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Dark fantasies - 3/24/2015 5:23:24 PM   
Ariluna


Posts: 8
Joined: 9/25/2013
Status: offline 		How do I know if I can trust a dominant from here, with my darkest fantasies? What guarantees trust with a sadist?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Dark fantasies - 3/24/2015 5:30:21 PM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline 		What guarantees trust with anyone?


I don't get what you're really asking? Do you want to or NOT want to act on those fantasies? Are you afraid they'll tell everyone and out you? Or afraid they'll break limits because they thought you wanted it?

(in reply to Ariluna)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Dark fantasies - 3/24/2015 5:41:29 PM   
RockaRolla


Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline 		The same way you know to trust anyone. You take the time and get to know them as people.

_____________________________

~Roxie

(in reply to Ariluna)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Dark fantasies - 3/24/2015 5:58:55 PM   
JVoV


Posts: 3660
Joined: 3/9/2015
Status: offline 		Go slowly, build a sense of trust, be honest about your fantasies and limits.

Depending on just how dark your fantasies are, it may take a while to be comfortable enough with anyone for you to really let go.

(in reply to RockaRolla)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Dark fantasies - 3/24/2015 7:14:11 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		Resident Sadist is good for you, guaranteed*!

*Guarantee is limited to return of unopened and unused sadists only. Results may vary with use over time. Normal wear and tear can be expected to reduce overall capacity of sadist. These statements have not been examined by the FTC. Void where prohibited.


_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to Ariluna)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Dark fantasies - 3/24/2015 7:50:07 PM   
GoddessManko


Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline 		LOL limits are your friend. And I too recommend RS.

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Dark fantasies - 3/24/2015 8:16:44 PM   
JVoV


Posts: 3660
Joined: 3/9/2015
Status: offline 		A live video feed, so that we can all be witnesses might help.

(in reply to GoddessManko)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Dark fantasies - 3/24/2015 8:42:45 PM   
UnholyBear


Posts: 661
Joined: 10/19/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ariluna

How do I know if I can trust a dominant from here, with my darkest fantasies? What guarantees trust with a sadist?


It depends on how dark you perceive these fantasies. makes sense to me that you need to develop trust with a person to be able to reveal fantasies you consider dark. Though always keep in mind that some fantasies especially the extreme dark types are best kept a fantasy.

_____________________________

Shameless flirt and just as unholy as ever!

Gauge's cuddlemuffin

CD's manwhore


(in reply to Ariluna)
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RE: Dark fantasies - 3/24/2015 8:43:53 PM   
UnholyBear


Posts: 661
Joined: 10/19/2012
Status: offline 		~FR~

I can verify RS does give good thread.

_____________________________

Shameless flirt and just as unholy as ever!

Gauge's cuddlemuffin

CD's manwhore


(in reply to UnholyBear)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Dark fantasies - 3/24/2015 8:45:23 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ariluna

How do I know if I can trust a dominant from here, with my darkest fantasies?



You don't.

quote:

What guarantees trust with a sadist?


Nothing.


Perhaps elaboration of what you mean is in order otherwise, I stand by my answers.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Ariluna)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Dark fantasies - 3/24/2015 8:46:59 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Same way you know if you can trust anyone. Or do you habitually choose people who lie to you, cheat on you, seek to harm you?

Date. Spend lots of time talking. About everything, not just kink. Become friends first.

Beyond that, there's no way to know if the dominant in question shares your interests. He could have your chief desire as his hard limit.

Just because he's dominant doesn't mean he's a sociopath.
Just because someone is a sadist doesn't mean they go around kicking puppies.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to UnholyBear)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Dark fantasies - 3/25/2015 12:19:11 AM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ariluna

How do I know if I can trust a dominant from here, with my darkest fantasies? What guarantees trust with a sadist?

Consistent demonstration of behaviour over time. It will take months, if not years.

I think casual play is unwise anyway, but private casual play is brain-dead. You're putting yourself in a power exchange situation with someone who could be a psychopath.

The smart thing to do is build connections (with multiple people, if need be) over time so you can assess people's trustworthiness before you trust them.

If you're not willing to put in the effort, you'll just end up taking risks. Not smart.

_____________________________

Ever notice how fucking annoying most signatures are? - Yes, I do appreciate the irony.

(in reply to Ariluna)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Dark fantasies - 3/25/2015 2:21:06 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Trust Me.
Whisper the darkest desires you have to me and then I'll tell you whether you should share them with someone else
But don't be trusting any of these crazy fuckers (points above). They're all 100% predators


quote:

ORIGINAL: JVoV

A live video feed, so that we can all be witnesses might help.

And this

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to Awareness)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Dark fantasies - 3/25/2015 2:43:13 PM   
GoddessManko


Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Trust Me.
Whisper the darkest desires you have to me and then I'll tell you whether you should share them with someone else
But don't be trusting any of these crazy fuckers (points above). They're all 100% predators


quote:

ORIGINAL: JVoV

A live video feed, so that we can all be witnesses might help.

And this


LOL this. And for the first time I disagree with Awareness. The exception to this rule is if you have decent depth perception. Honestly my best encounters included risk (not even knowing what my face looks like, dark alley, that sort of thing) but risk is higher for a female than male so I would not advise. There were no rules, no prediscussed conditions and no expectations. I think we did discuss limits, no idea. I only did it to 1-keep them on their toes. 2- to amuse myself. It was just a bit of casual play and they were obviously in frenzy. Pretty good encounters not to be repeated ever. I have/had a "one time only" rule for casual players. I refuse to casually play now. Someone just offered me $500 bucks. Pointed him thataway.

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Dark fantasies - 3/25/2015 2:51:32 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Someone just offered me $500 bucks. Pointed him thataway.

I swear. If I'd been born a woman, I'd have retired a millionaire by 22.
I need to go into fin dom

< Message edited by Kana -- 3/25/2015 2:52:03 PM >

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to GoddessManko)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Dark fantasies - 3/25/2015 9:57:02 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

LOL limits are your friend. And I too recommend RS.


quote:

ORIGINAL: UnholyBear

~FR~

I can verify RS does give good thread.

I can feel the love... I love and respect you both.

As far as the Op goes, on a serious note, you gotta' trust your gut. When it comes to trusting "a dominant from here", you are talking about an online community which means you should dissolve their online anonymity before you extend trust. Verify who they are before you expose yourself.




_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to UnholyBear)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Dark fantasies - 3/25/2015 10:34:03 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I recommend getting into the local community. Go to munches and meet people. Speak with other fem subs - who are good people, and who do they not recommend?

Go to play parties. Observe people playing, and see what good technique looks like.

Watch couples. See how healthy couples interact.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Dark fantasies - 3/26/2015 2:49:07 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		Keep in mind that fantasy doesn't always translate well into reality. Dark fantasies even less so, generally speaking.

If someone shows you who they are. Believe them. Don't let your desire for the fantasy blind you to the reality of the person.

Leave no evidence of your dark deeds, and if necessary eliminate any witnesses 😜

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 3/26/2015 2:50:01 AM >

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Dark fantasies - 3/26/2015 2:53:27 AM   
DerangedUnit


Posts: 660
Joined: 2/23/2007
Status: offline 		Plan for the worst, hope for the best.

(in reply to Ariluna)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Dark fantasies - 3/26/2015 8:30:21 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Online is a great place to dip into fantasies, even the darkest of them. Why?
Because if you have sense you give out no personal data, address, phone number, chat about your life, your job, or your family accomplishments.
Feeling like you need to shove your head in a kangaroo pouch while Crocodile Dundee pierces your clit with this knife... go for it! It is online, it is fantasy.
Now, if you want to know if you can trust someone you meet here not to exploit your fantasy in person, you don't. Best advice is get to know someone well before you over share

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

β€œThe truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to Ariluna)
Profile   Post #: 20
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