quote:

ORIGINAL: subbiedude

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ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1

FR~

He asked this question, or something similar, in Feb 2013: http://www.collarchat.com/m_4387348/mpage_1/tm.htm

He has spent the better part of 18 months spinning his wheels.
He has been truly sucked in.

And, FWIW, given the nature of how the 'relationship' has been over that time, I honestly think the 'she' is a HE!!


To the OP: how did you let this go on for sooo long??
Most people would have sussed this out within a few emails or exchanges and certainly withing a week or two.
Sheeesh! You must be extremely naive or just a dumb clutz, or both.

True. After that incident, I had no interaction for a month or so, but then again I thought i may be wrong in putting forth demands as a sub, That i was asking her to cam or mic chat after chatting with her like for 3 months or so. i felt her reasons were may be genuine for not camming at that time, as it was just 3 months. She used to sound really sweet & Kind, The more i chatted with her, more feelings i had towards her, so these feelings would never let me go off her, The way she used to speak, her friendliness, really made me go crazy on her.....I felt she may eventually end up showing herself, or reward me for my obidience, thats how it went on streching for so long.....i am naive, i agree on that part...

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ORIGINAL: subrosaDom
I am highly skeptical. But there's an easy way to find out.

Write back to "her": Be straightforward. "It's been 18 months and you haven't been willing to talk to me, skype with me, send me pictures or meet me. Therefore, I have concluded that this cannot happen. I am moving on. If I am wrong, then talk to me AND send me pictures AND skype with me to video verify in the next week. I hope I am wrong. Otherwise, have a nice life."

That's it. Now, you will get one of three responses:

(1) No response. You have your answer.
(2) Most likely. Either a bunch of accusations saying you can't talk this way to a "Domme" or she calls you names or she says you deserve to die or more excuses OR agreement which then is not delivered on exactly within that week. Again, you have your answer. Note my ANDs. ORs are a fail. At this point, you require everything.
(3) Mirabile dictu. We're all wrong and she does all of the above and you live happily ever after.

It's pretty simple. Throw the gauntlet down. The onus is on "her" to prove she's what she claims. You know this time she gets no excuses. None. One week. Over and done.

I say this not just from a psychological perspective but as an experienced negotiator.

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ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

quote:

ORIGINAL: subrosaDom
I am highly skeptical. But there's an easy way to find out.

Write back to "her": Be straightforward. "It's been 18 months and you haven't been willing to talk to me, skype with me, send me pictures or meet me. Therefore, I have concluded that this cannot happen. I am moving on. If I am wrong, then talk to me AND send me pictures AND skype with me to video verify in the next week. I hope I am wrong. Otherwise, have a nice life."

That's it. Now, you will get one of three responses:

(1) No response. You have your answer.
(2) Most likely. Either a bunch of accusations saying you can't talk this way to a "Domme" or she calls you names or she says you deserve to die or more excuses OR agreement which then is not delivered on exactly within that week. Again, you have your answer. Note my ANDs. ORs are a fail. At this point, you require everything.
(3) Mirabile dictu. We're all wrong and she does all of the above and you live happily ever after.

It's pretty simple. Throw the gauntlet down. The onus is on "her" to prove she's what she claims. You know this time she gets no excuses. None. One week. Over and done.

I say this not just from a psychological perspective but as an experienced negotiator.

I respectfully disagree. Even if it is a woman, he has yet to even speak on the phone with "her". My friend is from a well respected family, he has been featured in the indiantimes and his mother is a famous neurologist yet we know more about each other than most. He's not "hiding" himself. This is not a cultural thing keeping her hidden. This is literally a pointless pursuit and regardless of it is a woman, time to move on. GET OUTSIDE AND GO HIKING. Get some fresh air, so smell some flowers. You need to get away from technology for a bit to clear your head OP. I have seen plenty of members from India on here so reach out to them. Or I can recommend a chat program where one of my friends there runs a webcam room with over 100 members in India in there at a time.
Still online, but better than this.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

quote:

ORIGINAL: subrosaDom
I am highly skeptical. But there's an easy way to find out.

Write back to "her": Be straightforward. "It's been 18 months and you haven't been willing to talk to me, skype with me, send me pictures or meet me. Therefore, I have concluded that this cannot happen. I am moving on. If I am wrong, then talk to me AND send me pictures AND skype with me to video verify in the next week. I hope I am wrong. Otherwise, have a nice life."

That's it. Now, you will get one of three responses:

(1) No response. You have your answer.
(2) Most likely. Either a bunch of accusations saying you can't talk this way to a "Domme" or she calls you names or she says you deserve to die or more excuses OR agreement which then is not delivered on exactly within that week. Again, you have your answer. Note my ANDs. ORs are a fail. At this point, you require everything.
(3) Mirabile dictu. We're all wrong and she does all of the above and you live happily ever after.

It's pretty simple. Throw the gauntlet down. The onus is on "her" to prove she's what she claims. You know this time she gets no excuses. None. One week. Over and done.

I say this not just from a psychological perspective but as an experienced negotiator.

I respectfully disagree. Even if it is a woman, he has yet to even speak on the phone with "her". My friend is from a well respected family, he has been featured in the indiantimes and his mother is a famous neurologist yet we know more about each other than most. He's not "hiding" himself. This is not a cultural thing keeping her hidden. This is literally a pointless pursuit and regardless of it is a woman, time to move on. GET OUTSIDE AND GO HIKING. Get some fresh air, so smell some flowers. You need to get away from technology for a bit to clear your head OP. I have seen plenty of members from India on here so reach out to them. Or I can recommend a chat program where one of my friends there runs a webcam room with over 100 members in India in there at a time.
Still online, but better than this.
Edited to add; By the way OP, marriage is a huge deal to your parents I am sure and this is something you should consider further. My friend's marriage was a "merger" of two companies but it was a part of his duty to his family. However, you wasted enough time on this faceless entity that I can't help but wonder if some inherent fear of committing to someone "vanilla" might be part of it.
I'm not saying you should commit yourself somewhere where you may not be happy, but I'm telling you, you may regret the decision not to in the long run. You can be married and still cater to your online fantasies virtually worst case scenario. Best case, you stop pigeonholing yourself into a relationship with text on a screen. "She sounds so sweet", no she doesn't. Get back to reality. In fact you have NO idea if she sounds like Barry White. Just my

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ORIGINAL: AAkasha



In this day and age how hard is it to send an audio file or skype anonymously with someone you care about to prove it?

Second, have you send ANY gifts or cash to this person?

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ORIGINAL: starkem

Ahhhhhh...the joys of being love. How sweet.

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ORIGINAL: starkem

Well that settles it! Dude it's a dude! I think you are getting some kind of kick out of all these responses. I would suggest that you consider that you are in love with yourself and masturbating, and attracted to persons that are emotionally unavailable, unrelenting cruel and aloof. I'm kind of into that myself. If it don't work out...cal me!

I'm willing to believe you're in love though, but you will have to give me some sign that your actions are not just words. It is easy for anyone to say they are in love. Prove it! By tomorrow's eve, I need a definitive answer on whether this is a woman (not that there is anything wrong if this is actually a man). Secondly, I need some type of confirmation from you that you have seen and spoken to this person by the deadline of tomorrow evening, or else I refuse to believe this sharade of stringing me along just as you are being strung along. Ain't nobody got time for this mess at the ending of 2014. Get your wits about you.

Thank you for your expedited cooperation in advance.

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ORIGINAL: subbiedude

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ORIGINAL: AAkasha



In this day and age how hard is it to send an audio file or skype anonymously with someone you care about to prove it?

Second, have you send ANY gifts or cash to this person?

No, She is not into that kind of stuff. She never asked for any cash or gifts.

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ORIGINAL: domguyindia

I read all the replies and your concerns and thought to give my 2 cents.

I agree to all the replies given which are asking you to move on. Anyone who reads your story can vouch for that. But you need to understand that we are in India which is a traditionally patriarch society and girls dont come out in open. I am not sure if you have shared your contact no or photographs with her as we are also brought up in this society and we males also dont want to be known as submissives out of our closet. Though I am myself a dom but in some of the fetlife events in Connaught Place I have observed this behaviour from submissive males. They dont want to be talked down upon.

To cut a long story short, your message points to a certain person living in Manipal. Thats just a wild guess though as I have interacted with so many people online and offline from India. If that is the case then you dont have to worry about Gender and being cheated as I have interacted with her myself and met her once. Unfortunately things didnt work out as she is seeking quite a submissive. As I said this is just my wild guess as I am not very sure whom you are talking about and it was quite matured of you that you didnt mention her profile details etc.

To be very frank marriage thing working out between you two seems to be a far cry as I believe you are thinking too much and too much in love with her without knowing her.

PM me if you want to discuss or ask something specific.

Take Care.

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ORIGINAL: subbiedude
Only she can clear this once & for all, which is exactly not happening & the crux of the problem.

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ORIGINAL: subbiedude

Quick Update.

Its been quite a while since I asked this question. I had sent the link to this thread to this person whom i have spoken about in my query. I wanted her to see the kind of replies. Since then I have never heard from her. She used to appear online always on google, but now, she appears always offline. I think she has either blocked me or invisible to me. I have not sent her any message either.

Its been quite difficult times for me. hope to get back to normal & move on. But it will definitely take some time....