NookieNotes
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quote:
ORIGINAL: GoddessManko
None of this makes any sense to me. No relationship is about a singular person, it is about a unit. Both perspectives are naught more than personal opinions and I really don't believe such a concept should be missionized. Both people in the dynamic are living for that dynamic, not their individual selves and such a selfish attitude is doomed from the get go, sorry to say.
*shrugs* What works for you, what works for me... toe-may-toe, toe-mah-toe
My relationships are about two individuals, not about a "unit." There is no unit for me. There is me and you. As long as we are together, "us" is how you and I interact, the connections, if you will. We are not a single thing. We are two people constantly choosing to be together, for whatever purposes.
A relationship for me lasts as long as I get substantially more positivity and benefit to my life than I get negativity, and as long as I feel I get more out of the relationship than I put in.
I encourage my submissives/lovers/whatever to feel the same, when dealing with me.
quote:
I feel like it is dishonest to convey otherwise and it sets people up for failure. It is not about the cuffs, it is about the chain adjoining them (individuals metaphoric as cuffs).
See, the chain, to me, is replaceable with a million different things. Rope. Ribbon (I like this analogy, something pretty and not really, ultimately binding, more of a choice, symbolic), clips that attach the cuffs not to each other, but to hooks in the wall, so the cuffs still exist and still hold the same relationship to each other, but also have other bindings...
*smiles*
quote:
I sometimes wonder how I can understand the submissive male so well and others seem to not.
Hmmm. When I read "the submissive male," it feels like you are saying that what you understand is the only thing.
I assure you, that those I take on as mine have never felt so understood in their lives.
Just two days ago, I asked my Pet, "Do you still consent to me playing with your head and changing your behavior to suit my needs?" He replied that of course he did, because it is the best thing that has ever happened to him. He gave me permission the night he met me, not realizing what it meant, and I have been getting renewed consent every month (or so) since.
He plays an active part in his submission.
quote:
They want to be compelled to act otherwise they stay in their cocoon. I am not going to say "yes, stay in your cocoon, good idea." No, you need to get out of that cycle of having pseudo cuck relationships with your exes and female friends. Of spoiling your kids and hiding behind them to maintain perpetual bachelorhood, of working yourselves to death and not "making time" instead of finding time. THAT is what they need to hear, not "wait til someone panders to your needs and fulfills kinks 1-5. That's what proDommes are for and if they want that, awesome! But we are talking actual relationship here and self first is bound to fail.
You are mistaking my point.
My point is that everyone, sub, dom, vanilla, EVERYONE has a right to desire a particular type of relationship. if they can find that, bully for them. It will rarely be with me, unless their relationship ideal perfectly suits mine.
Everyone also has needs within a relationship, that, to me, are greater than the wants/desires. I believe that each individual is responsible for themselves to get these needs met by choosing the right relationship. If they choose wrong, and their needs are not being met, they need to choose to remove themselves or find a way to fix it.
quote:
Also people need to stop comparing male subs to female subs, it is a totally, totally different ballgame here. I wouldn't know where to begin.
In some ways, I agree. In others, humans are very similar, regardless of sex. It really depends, IMO, on which level they are being compared.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Marini
As Dominant women, I don't see any of these views as "right" or "wrong".
Everyone in this "lifestyle" is different, and we are all seeking different types of relationships on here.
We all {Dominant, submissive, slave, switch, bottom, top, kinkster, fetishist, and do-me} have a right to desire/lust/or go after what it is that we are seeking in life.
As long, as we are not abusing/or hurting another human or living creature {against their consenting will  }, I always say to each their own.
I personally feel, that the only person that I need or care about "following" my rules, etc. are MY submissive.
I have never been interested much in rule books/leather protocols/or even what the cool kids are "doing".
My primary concern is the relationship between my submissive/slave and I.
As long as HE is willing to "go along" with, follow, and lovingly enjoy, what I ask/expect/require/demand/need/enjoy/ or whatever, we will make our own rules.
As long as the parties involved agree on the parameters/expectations/rules/protocols/ etc. the sky is the limit.
There are endless possibilities that can exist, and as long as the people involved are consenting, I say go for it.
As long as you both consent to what you are doing, who cares what others do or think?
I personally set the bar fairly high for a submissive.
I have a comfort level, and I would not be happy or content with a submissive that felt he did not have to please me.
In fact, I would not get involved with someone that did not desire/yearn or WANT to please me.
That's my choice, and I am happy with it.
Dominants and submissives have the right to set any bars that they want, have rules, expectations, requirements, etc.
If a submissive wants to "run the show" and finds a Dominant that enjoys it, hell I ain't mad at them.
My kink may not be your kink, but that does not invalidate your kink nor mine.
I have enjoyed this conversation.
May we ALL find out Bliss!
Peace
I agree with this.
< Message edited by NookieNotes -- 3/12/2015 2:09:35 AM >
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