RE: m f comparisions

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dreamlady -> RE: m f comparisions (3/13/2015 3:39:11 PM)
(I'm only using your quote as a reference point, and my post is not necessarily directed to you for a reply.) quote: ORIGINAL: littleladybug ...what I am seeing here is the idea that male subs are weak and malleable. And that it pisses the fuck out of some self proclaimed female dominants that others are calling them out on it. <snip> Yup, my man didn't have to compete with "Pro Doms". . . . I'm just trying to understand, as much as I can from my POV, what the heck makes the "M/f" relationship something special. I hope I don't regret this, because the last thing I want to see is this turning into a complaint thread or about finDoms and professional BDSM providers. A poster named crumpets posted about maleness and femaleness having ascendency over submissiveness, and I'm inclined to agree. Then it was pointed out that financial domination is more the domain of Dommes, and that male Doms who practice this are still relying upon the participation of male subs. I cannot validate this, but I understand there are pro subs and pro switches whose client base is comprised of male Dominants, the common denominator being that of maleness in being willing to pay for sexual and/or BDSM services. That there may be exceptions to this does not negate commonality. So, is it overly simplistic to chalk this up to gender differences? That the modus operandi of males differs from that of females, when seeking out a fetish delivery system, regardless of which side of the D/s kneel they're on. Circling back to the most frequently heard/expressed complaints by Dominants, then. Now I will address you in terms of a couple remarks you made that struck me as "poor little rich girl" when it comes to Dommes complaining about subs. (I think you meant male subs in particular.) I'm wondering whether you feel any Dominant who "complains" about submissives is just sour grapes, or if there is a significant difference in substance between F/m and M/f, either as to a Dominant's expectations of submissive performance or any other characteristic. (This isn't to put you on the spot, and anybody can opine, but I am curious about this angle.) To kick this off then, taking fetishists for example, do male Doms express a similar degree of frustration with all the female fetishists or female bottoms out there who aren't "truly" submissive?

GoddessManko -> RE: m f comparisions (3/13/2015 3:41:18 PM)
It was directed to the OP Lucy, and littleladybug I think you need to calm down. You don't know me, that's my point. I just playfully suggested I have knowledge of quantum physics and for whatever reason you took that personally. Earlier I didn't even want to respond but you and quizzical were going at each other much to GotSteel's amusement. I was pointing out that a lot of people on this thread were doing naught more than playing into his hands. Men and women are different, always have been even at a mental level and if you don't believe me I do have a friend who is a psych professor who'll be happy to elaborate further or you can review studies about it yourself. When I tried to stop the women on here from fighting each other all of the sudden everyone (yet again) started personally attacking me for little to no reason. This has to stop at some point. It's fine to have debates, I like being playful on here, not where people are legitimately getting upset over...I'm not even sure. I never had a problem with you or Lucy but I dont' like people trying to bait me into some sort of weird "outing" tactic. It's underhanded, dirty, mean and uncalled for. Bottom line. Threads have started about me before and have lasted this long and this getting ridiculous. Who even does this? I have heard of high schoolers doing this sort of thing but not adults. It's so obvious what this man is doing especially when he insinuates I'm "name calling" and people actually believe that.

Lucylastic -> RE: m f comparisions (3/13/2015 3:48:05 PM)
Then i wont respond to it..... but i sure as hell have no interest in anyones "outing". the paranoia over being disagreed with, seems to be strong today, and making dumb assumptions to. I dont get it. happily

GoddessManko -> RE: m f comparisions (3/13/2015 3:49:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lucylastic Then i wont respond to it..... but i sure as hell have no interest in anyones "outing". the paranoia over being disagreed with, seems to be strong today, and making dumb assumptions to. I dont get it. happily Rereads the OP Paranoia, really?

Lucylastic -> RE: m f comparisions (3/13/2015 3:57:01 PM)
im not talking about the op.......shrugs

GoddessManko -> RE: m f comparisions (3/13/2015 4:07:22 PM)
The op is the premise for this entire discussion that followed? But uhm...OK... Good angle to approach the topic I have to add dreamlady.

littleladybug -> RE: m f comparisions (3/13/2015 4:23:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessManko It was directed to the OP Lucy, and littleladybug I think you need to calm down. You don't know me, that's my point. I just playfully suggested I have knowledge of quantum physics and for whatever reason you took that personally. What? You've suggested that you have knowledge in a lot of things...but I don't see quantum physics. quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessManko Earlier I didn't even want to respond but you and quizzical were going at each other much to GotSteel's amusement. I was pointing out that a lot of people on this thread were doing naught more than playing into his hands. That says a whole freaking lot right there. What I saw him saying had little to nothing to do with all else that was going on. Or was it? Was it a "male thing" that I just didn't see? Did he and every other male out there get a "kick" out of this? Is that what males are wont to do? quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessManko Men and women are different, always have been even at a mental level and if you don't believe me I do have a friend who is a psych professor who'll be happy to elaborate further or you can review studies about it yourself. I'm sure you have a "friend" in just about every profession. You are JUST that important. I get that. quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessManko When I tried to stop the women on here from fighting each other all of the sudden everyone (yet again) started personally attacking me for little to no reason. And, please let me know when you tried to "stop" anything here. And, who are YOU to try to stop anything anyway? Honestly, I would like to know when and where you have EVER tried to stop any controversy, between anyone. quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessManko This has to stop at some point. It's fine to have debates, I like being playful on here, not where people are legitimately getting upset over...I'm not even sure. I never had a problem with you or Lucy but I dont' like people trying to bait me into some sort of weird "outing" tactic. It's underhanded, dirty, mean and uncalled for. Bottom line. Threads have started about me before and have lasted this long and this getting ridiculous. Who even does this? I have heard of high schoolers doing this sort of thing but not adults. It's so obvious what this man is doing especially when he insinuates I'm "name calling" and people actually believe that. "Outing"? What does this even mean in this context? I'm taking you by what you have said here, and quite frankly, I'm confused. You have a sub in Canada and apparently you have worked your magic with the powers that be up there to get his "paperwork" straightened out, and at the same time you have someone in NY you are giving orders to, too boot you have said that there has been a marriage proposal. One might think that you are the "fem dom" to be looked up to. Why not tell us all about that here, rather than concentrating on the negative? Shit, who am I? A sub who has had more than her own trials. Never had anything handed to her, and is trying to make things work with a local Dom who may or may not be her "soulmate". shrug I simply don't get it.

GoddessManko -> RE: m f comparisions (3/13/2015 4:26:03 PM)
LOL wut? Stop trying is my suggestion because that attempt was as laughable as my "first experience was a PTSD Dom".

littleladybug -> RE: m f comparisions (3/13/2015 4:29:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessManko LOL wut? Tee hee You are just the most adorable dom ever.

littleladybug -> RE: m f comparisions (3/13/2015 4:30:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessManko Stop trying is my suggestion because that attempt was as laughable as my "first experience was a PTSD Dom". And, that means ANYTHING because?

GoddessManko -> RE: m f comparisions (3/13/2015 4:38:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littleladybug What? You've suggested that you have knowledge in a lot of things...but I don't see quantum physics. Oh right, you didn't catch that. Earth's magnetic field? That's quantum field theory. quote: That says a whole freaking lot right there. What I saw him saying had little to nothing to do with all else that was going on. Or was it? Was it a "male thing" that I just didn't see? Did he and every other male out there get a "kick" out of this? Is that what males are wont to do? Alrighty then. smiles quote: I'm sure you have a "friend" in just about every profession. You are JUST that important. I get that. I do miss the Dutch Namibian on Wall St I was quite taken with, we had lovely economic debates. quote: And, please let me know when you tried to "stop" anything here. And, who are YOU to try to stop anything anyway? Honestly, I would like to know when and where you have EVER tried to stop any controversy, between anyone. Uhm....OK? quote: "Outing"? What does this even mean in this context? I'm taking you by what you have said here, and quite frankly, I'm confused. You have a sub in Canada and apparently you have worked your magic with the powers that be up there to get his "paperwork" straightened out, and at the same time you have someone in NY you are giving orders to, too boot you have said that there has been a marriage proposal. One might think that you are the "fem dom" to be looked up to. Why not tell us all about that here, rather than concentrating on the negative? Shit, who am I? A sub who has had more than her own trials. Never had anything handed to her, and is trying to make things work with a local Dom who may or may not be her "soulmate". shrug I simply don't get it. Honestly I have my trials too. I just won't speak of them on a public forum. Especially one where just saying "men and women are different" causes this much controversy. Nor have I ever put you down, I thought it was neat you painted your nails different colors to suit your mood and thought I need to get that girly about mine one day. I have never had anything handed to me either, it has been offered but I have this obsession with living life authentically. I apologize if I have done you wrong but I have nothing against you. Truly and I'm kind of mad now GotSteel even started this because I am not trying to upset anyone. Plus I have always thought you were kinda hot LOL.

NookieNotes -> RE: m f comparisions (3/13/2015 4:45:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessManko where just saying "men and women are different" Personally, I think "men and women are different" is a very different beast from "Also people need to stop comparing male subs to female subs, it is a totally, totally different ballgame here. I wouldn't know where to begin." It's a matter of degree. I agree with the first statement, not the second, at least as far as I understand/read it. Out of curiosity, it seems like we are also bringing male and female bottoms into the picture? And fetishists? Not just subs, right?

GoddessManko -> RE: m f comparisions (3/13/2015 4:54:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NookieNotes quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessManko where just saying "men and women are different" Personally, I think "men and women are different" is a very different beast from "Also people need to stop comparing male subs to female subs, it is a totally, totally different ballgame here. I wouldn't know where to begin." It's a matter of degree. I agree with the first statement, not the second, at least as far as I understand/read it. Out of curiosity, it seems like we are also bringing male and female bottoms into the picture? And fetishists? Not just subs, right? Hmmm in my experience male subs and female subs are very different, both kink wise and service-submission wise as well as the way they see a Dominant female. I treat them differently as well and those reasons are applicable to my methods.

littleladybug -> RE: m f comparisions (3/13/2015 4:56:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessManko I do miss the Dutch Namibian on Wall St I was quite taken with, we had lovely economic debates. No doubt. quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessManko Uhm....OK? quote: You mentioned that you tried to stop this "conflict" between quizzical kitten and myself. I would like to actually see where you tried to stop any conflict, at any point, on this forum. Should be simple, no?

GoddessManko -> RE: m f comparisions (3/13/2015 5:06:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littleladybug You mentioned that you tried to stop this "conflict" between quizzical kitten and myself. I would like to actually see where you tried to stop any conflict, at any point, on this forum. Should be simple, no? When she wanted to duct tape you I stepped in, maybe it was jealousy on my part. [;)]

littleladybug -> RE: m f comparisions (3/13/2015 5:07:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessManko quote: ORIGINAL: littleladybug You mentioned that you tried to stop this "conflict" between quizzical kitten and myself. I would like to actually see where you tried to stop any conflict, at any point, on this forum. Should be simple, no? When she wanted to duct tape you I stepped in, maybe it was jealousy on my part. [;)] Tee hee, probably so.

FelineRanger -> RE: m f comparisions (3/13/2015 5:17:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littleladybug You mentioned that you tried to stop this "conflict" between quizzical kitten and myself. I would like to actually see where you tried to stop any conflict, at any point, on this forum. Should be simple, no? Just one small clarification. I happen to know quizzicalkitten in the real world and know that nobody can stop her from doing anything unless she decides to stop. She's quite stubborn that way. And she eventually gets really pissed if you poke her in the ribs enough times.

GoddessManko -> RE: m f comparisions (3/13/2015 5:18:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littleladybug Tee hee, probably so. That made me grin. I knew I liked you. [;)]

littleladybug -> RE: m f comparisions (3/13/2015 5:29:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessManko Hmmm in my experience male subs and female subs are very different, both kink wise and service-submission wise as well as the way they see a Dominant female. I treat them differently as well and those reasons are applicable to my methods. What is your experience with female subs?

littleladybug -> RE: m f comparisions (3/13/2015 5:42:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dreamlady ] Circling back to the most frequently heard/expressed complaints by Dominants, then. Now I will address you in terms of a couple remarks you made that struck me as "poor little rich girl" when it comes to Dommes complaining about subs. (I think you meant male subs in particular.) I'm wondering whether you feel any Dominant who "complains" about submissives is just sour grapes, or if there is a significant difference in substance between F/m and M/f, either as to a Dominant's expectations of submissive performance or any other characteristic. (This isn't to put you on the spot, and anybody can opine, but I am curious about this angle.) Ok, in terms of what I have seen as far as expectations from male dominants. It ranges from "let's meet and see" to "I will keep you in a cage, period". The majority I have seen trend toward the former. I personally don't feel that all dominants that complain about not being able to find someone is suffering from "sour grapes". But, in my experience, there are a lot of them. There's a shitload, as I have seen, of "me Dom, you sub" going on, and I'm seeing that a lot from female dominants. And, when things go south, it's generally blamed on the sub-- because, you know, they haven't "done things right". Hence, my query-- what is the expectation? and, where does it come from?

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