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RE: What is high maintenance? - 7/15/2006 10:59:32 AM   
SexyRed


Posts: 529
Joined: 8/19/2004
Status: offline 		that is wonderful. I am happy for you and that is one less man for all the high maintenance women of the world to annoy. god bless.

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RE: What is high maintenance? - 7/15/2006 10:59:34 AM   
babygirl005


Posts: 146
Joined: 5/3/2005
Status: offline 		I had a friend who had a Triumph sports car. It was a beautiful car. But what I remember most about it, was his legs sticking out from underneath it as he was fixing yet another problem. The car would run great for a few days, but invariably he was fixing something on it. That is high maintenance.
There is always work involved in a relationship, but when it is all work, then what is the point?
           Estring

< Message edited by babygirl005 -- 7/15/2006 11:00:18 AM >

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RE: What is high maintenance? - 7/15/2006 11:04:15 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		The opposite of low maintenance is what?

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RE: What is high maintenance? - 7/15/2006 11:05:00 AM   
bandit25


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Status: offline 		That's what I've always thought "high maintenance" to mean.  Someone who sucks up all  of your energy.

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RE: What is high maintenance? - 7/15/2006 11:06:07 AM   
Morpheus07


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quote:

ORIGINAL: babygirl005

I had a friend who had a Triumph sports car. It was a beautiful car. But what I remember most about it, was his legs sticking out from underneath it as he was fixing yet another problem. The car would run great for a few days, but invariably he was fixing something on it. That is high maintenance.
There is always work involved in a relationship, but when it is all work, then what is the point?
           Estring


Could not have said it better myself. My brother had a Fiat X/19 that he would drive a block then push a block.

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Its a case of mind over matter, "I don't mind, because you don't matter!"

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RE: What is high maintenance? - 7/15/2006 11:07:09 AM   
juliaoceania


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quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

That's what I've always thought "high maintenance" to mean.  Someone who sucks up all  of your energy.


Well if that is the meaning that would not be me, but I have heard too many men that I wouldn't date state they were looking for a "low maintenance" woman.... yuck to that too. Like I said, what you have is a direct reflection of what you invested most of the time.

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Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

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RE: What is high maintenance? - 7/15/2006 11:09:21 AM   
Morpheus07


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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

The opposite of low maintenance is what?



I think several have given much better descriptions than I am capable of. All I know is that if it is difficult and stilted, it is too high maintenance for this man.

< Message edited by Morpheus07 -- 7/15/2006 11:10:45 AM >

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Its a case of mind over matter, "I don't mind, because you don't matter!"

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RE: What is high maintenance? - 7/15/2006 11:10:15 AM   
WyrdRich


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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

fast reply,

for those who think of this as a pejorative term, I have to ask, do you want a submissive that takes no maintanence at all?



    Absolutely not.  Any relationship worth having is going to require time and work.  When the whims of one start interfering with the obligations of another though, it becomes a problem.

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RE: What is high maintenance? - 7/15/2006 11:32:24 AM   
CreativeDominant


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring

High maintenance is exactly that. Someone who thinks the world revolves around them and sucks up all your energy just to take care of their needs. It has nothing to do with being a "strong" woman. It has everything to do with an "it's all about me" woman. A strong woman can serve very well, a high maintenance woman will never be good at it. That's why they are to be avoided.


Excellently said!!!

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RE: What is high maintenance? - 7/15/2006 11:38:12 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Some opera singers are high maintenance......"mememememememe......"
 
Self absorbed, always needing validation, always with their hand in your piggy bank.... high maintenance can come in many forms.
 
I don't really see what Morpheus and julia described as being high maintenance, more about putting care in the relationship.

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Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

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RE: What is high maintenance? - 7/15/2006 11:40:03 AM   
kittensmailbox


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From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline 		Simple put...Anything that takes up to much time

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RE: What is high maintenance? - 7/15/2006 11:42:10 AM   
juliaoceania


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Some opera singers are high maintenance......"mememememememe......"
 
Self absorbed, always needing validation, always with their hand in your piggy bank.... high maintenance can come in many forms.
 
I don't really see what Morpheus and julia described as being high maintenance, more about putting care in the relationship.


That is what I meant Level. I am thinking in binary opposites I suppose, because I have the exact same reaction to the term low maintenance, which I believe is someone that doesn't value themselves at all, is a doormat, and basically someone that can be ignored because they have such low self esteem they will never leave a situation no matter how bad it is.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: What is high maintenance? - 7/15/2006 11:44:05 AM   
CreativeDominant


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyRed

quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring

High maintenance is exactly that. Someone who thinks the world revolves around them and sucks up all your energy just to take care of their needs. It has nothing to do with being a "strong" woman. It has everything to do with an "it's all about me" woman. A strong woman can serve very well, a high maintenance woman will never be good at it. That's why they are to be avoided.


I agree that is one more definition of high maintenance, but it is often declared that a woman is high maintenance if she even WANTS her own needs addressed, and that is what I have an issue with.


And that would be wrong.  Anyone has a right to want to have their needs addressed.  We all want to have our needs addressed.

Again, it depends on how she wants those needs addressed...in some D/s relationships, the dominant has every intention of, and follows through on, satisfying his submissive's needs but it is done at the time of his choosing, not the submissive's.  In others, the dominant chooses how he will address those needs and it may not be in the way the submissive expects.  There are countless other variations.

Even in vanilla relationships, anyone who expects their needs to be satisfied right now is, at the very least, self-centered. 
Wanting your needs met is one thing...expecting them to be met, right now, is something else.

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RE: What is high maintenance? - 7/15/2006 11:46:37 AM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
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Status: offline 		High Maintenance can have positive or negative connotations..However form the negative connotation to me high maintenance would be a person always demanding always wanting more never satisified, the all about "me" syndrome.Expecting everything they have or recieve as their 'god given right' not appreciative of  what they have.High maintenance postive would be as Julia described....be well..Terry

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RE: What is high maintenance? - 7/15/2006 11:57:56 AM   
Level


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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Some opera singers are high maintenance......"mememememememe......"
 
Self absorbed, always needing validation, always with their hand in your piggy bank.... high maintenance can come in many forms.
 
I don't really see what Morpheus and julia described as being high maintenance, more about putting care in the relationship.


That is what I meant Level. I am thinking in binary opposites I suppose, because I have the exact same reaction to the term low maintenance, which I believe is someone that doesn't value themselves at all, is a doormat, and basically someone that can be ignored because they have such low self esteem they will never leave a situation no matter how bad it is.


See, to me, low maintenance is someone that has a quiet confidence, knows what is expected of them, and takes care of those things, and sees to it that they are not a pain in the fundament .

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to juliaoceania)
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RE: What is high maintenance? - 7/15/2006 12:01:59 PM   
CreativeDominant


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Joined: 3/11/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

fast reply,

for those who think of this as a pejorative term, I have to ask, do you want a submissive that takes no maintanence at all?



No...that would be a person who settles for whatever is handed her. 
I want reasonable maintenance.  I want someone who understands that the relationship she is in with me is a 2-way street.
That while it may not be all about me within the confines of the D/s relationship I like to enjoy, it is definitely not all about her. 

Putting work...maintenance...into a relationship is something that any reasonable person should expect.  Having to do so every other day to keep things going, having a crisis every other day, is not.  At least, not for me. 

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RE: What is high maintenance? - 7/15/2006 12:05:48 PM   
Estring


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See, to me, low maintenance is someone that has a quiet confidence, knows what is expected of them, and takes care of those things, and sees to it that they are not a pain in the fundament .

Exactly. I fail to see anything negative in that. That sounds like what every sub/slave should strive to be.

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RE: What is high maintenance? - 7/15/2006 12:12:10 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring


See, to me, low maintenance is someone that has a quiet confidence, knows what is expected of them, and takes care of those things, and sees to it that they are not a pain in the fundament .

Exactly. I fail to see anything negative in that. That sounds like what every sub/slave should strive to be.


I do not believe my Daddy would necessarily prize a quiet submissive, otherwise he wouldnt be seeing me... as for the other things.. well low mainanence is something that doesn't require a lot of time,.. if what you want is someone that you do not have to invest yourself or time  in, then that would be a good thing I suppose. I have found people tend to spend their time and money on that which they value (hard won knowledge on my part).. if someone doesn't want to invest their time into me, they are just not that into me, and they are not going to get much out of me.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: What is high maintenance? - 7/15/2006 12:13:36 PM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Quiet confidence is not the same as being quiet. And investing time in someone does not preclude them being low maintenance. You are focusing on the word low and seeing that as a negative thing. It isn't always.

< Message edited by Estring -- 7/15/2006 12:16:27 PM >

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RE: What is high maintenance? - 7/15/2006 12:20:40 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I agree that I want to be a trouble free submissive. I prize me Dom being pleased just because I enjoy his happiness. I try to always do everything in a pleasing way. It is his attention and his affection and his pride in my behavior that makes me try even harder to please him.... he feeds me and I feed him.. there is no Ds without each other.

I do not see how a low maintenance relationship would work to preserve this dynamic, without knowing I please him I am probably not going to keep trying.... Im not an insta-sub, add water. He has invested himself greatly all ready, as have I... because we are into each other. I cannot attach myself to someone that sees building that relationship as a low maintanence proposition.. it isn't... it takes hard work on both sides to grow together.. Without mutual investment what is there.

My daddy always says, you get what you pay for, and he seems to show me more and more as time goes on he considers time spent with me an investment of himself. But then again my Daddy loves Fiats though too....smiles.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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