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RE: I Need Encouragement... - 11/16/2014 11:12:45 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

Gauge, I am glad you started this thread. I respect anyone who asks for support especially since you are so supportive to everyone here.

I need support because I still am so shocked that I got cancer. Anger is more like it.

I used to tell people, whatever is going wrong, at least I don't have cancer!

And then somebody up there just laughed.

I find that I have only myself to rely on for emotional support because I don't like to burden friends, I feel like i have to reassure and hold up my parents and family, shrinks cannot really help and I don't have a badass/empathetic Dom right now.

So it's me, myself and I who has to make decisions, take of myself, laugh, cry, rage, despair, be calm and get over myself.

However, I will take prayers even though I am not religious!

Hang in there.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 11/16/2014 11:15:18 PM >

(in reply to Dvr22999874)

Post #: 21

RE: I Need Encouragement... - 11/17/2014 12:28:42 AM

DeviantlyD

Posts: 4375
Joined: 5/26/2007
From: Hawai`i
Status: offline

I am not religious at all. But I am spiritual. And I believe in other realms, in a higher plane.

For you to go through this alone though...wow...you are incredibly strong! I don't know if I could be. But I would strongly encourage you to lean on your family and friends, even a little bit. They want to be there for you. I know they would hate to think that you believe you are burdening them.

This forum allows only for virtual hugs and typed words, so that is all I can offer you in this post. *hugs* Yes, DO hang in there.

I remember talking to you a while back about the whole hair situation. On a smaller scale, I can relate. I hope you're at a stage where it's growing back! (It will you know.)

If you ever need to vent, scream, cry...contact me on the other side. Sometimes it helps and I would be happy to help if I can. :)

_____________________________

ExiledTyrant's groupie. Catering to his ego since May 26, 2007. :D

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 22

RE: I Need Encouragement... - 11/17/2014 12:35:12 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

I never lost my hair, it just got thinner. I used these things called cold caps.

My friends and family are there for me, but honestly? I rely more on a support site. Those women understand every emotion, as only they can.

You really do have to put on a front in order to be social.

My friend told me the other night, God no one on the planet would ever guess you have this. You don't look sick or sound sick and you are always funny.

That is how I would prefer people see me. In private I can be sad or angry. Not public, ever.

Thanks for your kindness and offer.

(in reply to DeviantlyD)

Post #: 23

RE: I Need Encouragement... - 11/17/2014 12:40:55 AM

DeviantlyD

Posts: 4375
Joined: 5/26/2007
From: Hawai`i
Status: offline

Cold caps? *colour me curious* (what else is new

)

I'm glad you found a good support site that you can rely on and that helps!

I guess I'd probably be anti-social. :P But I can't know because I'm not in your boots. So it's only supposition on my part.

Like I said...you're definitely strong!

_____________________________

ExiledTyrant's groupie. Catering to his ego since May 26, 2007. :D

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 24

RE: I Need Encouragement... - 11/17/2014 8:19:17 AM

shiftyw

Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline

Red- if I were in your shoes I would be a mess. I can't believe how strong you are about it on here. Shit, after my car crash, when my back was all fucked up I felt like it was word vomit and all I could talk about.
Your a really strong person, and while I'm sorry you are angry, I think you have every right to be angry and sad, wherever and whenever you need to be. I'm really glad you have found some folks to relate and listen to. You have been in my thoughts for a while, and will continue to be.

(in reply to DeviantlyD)

Post #: 25

RE: I Need Encouragement... - 11/17/2014 8:27:16 AM

LittleGirlHeart

Posts: 1427
Joined: 4/4/2013
Status: offline

just remember one day at a time.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

I need encouragement. I'm having a difficult time lately. I don't want to get specific, but I am having more down days than I am good ones. I am struggling to keep my chin up and to keep going... I know that I won't give up, but I am tired... so tired.

_____________________________

We'll fight, not out of spite
For someone must stand up for what's right
'Cause where there's a man who has no voice
There ours shall go singing

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 26

RE: I Need Encouragement... - 11/17/2014 12:50:29 PM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I need support because I still am so shocked that I got cancer. Anger is more like it.

I used to tell people, whatever is going wrong, at least I don't have cancer!

And then somebody up there just laughed.

I find that I have only myself to rely on for emotional support because I don't like to burden friends, I feel like i have to reassure and hold up my parents and family, shrinks cannot really help and I don't have a badass/empathetic Dom right now.

So it's me, myself and I who has to make decisions, take of myself, laugh, cry, rage, despair, be calm and get over myself.

However, I will take prayers even though I am not religious!

I am having a tough time responding to this, not because I don't know what to say, but because every time I write something it sounds like a myriad of platitudes.

It is terrible to have to to through something like this, to feel alone in doing so is even more difficult.

I have to tell you, that you should burden your friends, that is why we have friends, to share our lives with. Sure it may be fairly heady stuff with the cancer and all, but frankly, if they can't be supportive of you when you need it, then why do you have them as friends in the first place?

Answer this question: Would you be supportive of your friends if one of them came to you asking for support because they had cancer? If you answered yes, then there is no reason not to lean on your friends.

You are trying to be strong, and that is good, but frankly, you need a lift from those around you. Why not allow them to give it to you? Life is far too short to have to do everything on your own, sometimes we need help. They may want to help, but you aren't letting them.

You sound like a strong person, I am too, but never believe that you are above reaching out for help. The hard part is accepting it when it is offered because we aren't used to that.

Hang in there and fight like hell. If you need a boost, come on back here and I'll be more than happy to recharge your batteries.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 27

RE: I Need Encouragement... - 11/17/2014 1:16:05 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

Thanks, Gauge. Don't get me wrong. I have friends who are always asking me how I am and what they can do.

It is MY issue with not burdening them and my family. I guess its hard for people to understand that I choose not to air all my fears or sadness or anger on these people in my life because it is not a positive thing to do so. It is my normal, not theirs.

As I said, only people going through the EXACT thing on my support group site can have the patience to listen to all of the warts and all questions and thoughts that we have.

And, if I had a special guy in my life, you can be sure I would be crying on his shoulder alot

Of course if any of my friends have shit, and they do, I am always there to lend an ear. But they are like me, we discuss the bad stuff but know we have to go on so we move to laughter which is the best mediciine, after all.

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 28

RE: I Need Encouragement... - 11/17/2014 1:42:24 PM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Thanks, Gauge. Don't get me wrong. I have friends who are always asking me how I am and what they can do.

I understand.

quote:

It is MY issue with not burdening them and my family. I guess its hard for people to understand that I choose not to air all my fears or sadness or anger on these people in my life because it is not a positive thing to do so. It is my normal, not theirs.

Sure, I get that. I suppose that I am really and truly blessed with friends that I can talk about all of that with. Look, if your friends want to help, just let them. Have a good cry with them, talk about the fear, let them be friends. You do not have to bear this on your own. In the tough parts of my life, I have leaned hard on my friends... some could take it, others could not. Those that could not were not the friends I needed in my life. Perhaps it is simply a matter of admitting that you are struggling that is the tough part... especially if you are known as the "strong" one.

quote:

As I said, only people going through the EXACT thing on my support group site can have the patience to listen to all of the warts and all questions and thoughts that we have.

Because they can identify with the struggle. Your friends and family might be able to understand the struggle if you explain it to them.

quote:

And, if I had a special guy in my life, you can be sure I would be crying on his shoulder alot

Even though I am involved with someone, I do have a spare shoulder and good listening skills. Feel free to avail yourself of them in email. I will help wherever I can.

quote:

Of course if any of my friends have shit, and they do, I am always there to lend an ear. But they are like me, we discuss the bad stuff but know we have to go on so we move to laughter which is the best mediciine, after all.

Indeed. I have always told my friends, no matter what happens, if I can laugh, I am OK. If I stop laughing, then worry.

Never forget that you do have to go on. Attitude is everything through tough times, having a good one is better than any medicine.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 29

RE: I Need Encouragement... - 11/17/2014 3:59:56 PM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

Did I mention that Guage, our resident homophobic shithead, lit the path for me to fix my heater form hundreds of miles away?

Homophobic shithead or not, he's feckin awesome!

Thanks brudder

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 30

RE: I Need Encouragement... - 11/17/2014 5:14:19 PM

LittleGirlHeart

Posts: 1427
Joined: 4/4/2013
Status: offline

I am trying to sell my brand new clothing I out grew before I could wear. But not having any luck. I hate to just give away. I need the $ I am loosing hope they will sell.

< Message edited by LittleGirlHeart -- 11/17/2014 5:19:57 PM >

_____________________________

We'll fight, not out of spite
For someone must stand up for what's right
'Cause where there's a man who has no voice
There ours shall go singing

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)

Post #: 31

RE: I Need Encouragement... - 11/17/2014 5:55:21 PM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

LGH, try craigslist.

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to LittleGirlHeart)

Post #: 32

RE: I Need Encouragement... - 11/17/2014 7:31:10 PM

LittleGirlHeart

Posts: 1427
Joined: 4/4/2013
Status: offline

I listed a few things, I'll list the whole shebang when I'm not wore out:)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

LGH, try craigslist.

_____________________________

We'll fight, not out of spite
For someone must stand up for what's right
'Cause where there's a man who has no voice
There ours shall go singing

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)

Post #: 33

RE: I Need Encouragement... - 11/17/2014 7:33:21 PM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

Good girl

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to LittleGirlHeart)

Post #: 34

RE: I Need Encouragement... - 12/10/2014 2:24:52 PM

SavageFaerie

Posts: 4377
Joined: 12/3/2004
From: NYC
Status: offline

Thought I would take a gander and see who is around I remember and who isnt.

To my shock and delight Gauge was (hugs)

I quite the scene and just shut down that part of my life. My health to a huge hit but finally can have most of it under control

I can so relate to this thread as its a couple of months long reminder of probably the darkest period of my life. I suffer from bipolar 1, where there are little episodes of mania, but seem treating pneumonia in the hospital 4 times in 3 years, the steroids cause that side effect. Because of that bad things happened. It more of a ptsd sort of thing than just being reminded of what happened.

Since I left the scene, I lost every friend I had and still only 1 I can call my best friend but I haven't seen her in years,

So....yeah I could use some encouragement.

If anyone remembers me shoot me a message on the other side, I may check in now and then

_____________________________

Disclaimer:If its the wrong word or misspelled I blame on my fingers and brains refusing to interact.

(in reply to Dvr22999874)

Post #: 35

RE: I Need Encouragement... - 12/10/2014 2:35:59 PM

shiftyw

Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline

I don't remember you, but all my love and support, lots of hugs. I'm sorry that some left you behind, but I'm glad one stayed around. I hope you find what you're looking for and best of luck with your health.

(in reply to SavageFaerie)

Post #: 36

RE: I Need Encouragement... - 12/10/2014 3:18:36 PM

SavageFaerie

Posts: 4377
Joined: 12/3/2004
From: NYC
Status: offline

Many thanks thanks shiftyw

I have come to terms with if you have an obivious mental health problem and now health problems, you know who you friends are.

But then again I dropped of the face of the earth, so that didnt help

_____________________________

Disclaimer:If its the wrong word or misspelled I blame on my fingers and brains refusing to interact.

(in reply to shiftyw)

Post #: 37

RE: I Need Encouragement... - 12/11/2014 12:23:09 AM

ydd

Posts: 129
Joined: 10/27/2014
From: a special place of wine and music
Status: offline

SF, I do remember you from the old days, I would have been Pianogirl back then, probably. I am sorry you are going through a rough patch...I too tend to disappear when my health gets the worst of me. Keep you chin up girl......this too shall pass. Hugs.

_____________________________

the poster formerly know as yourdarkdesire

(in reply to SavageFaerie)

Post #: 38

RE: I Need Encouragement... - 12/23/2014 1:22:27 PM

shiftyw

Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline

I need encouragement another grandparent in the hospital, and a funeral for one on sat. And the nine million other things I have going on, I feel all my strength and fortitude is out. I'm perpetually on the verge of tears. I am physically a wreck from stress. We are rebuilding a building. The last three years has been one horrible thing after another and I love everyone around me and I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful for the good things too. But goddamn do I need a break. I am to the point where being in a coma for a week would feel like the best vacation ever. I am perpetually stressed. I'm trying to lose weight And make me time and do things for myself but it keeps getting railroaded by some emergency.

I can not take time off. I want to stop worrying about what I eat so it's off my plate, but don't feel I can for my own health. I want to be alone. I want a vacation alone. I don't want anyone to need me for a while week. I want to east and drink at my leisure and I want to fucking not put out any fires.

Throughout the last year from fucking hell, and this crazy building project, I single handedly increased our gross sales in mail order by 30%.

I am so spent I don't know how I'm going to make it through the next few days without a serious mental break. I am so irritated with the world and angry I can barely think straight.

I know I should focus on the positive and how awesome I am but right now optimism is too much to ask of myself.

(in reply to ydd)

Post #: 39

RE: I Need Encouragement... - 12/24/2014 9:50:19 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Hugs for shifty.

I know you can't schedule a vacation but can you take a half hour to yourself? Turn off the phone and take a short nap. Or read a favorite book in the tub. Listen to calming music or a relaxation tape.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to shiftyw)

Post #: 40

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