-=50 Professionals, Why They Hate '50 Shades Of Grey'=-

-=50 Professionals, Why They Hate '50 Shades Of Grey'=- (Full Version)

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ResidentSadist -> -=50 Professionals, Why They Hate '50 Shades Of Grey'=- (2/17/2015 11:24:03 AM)
My favorite comment is: "Believing Fifty Shades is an actual BDSM experience, is like believing Star Trek is actual space travel." Here is a selection of comments from the article : 50 Adult Stars And Professional Fetishists On Why They Hate 'Fifty Shades Of Grey' at least we can use the word, ‘Greydar’ now! You wouldn't learn to drive by playing Grand Theft Auto, and you shouldn't learn BDSM by watching Fifty Shades. Fifty Shades ignores these critically important aspects of the lifestyle in favor of glamorizing rape and predatory behavior. It's not a BDSM novel. It's 'The Ultimate Guide' to revoking all the hard work sex-positive sex educators have done over the past 30 years The idea of kinky sex getting more mainstream airtime is great. It's just a pity the story does a terrible job of explaining the difference between abuse and BDSM. The Fifty Shades movie could not be more clueless about consent, which makes it exactly the sex movie that America deserves Fifty Shades of Meh We know the sex is unrealistic (Simultaneous orgasms every time? Please!), the relationship unhealthy (No, you can’t change your manipulative partner!), and their lifestyle is unrealistically lavish (Charlie Tango, anyone?) I really wish E.L. James had gone with her original concept: an erotic Twilight fan fiction. The stories would be so much more entertaining with werewolves and vampires I find Fifty Shades very problematic on many levels. Gray is not a 'Dominant' in any sense of the word I liken FSG to a Harlequin Romance of which I have read many, and I can assure you they are all over the top fantasy porn with a domineering male and somewhat saucy although always submissive female. I’m not sure it will create more community or that it will even be close to helping BDSM become more mainstream. I think Fifty Shades paints BDSM in an overtly simplistic hetero way that is more about a abusive relationship than anything really about BDSM. It is the same old archetypal faerie tale of the Dark Lord and the naive virgin prrincess. It reinforces the cliché of unhealthy manipulative erotic power play. It is really not about BDSM. “It’s a capitalist fantasy. You find this virgin, unchartered territory to exploit and you plant your flag in it. Its the Twilight of BSDM fiction. I couldn't' read past 15 pages without gouging my eyes out from the inanity. I find it extremely disturbing that America is more comfortable with women jerking off to stories about forced psychological and physical control by domineering rich men than to stories about any form of actual sex (which is nearly absent in Fifty Shades). Learning to have sex from a movie like this would be like learning to drive from watching an action film: someone is probably going to get hurt. His dominance is all sourced from his childhood abuse rather than coming from any place of personal inner power or strength. Dominance that comes from skill, knowledge, kindness, and thoughtfulness—now that's the kind of dominance I want to read about. it also demonstrates how easily BDSM can be hijacked by abusers, especially without exposure to a healthy vibrant kink and sex positive community. the biggest problem concerned the ending of the third book in the series: Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey become a vanilla couple, which amounts to several bad messages about BDSM. She tops him from the bottom in the worst way possible and is rewarded for it. If Fifty Shades had accurately portrayed loving BDSM relationships, the mainstream would have merely ignored it out of boredom This story, however, is a grave misrepresentation of the world of kink that may lead people to believe BDSM is about violence and abuse as opposed to the deep of intimacy and connection available when people truly explore this powerful path. Fifty Shades of Grey idolizes dysfunctional, fairy-tale relationships and presents BDSM in a naïve, abusive manner Christian Grey is a total noob and makes the same mistakes that a lot of very, very new people make.

NookieNotes -> RE: -=50 Professionals, Why They Hate '50 Shades Of Grey'=- (2/17/2015 11:39:27 AM)
Fifty Shades of Grey will create more successful BDSM relationships the way Harlequin Romance Novels create more romantic relationships. - Me

littleladybug -> RE: -=50 Professionals, Why They Hate '50 Shades Of Grey'=- (2/17/2015 11:46:21 AM)
RS, maybe you should have not edited the quotes?? Case in point: Sunny Megatron, host of Showtime original series ‘Sex with Sunny Megatron’ “It’s a guilty pleasure. Many of us who are fully aware of all of the negative aspects of Fifty Shades love it anyway. We know the sex is unrealistic (Simultaneous orgasms every time? Please!), the relationship unhealthy (No, you can’t change your manipulative partner!), and their lifestyle is unrealistically lavish (Charlie Tango, anyone?) but that's exactly why millions can't get enough of it. It’s the ultimate, unattainable fantasy.” Umm...someone who actually sees it for what it is? I know this doesn't fit in with your posting, and that's probably why you deleted this portion of the quote. And then, of course, there's my favorite, which didn't make your "cut": Lisa Vandever, director, Cinekink: The Kinky Film Festival “If more dom males are inspired to sport Italian suits and offer up gazillion-thread count sheets, I’m good with that!” and this one too: Dr. Susan Block, sex therapist, TV host, author of The Bonobo Way “As a sex therapist, I give a thumbs-up to anything that gets my clients — and millions of regular people around the world — excited about sex, desire, masturbating, communicating, reigniting moribund marital love lives, exploring sex toys, fetish and fantasy roleplay. There's no doubt that Fifty Shades has accomplished an important feat in the world of erotica, whether or not its fans read all those crappy words. And I tip my hat to that. Just please don’t make me read it again!” --- Seriously, WTF is the deal???? You do what you do, I do what I do. Does FSOG really intimidate you THAT much? I've never understood "one-ups-manship" more than I have in the wake of this book and movie. I'm "realer" because... It's fiction. A book, a movie, one woman's fantasy. No more, no less. As Sunny Megatron mentioned "a guilty pleasure". If people get their panties in a bunch about it, I believe it says more about them than the book/movie. What's missing in your life/relationship that prompts this? And, if you say that "it's not the way BDSM should be", I challenge you to prove to me that your relationship is "what it should be".

satanscharmer -> RE: -=50 Professionals, Why They Hate '50 Shades Of Grey'=- (2/17/2015 12:15:53 PM)
~Sigh~ I wonder if anyone else is as tired as I am of hearing about this book - most of which I read on here or Fet now. Thinking people are going to use this book as some sort of how-to manual is about as likely as me going out and stealing an "Eleanor" after having watched "Gone In 60 Seconds". Oh, how I really, really, REALLY want that car. That's not to say some jackass won't try and use either one as a manual, I'd just like to give most people a little more credit than that. And again, maybe I'm giving people way too much credit, but I'd also like to think that most people will not take this fiction as fact and be led to believe that everyone involved in BDSM is somehow damaged. Especially if they're getting turned on by it, not viewing themselves as being damaged.

epiphiny43 -> RE: -=50 Professionals, Why They Hate '50 Shades Of Grey'=- (2/17/2015 12:27:38 PM)
Nah, we are already seeing profiles on fet asking for '50 Shades' kind of guys. Betcha she finds some, 7 'friends' already. Hope she survives. The movie is setting new box office records. We Are going to be deluged here. Has anyone else noticed Hollywood destroys everything it touches?

ResidentSadist -> RE: -=50 Professionals, Why They Hate '50 Shades Of Grey'=- (2/17/2015 12:37:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littleladybug RS, maybe you should have not edited the quotes?? I did not quote the positive comments of which there are a few very valid observations. Thank you for sharing the things about the article that struck a chord with you, that's why I posted the link. The article has 2,717 words in it so I tried to keep all quotes to 30 or 40 word count. I did not quote everyone, just those relevant to the title. I did post the link so everyone could read it all. If you have the faintest interest, you'll find it a good read with relevant points from several perspectives, both good and bad.

MariaB -> RE: -=50 Professionals, Why They Hate '50 Shades Of Grey'=- (2/17/2015 12:48:46 PM)
For the last 25 five years there has been hundreds of historical romances that verged on the FSOG story. I've watched The Secratery and I've watched 9 & a Half Weeks. Both those films depicted unconsensual dominance that turned into a hot romance. FSOG is nothing new, it just got out at the right time to a much bigger audience and people are clearly loving it. In the main its just spiced up a lot of peoples love life and that has to be good. If some come into the BDSM community, good luck to them; perhaps they needed the book to gain inspiration to make that journey. Yes they will be naieve just like we all were when we entered this lifestyle but just like we did, they will learn; they will become savvy. Many years ago I read a book that verged on all manner of unconsensual BDSM and it was that book that brought me onto the scene.

AlabamaPrincess -> RE: -=50 Professionals, Why They Hate '50 Shades Of Grey'=- (2/17/2015 1:02:25 PM)
I read the books for what they were...fantasy. In turn, it piqued my interest and thus led me to open up and explore with my husband/Sir. On the outside we are very vanilla, but I do wear a collar, and close friends know exactly what that entails. I'm very happy that I read the books, if for nothing else than the fun fantasy that it is. Again (I've said this in another post) I take it at face value and don't give two craps about picking it apart. There is no reason. I'm happy with my BDSM relationship/marriage/lifestyle, and very glad that it provided an avenue for me to open up with. That's not to say my husband wouldn't have helped me, the books just sped things along, haha. Just like the Sons of Anarchy...so many people tried to liken it to "real biker gangs" which is so not the case. But that's a different fantasy altogether, right? ;-)

littleladybug -> RE: -=50 Professionals, Why They Hate '50 Shades Of Grey'=- (2/17/2015 1:30:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: epiphiny43 Nah, we are already seeing profiles on fet asking for '50 Shades' kind of guys. Betcha she finds some, 7 'friends' already. Hope she survives. The movie is setting new box office records. We Are going to be deluged here. Has anyone else noticed Hollywood destroys everything it touches? Like "BDSM was perfect" before this came out? I'm just glad that my coming out was not due to this book.

littleladybug -> RE: -=50 Professionals, Why They Hate '50 Shades Of Grey'=- (2/17/2015 1:32:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist I did not quote everyone, just those relevant to the title. Or, those relevant to your position.

SinFix -> RE: -=50 Professionals, Why They Hate '50 Shades Of Grey'=- (2/17/2015 1:52:04 PM)
The majority of those getting into this because of the books or now movie, I have found are not those that improved their sex lives but are here looking to cheat on their husband because instead of having a discussion about it have decided that going behind their back and cheating is the easier course.

focalss -> RE: -=50 Professionals, Why They Hate '50 Shades Of Grey'=- (2/17/2015 2:09:24 PM)
50 Professional whats? I'm in the anti pro domme crowd, its not a relationship and there are not that many sub men who are just looking to be subs to woman without a sexual or emotional component which neither is available through pros. In the sub women, dom male circle you also don't hear of too many dom billionaires except that guy in the Bahamas accused of breaking the law.

ExiledTyrant -> RE: -=50 Professionals, Why They Hate '50 Shades Of Grey'=- (2/17/2015 2:18:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist is like believing Star Trek is actual space travel." [sm=jaw.gif] You're wrong, Colonel Sanders, you're wrong!!!! [img]http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/No_ff4047_1147684.jpg[/img]

TNDommeK -> RE: -=50 Professionals, Why They Hate '50 Shades Of Grey'=- (2/17/2015 4:00:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist is like believing Star Trek is actual space travel." [sm=jaw.gif] You're wrong, Colonel Sanders, you're wrong!!!! [img]http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/No_ff4047_1147684.jpg[/img] Fuck off I just spit tea everywhere! Bwahahahahaha! Lets hear what mama has to say on the subject

ExiledTyrant -> RE: -=50 Professionals, Why They Hate '50 Shades Of Grey'=- (2/17/2015 4:05:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TNDommeK Fuck off I just spit tea everywhere! Bwahahahahaha! Lets hear what mama has to say on the subject I moonlight as a compliance control officer for planned obsolescence. Jus sayin

PeonForHer -> RE: -=50 Professionals, Why They Hate '50 Shades Of Grey'=- (2/17/2015 5:03:38 PM)
quote: For the last 25 five years there has been hundreds of historical romances that verged on the FSOG story. I've watched The Secratery and I've watched 9 & a Half Weeks. Both those films depicted unconsensual dominance that turned into a hot romance. FSOG is nothing new, it just got out at the right time to a much bigger audience and people are clearly loving it. In the main its just spiced up a lot of peoples love life and that has to be good. If some come into the BDSM community, good luck to them; perhaps they needed the book to gain inspiration to make that journey. Yes they will be naieve just like we all were when we entered this lifestyle but just like we did, they will learn; they will become savvy. Hmmm. I'm just trying to picture a woman walking out of a cinema, enraptured by 50 Shades and the whole idea of subbing with Prince Charming McDominant, then turning up the next day at, say, the Bristol Munch to get chatted up by Mr Fred McBeardy-Wurzel as he offers her a roll-up. Plummet. Ouch. I don't know if 50 Shades will inspire anybody. Part of the damage it does comes from locating D/s and BDSM in a modern-day fairyland. I could imagine that people who had some vague interest will watch the film and think, 'Sigh. Bliss - but bliss doesn't happen in the real world'.

MariaB -> RE: -=50 Professionals, Why They Hate '50 Shades Of Grey'=- (2/18/2015 12:24:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: focalss 50 Professional whats? I'm in the anti pro domme crowd, its not a relationship and there are not that many sub men who are just looking to be subs to woman without a sexual or emotional component which neither is available through pros. In the sub women, dom male circle you also don't hear of too many dom billionaires except that guy in the Bahamas accused of breaking the law. Do you have evidence of this? I don't mean personal evidence. We can't blame a book for cheating wives!

MariaB -> RE: -=50 Professionals, Why They Hate '50 Shades Of Grey'=- (2/18/2015 12:29:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer quote: For the last 25 five years there has been hundreds of historical romances that verged on the FSOG story. I've watched The Secratery and I've watched 9 & a Half Weeks. Both those films depicted unconsensual dominance that turned into a hot romance. FSOG is nothing new, it just got out at the right time to a much bigger audience and people are clearly loving it. In the main its just spiced up a lot of peoples love life and that has to be good. If some come into the BDSM community, good luck to them; perhaps they needed the book to gain inspiration to make that journey. Yes they will be naieve just like we all were when we entered this lifestyle but just like we did, they will learn; they will become savvy. Hmmm. I'm just trying to picture a woman walking out of a cinema, enraptured by 50 Shades and the whole idea of subbing with Prince Charming McDominant, then turning up the next day at, say, the Bristol Munch to get chatted up by Mr Fred McBeardy-Wurzel as he offers her a roll-up. Plummet. Ouch. I don't know if 50 Shades will inspire anybody. Part of the damage it does comes from locating D/s and BDSM in a modern-day fairyland. I could imagine that people who had some vague interest will watch the film and think, 'Sigh. Bliss - but bliss doesn't happen in the real world'. Your right, they are in for a reality check and its going to be unpleasant [:D]

NookieNotes -> RE: -=50 Professionals, Why They Hate '50 Shades Of Grey'=- (2/18/2015 1:39:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer Hmmm. I'm just trying to picture a woman walking out of a cinema, enraptured by 50 Shades and the whole idea of subbing with Prince Charming McDominant, then turning up the next day at, say, the Bristol Munch to get chatted up by Mr Fred McBeardy-Wurzel as he offers her a roll-up. Plummet. Ouch. LOL! #Truth quote: I could imagine that people who had some vague interest will watch the film and think, 'Sigh. Bliss - but bliss doesn't happen in the real world'. This makes me sad. Partially because I know it's true. I've never been a fan of romance, as I've always found the "bliss" is in the real world. MUCH more there than in any book.

AlabamaPrincess -> RE: -=50 Professionals, Why They Hate '50 Shades Of Grey'=- (2/18/2015 5:12:28 AM)
So does this mean that before 50 Shades, all women who read the Harliquin romance novels were running around looking for Fabio in a clearing in the woods, while gathering berries or riding a horse?

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