quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo

Goddess Manko,

You might use the thread below as a reference for Your proposed thread ... note both: "the discussion" and the number of Dominant Women posting

http://www.collarchat.com/m_2976113/mpage_1/key_Dominant+Women/tm.htm#2976113

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

All this wish list nonsense is what I call "bureaucracy", and it's getting in the way of MY playtime. New thread; "Lifestyle Female Ds, a dying breed? Can you blame them?"

quote:

For sure, subs can have a "wish list".

quote:

ORIGINAL: uksubmale31

I notice it is mostly dommes that seem to have them but i've been thinking of doing one myself.

I tend to date mostly older, dominant type women and they always seem to be buying me things and showering me with gifts, from my experience it is the dominant type that buys things for the sub, yet it seems to be the other way around on here.

What do people think?

Is a wish list for a sub a good idea?

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsDDom

Honestly, it is whatever you've negotiated with your Domme, be she older or younger. If you ask if it is appropriate to give a wish list OR if she says "give me your wish list", then do so.

That being said...

The one word you used in your post which changes the tone of the question was "date". If you are dating, aren't you just "doing the vanilla thing with an older woman" and not really in a dynamic with a older Domme?

Food for thought...and my

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

All this wish list nonsense is what I call "bureaucracy", and it's getting in the way of MY playtime. New thread; "Lifestyle Female Ds, a dying breed? Can you blame them?"

Yes, actually, I can.

But then again, I don't subscribe to the idea that my only pleasure in life comes with pleasing the person that I am with.

This is what I simply don't understand about *some* of the "D" mentality. It's not all about the "D". Were it that way, the "s type" wouldn't be needed...or the "s type" would simply be a mindless doll, with no thoughts or feelings of his or her own. If that's what someone wants, and can get it, more power to them...but rest assured, that's certainly not universal.

As an "s type", one of my biggest joys in life is having my D type take care of me. In return, I take care of him. But, never at the expense of WHO I AM. My D type will always know what my goals and dreams are-- overall, my "desire list"- both material and not. For me, if, over time, I don't see any of these things cross my plate, I WILL seriously reconsider the relationship. If he doesn't "get it", or is so wrapped up in his own "needs"...I'll move elsewhere.

For sure, subs can have a "wish list".

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko


OK, I was pretty obviously making a jest, but fine, Also I don't place value in material things but I get some people do. I'm not one of them though I possess many. I have had to rebuild my wardrobe several times, I just recently lost my phone. Letting material shit go to actually enjoy the fundamental parts of life has never been an issue for me. My s hopefully will be the same or go find someone else to buy the "made in china" crap. Write me a poem, pick me some flowers, I'm golden.

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug

Isn't that what it's all about...compatibility??

Insofar as your "jest"-- from the tenor of your other posts, I didn't take it as such. You obviously have your ideas of what you want in a submissive, and my comments were merely giving another view....from the submissive standpoint.

I've been around long enough to know what I want in a partner. Good health and stability are two fundamentals. But, for me, so is someone who doesn't believe that the world revolves around them. At the top of my "wishlist" is being able to curl up against my partner when I'm feeling like shit, and not having to say a word. That would, of course, require my partner to look past his own "needs" for the time being, and just be there. That is not a common trait in Doms that I've seen. Most that I have encountered are SO consumed with themselves that they might as well have a robot as a sub.

But, again, it's all about compatibility. I'm not going to say that what I want is what any "sub" should want....but by the same token, I'm also going to speak my mind when it comes to this. Take it, leave it, I don't give a shit.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko


Yes, OP was speaking about an "Amazon wishlist" sort of deal. We all have wish lists as far as compatibility. Maybe read through the thread more carefully rather than only my comments in relation to it. Might help.

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko


Yes, OP was speaking about an "Amazon wishlist" sort of deal. We all have wish lists as far as compatibility. Maybe read through the thread more carefully rather than only my comments in relation to it. Might help.

*sigh* Of course you're right "Goddess".

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko


Yes, OP was speaking about an "Amazon wishlist" sort of deal. We all have wish lists as far as compatibility. Maybe read through the thread more carefully rather than only my comments in relation to it. Might help.

*sigh* Of course you're right "Goddess".

Manko would suffice, and SO much more applicable. *smiles*

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsDDom

Honestly, it is whatever you've negotiated with your Domme, be she older or younger. If you ask if it is appropriate to give a wish list OR if she says "give me your wish list", then do so.

That being said...

The one word you used in your post which changes the tone of the question was "date". If you are dating, aren't you just "doing the vanilla thing with an older woman" and not really in a dynamic with a older Domme?

Food for thought...and my

Thanks for your comments MsDDom, I do have a comment about the issue of "dating" within a dynamic, so to speak. If I have met someone, and they are at a distance, I try to get to know term in a strictly vanilla sort of context, essentially dating. I want to know this person values me as a person first before proceeding.
I let them into my life slowly, tell them about my family, my goals, my dreams and how they play a part in it all.
If things click then hopefully we get to cohabitate and essentially I am able to explore the D/s side of the relationship which I feel in a long term relationship it should complement and add to it, not be the foundational part of it. If we both love kink, that for me is the quintessential but I want to be valued as well for when I'm being less D, because I need down time sometimes.
So there would have to be some level of patience on the s side, some somewhat vanilla protocols in just being a gentleman, which I love in both vanilla and s men, whether it's pulling out a chair or opening a door. I have no "eyes lowered" protocols and such. So the s would probably have to be a bit patient with me and be willing to "go the distance" time wise essentially. (Not too much time but I won't do a session right away for certain).