quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

You can't kidnap an unwilling partner and bullwhip them into an orgasm. However, you can take someone like you that that previously only "endured" pain for the emotional reward of his pleasure and teach them to embrace it for their own emotional pleasure... if you were open to learning. Which would mean you were motivated to do so and didn't already think you knew all there was to know about it so it couldn't be done.

The one thing we can agree on here is the "motivation to do so". Which in my mind, indicates that there is an inherent inclination toward masochism. Without that wiring, it's not going to work, no matter how spectacular the "teaching" is.

An issue that has come up with these threads has been the idea that "you can do this, if only you had the right partner". I believe that is a horribly unfair thing to teach women. And that's what precipitated my comments here. Yes, anyone "with the wiring" can be taught. I believe that we, as individuals, need to know ourselves enough to know what is and is not possible...and do ourselves the favor of not feeding into the idea that *any* woman can be taught to orgasm from having her breasts impaled with 12 inch needles.

To each their own. Have at it, so long as it's consensual. But, really, why is there a need to insinuate that *anyone* can be taught to enjoy pain in a sexual way?

quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

The G-spot definitely exists for me....
<snip>

Same for my OH too!!

All I can say for those 'scientific studies' that OD spouts, they must have had a very small sample of women.
Sounds like those L'Oreal hair colour adverts where they claim '73% of women prefer them'; but when you read the small print, their sample was only 293 women!!

My OH definitely has a 'G' spot and her clitoral orgasms are very different to her vaginal ones too - despite what Deranged is claiming that they are one and the same; they definitely are not!

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug

quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw



ETA- I realize she didn't directly say that. But I felt it was the undertone of that.

You are correct...that was the undertone (overtone?) of what I said.

I believe that any implication that lack of "sexual satisfaction" is because one didn't try enough is plain stupid. Or, it's a weird "submissive ego" that I just will never get...

LOL...really...because someone enjoys having their breasts impaled by needles makes them any sort of authority aside from what *they* like?

Yup, I will NEVER get that. Nor will I ever let someone go there with me. Fine, to each their own. Just don't imply that you have some sort of insider info that others of us don't. Because, you DON'T. You have found someone who is compatible with you. Why not leave it at that?

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

Shifty, your experience is why I get so angry at dominant men who believe they can 'teach' a woman to cum on command. Every woman is different, some are not able to orgasm at all, some only with clitoral stimulation, some at the drop of a hat.
I believe your current man set you up for failure. The more you tried, and worried about it, the less likely it was gonna happen.
I am sorry that this made you feel like a failure. You did NOT fail!!! He failed to understand that not every woman is able to do this.

quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw



I was actually refering to Samdarella's post (I just can never spell her SN right and feel bad, I hope I got it right this time), but I hear exactly what you are saying also and feel similarly.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetForDaddy

Maybe the clit is a different shape/longer in some women than others?

I find it so odd that in this day and age its still so mystical, even amongst women themselves.

I'd love to hear other womens thoughts.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetForDaddy

I only have clitoral orgasms, the clitoris has to be directly stimulated, it can be stimulated in a variety of ways but it has to be stimulated with some kind of rhythmic pressure. Isn't that the only place where the nerve endings are that make orgasm physically possible?

I have squirted, through masturbation and anal sex once but I don't consider that to be an orgasm. I think this was from the G spot being stimulated. It's an intense experience but not an orgasm as I know them to be. I hear some people describing them as an orgasm, does it feel different to some people than it does for me?

I think with vaginal orgasms (don't know because I never had one) the same nerve endings are being stimulated because the stem of the clit is being touched in some way? Maybe the clit is a different shape/longer in some women than others? If that is the case, wouldn't that mean that anal orgasms or any other type are a total myth?

I find it so odd that in this day and age its still so mystical, even amongst women themselves.

I'd love to hear other womens thoughts.

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ORIGINAL: SweetForDaddy
Thats a great picture, I wonder if its the same in every woman.

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ORIGINAL: outlier

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetForDaddy

Maybe the clit is a different shape/longer in some women than others?

I find it so odd that in this day and age its still so mystical, even amongst women themselves.

I'd love to hear other womens thoughts.

Not a woman but I can send you to a female physician who has done some work
which has caused a lot of people to rethink the clitoris.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/5013866.stm

Here is her home page.

http://www.dvomedia.com/HELENOC.htm

That information might help you to understand but most of all don't worry about it.
They are all good.

quote:


Dr. Helen O’Connell started to pave the way in the 1980s but doctors are still missing out in med school when it comes to the size and importance of the female clitoris and the damage caused to the internal structure of the clitoris during uterine surgery.

http://www.womenspleasure.net/the-clitoris.php This is a must read

Dr. O’Connell argued that the clitoris is much larger than normally believed. The larger part is hidden inside of the pelvic area. The external 'head' is attached to the internal body which is as big as the first joint of a thumb. The body is divided into the clitoral legs which could be as long as 3,5 inches and wrap around the vagina and the urethra, and like the penis, they swell with blood when aroused These two legs end above the anal muscle. You can touch them if you put you finger on the outer lips and press and move your finger a little. It is like the clitoral shaft but thinner.

Parallel with the clitoral legs are the clitoral bulbs which also are enlarged and increasingly sensitive by excitement. Dr. O’Connell emphasized that these bulbs, really are an embryologic part of the clitoris.

Furthermore there is erectile tissue surrounding the urethra, the urethral sponge. This tissue also swells with blood when aroused and is partly very sensitive (see further section on Female G-spot).

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ORIGINAL: shiftyw
...some people are just wired differently.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetForDaddy

shiftyw

Cant find the point, hehe, unbelievable really but that could be taken to be quite literal in a lot of people cases ;-) 25% is very sad indeed.

I don't feel pressured to come in a certain way at all really. I have in the past, some people see it as a bit abnormal if you don't achieve orgasm through penetrative sex. Thats the one of the reasons I started this thread, so people don't feel pressured or think they aren't normal because they don't. I didn't want to take the deepthroat thread any more off topic by adding to the orgasm discussion there.

I'm skeptical of any orgasm that isn't from direct stimulation of the clitoris or vagina really, I can only just grasp that women have vaginal ones. I wish the damn things were easier to describe. I've heard lots of people saying they have other types but I've never really heard one of those types being described.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ReinRaus

Hey, LittleGirlHeart. Do you know anything about the ASMR phenomenon? If you're interested, you can look that up on youtube and watch the videos. They seems really weird if you don't know experience the "scalp orgasm" tingly sensation as a reaction to certain sights and sounds, but I feel like it's possible you may be one of us who does. Some people who watch a person getting massaged or just touched gently get the same shudders. For others triggers include specific noises. The purpose of the videos is to trigger these things. I often will watch one if I can't sleep at night and it'll knock me out in 20 minutes from tingly bliss.

I had an ex who would convulse if I ran my fingers up and down his back ever so slightly. It was definitely amusing on my end feeling like I had an electric touch. ;)