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RE: Is asking for appreciation considered topping from ... - 2/19/2015 12:38:39 PM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
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The way to screen for this is easy. If you can't have a good conversation with your partner, things won't work LT. If she has good conversational - people skills, the rest just falls into place.

If you want to be someone's slave, on the other hand, things might be completely different. You might spend all your spare time in the barn or dungeon and be reprimanded for having needs.

(in reply to crumpets)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Is asking for appreciation considered topping from ... - 2/19/2015 1:03:49 PM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant


quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant
... and she starts barking orders in Klingon... you are fluent in Klingon, aren't you?


Yikes!... .Quick! How do you say "Not that otherwise lovely superior quality hollow edge roast beef slicer!" in Klingon?


Qem 'oH!


You'll need a little more vocabulary than that, so I'm going to do you a solid.

Anytime she asks you to do something say this: Ghobe' http://www.kli.org/tlh/sounds/ghobe%27.au

If she asks if you are into pain, say this: Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam http://www.kli.org/tlh/sounds/Heghlu%27meH.au

If you do any kind of play, when she asks if you're okay, say this: bIjatlh 'e' yImev http://www.kli.org/tlh/sounds/bIjatlh.au

And the Klingon safe word is always: Hab SoSlI' Quch! http://www.kli.org/tlh/sounds/HabQuch.au

That'll get ya started.

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Is asking for appreciation considered topping from ... - 2/19/2015 1:29:22 PM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant
Qem 'oH!


Wow. Klingon is so quintessentially succinctly elegant!

All that, in just two syllables?

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Is asking for appreciation considered topping from ... - 2/19/2015 1:33:13 PM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets


quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant
Qem 'oH!


Wow. Klingon is so quintessentially succinctly elegant!

All that, in just two syllables?


Uhhhh... yeah... precisely precise language. Uh huh, yep, she'll understand completely.

I mean, really, would a sadist like me steer your wrong?

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to crumpets)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Is asking for appreciation considered topping from ... - 2/19/2015 1:42:29 PM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy
If you can't have a good conversation with your partner, things won't work

That's good, for starters, but, even when the conversation goes seemingly well, you still might not be the right fit for the job.
For example, if I find someone, who is easy to talk to in the vanilla world, whom I have a lot in common with, who can teach me how to serve her, as she likes to be served - yet - yet... there is no appreciation for having done so ... then it's just a bad fit.

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy
If you want to be someone's slave, on the other hand, things might be completely different.

We may be straying off topic, but I don't think I said I wanted to be an unappreciated slave.
An appreciated slave would be nice, although I prefer to think of the task as being a malleable trainable servant devoted to her happiness, which, when fulfilled, she will bestow appreciative praise, in return, even if it's only a tussle of my hair or a softer spank on my buns than normal.

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy
You might spend all your spare time in the barn or dungeon and be reprimanded for having needs.

Understood. Luckily, I consider this endeavor a VOLUNTEER activity; hence, I'm only in it for the enjoyment it gives to someone else, and, the quid pro quo is simple appreciation of my focus on her pleasure.

I wonder if I can express all of that, in eloquent Klingon?

(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Is asking for appreciation considered topping from ... - 2/19/2015 2:05:20 PM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant
I mean, really, would a sadist like me steer your wrong?


Whew. I'm so glad you're providing this trusting and malleably compliant soul such good well-meant advice, as Honest John and the Coachman gave to Pinocchio.

Of course, if Bita is the qintessentially caring and loving Blue Fairy, how come her profile says, verbatim, things like ...

  • "Testing the limits of the flesh..."
  • "Politically Incorrect, Possibly Illegal..."
  • "Limits; seems an iffy sort of topic at best..."
  • "Just hold your breath through the sane parts..."
  • "recognizing the difference between limits and impossibilities..."
  • "How can a slave be trusted? Ever?..."
  • "realizing that circumstances alone may render any limit immediately moot..."
  • "Never fuck with a menopausal sadist..."
  • "expanding the limits of the mind..."
  • "There's room for darkness in power .."
  • "Without the shadows, there is no unknown..."
  • "gentle and tender thoughts ... are ... not the relationship ... which feeds the beast..."
    etc.

    Ummm... once I learn proper Klingon from my good friend Honest John here ... I'll be able to handle Bita, the Blue Fairy?
    Umm. Right?

    (in reply to ExiledTyrant)
    • Profile   Post #: 46
    RE: Is asking for appreciation considered topping from ... - 2/19/2015 2:19:03 PM   
    ExiledTyrant


    Posts: 4547
    Joined: 12/9/2013
    From: Exiled
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: crumpets


    quote:

    ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant
    I mean, really, would a sadist like me steer your wrong?


    Whew. I'm so glad you're providing this trusting and malleably compliant soul such good well-meant advice, as Honest John and the Coachman gave to Pinocchio.

    Of course, if Bita is the qintessentially caring and loving Blue Fairy, how come her profile says, verbatim, things like ...

  • "Testing the limits of the flesh..."
  • "Politically Incorrect, Possibly Illegal..."
  • "Limits; seems an iffy sort of topic at best..."
  • "Just hold your breath through the sane parts..."
  • "recognizing the difference between limits and impossibilities..."
  • "How can a slave be trusted? Ever?..."
  • "realizing that circumstances alone may render any limit immediately moot..."
  • "Never fuck with a menopausal sadist..."
  • "expanding the limits of the mind..."
  • "There's room for darkness in power .."
  • "Without the shadows, there is no unknown..."
  • "gentle and tender thoughts ... are ... not the relationship ... which feeds the beast..."
    etc.

    Ummm... once I learn proper Klingon from my good friend Honest John here ... I'll be able to handle Bita, the Blue Fairy?
    Umm. Right?


    • Just existential musings to prompt intellectual discourse, naturally.


    _____________________________

    Gnothi Seauton
    To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

    Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

    (in reply to crumpets)
    Profile   Post #: 47
    RE: Is asking for appreciation considered topping from ... - 2/19/2015 2:44:08 PM   
    BitaTruble


    Posts: 9779
    Joined: 1/12/2006
    From: Texas
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: crumpets

    Understood. Luckily, I consider this endeavor a VOLUNTEER activity; hence, I'm only in it for the enjoyment it gives to
    someone else, and, the quid pro quo is simple appreciation of my focus on her pleasure.

    I wonder if I can express all of that, in eloquent Klingon?


    Klingon with a Joisy accent? Hmmmmmmmmm.. maaaaaaaybe .. yeah.. yeah. I can see it..sorta.

    Can you sing opera? We can take it to Broadway. Hell, it's sooo good it might go global.. no.. NO! I have it! YOU TUBE!

    "VIRAL VIDEO PRESENTS" sorta shit.

    (Just in case anyone was wondering if I am a sadist in real life, too. Now you know.)

    Anyway, I think you got this.. ugh.. and another change of plans for Saturday. One of the band members just checked himself
    into rehab - no lead guitar so the live music was scrubbed.. still, pot luck, bring an eat or whatever and we'll enjoy the new side
    patio and I can introduce you to Lord Varuna (it's okay to call him Vern.. he's kinda stoic though and spits a lot but I think you'll
    like him. :D)

    On a more serious note.. when you want your focus to be on a lady who wants your focus.. that'll be a win. Wait for that. :)

    _____________________________

    "Oh, so it's just like
    Rock, paper, scissors."

    He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


    (in reply to crumpets)
    Profile   Post #: 48
    RE: Is asking for appreciation considered topping from ... - 2/19/2015 5:24:22 PM   
    BitaTruble


    Posts: 9779
    Joined: 1/12/2006
    From: Texas
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: crumpets


    Ummm... once I learn proper Klingon from my good friend Honest John here ... I'll be able to handle Bita, the Blue Fairy?
    Umm. Right?

    First.. ::sigh:: I'm an elf not fairy. Second... it's not Blue...it's BLACK and Blue ... please do not color block me because
    I'm already pissed at the fashion industry for vanity sizing especially after the shopping disappointment I had yesterday.

    As for learning Klingon from Honest John up there.. if you believe that's in your best interest.. then have at it!

    He's a sadist. He'll chuckle.

    You'll notice that I did not mention getting 'handled' because, well, that's something we will discuss on Saturday.. m'kay?

    Worry. :D







    _____________________________

    "Oh, so it's just like
    Rock, paper, scissors."

    He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


    (in reply to crumpets)
    Profile   Post #: 49
    RE: Is asking for appreciation considered topping from ... - 2/19/2015 5:29:25 PM   
    DandyBoy11


    Posts: 8
    Joined: 2/15/2015
    From: New England
    Status: offline     		Genuinely sorry to cut in on Klingon theory and discourse.

    I'd like to ask if perhaps a way to get validation while still being a bottom is to ask "Do I make you happy, master/mistress/Am I pleasing you, master/mistress?" or would that be easily seen as a ploy to fish for compliments/topping from the bottom. Obviously, depends on the dynamic, but I would think tops would love hearing that. Rhetorically, that phrasing is beautiful, validating the bottom's concern for their partner's pleasure, while at the same time creating an opportunity to be validated.

    (in reply to BitaTruble)
    Profile   Post #: 50
    RE: Is asking for appreciation considered topping from ... - 2/20/2015 1:59:31 AM   
    NookieNotes


    Posts: 1720
    Joined: 11/10/2013
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: DandyBoy11

    Genuinely sorry to cut in on Klingon theory and discourse.

    I'd like to ask if perhaps a way to get validation while still being a bottom is to ask "Do I make you happy, master/mistress/Am I pleasing you, master/mistress?" or would that be easily seen as a ploy to fish for compliments/topping from the bottom. Obviously, depends on the dynamic, but I would think tops would love hearing that. Rhetorically, that phrasing is beautiful, validating the bottom's concern for their partner's pleasure, while at the same time creating an opportunity to be validated.


    This might work, depending on the top. For me, it would feel a bit silly, but then anyone who gets that far with me will know that while I stand on very particular protocols, that flowery crap ain't it.

    LOL!

    However, if you wan to know if you're pleasing, asking is a good bet.

    _____________________________

    Nookie
    --
    https://datingkinky.com

    I Write! A few of my books on Amazon: http://amazon.com/author/msnnotes

    (in reply to DandyBoy11)
    Profile   Post #: 51
    RE: Is asking for appreciation considered topping from ... - 2/20/2015 3:47:04 AM   
    crumpets


    Posts: 1614
    Joined: 11/5/2014
    From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: DandyBoy11
    Am I pleasing you, master/mistress?"


    This is a genuinely good idea, I would think, if (and that's the if that matters), if the Domme feels that this is appropriate.
    If so, it's a great idea!
    Thanks.

    (Let's see what the Domme's think about it...)

    (in reply to DandyBoy11)
    Profile   Post #: 52
    RE: Is asking for appreciation considered topping from ... - 2/20/2015 7:19:30 AM   
    ExiledTyrant


    Posts: 4547
    Joined: 12/9/2013
    From: Exiled
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: BitaTruble


    quote:

    ORIGINAL: crumpets


    Ummm... once I learn proper Klingon from my good friend Honest John here ... I'll be able to handle Bita, the Blue Fairy?
    Umm. Right?

    First.. ::sigh:: I'm an elf not fairy. Second... it's not Blue...it's BLACK and Blue ... please do not color block me because
    I'm already pissed at the fashion industry for vanity sizing especially after the shopping disappointment I had yesterday.

    As for learning Klingon from Honest John up there.. if you believe that's in your best interest.. then have at it!

    He's a sadist. He'll chuckle.

    You'll notice that I did not mention getting 'handled' because, well, that's something we will discuss on Saturday.. m'kay?

    Worry. :D








    You should listen to her. I got your back ;)

    Jus sayin

    _____________________________

    Gnothi Seauton
    To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

    Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

    (in reply to BitaTruble)
    Profile   Post #: 53
    RE: Is asking for appreciation considered topping from ... - 2/20/2015 8:38:11 AM   
    GoddessManko


    Posts: 2257
    Joined: 3/6/2013
    From: Dante's Inferno
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: crumpets


    quote:

    ORIGINAL: DandyBoy11
    Am I pleasing you, master/mistress?"


    This is a genuinely good idea, I would think, if (and that's the if that matters), if the Domme feels that this is appropriate.
    If so, it's a great idea!
    Thanks.

    (Let's see what the Domme's think about it...)



    That's a reasonable and direct question that would open the door for some candid feedback. I think it is one worth asking, especially if you sense contention.

    _____________________________

    Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

    http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

    The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

    (in reply to crumpets)
    Profile   Post #: 54
    RE: Is asking for appreciation considered topping from ... - 2/20/2015 4:38:45 PM   
    DandyBoy11


    Posts: 8
    Joined: 2/15/2015
    From: New England
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: NookieNotes



    This might work, depending on the top. For me, it would feel a bit silly, but then anyone who gets that far with me will know that while I stand on very particular protocols, that flowery crap ain't it.

    LOL!

    However, if you wan to know if you're pleasing, asking is a good bet.


    Well, thank you for putting into words my reservations about the exact phrasing of the question, haha. I mean, knowing people are happy is the only appreciation I need, but I think a part of a good dynamic is the dominant throwing the sub a bone every once in a while, and one potential bone could be some unsolicited appreciation :P

    (in reply to NookieNotes)
    Profile   Post #: 55
    RE: Is asking for appreciation considered topping from ... - 2/21/2015 3:20:09 AM   
    NookieNotes


    Posts: 1720
    Joined: 11/10/2013
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: DandyBoy11


    quote:

    ORIGINAL: NookieNotes



    This might work, depending on the top. For me, it would feel a bit silly, but then anyone who gets that far with me will know that while I stand on very particular protocols, that flowery crap ain't it.

    LOL!

    However, if you wan to know if you're pleasing, asking is a good bet.


    Well, thank you for putting into words my reservations about the exact phrasing of the question, haha. I mean, knowing people are happy is the only appreciation I need, but I think a part of a good dynamic is the dominant throwing the sub a bone every once in a while, and one potential bone could be some unsolicited appreciation :P


    Oh, don't get me wrong. Appreciation is CRITICAL in my relationships.

    My Pet's love languages are Touch and Words of Affirmation. That means that to make him feel loved, verbal appreciation is a BIG deal. And even better if I can tell him how amazing he is while touching him.

    No matter how long a relationship lasts, "please" and "thank you" are a part of the dynamic.

    BUT, if someone was not sure about my appreciation, asking would be a good tact to take with me. Just without silly (to me, it may work for others, I'm more pragmatic) language. *smiles*

    _____________________________

    Nookie
    --
    https://datingkinky.com

    I Write! A few of my books on Amazon: http://amazon.com/author/msnnotes

    (in reply to DandyBoy11)
    Profile   Post #: 56
    RE: Is asking for appreciation considered topping from ... - 2/24/2015 1:37:36 PM   
    crumpets


    Posts: 1614
    Joined: 11/5/2014
    From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
    No matter how long a relationship lasts, "please" and "thank you" are a part of the dynamic.


    I don't need the "please"; but the "thank you" in some way, shape, or form, is a de ri·gueur hard limit of mine.
    It's good to know that this is acceptable and common practice.

    (in reply to NookieNotes)
    Profile   Post #: 57
    RE: Is asking for appreciation considered topping from ... - 2/25/2015 5:36:19 AM   
    MariaB


    Posts: 2969
    Joined: 4/3/2007
    Status: offline     		I'm another one who shows appreciation but I don't go OTT with it.

    I have a good friend who has been in a long term relationship with her slave. She treats him like an "it" and never shows him appreciation. He's a hairdresser and make-up artist who once did my hair and make-up for me. His Domme whispered in my ear before he started, "remember he's an "it"!! I found it really difficult showing him no appreciation. I mean, he did an amazing job with my hair and its probably the best its ever looked but telling him that would apparently of disappointed him . For me that's really difficult. I was raised to always show good manners and let people know when I'm pleased about something they've done for me. From walking age to adulthood I was reprimanded if I didn't do so and so treating a submissive/slave like an "it" is the most unnatural thing in the world for me.

    I do believe some of the newer dominant types; the ones who are still a little green behind the ears; think this is how they should interact. Whilst it works for some, it doesn't work for others but like others here have said, most dominants appreciate knowing what sort of dynamic you want.

    _____________________________

    My store is http://e-stimstore.com

    (in reply to crumpets)
    Profile   Post #: 58
    RE: Is asking for appreciation considered topping from ... - 2/25/2015 5:38:29 AM   
    MariaB


    Posts: 2969
    Joined: 4/3/2007
    Status: offline     		Added to say, self worth isn't only important for the submissive, its equally important for the dominant.

    _____________________________

    My store is http://e-stimstore.com

    (in reply to MariaB)
    Profile   Post #: 59
    RE: Is asking for appreciation considered topping from ... - 2/25/2015 6:14:57 AM   
    ExiledTyrant


    Posts: 4547
    Joined: 12/9/2013
    From: Exiled
    Status: offline     		It puts the styling gel in the hair or it gets the flogger again.

    I can see it.

    _____________________________

    Gnothi Seauton
    To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

    Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

    (in reply to MariaB)
    Profile   Post #: 60
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