Time Wasters

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Time Wasters

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Time Wasters

Page: [1] 2 3 4 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Time Wasters - 3/11/2015 12:38:39 PM

Sanctions

Posts: 7
Joined: 12/12/2014
Status: offline

I seem to attract every fake on this site, they contact me, want chat and when I set up a meeting time and place they either dont show up or always have an excuse why they cant meet with me. This is really getting old and Im just plain sick of it, any others experiencing the same thing? I have hidden my profile so I can take a break from this crap.

Post #: 1

RE: Time Wasters - 3/11/2015 12:44:12 PM

AlabamaPrincess

Posts: 134
Joined: 2/4/2015
From: The Dragon's Keep
Status: offline

I haven't personally, simply because my profile states that I'm not here to meet anyone. I think there are a lot of folks who treat this like a dating site, not a forum or place to relax, learn, discuss, and just chill. You scare off the fakes when you talk about a serious meet up, lol

(in reply to Sanctions)

Post #: 2

RE: Time Wasters - 3/11/2015 12:47:05 PM

littleladybug

Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
Status: offline

I can't say that I've experienced it.

I contacted my man, we chatted and then met up at a local walking trail with our dogs. No muss, no fuss.

(in reply to AlabamaPrincess)

Post #: 3

RE: Time Wasters - 3/11/2015 1:35:18 PM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

Many male subs on here are spooked by their own shadow and think meeting for coffee is the scariest endeavor of their lives. Very common, no worries. I'm sure there has been a "car breakdown, a client call, a child's soccer game" or something, anything they can use as the reason why they can't just meet someone to say hello. Some are more serious in their search, those are the ones who have been collared before or are determined to be and that's the type of sub that'll be worth something. When a sub uses a fetish model as a point of reference for me, I dismiss entirely.
I wish you luck finding him, and wish these other perpetual bachelors happy trails chasing their own tails while you and your sub are in D/s bliss. The right sub for you will be willing to put in the WORK and EFFORT to keep you happy and satisfied. If all else fails, try a munch, why not? Might turn out to be good as long as you keep it light and friendly. But yes, many fantasists online.

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to littleladybug)

Post #: 4

RE: Time Wasters - 3/11/2015 2:40:56 PM

littleladybug

Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
Status: offline

Oh, yeah, female Dom looking for a male sub. Forgot that this was the unique animal that only certain special people understand.

(in reply to GoddessManko)

Post #: 5

RE: Time Wasters - 3/11/2015 3:09:26 PM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

Not too hard to ascertain imo. You see a group of Lifestyle Dominant women saying the same thing, the growing # of ProDommes and FinDommes and it is indicative of a trend. Not exactly rocket science.

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to littleladybug)

Post #: 6

RE: Time Wasters - 3/11/2015 3:12:37 PM

littleladybug

Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
Status: offline

Yeah, when the profile is hidden it's kinda hard to ascertain anything.

But, regardless, it's up, and we now see that it's a Domme complaining about life as a Domme.

Life certainly doesn't change.

(in reply to GoddessManko)

Post #: 7

RE: Time Wasters - 3/11/2015 4:30:44 PM

Sanctions

Posts: 7
Joined: 12/12/2014
Status: offline

Being a submissive bitch doesnt make one a better person either

(in reply to littleladybug)

Post #: 8

RE: Time Wasters - 3/11/2015 4:33:15 PM

SpyUnderCover

Posts: 208
Joined: 6/21/2010
Status: offline

Yes, that sort of thing is pretty common for female dominants. Lots of male subs come up with reasons why they can't show. I have found the sooner I suggest talking on the phone and meeting, the less my time is wasted. If they postpone even once I'm rarely inclined to give them a second chance. The times that I have done so have seldom paid off.

Spy

(in reply to littleladybug)

Post #: 9

RE: Time Wasters - 3/11/2015 4:34:41 PM

UnholyBear

Posts: 661
Joined: 10/19/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

....Many male subs on here are spooked by their own shadow and think meeting for coffee is the scariest endeavor of their lives.

Hmmmm....wonder how many of these legit subs did serious plan to meet and their plans got screwed over? Wonder how many of these same subs are now deemed fakes, wankers scammers in the process?

_____________________________

Shameless flirt and just as unholy as ever!

Gauge's cuddlemuffin

CD's manwhore

(in reply to GoddessManko)

Post #: 10

RE: Time Wasters - 3/11/2015 4:36:19 PM

Sanctions

Posts: 7
Joined: 12/12/2014
Status: offline

There are too many people that love the fantasy but the reality just scares the shit out of them. I have contacted several been stood up and contacted them wanting an explanation and either their profile is gone or they wont answer, o well their loss.

(in reply to UnholyBear)

Post #: 11

RE: Time Wasters - 3/11/2015 4:40:42 PM

UnholyBear

Posts: 661
Joined: 10/19/2012
Status: offline

And see that is the thing, with many subs they fear what they crave, especially when they really have no idea what it means to serve another or what it means to meet and actually go through he process of meeting up with a dominant person with the high expectation of some sort of a dynamic will ensue.

_____________________________

Shameless flirt and just as unholy as ever!

Gauge's cuddlemuffin

CD's manwhore

(in reply to Sanctions)

Post #: 12

RE: Time Wasters - 3/11/2015 4:52:05 PM

Sanctions

Posts: 7
Joined: 12/12/2014
Status: offline

One can fear but it is just plain rude to delete your profile or refuse to explain your absence at a meeting. Fear is what holds all of us back and conquering that fear is what makes a dominant, dominant in so many ways as we have conquered most of our fears and we now seek a sub that is secure enough to go forth into the arena of bdsm instead of living it ones mind.

(in reply to UnholyBear)

Post #: 13

RE: Time Wasters - 3/11/2015 4:59:15 PM

UnholyBear

Posts: 661
Joined: 10/19/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sanctions

One can fear but it is just plain rude to delete your profile or refuse to explain your absence at a meeting. Fear is what holds all of us back and conquering that fear is what makes a dominant, dominant in so many ways as we have conquered most of our fears and we now seek a sub that is secure enough to go forth into the arena of bdsm instead of living it ones mind.

True though fear will also have a person acting completely out character, take actions that are illogical, idiotic and sometimes they do totally fuck up.

Look I am not defending the dude who up and disappeared without a word. Just offering a view that falls outside the common assumptions around here. Not everything is crystal clear though it is becoming obvious that it is far easier to simply whitewash people with the same brush.

_____________________________

Shameless flirt and just as unholy as ever!

Gauge's cuddlemuffin

CD's manwhore

(in reply to Sanctions)

Post #: 14

RE: Time Wasters - 3/11/2015 5:00:52 PM

Sanctions

Posts: 7
Joined: 12/12/2014
Status: offline

I do not speak of just one incident this has happened numerous times and I give everyone the benefit of the doubt because things do happen.

(in reply to UnholyBear)

Post #: 15

RE: Time Wasters - 3/11/2015 5:08:22 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

I know of one Domme that demanded a refundable deposit prior to a meet to prevent exactly this.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Sanctions)

Post #: 16

RE: Time Wasters - 3/11/2015 5:21:35 PM

shiftyw

Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline

This happens with all online dating I've found.
Its frustrating but I'm not sure what is to really be done about it?

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 17

RE: Time Wasters - 3/11/2015 5:22:16 PM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UnholyBear

Hmmmm....wonder how many of these legit subs did serious plan to meet and their plans got screwed over? Wonder how many of these same subs are now deemed fakes, wankers scammers in the process?

This is a good question and I'll answer it. The problem with the "so many fakes" accusations is that at the end of the day it seems like a lot of "not willing to do things on my terms, therefore fake". If I met you and you were unworthy of my collar it's due to you FAILING at something. It didn't take me that long to find a permanent collar for a reason you see but by vanilla dating standards, I would have been married by now, lmao. I have had sub men write me entire scripts thinking it is flattering. I have had them ask me for kinks 1-5, online domming, for my skype. One sub I talked to about the bewildering number of subs unwilling to pursue things offline directed me to femdomme society where webcam Dommes were "contributing so much to the F/m dynamic." Look, that's like saying "my ex 12 years ago broke my heart so it automatically means all men are evil and untrustworthy". I mean come on, I don't even know what to say to that kind of thinking. The fact is that they are just fearful of commitment but they aren't even willing to admit it to themselves. Yes, many of them are willing to make my dreams come true (via webcam) but face to face is something else. Sanctions you can try vanilla sites as well as bdsmsingles. You may fare better there. There it is predominantly people seeking a relationship. Here there is just too much diversity in the context of relationship (even to take things offline).
I have never had a problem connecting with a sub on that site aside from impatient/flaky behavior but there's less of the nonsense and excuse making. It's really common for Dommes on here to have the same issue so no worries. Put it this way, I once met a 60 something year old sub (He lied and said 45 on his profile) and he has a "4000 sq ft slave compound" and still has never been collared. It's weird and I don't even wanna figure out the psychology behind that, LOL.

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to UnholyBear)

Post #: 18

RE: Time Wasters - 3/11/2015 5:23:16 PM

shiftyw

Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

quote:

ORIGINAL: UnholyBear

Hmmmm....wonder how many of these legit subs did serious plan to meet and their plans got screwed over? Wonder how many of these same subs are now deemed fakes, wankers scammers in the process?

This is a good question and I'll answer it. The problem with the "so many fakes" accusations is that at the end of the day it seems like a lot of "not willing to do things on my terms, therefore fake". <snip>

^ ain't that the truth.

(in reply to GoddessManko)

Post #: 19

RE: Time Wasters - 3/11/2015 5:55:28 PM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I know of one Domme that demanded a refundable deposit prior to a meet to prevent exactly this.

This is actually a REALLY good idea and a trust building exercise. Also shifty, looking good over there! *whistles*

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 3 4 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Time Wasters

Page: [1] 2 3 4 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094