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RE: Why the hate on bi men? - 10/30/2014 5:33:26 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Marini

I am terminally straight, and I just prefer a straight man.
No-judgement and certainly no hatred or dislike, just my preference.



I think that's fair enough, Marini. Me, equally, I tend to avoid women who are too conservative in their worldview for me. It's not limited to the issue of how they feel about bisexual men - that's just a part of it. It's nothing over which I have any control, unfortunately: I just find that the way they're wired just somehow dissipates my attraction towards them. I've had that experience a few times to date, I'm afraid. They and I just inhabit different worlds, I guess. There's no solution for it, I suppose: chemistry is just chemistry.

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Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Why the hate on bi men? - 10/30/2014 5:41:50 PM   
Marini


Posts: 3629
Joined: 2/14/2010
Status: offline 		GoddessManko, I did not take her to be judgemental at all.

Do you READ the profiles from women on here.
I can tell you for a FACT, than many of the straight Black women on here, state clearly in their profiles on HERE that they are not interested in bisexual men.

I mean you can always take a poll on the other side.

I dont seek anything wrong with pointing out that many bisexual women appear to often be more open to bisexual men.

I RARELY see a profile from a bisexual woman, stating she is ONLY interested in straight men.
Read the profiles, please.

Peace

_____________________________

As always, To EACH their Own.
"And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. "
Nelson Mandela
Life-long Democrat, not happy at all with Democratic Party.
NOT a Republican/Moderate and free agent

(in reply to GoddessManko)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Why the hate on bi men? - 10/30/2014 5:44:23 PM   
Marini


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Joined: 2/14/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer


quote:

ORIGINAL: Marini

I am terminally straight, and I just prefer a straight man.
No-judgement and certainly no hatred or dislike, just my preference.



I think that's fair enough, Marini. Me, equally, I tend to avoid women who are too conservative in their worldview for me. It's not limited to the issue of how they feel about bisexual men - that's just a part of it. It's nothing over which I have any control, unfortunately: I just find that the way they're wired just somehow dissipates my attraction towards them. I've had that experience a few times to date, I'm afraid. They and I just inhabit different worlds, I guess. There's no solution for it, I suppose: chemistry is just chemistry.


Thing is mate, I am more prone to be attracted to a gay couple.
As long as they don't mind a Black woman in the middle.
See, I met the cutest couple in San Fran, and they were so nice to me, I developed a crush on BOTH of them, and then I begin to fantasize, about being with them {And believe me, I do mean THEM} and even moving in....
I wonder how that would work?


To each their own, I am enjoying this thread.

< Message edited by Marini -- 10/30/2014 5:57:00 PM >

_____________________________

As always, To EACH their Own.
"And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. "
Nelson Mandela
Life-long Democrat, not happy at all with Democratic Party.
NOT a Republican/Moderate and free agent

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Why the hate on bi men? - 10/30/2014 5:58:40 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Marini

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer


quote:

ORIGINAL: Marini

I am terminally straight, and I just prefer a straight man.
No-judgement and certainly no hatred or dislike, just my preference.



I think that's fair enough, Marini. Me, equally, I tend to avoid women who are too conservative in their worldview for me. It's not limited to the issue of how they feel about bisexual men - that's just a part of it. It's nothing over which I have any control, unfortunately: I just find that the way they're wired just somehow dissipates my attraction towards them. I've had that experience a few times to date, I'm afraid. They and I just inhabit different worlds, I guess. There's no solution for it, I suppose: chemistry is just chemistry.


Thing is mate, I am more prone to be attracted to a gay couple.
As long as they don't mind a Black woman in the middle.
See, I met the cutest couple in San Fran, and they were so nice to me, I developed a crush on BOTH of them, and then I begin to fantasize, about being with them {And believe me, I do mean THEM} and even moving in....
I wonder how that would work?


I think I could have a great relationship with a gay man, I just have not sorted it out.
As long as I am the ONLY woman in his life.



Well, whatever. I'm not going to judge. What's the point? Each to whoever gets the old buzz buzzing, eh?

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Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Why the hate on bi men? - 10/30/2014 6:00:49 PM   
Marini


Posts: 3629
Joined: 2/14/2010
Status: offline 		I edited that post, I felt it was too over the moon.

Let people be with whomever they want, I just want honesty.

I have heard and read many stories, about those that hide who they are, and are not honest about their proclivities.

Be honest, and enjoy!

< Message edited by Marini -- 10/30/2014 6:05:06 PM >

_____________________________

As always, To EACH their Own.
"And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. "
Nelson Mandela
Life-long Democrat, not happy at all with Democratic Party.
NOT a Republican/Moderate and free agent

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Why the hate on bi men? - 10/30/2014 6:06:33 PM   
PeonForHer


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Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Marini

I edited that post, I felt it was too over the moon.

Let people be with whomever they want, I just want honesty.



True. There's enough of most people's sort of other people to go around. Some people are a drain on the spirit; others give it energy. It's just how things are.

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Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Why the hate on bi men? - 10/30/2014 7:52:12 PM   
FieryOpal


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quote:

ORIGINAL: xgender

Ya, stupid me, I tried to live vanilla and monogamously for the first 49 years of my life. And I've always been a very faithful partner (believe me on this one, lol), so no hedging my bets. Also, I love differently. I fall easily deeply and unconditionally. I also let go almost as easily. It makes me a good match for the poly lifestyle; along with the fact that I have a varied and voluminous sexual appetite - more than I believe can be met by one person...

Seriously, you've only been at this for just over a year thereabouts? (In your pic, you seem comfortable in your skin, so to speak.)

I have a feeling you can be quite a handful ... or two.

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Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Why the hate on bi men? - 10/30/2014 7:59:54 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/why-straight-women-and-bisexual-men-may-not-really-exist250912

"In physical response studies (using a recording tool called a penile plethysmograph), we find that self-identified straight men and self-identified gay men respond as you would expect with a category-specific response. So straight men are more aroused by watching footage of same-sex activity between women; gay men are more aroused by watching footage of same-sex activity between men.

'However 95% of of self-identified bisexual men are only aroused by the footage of same-sex activity between men, the remaining 5% are only aroused by the footage of same-sex activity between women.’"

Apparently RR, your experience is atypical.


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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Why the hate on bi men? - 10/30/2014 8:05:47 PM   
xgender


Posts: 78
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From: A psych ward east of the Mississippi
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

I have a feeling you can be quite a handful ... or two.





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Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Why the hate on bi men? - 10/30/2014 8:11:06 PM   
xgender


Posts: 78
Joined: 10/18/2014
From: A psych ward east of the Mississippi
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/why-straight-women-and-bisexual-men-may-not-really-exist250912

"In physical response studies (using a recording tool called a penile plethysmograph), we find that self-identified straight men and self-identified gay men respond as you would expect with a category-specific response. So straight men are more aroused by watching footage of same-sex activity between women; gay men are more aroused by watching footage of same-sex activity between men.

'However 95% of of self-identified bisexual men are only aroused by the footage of same-sex activity between men, the remaining 5% are only aroused by the footage of same-sex activity between women.’"

Apparently RR, your experience is atypical.



Wow, Des, I am so the opposite. I love bottoming men, but don't care to watch it...I'm good watching 2 women together. So that makes 2. :D

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RE: Why the hate on bi men? - 10/30/2014 8:24:18 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

Wow FieryOpal, really?
So now you are going to categorically label us as being biasedly inclined to bisexual men because we are bisexual ourselves? As if your opinion isn't just completely doused in prejudice and bias itself. I tried to ignore your sexuality bias but for some reason you are the greatest advocate against something that doesn't concern you at all. Nor do you have the scope of what ANYONE'S individual thoughts are on sexuality though self dubbing yourself an expert on something you know little to nothing about. Here is a bit of an epiphany for you.
Not all CDs, transgendered or sissies are at all inclined to those of their birth gender. Not all of them see themselves as feminine AT ALL. Some just enjoy the taboo like I do. You enjoy but a tiny drizzle of what I would consider kinky and of course a lot of our interests may seem "bizarre" or "out there" to YOU, but they work for us, and there's nothing at all wrong with that. You stick with your tiny little list of kinks and we'll stick with our array. I like being explorative AND a LOVING DOMME.
I noticed something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT than you did, the age gap of those more accepting of differing sexualities than those who are not. I am sure back when bisexuality was very tongue in cheek, many gay men hid in the closet and tried to work both sides of the fence to the best of their ability. Only to come out later as gay,totally believable. Harvey Milk was assassinated in San Fran for being gay only a few decades ago which is now the gay and millionaire mecca of the US.
Sub men are now faced with that "inner turmoil" currently where they somehow have this warped perception their submissive role is a "new concept" or something they cannot keep in the closet (or dungeon for that matter). It's not, people need to just respect each other's kinks and sexual preferences. It's promising the younger generation understand that overall. "Jus' sayin"- ET.

Why such the defensive tone? Do you think that I've never had any non-hetero male friends? A couple who are lesbian (not bi). My sexuality bias has to do with my OWN sexuality and that of my intimate partner. If I want a man who has 6 fingers and 6 toes, hypothetically, then that's my business. Being sexually discerning in one's tastes is the sole frontier where it is appropriate to make discriminating judgments, being true to the word itself. I would tend to think that each individual wants to be valued on his or her own merits and found desirable, not be the recipient of somebody else's pity fuck.

It's funny that you should mention kink level. I once semi-joked on a thread when LadyPact brought up the subject of a Fluffy Top, that that's what I could consider myself since I don't engage in sado-masochism. But neither do I disparage those who are into it -- It's just not for me, so why on earth would a masochist choose to be with me, and why would I choose a masochist who clearly should get matched up with a Sadistic Dominant?

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

RR & shifty, I would agree that there is a generational gap in terms of tolerance levels for male bisexuality. Younger women, like yourselves, might be more willing to consider having a bisexual male partner. Plus both of you are bisexual, and it would appear you have and have had partners who were not confused with their sexual orientation. I don't know where the cut-off point is or where women in their 30s fall in this spectrum, but straight women in their 40s (approximately) and up are not so tolerant of the idea of having a bisexual male partner.

^You must have overlooked reading this.^ (my Post#12) And this (my Post#23):
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

At the expense of sounding corny, though, I have no issue with whom anybody chooses to be happy with. By this, I mean that there is no impunity where love is concerned.... Love trumps all.

To be specific, love between and among fully consenting adults. A man and a woman. Two women. Two men. Whatever combination Triad. Closed-loop polyamorous households. Other than free will (exercised responsibly and soberly), freedom of choice (with eyes wide open), and fully informed consent (namely SSC), my emphasis is and eternally will be, on love.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to GoddessManko)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Why the hate on bi men? - 10/31/2014 8:10:21 AM   
HeartAndSoul31


Posts: 148
Status: offline 		I am not looking but I can give my personal input.

I am strictly heterosexual and require the same from a partner. It is a very personal view, but it is a turn off to me for a man to be attracted to other men, plus women. I don't mean for this to sound prejudice but I am sure it does and could be offensive to some posters or viewers, and I apologize if it offends, it isn't my intent. I want someone who is very clear on what gender they prefer. Since I am female, I want a male who wants and is attracted to women only. It is a preference based on beliefs of less chance of STD transmission, smaller percent of sexual partners, higher chance of compatibility on mutual belief system, just an overall better fit for me. Its all preferences each individual can make for themselves

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Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Why the hate on bi men? - 10/31/2014 8:42:36 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		There's something else which might explain a defensive tone.

When people state, or imply, that I am homophobic because I am not attracted to bi males or poly males or women, there's a hidden coercion there. Such as women in the military were forced to have sex with unwanted males to 'prove' they weren't gay.

I respond very badly to blackmail attempts, which is how I interpret this pressure.

My response is always that I don't owe anyone an equal opportunity fuck. I especially don't owe that to anyone else when to me it would be unwanted and coerced sex, which is rape.

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Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Why the hate on bi men? - 10/31/2014 9:02:37 AM   
GoddessManko


Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Marini

GoddessManko, I did not take her to be judgemental at all.

Do you READ the profiles from women on here.
I can tell you for a FACT, than many of the straight Black women on here, state clearly in their profiles on HERE that they are not interested in bisexual men.

I mean you can always take a poll on the other side.

I dont seek anything wrong with pointing out that many bisexual women appear to often be more open to bisexual men.

I RARELY see a profile from a bisexual woman, stating she is ONLY interested in straight men.
Read the profiles, please.

Peace


OK, Apparently you are PURPOSEFULLY overlooking her suggestive comment about MY sexuality, preferences and kinks because the prefix in my sexuality is BI rather than HETERO.
Your opine about the matter of her sweeping generalization means little to nothing to me since so many of you seem to believe bisexual men are all secretly gay. You are speaking on issues you know little to nothing about, giving examples from a time when men were less open with their sexuality and then making up MY MIND as to why I like the things I do or do the things I do.
Other women don't matter to me, and they shouldn't matter to you either. Neither should you try to wrap your mind around WHY I am open to bisexual men because it has little to nothing to do with my sexuality.
I know the difference between men and women. Most obviously, no matter how androgynous.

quote:

I dont seek anything wrong with pointing out that many bisexual women appear to often be more open to bisexual men.

I RARELY see a profile from a bisexual woman, stating she is ONLY interested in straight men.


LMAO, and that clearly is an indicator that bisexual women will be more inclined to bisexual men, yet straight women are not? So then all your friends who were married to bi men must have been bi themselves right? LOL.
Sit back and REALLY THINK about what you're saying. Because you might realize how offensive and ignorant it actually is one day, there's always hope.

quote:

My sexuality bias has to do with my OWN sexuality and that of my intimate partner. If I want a man who has 6 fingers and 6 toes, hypothetically, then that's my business.

Wow, good for you, now take that mindset and inject it into everyone else who don't need you making grandstand comments about why they are the way they are. For your information, I have only dealt with CDs who's hard limits are forced bi. Gee, I guess that makes me less bisexual now following your logic, LOL.

< Message edited by GoddessManko -- 10/31/2014 9:03:41 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Why the hate on bi men? - 10/31/2014 9:03:48 AM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla

I've got to say, I'm surprised at the consensus that bi men are typically gay. I guess my experience has been very atypical. Somehow I've been with quite a few bi guys who retained their taste for women.

Whether it's nature or culture (not getting into that debate), there ARE typical energies/expectations in a male/female dynamic, such that a woman looking for that male archetype isn't going to find it in a bi-man, whereas a bi-woman isn't as much a problem for a man looking for his girl.

You can call it a double-standard, I suppose -- I think it's a little more than that. But as others have noted, people have preferences, and you simply need to find those compatible with yours (and I know you know that already).

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Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Why the hate on bi men? - 10/31/2014 9:25:49 AM   
HeartAndSoul31


Posts: 148
Status: offline 		Technically aren't bi sexual individuals just that? Bi meaning two? Half gay, half straight?
It would seem logical to me that based on each individual preference who is bi, percentage wise some will swing or prefer one gender more.
Some being 60/40, 80/20 in example. Couldn't that percentage also change whether its being based on casual sex and/or relationships.


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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Why the hate on bi men? - 10/31/2014 9:30:29 AM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/why-straight-women-and-bisexual-men-may-not-really-exist250912

"In physical response studies (using a recording tool called a penile plethysmograph), we find that self-identified straight men and self-identified gay men respond as you would expect with a category-specific response. So straight men are more aroused by watching footage of same-sex activity between women; gay men are more aroused by watching footage of same-sex activity between men.

'However 95% of of self-identified bisexual men are only aroused by the footage of same-sex activity between men, the remaining 5% are only aroused by the footage of same-sex activity between women.’"

Apparently RR, your experience is atypical.



I remember reading this study which was done in 2005 http://www.nytimes.com/2005/07/05/health/05sex.html. At the time it caused a lot of controversy, particularly because those recruited for the study, were done so through gay-oriented publications.

Fortunately a much fairer study has been done since and this time, they were a lot more selective with the candidates.
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/23/health/23bisexual.html?_r=0 This new study, which btw was far more in depth than the 2005 one, prove that "real" bisexual men are not gays in denial and that male bisexuality is in fact very real.


< Message edited by MariaB -- 10/31/2014 9:32:07 AM >

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RE: Why the hate on bi men? - 10/31/2014 9:48:16 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

OK, Apparently you are PURPOSEFULLY overlooking her suggestive comment about MY sexuality, preferences and kinks because the prefix in my sexuality is BI rather than HETERO.... Neither should you try to wrap your mind around WHY I am open to bisexual men because it has little to nothing to do with my sexuality.

Your posted display of histrionics aside, the logical implication behind a bisexual female being tolerant of bisexuality in a male has to do with sharing an affinity that would be grossly hypocritical for a (non-Dominant) bi woman to NOT tolerate bisexuality in her partner while her own bisexuality is being tolerated or encouraged. D/s-M/s dynamics are not egalitarian in that sense. (I am acquainted with a bisexual Domme who exercises "Mistress' Right" in taking on a female sub in addition to her male sub, and will reward him from time to time by sharing her bisexual femsub with him as a sexual outlet for him. He is not bisexual, however, and she doesn't want a bisexual male sub either, from what I understand.)

You are taking the PoVs, which have been elicited by OP, of other posters here way too personally. By the same token, it should COME AS NO SURPRISE in an open and/or poly relationship for one poly partner to be willing to date or play with another poly partner. Ordinarily, it wouldn't be expected of a monogamous individual to be willing to get involved with a polyamorous person (although many male s-types do, since FemDom *customarily* doesn't offer them exclusivity, especially if cuckolding is on the table), knowing in advance that this person might want to continue to be non-mono, although I'm sure that that it does happen. We can't always help with whom we end up pair-bonding.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

LMAO, and that clearly is an indicator that bisexual women will be more inclined to bisexual men, yet straight women are not?

That would be the gist of the matter and of having a firm grasp on the obvious.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

Sit back and REALLY THINK about what you're saying. Because you might realize how offensive and ignorant it actually is one day, there's always hope.

You should take your own advice, and realize how offensive and ignorant your responses are. You are entitled to your opinion, but not as the self-appointed arbiter of others' observations and personal preferences.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

My sexuality bias has to do with my OWN sexuality and that of my intimate partner. If I want a man who has 6 fingers and 6 toes [on each hand & foot], hypothetically, then that's my business.

Wow, good for you, now take that mindset and inject it into everyone else who don't need you making grandstand comments about why they are the way they are. For your information, I have only dealt with CDs who's hard limits are forced bi.

Hm-mm, I don't recall warning any straight women to stay away from bisexual males. That would be their own choice.
And I have only known sissyCDs, with the exception of one friend of mine who is asexual, who label themselves as being bisexually oriented or bi-curious at the very minimum. Sorry to break the news to you, but it was being disseminated back in the '70s that cross-dressing and homosexuality were not mutually inclusive, so you're not the first person to present this information. Nevertheless, our experiences vary. Whooda thought?

[Edited for typo]

< Message edited by FieryOpal -- 10/31/2014 10:01:04 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Why the hate on bi men? - 10/31/2014 10:03:45 AM   
littleladybug


Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko
It's not, people need to just respect each other's kinks and sexual preferences. It's promising the younger generation understand that overall. "Jus' sayin"- ET.


Honestly, I've seen absolutely no difference between the "younger" and "older" generation in terms of acceptance of sexual preferences within the BDSM community. However, what seems to be missing in this conversation is the understanding of the distinct difference between *acceptance* of sexual preferences and wanting to be intimately involved with people with certain preferences.

Without a doubt, there has been a stigma attached to being a bi-sexual male over the years. Because of that history, should people be "more open" to being in a relationship with one? Personally, I would have a huge issue with finding out that my partner was with me because of some "guilt" that I was part of a marginalized group. Frankly, I think any difference between the "older" and "younger" generations comes with a lot of younger people having some confusion about what exactly it means to be "accepting" in this world.

Every single person who has responded on this thread has, from the best I can gather, done so from the standpoint of what they would personally want in a partner in a relationship, not from an overall "acceptance" of bisexuality. Surely, people have given their opinion as to why there seems to be a difference in what people want and desire in a relationship, but I have not seen where anyone has not shown respect for other's preferences. What others may read into it is a different story.

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Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Why the hate on bi men? - 10/31/2014 11:12:49 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

I remember reading this study which was done in 2005 http://www.nytimes.com/2005/07/05/health/05sex.html. At the time it caused a lot of controversy, particularly because those recruited for the study, were done so through gay-oriented publications.


Yep. Doesn't surprise me.

There's such a social stigma - even now - regarding bisexuality in men, that I could imagine only those men who were *very* into other men would self-identify as 'bisexual'. A man who, for instance, merely has the occasional fantasy about other men but rarely or never acts on it (much less take a long-term male partner) is much more likely to call himself 'heterosexual'. Well, what can one say? Some things change only really, really slowly.

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Profile   Post #: 60
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