RE: hazing new posters

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ExiledTyrant -> RE: hazing new posters (12/9/2014 2:27:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 quote: ORIGINAL: GotSteel quote: I knew I was kinky before the internet, didn't know there were other people like me or that my sexual differences were harmless and completely achievable. Even after the internet it took me a good deal longer than it should have because I didn't even know I should be looking, that it was an achievable thing. So when people muster up the courage to come out of the closet here only to be told that their completely achievable kink is unachievable, dangerous and nobody wants that it saddens me because who knows how long it will take for those people to muster up the courage to look again. Why the hell do you care about what strangers have to muster up? How does this even affect you? Unless one of your kinks is to be the guy on the white horse who saves misguided kinksters from being hazed when they profess their all too often delusional fantasies. THEN I could see how you could spend such an inordinate amount of time and energy trying to "fix" the forums. Otherwise stop telling me and everyone else how to act. OUCH!!! Red, what was the safeword again?

shiftyw -> RE: hazing new posters (12/9/2014 2:44:00 PM)
I know one of the threads you're referencing is that goat milker thread. (covers nipples and boobs and cowers in fear in the corner) There was a huge and long debate on whether it was safe or not to induce lactation/use a goat milker, and so forth. What became clear to me was that, while it may be safe, really and truly not a lot of women are about to stick their tits in that. Really not a lot. I think you took everyone's "Fuck no, I'll stick his dick in it instead and see how he likes it" as a little harsh. To me though, really you are not using a goat milker on me ever, if you ask my opinion I'll tell that I think inducing unnatural lactation has most likely serious physical and I'm betting even worse emotional responses, and if you come near me with one...I'm GOING to knock you out, and that my opinion, and clearly the opinion of many women. Many didn't feel safe engaging in that- and that is what that poster asked. If a girl wants to stick her titties in a hoover- ok- but I'm betting this is a fantasy for a great deal of people, and I personally couldn't give advice to a guy wanting to purchase a goat milker in hopes of using it on a person, to me that is reckless advice. Is it probably possible without serious consequence? sure. Is it probably possible with a woman not getting paid a ton to be in the porno? I doubt it. Seriously. Do I feel its serious edge play? Yes. And I will stand by that opinion- cause if you stick my god damn tits in a mail chute- its MY body that faces the consequences of your fetish, and any time a fetish can do long term or permanent damage, I'm going to let you know, that you're going to have a hard time finding someone else into it.

GotSteel -> RE: hazing new posters (12/9/2014 3:13:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant BiTcH!!!! You will be nice to me!!!!! Signed Entitled Twat Dom Master Overlord Punisher Cootchie Owner Uber Dude Sir Jus sayin I'm disappointed in you for not having Master Bater in that signature ;P

ExiledTyrant -> RE: hazing new posters (12/9/2014 3:18:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GotSteel quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant BiTcH!!!! You will be nice to me!!!!! Signed Entitled Twat Dom Master Overlord Punisher Cootchie Owner Uber Dude Sir Master-Bater Jus sayin I'm disappointed in you for not having Master Bater in that signature ;P Wuchu talkin' bout, Willis?

GotSteel -> RE: hazing new posters (12/9/2014 3:53:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shiftyw I know one of the threads you're referencing is that goat milker thread. (covers nipples and boobs and cowers in fear in the corner) There was a huge and long debate on whether it was safe or not to induce lactation/use a goat milker, and so forth. What became clear to me was that, while it may be safe, really and truly not a lot of women are about to stick their tits in that. Really not a lot. This is another example of leaving off the "here" part of the statement. Hucow looks to have a decent community over on fet. Not as strong as gangbangs mind you but certainly thriving. quote: ORIGINAL: shiftyw I think you took everyone's "Fuck no, I'll stick his dick in it instead and see how he likes it" as a little harsh. I found that part particularly amusing as that's also a real thing people do. quote: ORIGINAL: shiftyw To me though, really you are not using a goat milker on me ever, if you ask my opinion I'll tell that I think inducing unnatural lactation has most likely serious physical and I'm betting even worse emotional responses, and if you come near me with one...I'm GOING to knock you out, and that my opinion, and clearly the opinion of many women. Many didn't feel safe engaging in that- and that is what that poster asked. Ask a vanilla women about being beaten with a cane and you'd probably get a statement very much like that, yet there are plenty of women who love it. quote: ORIGINAL: shiftyw If a girl wants to stick her titties in a hoover- ok- but I'm betting this is a fantasy for a great deal of people, and I personally couldn't give advice to a guy wanting to purchase a goat milker in hopes of using it on a person, to me that is reckless advice. Yours seems like the reasonable position to me, when one isn't at all familiar with a fetish informing other people how the fetish works...or more commonly around here that it doesn't...probably not a good plan. quote: ORIGINAL: shiftyw Is it probably possible with a woman not getting paid a ton to be in the porno? I doubt it. Seriously. Stumbled across one by accident the other day because she was also into chastity. quote: ORIGINAL: shiftyw Do I feel its serious edge play? Yes. And I will stand by that opinion- cause if you stick my god damn tits in a mail chute- its MY body that faces the consequences of your fetish, and any time a fetish can do long term or permanent damage, I'm going to let you know, that you're going to have a hard time finding someone else into it. I haven't picked up girls into that fetish (because it squicks me) so I can't say how hard it is but I will say it's surprisingly easy to find edge players, there are a number of very popular edges. Rope, estim and knife play immediately come to mind.

GotSteel -> RE: hazing new posters (12/9/2014 3:59:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shiftyw Personally- I've never had a good experience at a munch or educational event. I'm a BDSM pussy. I have limits coming out my ass. The last group of kinksters I hung with in NJ, basically all sucked this one doms dick, and then when I told him, politely, no you are not shoving a catheter from god knows where in me, he went around telling everyone some really nasty rumors, had a huge meltdown and him and his basically just berated me on fet until I left it all together. Lots and lots of "If you have limits you're not really into BDSM! You can't choose what you want to do! Thats your dom's job!" etc. etc. To me, the reception here was a lot better. So I guess its a matter of perspective. Damn I'm sorry to hear that, I know those communities exist but I've been fortunate never to encounter anything like that. The most I've seen peripherally is some poly drama.

GotSteel -> RE: hazing new posters (12/9/2014 4:03:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 Otherwise stop telling me and everyone else how to act. Considering the nature of this statement, do you find anything hypocritical about your telling me how to act?

GotSteel -> RE: hazing new posters (12/9/2014 4:19:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shiftyw I answered OP honestly, politely. He took offense. I really answered the question I felt he was asking though. And he flew off the handle at me. I think if what I said there is considered an attack...then really, its coddling. I don't want a poster who is going to throw a tantrum over stupid shit like that. And I felt the pile on there was a little appropriate because of his reaction to my innocuous suggestion. So seeing some other people's responses to this guy, that he's being actively hunted like Frankenstein's monster, does his overreaction to criticism make more sense?

Moderator3 -> RE: hazing new posters (12/9/2014 4:28:40 PM)
I'm sorry, but I had to remove a post that someone may have wanted to remain, but I could not leave it for reasons I cannot share because of privacy concerns. I am not trying to sway or direct the debate.

RockaRolla -> RE: hazing new posters (12/9/2014 4:51:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GotSteel quote: ORIGINAL: shiftyw I answered OP honestly, politely. He took offense. I really answered the question I felt he was asking though. And he flew off the handle at me. I think if what I said there is considered an attack...then really, its coddling. I don't want a poster who is going to throw a tantrum over stupid shit like that. And I felt the pile on there was a little appropriate because of his reaction to my innocuous suggestion. So seeing some other people's responses to this guy, that he's being actively hunted like Frankenstein's monster, does his overreaction to criticism make more sense? I'd hardly call my response "actively hunting." I don't seek out his posts. I don't stalk him. I saw he started a thread, thought the name looked familiar and checked his post history. I then realized this was a crazy dom and came to my own conclusions based on his past and present posts. When you act like that, your reputation precedes you.

RockaRolla -> RE: hazing new posters (12/9/2014 4:59:30 PM)
GS, where is it written that I must be courteous to someone I find repugnant? We're all adults here, and unpleasant conversations are a part of life. He has a right to require his subs to commit bodily harm or criminal acts in his name. I have a right to call him on stupid shit. As does everyone else. Yet your position is basically that I have to be nice to the newer people because they don't know how to communicate. (nevermind that the guy wasn't even new.) Last I checked, this was a kink-oriented forum for adults, not a daycare to coddle children with no social skills.

YouName -> RE: hazing new posters (12/9/2014 5:20:31 PM)
This thread took a (few) turn(s) and is stuck in the twilight zone now

GotSteel -> RE: hazing new posters (12/9/2014 6:27:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RockaRolla Yet your position is basically that I have to be nice to the newer people because they don't know how to communicate. (nevermind that the guy wasn't even new.) Last I checked, this was a kink-oriented forum for adults, not a daycare to coddle children with no social skills. I think there are a some gradations between coddling and your tone, don't you? Now I don't think he's requiring his subs to do anything at the moment, things fortunately sound well within the realm of fantasy. But it sure would have been nice if early on someone could have had a productive conversation about how fantasy and reality differ in important ways. Now after the snark and sniping I doubt he's going to listen to any of us and if he doesn't figure things out on his own before he stumbles upon a woman willing to meet him...somebody could really get hurt.

dcnovice -> RE: hazing new posters (12/9/2014 6:27:23 PM)
quote: GS, where is it written that I must be courteous to someone I find repugnant? Miss Manners, Emily Post, Amy Vanderbilt, and countless other guides to civilized life.

CreativeDominant -> RE: hazing new posters (12/9/2014 6:43:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shiftyw "I just want to say I don't think we have a clique problem on this board and some of us are just victims in the situation..." (for the record thats a joke from Mean Girls...back off lynch mob). Since I participate in what I think you are all talking about as "clique like behavior"- and I know it, and I'm not really sorry for it? and here's the because: I have people who I consider myself good friends with on this board. But I'm 900% open to bringing more people into the folds here. I try to greet a few people in intros a week- because of that. I wonder, if you aren't here to make "friends", thats fine, but if you have friends here- whats the problem with that? I mean...really if you're so egotistical to think that your sole purpose here is to be the almighty kink library with all the education giving powers- I mean- get over it. I'm a pretty soft bottom, and I never ever claim to be some great fountain of BDSM knowledge- I explain my experience or views to newbies if I feel like it or feel it relates...and then I post on other threads, mostly in other sections- with the bullshitting and the joking. As someone who was never accepted well at a munch and feels uncomfortable and triggered occasionally in public play- I rarely find suggesting "getting into your community" as a choice- but for me- it was actually a good way to find out OTHER groups- with my particular kinks in mind. Plus, now, not living in NJ. There is literally no scene up here... I really think most of my "clique" ( [8\|] ) tries to do that also- although I don't feel I can confidently speak for all of them. ~dreaming of soft, fluffy bottoms~[8D]

CreativeDominant -> RE: hazing new posters (12/9/2014 7:04:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RockaRolla I really don't understand the idea that communicating online is a skill that's completely different from communicating in the real world. It really isn't. And maybe that's the real problem here: new posters think that there are different rules for expressing yourself in a message board when you really just need to conduct yourself like you would in regular society. You'll see it all the time with messages on the other side. My inbox here and on Fet is flooded with guys who think that because we're on a kink site, the regular rules of engagement don't apply and it's perfectly acceptable to demand blowjobs and cam sessions. You mean it's NOT!!?! Damnit!!![:@]

CreativeDominant -> RE: hazing new posters (12/9/2014 7:16:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 And you are incredibly patient with this never ending topic. I will say the only thing I disagree with is that you can know all about a person from their posting style. I have spoken on the phone to people from here and they were very different than their online personas. You just need to be a good writer to be anyone you want. Mmmmmm...those eyes

GoddessManko -> RE: hazing new posters (12/9/2014 7:28:17 PM)
FR, Creative's perving is pretty damn hilarious. Do you ladies feel undressed yet?

CreativeDominant -> RE: hazing new posters (12/9/2014 7:53:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessManko FR, Creative's perving is pretty damn hilarious. Do you ladies feel undressed yet? God, let's hope so!!!! All we need now is the fluffy blonde. Woo-hoo!!! So...just got through reading through all this. I know there are different standards for behavior depending on which part of the forums you're in. I was having a little trouble in P and R. I thought that rather than just the usual rough and tumble. I was being subjected to something downright personal. I went to that luscious Mod 3 with it. Mod 3 wouldn't do as I asked but after speaking with the purple one....Mmmmmm purple....I realized 3 was right. I also realized I was dealing with an ass. Not you, Lovely 3...the poster in question. Personally, I try to be me. The redheaded wench can tell you that once I get going conversationally, I pretty much sound like I do here. Sometimes a way with words...Sometimes not. There was a poster on here who loved to talk about how much fun gunplay was...sticking a gun in his submissive's mouth, pussy, ass. I told him what I felt...that it was an idiotic thing to do unless he or she were independently wealthy so I and others didn't end up paying for their fun. My opinion, my perspective. He got a might upset and the next thing you know, I was being attacked by the " any kink you want to do is o.k. as long as there's consent" group. To which my reply was...and ever will be...no, it's not. When he and his group got more vociferous and less sensible, more opinions started coming out. It happens. He was a regular poster and not a newbie but I can tell you, a newbie posting that kind of idiocy probably wouldn't have gotten a very much nicer me. As someone else noted, it's not my job to coddle adults. Teach? Sure. But to encourage a thickheaded, possibly harmful idea? Not so much.

Moderator3 -> RE: hazing new posters (12/9/2014 8:34:03 PM)
I can be an ass. I guess it depends on the view. In any other section outside Feisty, I could have done something. I just couldn't there. I knew who you meant. [;)]

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