RE: loving and caring Dommes?

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RE: loving and caring Dommes? - 8/2/2006 8:32:16 PM

MySweetSubmssive

Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
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It's so useful to hear others say that they struggle with the perceptions of others that they are "too nice."

I progress along as a dominant in fits and starts, sometimes influenced by what submissives expect, but always trying to listen to my own inner voice. What I've found is that I am happiest when I can move from interest to respect to affection to domination. When I like someone, I tend to dominate with more of myself, and it's a juicier experience. The road there, though, is circuitous. I tend to ask submissives lots of questions to get to know him, and most are not about D/s. Impatient people (or those that can't trust the process) get antsy. Some will eventually say that I'm not dominant enough. But for those who stick it out, it's a good experience.

When submissives question me or tell me I'm "not dominant enough," I can feel a little crazy. But when I follow my instinct (and he follows), it *always* works out. Things are good.

One of the things I want most from a submissive is surrender, just letting go of his desires so I can experiment. I know this is the hardest thing to do, to submit when it looks like nothing is happening. But it's this very act of being OK with something that doesn't look like domination that makes what he wants possible. It's when someone makes me feel all soft and fuzzy inside that my dominance is courted. Or to paraphrase a Buddhist saying (and Jasmyn, I noticed), "The first step in attaining something is to abandon it completely." If a submissive wants dominance, s/he should be willing to accept what's given.

This likely is not useful for anyone to read, but it helps me to express it. A thought-provoking thread. Thank you.

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RE: loving and caring Dommes? - 8/2/2006 8:41:08 PM

PhDslave

Posts: 74
Joined: 9/24/2005
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i find the loving, caring Ones most appealing and feel no attraction for cruel, mean ones.

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RE: loving and caring Dommes? - 8/2/2006 9:00:19 PM

joyinslavery

Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PhDslave

i find the loving, caring Ones most appealing and feel no attraction for cruel, mean ones.

Hey PhDslave!

I totally get that but put me down for cruetly.

Well, unless they're TOO cruel. In which case, put me down for loving and caring.

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RE: loving and caring Dommes? - 8/2/2006 9:30:45 PM

MistressSassy66

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I can be cruel without even knowing it...have to watch out for that...

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Post #: 44

RE: loving and caring Dommes? - 8/2/2006 11:32:00 PM

UtopianRanger

Posts: 3251
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quote:

And my grinning and giggling like a maniac when I'm hurting you? LOL

Nah....Physical pain is no biggy at all

In the big scheme of things {In all facets of the relationship - not play}cold, non-caring closed-off women are just like dead fish - They belong locked in a freezer { Or we can send them to a therapist for help

}. I don't get that feeling from you at all though.

- R

< Message edited by UtopianRanger -- 8/2/2006 11:42:59 PM >

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Post #: 45

RE: loving and caring Dommes? - 8/3/2006 10:04:51 PM

MistressMynx

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Joined: 6/22/2006
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I love to tease, torture and tame My slaveboi. I also love to soothe and love him afterwards as a symbol of My loving power and dominance over him. I enjoy My cruelty as does he, but I see many shades to a D/s relationship 'tis a pity some only see the black and white. My time with My slave would be most unsatisfying if there was no after care to each step along O/our journey together.
MM

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Post #: 46

RE: loving and caring Dommes? - 8/3/2006 10:29:12 PM

SignorinaC

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Joined: 6/23/2006
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Quote from Lady Hugs: Novice dominant women, who haven't taken the submissive role first, have no idea what after care means or does for the submissive after their scene. So, they just don't know to do it. And, it is far worse when submissives don't after care their dominant partners after the scene. However, rarely do dominants 'gripe' that submissives do their part to after care a dominant.

I am a Novice Dominant Woman, however I do think that I would be a tender woman after a sesssion which culminates. Why? Because no matter what the level of intensity, or how we actually decide to express ourselves (and I am referring only to sex at this point), we are human beings...and we must have the maturity as well as the capacity to express our satisfaction with a sub...or at least, that is how I see it... Once I hit real time, I would hope that this will continue to be true, for me.

Interesting takes ladies and gents...

The Future and Hopeful Signorina C

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Post #: 47

RE: loving and caring Dommes? - 8/3/2006 10:38:01 PM

MistressMynx

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Joined: 6/22/2006
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Indeed SingnorinaC, I have never been submissive but I have always viewed aftercare as crucial, it is so important to Me that the once I ran out of time to complete it found Myself suffering Top Drop later. I am a harsh Bitchka Humiliatrix but also a loving genuine lifestyle Mistress who respects those that are allowed to be at Her feet. Simple theory but so true - respect should be on both sides of the leash.
I wish You well with Your journey....
MM

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Post #: 48