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RE: men out of your league? - 3/31/2015 7:34:44 AM

satanscharmer

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While I know there are people out there in a different league, that thought never crossed my mind when approached. They approached me for a reason, must not think I'm out of their league, so I never had a reason to think otherwise (I'm a little old-fashioned, the man does the approaching). I saw something I liked, I smiled and flirted and let them decide from there.

If I were the one doing the approaching, it is possible that my experiences would have been different but not in regards to personality or manners. Personality is more of a preference, none being better than others IMO, and I believe I have wonderful manners (thank you, mom). The only item that may cause me to pause would be intelligence. I can almost guarantee it, actually. I have a pretty healthy self-esteem, but when it relates to intelligence I have often suffered from Imposter Syndrome. If I liked someone enough, I think I'd still let them decide whether or not they felt as though I was worthy of playing in their league (their acceptance of my advances would translate to whether or not they felt I was "worthy" enough) since I do not believe my self evaluation skills to be very reliable.
That's where I carry most of my insecurity and that's when I start creating "leagues" in my mind.

(in reply to IcarusBurning)

Post #: 21

RE: men out of your league? - 3/31/2015 8:59:13 AM

WinsomeDefiance

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I wouldn't equate charming with "out of my league" because I've found that charming is often a facade that hides a whole lot of ugly. If I perceive myself as not in someone's league it is usually because they appear to hold in high value something that I feel inadequate at, inferior to or do not highly value in my own life.

(in reply to satanscharmer)

Post #: 22

RE: men out of your league? - 3/31/2015 9:44:01 AM

sexyred1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: IcarusBurning

boy, other than Gauge we men must be making a rather poor impression of ourselves!

no i did not mean it in the "cold, unapporachable"sense. i dont see why thats desirable either. i meant it more than "he's so charming i dont have the courage to go up and talk to him" type. the richard gere type, if you will. :P

Still no. If I see someone very hot and seemingly charming, I find a way to be noticed. The red hair helps with that, as well as not getting all fluttery around such men.

It's interesting. A few years ago a friend dragged me to a club (and I never go to clubs anymore) and in walks the most stunning guy, I mean drop dead hot.

She said oh let's talk to him. I said. Let's just observe. Of course other women had the same idea and were mobbing him and his friend.

I just gave him a look once in a while and continued my evening, never approached him.

Long story short? I ended up with him coming over to me, and I dated him for about 6 years on and off, and we became friends eventually. Not only was he gorgeous, but smart. I asked why he picked me with young chicks all over him and he said "you were ignoring me and I had to know why".

Confidence means a lot.

(in reply to IcarusBurning)

Post #: 23

RE: men out of your league? - 3/31/2015 12:00:51 PM

PeonForHer

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FR

Hmm. But, if you meet somebody who's 'out of your league' - but, subsequently, get together with that person ... isn't this stuff of the finest fairy stories? Cinderella and Prince Charming - Beauty and the Beast - that kind of thing? I mean, hard to get - but, wow, what a prize, eh?

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(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 24

RE: men out of your league? - 3/31/2015 12:29:27 PM

shiftyw

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From: The Shire
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Nah, not for me.

My Cinderellla story involves a man who lets me drink beer and eat with him. Someone who doesn't mind I can be pervy or vulgar, and someone who loves me as I am and doesn't want to change me.

Him being "out of my league" is largely just something sorta there that I find makes me self concious. It's not like bonus points- at least for me.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 25

RE: men out of your league? - 3/31/2015 1:31:36 PM

DerangedUnit

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Joined: 2/23/2007
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Yeah the prince charming type isn't my thing either.... I hate politicians

Or rather the classic indicators of status money, education, decorum

I haven't met one person with an excess of any one of those things that didn't have a personality that drove me up the wall.

(in reply to shiftyw)

Post #: 26

RE: men out of your league? - 3/31/2015 1:38:31 PM

needlesandpins

Posts: 3901
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no man is better than me, so no man is out of my league. I don't consider myself to be better than any man until he proves otherwise. sadly I've been treated with less than I deserved by some as though they feel me not worthy of better

needles

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RE: men out of your league? - 3/31/2015 2:43:49 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Charm is a deal breaker for me. Most people I've known who possessed it don't possess a lot of other traits that I find more desirable. Like honesty and integrity. They trade on it.

I did know a woman years ago who felt that her husband was much more attractive than she was and therefore she couldn't demand he live up to his promises, because he could always move on. Personally, I thought that if this was the case, that would have been the best thing for her.

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Post #: 28

RE: men out of your league? - 3/31/2015 6:27:39 PM

petitespot

Posts: 288
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From: Surfside Beach, SC
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quote:

ORIGINAL: IcarusBurning

hey all

i guess this question is more out of innocent curiosity..

has it ever happened that ladies have considered a man to be way out of their league? and not because of his wealth, but rather due to his personality, conduct and deportment.

i know the reverse often happens, but just wanted to know whether women have felt the same way too..

Absolutely. And those are always the men I go after.
I've found that those types of men tend to be very dominant.

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Post #: 29

RE: men out of your league? - 3/31/2015 6:48:44 PM

Marini

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Joined: 2/14/2010
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I don't consider any man "out of my league".
But, there are many reasons I don't find many men suitable for ME.
As I get older, I don't fancy or desire a partner 20-30 years younger than me, that's called living and getting older.

I am a fairly down to earth person, and I have turned down becoming involved with men that I considered "high maintenance".

Example: I dated a man about 20 years ago, that was fairly well known in many DC circles.
He had tons of clothes, got manicures, seemed to be more concerned with designer labels and what was on his back than I was, and just seemed a bit preoccupied with his appearance a lot more than I was.
{Always talking about having the best car, best this and best that}
He seemed to really care about me, and I really liked him a lot, he was a lot of fun to be around, and witty and entertaining as hell, but I felt to be with him, I had to be "on".
Even when he came over to my home, I spent hours worried about what to wear, how I looked, etc.
I said fuck it, I need someone more laid back.
I take pride in how I look, but I have never been an extreme girly girl.
I told him I rather be friends, we remained friends for years.
He said he liked me "however" I was, but I always felt I had to "put on" and always "be on" to be with him.

I would not be happy in a relationship, in which I always had to be "on" for him and other people.

I have declined becoming involved with anyone in the entertainment arena/and a few other professions, when younger for similar reasons.

I think I could handle someone that is somewhat "high maintenance" these days, if I wanted to.

So my answer is NO--I am proud of what I have done with my life, and I don't feel that anyone is out of my "league".
It doesn't matter if they are worth $1 or 1 billion dollars.

There are people I don't want to be bothered with, for a variety of reasons, but not because they are out of my league.

I try to judge people by the content of their character, not by what they own, or who they are.

Great question, and I have a question for you/and or anyone else?

What MAKES a person out of someone elses "league"?
Is it: Youth? Outward Appearance/Beauty? Net Worth? Status? Social Status? Profession? Accomplishments? Family Pedigree? Reputation? General Fabulosity?

< Message edited by Marini -- 3/31/2015 7:13:52 PM >

_____________________________

As always, To EACH their Own.
"And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. "
Nelson Mandela
Life-long Democrat, not happy at all with Democratic Party.
NOT a Republican/Moderate and free agent

(in reply to IcarusBurning)

Post #: 30

RE: men out of your league? - 3/31/2015 6:56:05 PM

PeonForHer

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FR

Wow. Some very confident women, here. I've often felt this or that woman vaguely to be 'out of my league'.

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(in reply to Marini)

Post #: 31

RE: men out of your league? - 3/31/2015 7:20:03 PM

Marini

Posts: 3629
Joined: 2/14/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

FR

Wow. Some very confident women, here. I've often felt this or that woman vaguely to be 'out of my league'.

Thing is mate, is it a self-confidence issue?
What MAKES someone out of your league?

If I live to be in my 90s {which is my goal}, I pray I never feel people are better than me, because I was able to walk the earth for a long time.
Are young {20}year old hotties BETTER than those of us, that may live to become older?

This post made me think of this song, it is so me.
lol
Til Tuesday, Voices Carry

< Message edited by Marini -- 3/31/2015 7:26:46 PM >

_____________________________

As always, To EACH their Own.
"And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. "
Nelson Mandela
Life-long Democrat, not happy at all with Democratic Party.
NOT a Republican/Moderate and free agent

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 32

RE: men out of your league? - 3/31/2015 7:34:03 PM

Marini

Posts: 3629
Joined: 2/14/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

FR

Hmm. But, if you meet somebody who's 'out of your league' - but, subsequently, get together with that person ... isn't this stuff of the finest fairy stories? Cinderella and Prince Charming - Beauty and the Beast - that kind of thing? I mean, hard to get - but, wow, what a prize, eh?

Are you going to fall apart when you get old Peon?
I gather "out of someone's league" means being more attractive than the other party?
"Out of someone's league" == Younger, hotter, sexier, more attractive, etc.
humm

< Message edited by Marini -- 3/31/2015 7:41:36 PM >

_____________________________

As always, To EACH their Own.
"And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. "
Nelson Mandela
Life-long Democrat, not happy at all with Democratic Party.
NOT a Republican/Moderate and free agent

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 33

RE: men out of your league? - 3/31/2015 7:45:38 PM

Marini

Posts: 3629
Joined: 2/14/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IcarusBurning

boy, other than Gauge we men must be making a rather poor impression of ourselves!

no i did not mean it in the "cold, unapporachable"sense. i dont see why thats desirable either. i meant it more than "he's so charming i dont have the courage to go up and talk to him" type. the richard gere type, if you will. :P

I am still waiting for Brad Pitt {and a few others in his LEAGUE}to wake up one day, and realize they married the wrong women.

< Message edited by Marini -- 3/31/2015 7:46:40 PM >

_____________________________

As always, To EACH their Own.
"And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. "
Nelson Mandela
Life-long Democrat, not happy at all with Democratic Party.
NOT a Republican/Moderate and free agent

(in reply to IcarusBurning)

Post #: 34

RE: men out of your league? - 4/1/2015 12:18:21 AM

dreamlady

Posts: 737
Joined: 9/13/2007
From: Western MD
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Marini

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Wow. Some very confident women, here. I've often felt this or that woman vaguely to be 'out of my league'.

Thing is mate, is it a self-confidence issue?
What MAKES someone out of your league?

A large part of it, I believe, is due to self-confidence or lack of self-confidence issues.

Much of that is related to self-consciousness. If somebody makes you feel self-conscious about yourself, and not comfortable in your own skin, then that person is probably not right for you.

PeonForHer, self-confidence is sexy. Blatant arrogance and egocentric self-entitlement is not. I find that many submissive or submissively inclined men mistake the two disparate characteristics.
(No doubt, many submissive women do the same, to their detriment, but I can't speak to that.)
I also muse whether those who lack self-confidence or who have low self-esteem are drawn to the "wrong" types subconsciously, hoping that these qualities will rub off on them by association. This would apply to same-sex friendships as well.

Marini, your earlier post describes these DC and other metropolitan-area metrosexual males who wear a flashing neon sign that reads High Maintenance. *Blech*
Have you ever noticed that high-maintenance men want high maintenance-looking women, without having to put themselves out to get and to keep such a woman? As in wanting the trophy wife or girlfriend without actually doing much of anything to earn the trophy.

It's like the older man who expects to snag the much younger babe, just because he has attained a modicum of success in life. Then bitches about it later how ALL women are golddigging whores who are out to "use" ALL men, when he was the one with the whore-mongering mentality from the very start.

DreamLady

(in reply to Marini)

Post #: 35

RE: men out of your league? - 4/1/2015 2:02:53 AM

JVoV

Posts: 3664
Joined: 3/9/2015
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FR

I don't think I've ever been with anyone that was in my league. Somehow I've always managed to get guys that have been more attractive than me, with much harder bodies, and generally younger.

It's never made sense to me, and it's not that I've specifically searched for any certain type of guy.

(in reply to dreamlady)

Post #: 36

RE: men out of your league? - 4/1/2015 3:55:04 AM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
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quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

we compliment each other well.

Nuff said.

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To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to shiftyw)

Post #: 37

RE: men out of your league? - 4/1/2015 6:17:16 AM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Marini

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

FR

Wow. Some very confident women, here. I've often felt this or that woman vaguely to be 'out of my league'.

Thing is mate, is it a self-confidence issue?
What MAKES someone out of your league?

If I live to be in my 90s {which is my goal}, I pray I never feel people are better than me, because I was able to walk the earth for a long time.
Are young {20}year old hotties BETTER than those of us, that may live to become older?

Could be a self confidence thing. That certainly played a part in the past. I wouldn't know about the '20 year old hotties' issue: when I talked about 'out of my league' I took it as read that that implied women who'd I'd actually want to go for.

quote:

This post made me think of this song, it is so me.
lol
Til Tuesday, Voices Carry

Jeez! 1980s New Romantic: Gone ... and best forgotten.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to Marini)

Post #: 38

RE: men out of your league? - 4/1/2015 6:22:36 AM

petitespot

Posts: 288
Joined: 7/3/2006
From: Surfside Beach, SC
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Marini

What MAKES a person out of someone elses "league"?
Is it: Youth? Outward Appearance/Beauty? Net Worth? Status? Social Status? Profession? Accomplishments? Family Pedigree? Reputation? General Fabulosity?

For me, it's always been that guy who is just popular. He walks into a room and everyone knows him and likes him.
I'm generally very quiet and come across as shy, even though I'll talk to anyone.

The guy I'm with now lives in a smallish beach town where the locals know everyone and their business.
He bartends there and EVERYONE in that town knows him. He can pretty much have his pick of women and yet he chooses to be with me.
I asked him why and he said it was because I'm drama free, I don't ever get involved with town gossip and he likes my quietness and stability.
Plus he said I'm cute and give a hell of a blowjob. 8)

He is definitely out of my league. If it was high school, he was the popular jock. I was the nerdy, straight A student.

_____________________________

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Post #: 39

RE: men out of your league? - 4/1/2015 7:13:17 AM

sexyred1

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Joined: 8/9/2007
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Really interesting replies.

Even in high school, I felt no one was out of my league. Back then, I already knew who had brains and who didn't.

The popular guys who dated cheerleaders? I tried dating them, was bored by them, dated older guys and the popular guys in school ended up working at gas stations while the nerdy guys became Bill Gates types.

As I got older, it was always as I said earlier. I could "get" anyone, whether I wanted to keep them was another story. I was a plus size model back in the day. I dated male models. They were the dumbest and most self centered men on the planet. Plus they sucked in bed.

I 100% believe the most important thing in attraction is self confidence.

(in reply to petitespot)

Post #: 40

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