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Submission for powerful people - 3/5/2015 4:50:13 AM   
IcarusBurning


Posts: 107
Joined: 2/1/2015
Status: offline 		I had a discussion with someone which kind of led me to wonder - how do powerful people (in real life, say professionally) cope with their wishes to be submissive? I understand some might say its a bedroom only thing, but then again there are people who want to live this life 24x7 as a TPE, yet they are caught up in high positions of responsibility and regard at well-known organizations. Putting aside the obvious fears of exposure and shame, how would someone like that live their lives? Would he / she have to sacrifice one for the other?
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RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/5/2015 6:26:26 AM   
AlabamaPrincess


Posts: 134
Joined: 2/4/2015
From: The Dragon's Keep
Status: offline 		I think it can be a matter of how far they want to go. By that I mean, is their relationship in public one where they (sub) knows that 'look' from their Dom means something special? I think that many couples in that dynamic appear as vanilla as the next couple. The sub takes care of the Dom same as anyone else....brings a drink from the bar, helps with their coat, whatever. As has been said here a lot, each relationship is different, and as long as the communication is there "Babe, this dinner is with some important clients....." it should be all good. I would like to think that a good Dom will know the position their sub holds in the public eye and would adjust accordingly. I know that many in the high profile positions who identify as sub are excited to come home and leave that all behind.

(in reply to IcarusBurning)
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RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/5/2015 6:32:29 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Being submissive and powerful is not mutually exclusive.

I am the least submissive woman you could meet. I have been in tough sales for years.

My personal life has nothing to do with my professional or social life.

I don't understand why you would imagine someone would have to "sacrifice" an essential part of themselves to fit a label.

And why would you think a powerful person is ashamed of being submissive?

You are making all sorts of generalizations.


(in reply to AlabamaPrincess)
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RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/5/2015 6:38:54 AM   
AlabamaPrincess


Posts: 134
Joined: 2/4/2015
From: The Dragon's Keep
Status: offline 		I took it as the shame part being shamed by the public or company, not as she was ashamed to be a sub or being submissive. I took the whole question as asking how a person in a power position, say, a CEO of Ford would handle being submissive in public. Or having this lifestyle and keep it secret.....My Sir is in a position where he has a top secret clearance. Anything 'big brother' deems 'unacceptable' could cost him his job. W/we have to be careful what is posted on social media and what events we attend, etc. No, we don't live in fear or shame, but we are aware of his job and the consequences of being 'outed'

(in reply to sexyred1)
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RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/5/2015 7:03:39 AM   
GoddessManko


Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline 		I dislike the word powerful in this context but let's say "alpha". "Alpha subs" are a lot more submissive in their minds than they actually are. They desire, need and require to submit on their terms and that does not work for a Dominant like me. I already don't expect much when someone keeps finding a reason to validate their alpha nature to me.


_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to IcarusBurning)
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RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/5/2015 7:16:03 AM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline 		Well I label myself bedroom only...

But having been TPE before, for me it didn't work. The pressure from both him and then work eventually made me bitter and mad because I wasn't ever enjoying myself I was always doing something for someone.

Recently our business coach had us take DISC assessments. She thought I was gonna be a really high "D" (for dominance), and was surprised to find I wasnt. And honestly so was I. I was much higher in the "S" a which stands for "steadiness" but originally stood for "submissions".

I guess I hide it well at work considering I'm in a high power position- but I have a hard time having confidence in my decisions a lot, and I'd rather someone else make the big ones.

(in reply to GoddessManko)
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RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/5/2015 7:37:29 AM   
Kittenluv954


Posts: 237
Joined: 3/18/2014
Status: offline 		TPE would never work for me if I am expected to work outside of the home. I expect my owner to provide for my needs, and work only as long as I am single, and that is ALWAYS clearly communicated. I don't date men who aren't HoH/TIH oriented, my ownership is NOT a catch and release program.

(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/5/2015 7:46:25 AM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline 		I'm the complete opposite from Kittenluv. I hate not working. So for me my submission took a back seat to career. But I still get my rocks off on it. I'm much happier this way in my household too. I'm the main breadwinner so I like having a bigger say in what happens with it.

I don't think I could go back to being that submissive or giving up my work for him or not making household decisions together, I'm too selfish and im arguably the one who is better with money.

< Message edited by shiftyw -- 3/5/2015 7:47:10 AM >

(in reply to Kittenluv954)
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RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/5/2015 7:49:32 AM   
GoddessManko


Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kittenluv954

TPE would never work for me if I am expected to work outside of the home. I expect my owner to provide for my needs, and work only as long as I am single, and that is ALWAYS clearly communicated. I don't date men who aren't HoH/TIH oriented, my ownership is NOT a catch and release program.


I love this. Communicating needs and requirements which results in parameters in a relationship are so important. For a man, 24/7 TPE is doable even while at work and I expect my male sub to work. I expect my male sub to be stable and physically compatible for a relationship. This is going into a relationship, life happens. But some think only requirement =submissive or Dominant or think a cute face, some abs or a profession makes them "such a catch". Well I'm doing just dandy without you, give me a reason to uproot myself. For a woman, stability is important, no matter the label and a Master has to first be a Master of self, by my definition. A female sub, I would assume the male role in the relationship.

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to Kittenluv954)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/5/2015 8:28:42 AM   
Kittenluv954


Posts: 237
Joined: 3/18/2014
Status: offline 		hehe yes, i also used to be that way shifty. but i found i got resentful and annoyed because i was under pressure to keep life moving along more than he was. i was better at more things than i could handle, and ended up overburdened and pissed. so i quit dating men i considered to be incompetent at life. if i can run circles around him all over the place, i just get turned off. this is why i only date men that i can see from a million miles away have life pretty much on lock.

i know in relationships i will always have things i do better. and so will he. but its that inbalance i couldnt take, that im better at finance, decision making, mess cleanup, critical thinking, organizing, researching....oh but hes good with people. i mean, really?? ffs, i'll deal with a guy who lacks in two areas over the one that nearly literally cant do anything, and leaves me holding the bag all the time. how infuriating lol, i just cant do it.

(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/5/2015 8:32:44 AM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		We could also ask, how can a dominant lead if he doesn't have the ability to lead a "powerful career"? I've never had what I could consider powerful career but I'm certainly capable of dominating. Whilst I worked in sales, my long term submissive partner was a high flying lawyer with two law books to his name. He didn't judge my 'in-house' leadership as a sham and he didn't find it difficult to step down from his day job when he got home in the evening. I respected and admired his very successful career but that career certainly didn't intimidate me because clearly he needed leadership within his personal life.

I suppose if we are talking about rules over how someone is allowed to dress and insist on that submissive checking in by phone or conference call at certain times of the day, then yes; that would be tricky but I've never been into that sort of fun and games because as far as I can see, it just makes everyone's life more complicated and I'm all about simplicity.

_____________________________

My store is http://e-stimstore.com

(in reply to GoddessManko)
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RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/5/2015 8:37:36 AM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline 		See that is how I felt about my TPE relationship over this one haha.

He was my D so I had to fill out his FAFSA forms?!
He was my D so I had to come straight from work to clean his house? (we weren't living together either...)
He was my D so I had to price shop hotels for him....

no.
fuck that.
no.

Now my current guy and I do everything together. But I take the lead in shit I'm better at and he does the same. But we always talk about it, and no one has "final say" - we come to a mutual agreement that benefits both. I hated HATED that TPE relationship because I wasn't seeing any benefits from the relationship. So now I just like freaky sex stuff and prefer to keep my relationship equal.

(in reply to Kittenluv954)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/5/2015 8:39:24 AM   
Kittenluv954


Posts: 237
Joined: 3/18/2014
Status: offline 		i think sales is a pretty D type profession. it takes a lot of resources to keep it "turned on" enough to deal with people all day. overcoming objections, pushing that motivational envelope, leading sales teams, projecting markets, staying self disciplined enough to keep at that grindstone every day.... it takes a lot.

(in reply to MariaB)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/5/2015 8:40:50 AM   
Kittenluv954


Posts: 237
Joined: 3/18/2014
Status: offline 		sounds like you found a great balance, thats awesome shift!

(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/5/2015 9:49:58 AM   
orgasmdenial12


Posts: 613
Joined: 9/18/2012
Status: offline 		It's kind of easy to be honest. I keep business and personal separate and always have done. I don't add work colleagues to any social network sites and I don't take kinky people out to vanilla events. At work I'm powerful and authoritative and at home I'm crawling around on all fours and getting chained to things. Life is good :-)

(in reply to IcarusBurning)
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RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/5/2015 11:03:19 AM   
IcarusBurning


Posts: 107
Joined: 2/1/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AlabamaPrincess

I took it as the shame part being shamed by the public or company, not as she was ashamed to be a sub or being submissive. I took the whole question as asking how a person in a power position, say, a CEO of Ford would handle being submissive in public. Or having this lifestyle and keep it secret.....My Sir is in a position where he has a top secret clearance. Anything 'big brother' deems 'unacceptable' could cost him his job. W/we have to be careful what is posted on social media and what events we attend, etc. No, we don't live in fear or shame, but we are aware of his job and the consequences of being 'outed'


thank you, you put my question in better terms. sorry for not wording it properly. the intent was to understand how alpha submissives, specially those interested in TPE , handle the emotions surrounding submission. i understand the POV when you are a bedroom-only.

(in reply to AlabamaPrincess)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/5/2015 11:34:11 AM   
AlabamaPrincess


Posts: 134
Joined: 2/4/2015
From: The Dragon's Keep
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IcarusBurning


quote:

ORIGINAL: AlabamaPrincess

I took it as the shame part being shamed by the public or company, not as she was ashamed to be a sub or being submissive. I took the whole question as asking how a person in a power position, say, a CEO of Ford would handle being submissive in public. Or having this lifestyle and keep it secret.....My Sir is in a position where he has a top secret clearance. Anything 'big brother' deems 'unacceptable' could cost him his job. W/we have to be careful what is posted on social media and what events we attend, etc. No, we don't live in fear or shame, but we are aware of his job and the consequences of being 'outed'


thank you, you put my question in better terms. sorry for not wording it properly. the intent was to understand how alpha submissives, specially those interested in TPE , handle the emotions surrounding submission. i understand the POV when you are a bedroom-only.


you're welcome....I know it's hard to get thoughts across sometimes. I'm always being told to "find your words" and even then the thought isn't always conveyed properly.

(in reply to IcarusBurning)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/5/2015 7:30:35 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IcarusBurning

I had a discussion with someone which kind of led me to wonder - how do powerful people (in real life, say professionally) cope with their wishes to be submissive? I understand some might say its a bedroom only thing, but then again there are people who want to live this life 24x7 as a TPE, yet they are caught up in high positions of responsibility and regard at well-known organizations. Putting aside the obvious fears of exposure and shame, how would someone like that live their lives? Would he / she have to sacrifice one for the other?


Great question....more an issue for a man....even more for a man in a high(er) position.

A woman who is sub....sexy.

Domme....sexier.....

Faces shown on the chics....no one loses....

Gain for the chics.

Faces on a guy....sub; wimp....Dom; preposterous....presumptuous.....rapist.

Not easy to be a guy in this gig.

I've lived this.

Great women on this site....my fear? That I'll be found out....elsewhere.

EXCELLENT question(s)!!!!


(in reply to IcarusBurning)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/5/2015 8:58:00 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		It's almost axiomatic that the more responsibility a person has in daily life, the more they need to have a vacation from that at home. I've known several CEOs and other very high executives and a couple of heads of state. Almost all of them didn't want to have to make decisions at home. They wanted their tastes catered to, but otherwise were fine if their spouse decided which restaurant to go to or who to invite to dinner, what color to redecorate, etc.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/5/2015 10:36:04 PM   
seekingreality


Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IcarusBurning

I had a discussion with someone which kind of led me to wonder - how do powerful people (in real life, say professionally) cope with their wishes to be submissive? I understand some might say its a bedroom only thing, but then again there are people who want to live this life 24x7 as a TPE, yet they are caught up in high positions of responsibility and regard at well-known organizations. Putting aside the obvious fears of exposure and shame, how would someone like that live their lives? Would he / she have to sacrifice one for the other?


A successful, powerful person can be submissive in their personal relationship. Not sure why you see that's a sacrifice. That said, I doubt the CEO of a Fortune 500 company who enjoys being a submissive in a relationship wants that to be his 24-7 focus.

(in reply to IcarusBurning)
Profile   Post #: 20
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