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How many people have you met? - 12/9/2014 7:57:43 PM   
smileforme50


Posts: 1623
Joined: 1/24/2013
From: DelaWHERE(?)
Status: offline 		So....once again, a question in another forum has prompted my off-center brain connections to start firing and sparked my curiosity on another topic.

Not surprisingly, yet another person was relating a story of a recent "not great" experience with someone they started talking to online. I hear these stories a lot....especially stories about being stood up, when it comes to meeting someone.

So I was wondering....

How long have you been using the internet as a way to help you meet people?
How many people have you actually met?
How many times have you been "stood up"?
Would you say that the majority of your experiences have been good, bad, or just neutral?
Is there anything you have learned..... and/or have you changed the way you relate to people from when you first started meeting them online>

_____________________________

“Give it to me!” she yelled
“I’m so fucking wet! Give it to me now!”

She could scream all she wanted…..I was keeping the umbrella.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How many people have you met? - 12/9/2014 8:10:36 PM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline 		Since I was 18.
I've met easily, easily 25 people from the Internet, for all sorts of things...
Never been stood up, but a guy did leave me in a restaurant alone like an asshole, but showed up for the date.
Experiences have been mostly good, I've met a handful of assholes, but that's happened in real life.
I'm less inclined to go above and beyond for people. I talk a lot to someone before meeting them, I no longer build up expectations of who they are in my head.

(in reply to smileforme50)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: How many people have you met? - 12/10/2014 6:46:12 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I met one. I'm still with him all these years later.
He's never stood me up but I did it to him twice. I got horribly lost each time.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: How many people have you met? - 12/10/2014 6:55:54 AM   
NookieNotes


Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50
How long have you been using the internet as a way to help you meet people?


Not just dating, since 1994.

quote:

How many people have you actually met?


116.

quote:

How many times have you been "stood up"?


3 times. Two were with people I literally spoke to that day, made a spontaneous date with, and never heard from again.

quote:

Would you say that the majority of your experiences have been good, bad, or just neutral?


About 50% good. 40% neutral. 10% gave me stories to tell hilariously at parties with much acting out and hyperbole.

quote:

Is there anything you have learned..... and/or have you changed the way you relate to people from when you first started meeting them online


I've always seen online as a simple extension of my reality. It took a while before I realized that others did not. That was eye-opening, but didn't really change my experiences.

I've always either had mostly excellent intuition, or I've been incredibly lucky.


< Message edited by NookieNotes -- 12/10/2014 6:56:13 AM >

_____________________________

Nookie
--
https://datingkinky.com

I Write! A few of my books on Amazon: http://amazon.com/author/msnnotes

(in reply to smileforme50)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: How many people have you met? - 12/10/2014 7:59:16 AM   
littleladybug


Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50


How long have you been using the internet as a way to help you meet people?


About 15 years or so.

quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50
How many people have you actually met?



Somewhere between 10 and 15.

quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50
How many times have you been "stood up"?


Just once. Wasn't a big deal though, had a nice meal and enjoyed myself that evening.

quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50
Would you say that the majority of your experiences have been good, bad, or just neutral?


Without a doubt, overwhelmingly good. I've had one very LTR start online, and have met other, great people on the way.

quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50
Is there anything you have learned..... and/or have you changed the way you relate to people from when you first started meeting them online>


I have learned to listen to my gut. And, I've also learned to let him "prove himself to me", especially when it comes to someone who doesn't live locally. If someone is sketchy about giving out information, I consider that a red flag. This has definitely worked for me.

(in reply to smileforme50)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: How many people have you met? - 12/10/2014 9:49:35 AM   
SweetForDaddy


Posts: 167
Joined: 5/17/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50
How long have you been using the internet as a way to help you meet people?


14 years

quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50
How many people have you actually met?


5, that seems a sad number :-) 4 from bdsm websites and 1 from a vanilla site.

quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50
How many times have you been "stood up"?


None

quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50
Would you say that the majority of your experiences have been good, bad, or just neutral?


Well, I had relationships with two out of the 5 people I met, the first for 10 years and another for 2 years but not all of that time was blissful happiness. The actual meetings have all been good.

quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50
Is there anything you have learned...and/or have you changed the way you relate to people from when you first started meeting them online>


From experience I have different questions nowadays probably, I know what I want and can provide in a relationship more.

< Message edited by SweetForDaddy -- 12/10/2014 9:52:13 AM >

(in reply to smileforme50)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: How many people have you met? - 12/10/2014 7:01:49 PM   
smileforme50


Posts: 1623
Joined: 1/24/2013
From: DelaWHERE(?)
Status: offline 		I actually first started talking to people online back in 1995. The first person I ever met IRL that I originally started talking to online I met in 2000....and we ended up in a vanilla relationship that lasted 10 years

From 2010 to now....I've probably met 20-25 guys.
I've never been stood up....well....one time I was supposed to meet someone and he didn't show up, but he called me an hour later (after our agreed time) explained what happened and asked for a second chance. The second time he did show up and we had a very nice evening and saw each other a few times after that but then his job moved him to DC.

I've never had a really bad experience, Most of them have been....neutral. Meeting....having pleasant conversation but then deciding there is no real chemistry. I have had several really good experiences and found some wonderful play partners and friends, a wonderful couple who are my mentors, and someone that I am working on a possible LTR with.

The biggest way things have changed for me from how they were 4 years ago is that I'm no longer talking to people looking for play partners. A year ago I started talking to them looking for a serious relationship. It's hard to describe, but it's a different attitude and mindset now.

_____________________________

“Give it to me!” she yelled
“I’m so fucking wet! Give it to me now!”

She could scream all she wanted…..I was keeping the umbrella.

(in reply to SweetForDaddy)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: How many people have you met? - 12/10/2014 7:36:26 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		No idea how long I have been meeting online.

No idea how many I have met. I would say it was a decent amount of men. :)

Never been stood up.

Some awful experiences, some deliciously hot ones, 2 long term relationships, some shorter fun ones and some blah dates. With me it's either awesome or awful, very few in between.

What I learned the most was if we don't click on the phone, I don't meet them. I don't wait too long before meeting because so many men build up fantasies about a woman and that is dangerous. I also stopped making dinner dates, sometimes I want to leave soon after meeting, so having a drink or coffee is better.

I consider online just another way to connect in the real world.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 12/10/2014 7:55:15 PM >

(in reply to smileforme50)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: How many people have you met? - 12/10/2014 7:41:19 PM   
InHisHeart


Posts: 630
Joined: 3/22/2014
Status: offline 		How long have you been using the internet as a way to help you meet people? I've met people from the net but never used the net with intentions of meeting anyone in person. Everyone I met were from message boards, not dating sites. A few of us became on-line friends and decided to meet.

How many people have you actually met? I've met 5 people total. 3 of them just as friends (1 male, 2 females) and we're still friends today, unfortunately one passed away 2 years ago. Met one for the occasionally FWB, fuck buddy, whatever you want to call it when he would come into town on business a few times a year. I met Master on a message board 8 years ago, met in person 7 months later.

How many times have you been "stood up"? Never

Would you say that the majority of your experiences have been good, bad, or just neutral? They've all been good.

Is there anything you have learned..... and/or have you changed the way you relate to people from when you first started meeting them online. No but I don't use the net with intentions to meet people.

_____________________________

I don't have a bucket list but my fucket list is a mile long.

I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.


(in reply to smileforme50)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: How many people have you met? - 12/10/2014 9:11:32 PM   
MissToYouRedux


Posts: 867
Joined: 1/23/2010
Status: offline 		I've been here for years (including this site's former incarnation obviously) and I've lost track of the number of males I've met from here. I'm friendly and it's only coffee to start. I don't see that as any big deal.

I can still count on one hand the number of males that have been no-shows. And while for the majority there just hasn't been the chemistry, there have been only two guys that were so ultra-creepy I wouldn't even allow them to buy me my coffee and made sure they drove away first.

More importantly, my long-term (multi-year) real-time subs/slaves from this site far exceed my no-shows. lol This site works for me.

_____________________________

- Miss Marie


(in reply to smileforme50)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How many people have you met? - 12/10/2014 9:14:45 PM   
DeviantlyD


Posts: 4375
Joined: 5/26/2007
From: Hawai`i
Status: offline 		How long have you been using the internet as a way to help you meet people?

I don't think I've ever purposely used the internet to meet people, it just worked out that way. I've been on the 'net longer than I care to admit. ;)

How many people have you actually met?

I think 14. It could be more. Not all kinksters, but a variety of people.

How many times have you been "stood up"?

Never.

Would you say that the majority of your experiences have been good, bad, or just neutral?

Most were positive.

Is there anything you have learned..... and/or have you changed the way you relate to people from when you first started meeting them online.

Despite the mostly positive, it was some of the last few meets that didn't go so well and have made me more cautious than I was before. I think the key, from my experiences, is to get to know the person a bit before plunging off into the deep. Then again, I met some pretty terrific people with only cursory e-mails, so it really can be random. My only advice is...don't let your curiosity get the better of you, like mine does me, and listen to your spidey senses. ;)


_____________________________

ExiledTyrant's groupie. Catering to his ego since May 26, 2007. :D

(in reply to InHisHeart)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: How many people have you met? - 12/10/2014 9:21:05 PM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline 		How long have you been using the internet as a way to help you meet people?
Since 15 yr old
How many people have you actually met?
Uncountable, probably in the hundreds
How many times have you been "stood up"?
Zero, I always have very indepth and meaningful conversations with people I meet up with, so being stood up is impossible to happen. It's no difference from choosing real life friends, you only bother with those you bonded with.
Would you say that the majority of your experiences have been good, bad, or just neutral?
I would say for me as a person who has always been very different in interests, hobbies from my peers within my IRL circle, the internet is a great place for me to meet people with similar interests as me. It made me feel less lonely knowing there are other people out there who likes things I like. And also help me form my own group of IRL friends that are into similar things as I that I regularly organize activities with.
Is there anything you have learned..... and/or have you changed the way you relate to people from when you first started meeting them online
Nope, it has always worked perfectly for me. What I love about meeting people through the internet is that we can cut through all the small talk bullshit and go straight to point, which is my talking style, very off putting IRL when meeting people in IRL social situations, where you got to warm them up slowly, that's why the internet works so well. And I get to simply ignore people who attempts to small talk me.

But if you are specifically referring to CS experience, I have only met one dude from here before in my life, and he was a predator whom I lodged a police report against and he got deported from my country. Other than that, I never get to meet quality people from CS, but from everywhere else, even Craigslist, it has been good, IRC used to the best place for me to meet like-minded people. I'm referring to meet for IRL, but for just online friendship due to distance, plenty of great people in CS. There would definitely be a few folks we would have already met if not for being oceans apart.


< Message edited by Greta75 -- 12/10/2014 9:36:21 PM >

(in reply to smileforme50)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How many people have you met? - 12/11/2014 12:36:43 AM   
ydd


Posts: 129
Joined: 10/27/2014
From: a special place of wine and music
Status: offline 		I have met a handful of people from this and other sites. What I have learned the most, is don't. With the exception of one Dom from here, who has become a very good friend, every other meeting was a disappointment. I have learned that I am much happier maintaining my fantasy of what a person would be like in real life, rather than dealingewith the disappointment of reality. That being said, I am very happy in my marriage, and am not looking for a relationship of any length. Online friends to chat with from time to time is all I am after.

_____________________________

the poster formerly know as yourdarkdesire

(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How many people have you met? - 12/11/2014 4:31:07 AM   
smileforme50


Posts: 1623
Joined: 1/24/2013
From: DelaWHERE(?)
Status: offline 		I know that this survey is a microscopic sampling, but I find it interesting how if you read people's profiles on the other side, they talk as if 90% of the meetings they attempted never happened because they got stood up and the other person never showed. Yet....from the people here, it happens very very rarely. So I wonder what the reality is.

_____________________________

“Give it to me!” she yelled
“I’m so fucking wet! Give it to me now!”

She could scream all she wanted…..I was keeping the umbrella.

(in reply to ydd)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How many people have you met? - 12/11/2014 11:24:10 AM   
ivone57


Posts: 279
Joined: 1/23/2005
Status: offline 		I have never met anyone from this site offline BUT I did meet a lot of people off of bondage.com when it was up and running.... everyone was just as they portrayed themselves to be ... but then I was just looking for friendship and not to play...



_____________________________

ivone

Property of WhipHer

(in reply to smileforme50)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How many people have you met? - 12/11/2014 11:49:28 AM   
DerangedUnit


Posts: 660
Joined: 2/23/2007
Status: offline 		How long... dont remember, a couple dozen, 90% of guys of this site dont show up so I put very little stalk into talk about meeting they either do or don't... waiting 30 minutes at a coffee shop you would have gone to anyways is easier than calling them a liar, let them prove it to themselves. Then they wont keep sending messages. Most have been nuetral I guess, I like new things and dont consider much negative on that note most I also know wont work fairly quickly and tend to degrade into me getting kidnapped, beaten, them throwing tantrums and crying.... but in the end I succeeded in being able to find exactly what I want and all of those failures offered pieces toward that.

(in reply to ivone57)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: How many people have you met? - 12/11/2014 2:38:04 PM   
YouName


Posts: 271
Joined: 10/22/2014
Status: offline 		Cool topic. I've met about a dozen too. Mostly very cool peeps who'm have shared their homes with me and I with them.
(I don't Count meeting peeps like for a public event or friends of friends on social networks and what not)

It's given me a great perspective on Life!
From a revolutionary to those who dabble in dark things to a most wonderous opera performer.
I've been stood up once. But for quite reasonable reasons. Our two types don't mix. But I thought that the years online would've built enough trust between us. Apparently not.

< Message edited by YouName -- 12/11/2014 2:42:23 PM >

(in reply to DerangedUnit)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: How many people have you met? - 12/11/2014 2:41:03 PM   
YouName


Posts: 271
Joined: 10/22/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

How long have you been using the internet as a way to help you meet people?
Since 15 yr old
How many people have you actually met?
Uncountable, probably in the hundreds
How many times have you been "stood up"?
Zero, I always have very indepth and meaningful conversations with people I meet up with, so being stood up is impossible to happen. It's no difference from choosing real life friends, you only bother with those you bonded with.
Would you say that the majority of your experiences have been good, bad, or just neutral?
I would say for me as a person who has always been very different in interests, hobbies from my peers within my IRL circle, the internet is a great place for me to meet people with similar interests as me. It made me feel less lonely knowing there are other people out there who likes things I like. And also help me form my own group of IRL friends that are into similar things as I that I regularly organize activities with.
Is there anything you have learned..... and/or have you changed the way you relate to people from when you first started meeting them online
Nope, it has always worked perfectly for me. What I love about meeting people through the internet is that we can cut through all the small talk bullshit and go straight to point, which is my talking style, very off putting IRL when meeting people in IRL social situations, where you got to warm them up slowly, that's why the internet works so well. And I get to simply ignore people who attempts to small talk me.

But if you are specifically referring to CS experience, I have only met one dude from here before in my life, and he was a predator whom I lodged a police report against and he got deported from my country. Other than that, I never get to meet quality people from CS, but from everywhere else, even Craigslist, it has been good, IRC used to the best place for me to meet like-minded people. I'm referring to meet for IRL, but for just online friendship due to distance, plenty of great people in CS. There would definitely be a few folks we would have already met if not for being oceans apart.




Exacly! I do not understand how people keep complaining about being stood up, damnit!
The one time it has happened to me, well...I can't post it here but I completely accept it. Had I been someone else or he someone else it would not have been safe at all.


I think perhaps people want to meet up a bit too fast online. Then again the old type of communities and msn-like chats are gone too so the long chats into the wee hours of the night while doing something else on the computer are kinda gone, peeps tend to chat in *chunks* now. The old communities where you gathered around something you had in common and learned to know each other over a long time of interaction are gone too.
Ah, the fucking golden age of the internet, RIP. There's still the underground part but I've been gone so long that I've lost all the cool passes :(

*Sadness*



< Message edited by YouName -- 12/11/2014 2:53:53 PM >

(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: How many people have you met? - 12/11/2014 2:49:58 PM   
smileforme50


Posts: 1623
Joined: 1/24/2013
From: DelaWHERE(?)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DerangedUnit

How long... dont remember, a couple dozen, 90% of guys of this site dont show up so I put very little stalk into talk about meeting they either do or don't... waiting 30 minutes at a coffee shop you would have gone to anyways is easier than calling them a liar, let them prove it to themselves. Then they wont keep sending messages. Most have been nuetral I guess, I like new things and dont consider much negative on that note most I also know wont work fairly quickly and tend to degrade into me getting kidnapped, beaten, them throwing tantrums and crying.... but in the end I succeeded in being able to find exactly what I want and all of those failures offered pieces toward that.


Interesting....

_____________________________

“Give it to me!” she yelled
“I’m so fucking wet! Give it to me now!”

She could scream all she wanted…..I was keeping the umbrella.

(in reply to DerangedUnit)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How many people have you met? - 12/11/2014 3:33:07 PM   
ThirdWheelWanted


Posts: 391
Joined: 4/23/2014
Status: offline 		How long have you been using the internet as a way to help you meet people?

At least 20 years, I met my late wife on AOL back when they still charged by the minute

How many people have you actually met?

I'm not sure exactly, but I'd have to say it's dozens. Maybe 50 or so.

How many times have you been "stood up"?

I can only remember 2 where we got to the meeting place and they never showed. If you count times where we'd been talking for a while and then the person just vanishes with no explanation, quite a few.

Would you say that the majority of your experiences have been good, bad, or just neutral?

Mostly positive, some neutral, a few horrible.

Is there anything you have learned..... and/or have you changed the way you relate to people from when you first started meeting them online.

I've gotten much better at spotting fakes for who they are before they can waste too much of my time. Some are better then others, but you can usually feel when someone is being evasive.

(in reply to smileforme50)
Profile   Post #: 20
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