominant/assertive person always pays in every walk of life

Even if that were the case, do you really think women want to feel like they are buying your affection with "made in china" trinkets? That is romance to you? Think about it. The best things in life are free, like a hike or a conversation, my god, what has happened to the world? I'm sorry for the rant but wow.

I kind of agree but it is no different to the fin doms on here, so i dont see it as wrong

(in reply to GoddessManko)

Post #: 15

RE: Can subs have a wish list? - 10/4/2014 1:27:05 PM

smileforme50

Posts: 1623
Joined: 1/24/2013
From: DelaWHERE(?)
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50

Sure....you can have a wish list.....I have things I "wish" to get from my Dominant. But as the submissive I don't "expect" them. Although, if I NEVER get any of them....I may start to question if I am with the right Dom for me.

If you are questioning, I'll be honest, it's time for you two to share respectful dialogue.

???? Ummm....no....what I said was: I MAY start to question IF I am with the right Dom for me"

_____________________________

“Give it to me!” she yelled
“I’m so fucking wet! Give it to me now!”

She could scream all she wanted…..I was keeping the umbrella.

(in reply to GoddessManko)

Post #: 16

RE: Can subs have a wish list? - 10/4/2014 1:29:57 PM

seekingOwnertoo

Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: uksubmale31

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

quote:

ORIGINAL: uksubmale31

Really?

From my experience the more dominant/assertive person always pays in every walk of life

Even if that were the case, do you really think women want to feel like they are buying your affection with "made in china" trinkets? That is romance to you? Think about it. The best things in life are free, like a hike or a conversation, my god, what has happened to the world? I'm sorry for the rant but wow.

I kind of agree but it is no different to the fin doms on here, so i dont see it as wrong

AHHhhhhhhh .. gotcha ......

But if you are looking for real life, ignore Fin Dommes; and focus on real people. Specifically Dommes! LOL

You will find you have an opportunity to learn what a Lady might like from Her wish list ... as well as the opportunity to provide it.

And I mean a real Domme .. not fin domme's! LOL ...

Enjoy!

To add, I really don't read or respond to those with wish lists ... so guess you could say I am old ....

< Message edited by seekingOwnertoo -- 10/4/2014 1:36:54 PM >

_____________________________

Got my second paddle! Finally! :-)

Heck I had one in 2010 .. now in 2013 another! Yes you can say, i am just a gifted slow learner!

(in reply to uksubmale31)

Post #: 17

RE: Can subs have a wish list? - 10/4/2014 1:55:56 PM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50

Sure....you can have a wish list.....I have things I "wish" to get from my Dominant. But as the submissive I don't "expect" them. Although, if I NEVER get any of them....I may start to question if I am with the right Dom for me.

If you are questioning, I'll be honest, it's time for you two to share respectful dialogue.

???? Ummm....no....what I said was: I MAY start to question IF I am with the right Dom for me"

Point is still applicable.

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to smileforme50)

Post #: 18

RE: Can subs have a wish list? - 10/4/2014 3:03:00 PM

smileforme50

Posts: 1623
Joined: 1/24/2013
From: DelaWHERE(?)
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50

Sure....you can have a wish list.....I have things I "wish" to get from my Dominant. But as the submissive I don't "expect" them. Although, if I NEVER get any of them....I may start to question if I am with the right Dom for me.

If you are questioning, I'll be honest, it's time for you two to share respectful dialogue.

???? Ummm....no....what I said was: I MAY start to question IF I am with the right Dom for me"

Point is still applicable.

Applicable.....but pretty obvious, and something I would only say to someone I thought didn't know better.

_____________________________

“Give it to me!” she yelled
“I’m so fucking wet! Give it to me now!”

She could scream all she wanted…..I was keeping the umbrella.

(in reply to GoddessManko)

Post #: 19

RE: Can subs have a wish list? - 10/4/2014 3:35:45 PM

aphrodite5

Posts: 71
Joined: 8/5/2007
Status: offline

I don't see a problem with a sub having a wish list. Or anyone, for that matter. I wouldn't go flapping it in anyone's face before they initiate context (ie: I'd like to buy you something...) but other than that, I think it's fine. Why not?

If a Domme doesn't want to use your list, she doesn't have to. If a sub doesn't want to buy from a Domme's list, that's equally acceptable. Everyone has desires, and in an ideal world, we find the folk who match ours to share time with.

(in reply to uksubmale31)

Post #: 20

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