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UnholyBear -> RE: hazing new posters (12/11/2014 10:55:34 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant
quote:
ORIGINAL: GoddessManko
To elaborate further, someone is into knife play. Do we suddenly swoop down and tell them their kink is "wrong"? That to me, is between D and s. As long as it is consensual, their idea of sane and safe may differ from my own. I saw a woman on the other side with not only needles through her tied-up-til-red tits, but rods through her breasts themselves. I mean, if that is a peeve for everyone, the idea of "unsafe play" I understand. But what then? Am I supposed to tell an engineer who wanted me to modify him any way I wanted that he should conform to my desires? We always talk about people with more extreme kinks as if they are the ones bombarding us with their expectations and not the other way around. Just my perspective here. As far as the gun play, I agree with all of you, however, I could only politely give my opines to this individual and move on. There's no way I am going to define for someone else what their D/s relationship should be if it works for them and the sub consents. Can we stop acting like subs are these voiceless entities with no ability to decide who they will or will not submit to? That'd be awesome.
Frankly Goddess, I don't give a flying fuck whether or not somebody swoops down with me when I tell someone their kink is wrong. I explain why I think it's wrong and they can deal with it by coming up with a more rational argument or they can try throwing the "your kink is not my kink argument" my way. But...If you care to go back through the archives, you'll see I don't throw my opinion about the rightness or wrongness of something about lightly. Generally, it's reserved for things like gunplay...sexual activities with ums...mentally/emotionally/physically harmful .
If a Dominant wants to turn his submissive into a hucow and she wants to do it...why then, bless her little heart, go for it. However...as recently seen on another thread, the idea is a bit over the top for quite a few. No one said it was wrong...except for them. If a newbie submissive comes in here and says ALL submissives should bodyworship their dominant by licking the dominants asshole clean each night, I'd venture that she's going to get some disagreement over that proclamation, wouldn't you? And not just from the submissives. However...
If someone comes in here and says they make their submissive worship them by selling themselves to a different man or woman every weekend and tells us how she begs and pleads to stop, then cries in shame when it's all over, I'm going to opine that's wrong. Not just in terms of the legality but for a whole host of reasons.
Your kink may not be my kink and that's fine...But in my mind, not everything that can be done between two or more people should be.
Nicely stated CD.
For everyone else:
I also have to serious question how many times a newbie came onto these forums searching for answers to questions they legitimately need answered and they were automatically lumped into the wankers pile? face it, every one of us were newcomers and we didn't have the answers, we were ignorant to how to pose questions that came across as "normal" or "proper." We all started out with very little info and because of that, we do not have a solid basis to start from, so yeah naturally our questions/inquiries will be badly worded, incorrectly asked and obviously gives the first impression we have no damn idea what we are talking about.
Thing is.....when a newbie who asks questions regarding some extreme activity, the reality is most people will be giving their own opinions and thoughts to why they feel it can be a high risk activity. This is NOT forcing our beliefs onto another but advising the uninformed that what the newbie thinks they want carries risks that can/might range from mild to a medical emergency - nothing more. This is something which I myself struggle with each and every time I read a post from a person and not necessary a newbie on an activity that carries a high risk.
Let me ask each of you this regarding what I bolded in CD's quote:
Am I in the wrong not to offer an opinion to whether that activity is extremely risky due to potential health risks?
Am I wrong to offer my opinion to advise that person of the high potential risks involved based on my 15 years of training and education in high risk activities regarding STDs, especially since rimming is classified as a sexual activity?
Or do I simply refuse to offer advice and adopt the attitude of, "oh well, not my problem?"
Either way I am dammed if I say anything and I am dammed if I don't.
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