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RE: men out of your league? - 4/1/2015 7:36:21 AM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline 		For me, it's gaged by myself compared to other women they could get.
I don't know why they would pick me over someone who is more attractive- certainly there are "entire packages" out there- I've never felt like an entire package for someone who could date Kate Upton..

ETA- correcting wrong "there"- sometimes I do that too- I suppose it takes away from my "entire packageness"

< Message edited by shiftyw -- 4/1/2015 7:39:51 AM >

(in reply to sexyred1)
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RE: men out of your league? - 4/1/2015 9:02:59 AM   
IcarusBurning


Posts: 107
Joined: 2/1/2015
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Marini

quote:

ORIGINAL: IcarusBurning

boy, other than Gauge we men must be making a rather poor impression of ourselves!

no i did not mean it in the "cold, unapporachable"sense. i dont see why thats desirable either. i meant it more than "he's so charming i dont have the courage to go up and talk to him" type. the richard gere type, if you will. :P


I am still waiting for Brad Pitt {and a few others in his LEAGUE}to wake up one day, and realize they married the wrong women.




you kidding? he married jennifer AND angelina! HELLO!

(in reply to Marini)
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RE: men out of your league? - 4/1/2015 9:05:06 AM   
IcarusBurning


Posts: 107
Joined: 2/1/2015
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Really interesting replies.

Even in high school, I felt no one was out of my league. Back then, I already knew who had brains and who didn't.

The popular guys who dated cheerleaders? I tried dating them, was bored by them, dated older guys and the popular guys in school ended up working at gas stations while the nerdy guys became Bill Gates types.

As I got older, it was always as I said earlier. I could "get" anyone, whether I wanted to keep them was another story. I was a plus size model back in the day. I dated male models. They were the dumbest and most self centered men on the planet. Plus they sucked in bed.

I 100% believe the most important thing in attraction is self confidence.



i am sure that stroked the ego of quite a few nerdy ones here. including me, who am i kidding. thank you. good to know people still value intelligence and personality (or self-confidence, in your words). one would think its the age of showoffs.

(in reply to sexyred1)
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RE: men out of your league? - 4/1/2015 9:15:00 AM   
smileforme50


Posts: 1623
Joined: 1/24/2013
From: DelaWHERE(?)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IcarusBurning

hey all

i guess this question is more out of innocent curiosity..

has it ever happened that ladies have considered a man to be way out of their league? and not because of his wealth, but rather due to his personality, conduct and deportment.

i know the reverse often happens, but just wanted to know whether women have felt the same way too..


ALWAYS....ALWAYS.....ALWAYS

Until I lose about 100 ponds and someday become financially stable and confident.....

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“I’m so fucking wet! Give it to me now!”

She could scream all she wanted…..I was keeping the umbrella.

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RE: men out of your league? - 4/1/2015 9:31:53 AM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		General reply

I went to a girls school so I didnt have that experience in highschool with boys. mind you I more than made up for it but no....never felt anyone was out of my league. Ive had people who felt I was out of their league tho, wether from their own ....lack of, or over confidence. Their loss:)

I certainly never "dismissed" anyone because of their lack or abundance of money, material things or job status.
What you have isnt important,, who you are is,
YMMV



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(in reply to smileforme50)
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RE: men out of your league? - 4/1/2015 3:25:45 PM   
AAkasha


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quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

I change my mind. My bestie and I are toying with this insane idea of trying to have me and my celebrity crush in the same room at the same time. Which I feel is a reach but would be a fun story/experience. I think it's an excuse for him to have me move out to the Left Coast.



Who is your celeb crush! do tell! :)

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RE: men out of your league? - 4/1/2015 3:58:34 PM   
PeonForHer


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Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

For me, it's gaged by myself compared to other women they could get.


I get the feeling that this sort of feeling is a lot stronger amongst women than it is amongst men, re other male 'competitors'. In terms of looks, I mean. It's frequently astonished me how female friends of mine have sized up the appearance - and only the appearance, mind - of other women around them. 'She's got good legs, boobs aren't great, big ears, not very pretty - small mouth, weird eyes' - in an instant, before I've even noticed said woman's existence, quite often. Well, I guess women are brought up to know all about female appearance ....

On the other hand, I literally don't know what constitutes 'handsome' in a man. I have no sense at all of a man that 'all the women will go for'. Certainly, I can pick out an ugly man who the women won't look at. But I can't tell 'ordinary Ok-looking Joe' from 'Mr Drop Dead Gorgeous'. It's always fascinated me, that.

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RE: men out of your league? - 4/1/2015 7:45:53 PM   
Marini


Posts: 3629
Joined: 2/14/2010
Status: offline 		Again Icarus, we can only hope Brad wakes up one day, and realizes the ONE that got away.


_____________________________

As always, To EACH their Own.
"And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. "
Nelson Mandela
Life-long Democrat, not happy at all with Democratic Party.
NOT a Republican/Moderate and free agent

(in reply to IcarusBurning)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: men out of your league? - 4/1/2015 7:48:24 PM   
Marini


Posts: 3629
Joined: 2/14/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Jeez! 1980s New Romantic: Gone ... and best forgotten.


I shall never forget the 80s, I love 80s music.
Also, hush...voices carry.


_____________________________

As always, To EACH their Own.
"And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. "
Nelson Mandela
Life-long Democrat, not happy at all with Democratic Party.
NOT a Republican/Moderate and free agent

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: men out of your league? - 4/1/2015 8:42:18 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		I love that song Voices Carry!

(in reply to Marini)
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RE: men out of your league? - 4/1/2015 8:44:53 PM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline 		Peon- yes. I actually hate that I do that. I really don't put much merit on looks but I compare myself to others in a nasty way. It is a habit I'm trying to break.

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RE: men out of your league? - 4/1/2015 8:46:07 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50


quote:

ORIGINAL: IcarusBurning

hey all

i guess this question is more out of innocent curiosity..

has it ever happened that ladies have considered a man to be way out of their league? and not because of his wealth, but rather due to his personality, conduct and deportment.

i know the reverse often happens, but just wanted to know whether women have felt the same way too..


ALWAYS....ALWAYS.....ALWAYS

Until I lose about 100 ponds and someday become financially stable and confident.....


Stop, don't even think that about yourself.

With my tough year, I learned about perspective, valuing what's important and valuing the here and now.
Never put yourself on hold waiting for things to happen, even while you're making them happen.

(in reply to smileforme50)
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RE: men out of your league? - 4/1/2015 8:47:36 PM   
sexyred1


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quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

Peon- yes. I actually hate that I do that. I really don't put much merit on looks but I compare myself to others in a nasty way. It is a habit I'm trying to break.


Dont do it. You are FAB.

(in reply to shiftyw)
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RE: men out of your league? - 4/1/2015 10:20:47 PM   
IcarusBurning


Posts: 107
Joined: 2/1/2015
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

I certainly never "dismissed" anyone because of their lack or abundance of money, material things or job status.
What you have isnt important,, who you are is,
YMMV



hear hear. couldnt agree more.

(in reply to Lucylastic)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: men out of your league? - 4/3/2015 2:15:35 PM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IcarusBurning


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

I certainly never "dismissed" anyone because of their lack or abundance of money, material things or job status.
What you have isnt important,, who you are is,
YMMV



hear hear. couldnt agree more.

yanno, Ive been thinking about this and im wrong... I have been dismissive, and even felt out of someones league:) But that was back in the early teen years. my self esteem sucked, as I think most of us have those at some point growing up.
there was one guy who seemed so freakin cool, we met up at a CBers meeting, he was cool, he was even a lil cute, but the Huge tatty pink elephant he dragged around EVERYWHERE with him was a lil too much to handle when he would speak to it, like an invisible friend.
Now generally I like "weirdos", eccentrics, and stuff, but this guy was way too much into the effalump.


_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to IcarusBurning)
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RE: men out of your league? - 4/3/2015 2:25:53 PM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline 		Heyyyy I resemble that remark!! I used to own a pink effalump... I didn't drag him anywhere though, I was a teen & slept with it.

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RE: men out of your league? - 4/3/2015 2:29:21 PM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tiggerspoohbear

Heyyyy I resemble that remark!! I used to own a pink effalump... I didn't drag him anywhere though, I was a teen & slept with it.

I had a big hofmeister bear I used to sleep with, but that 24 yr old was never without the damn thing,


_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to tiggerspoohbear)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: men out of your league? - 4/3/2015 3:19:57 PM   
Awareness


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Joined: 9/8/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

Peon- yes. I actually hate that I do that. I really don't put much merit on looks but I compare myself to others in a nasty way. It is a habit I'm trying to break.
One of the important aspects of our beliefs about ourselves is expressed in our self-talk. Self-talk is those things you tell yourself - about yourself - constantly throughout your day.

Negative self-talk is a predictor of low self-esteem. However, positive self-talk generally indicates healthy esteem. It's like affirmations. People use them because our beliefs about ourselves have an enormous impact upon what we even attempt - let alone succeed at. Using affirmations isn't black magic, but the things we constantly tell ourselves worm their way into our unconscious and manifest themselves in our beliefs.

If you're experiencing negative self-talk - and I have no idea if you do - then there's an intervention you can try for yourself. It's quite simple.

Take an elastic band which fits loosely about your wrist. Wear it all day. During your day, as soon as you notice any negative self-talk, stretch the band and let it go so it snaps against your wrist and hurts.

Try it for a week or so and see how you go.


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RE: men out of your league? - 4/3/2015 8:41:46 PM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline 		I do experience negative self talk. However, I really don't think the rubber band thing is going to work. I typically have a hair tie around my wrist and snap it out of nervous habit anyways.

I work on it- and have done a pretty good job- but its still a daily struggle. I don't know how to assess good aspects but leave out the bad- basically.

(in reply to Awareness)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: men out of your league? - 4/4/2015 12:17:22 AM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

I do experience negative self talk. However, I really don't think the rubber band thing is going to work. I typically have a hair tie around my wrist and snap it out of nervous habit anyways.


That's an unconscious action. This is conscious. The rubber band acts as a pattern interrupt to disrupt the negative self-talk. Masochistic tendencies aside, the effect is to shock you out of that stream of negative self-talk.

The foundation of a better life always begins with you. First with the belief that you deserve it, then the belief that you can achieve it.

It's not a case of reasoning it through or "trying to believe". It's a simple case that your beliefs about yourself - and the world at large - are largely formed by your experiences AND your interpretation of those experiences.

There's a thing called "explanatory style" which determines how you interpret events and a positive explanatory style tends toward better outcomes.

Anyway, I'd thoroughly recommend "The Happiness Advantage" by Shawn Achor. While the book itself is interesting, the real worth of it is 7 simple disciplines you can use every day to teach your brain to expect and experience the positive. The outcomes are pretty impressive.

quote:

I work on it- and have done a pretty good job- but its still a daily struggle. I don't know how to assess good aspects but leave out the bad- basically.
I'd suggest that it's not so much the bad, but how the bad is being interpreted.

If you tend to view the bad in terms of identity statements (EG: "I am"), then your mind is going to do its best to ensure that your behaviour is consistent with those identity statements.

If you view the bad as externalised, (EG: "this is less than ideal but I'm moving it toward a better state", then your mind will try and make that happen.)

Identity is powerful. Whatever identity you establish, your mind will work towards. So establishing a positive identity is a big part of moving towards a positive future.


_____________________________

Ever notice how fucking annoying most signatures are? - Yes, I do appreciate the irony.

(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 60
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