dreamlady
Posts: 737
Joined: 9/13/2007
From: Western MD
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
quote:
ORIGINAL: wannapleez
This seems to imply an existing inclination or predilection for a given activity. I would have to disagree. A true sub establishes hard limits (which the Domme respects) and then hands the keys over to the Domme. His total surrender is consensual, but individual activities are not, necessarily. I'd have left the lifestyle years ago out of sheer boredom if that was the case.
It also skirts on a low, almost derisive view, of the sub ("doesn't want to own it").
It's not a low, derisive view of the sub, as in subs in general, it's a low, derisive view of subs who write to women asking over and over for "forced" fem or bi, while refusing to claim that they want it.
That is different from the scenario you are suggesting, where a relationship is created, then she does what she wants, and he goes along because he's given her the keys. It's still not forced (because, consent, ya'll), but he's also not begging to be forced.
OP, I didn't mean for your thread to go in this direction, so let me explain.
NookieNotes is correct about there being the type of (male) submissive who doesn't want to own his own desires, and hides behind the *standard* "whatever the Domme wants me to do." This sentiment is disingenuous when it involves a sub's hidden desire to do exactly what he is professing he is willing to do for her sake.
It's a form of self-deception, bordering on manipulation. To cut to the chase, it's a load of b.s. in those instances. There are Dommes who will play this silly, little game (which is how I see it), but there are others for whom this type of CNC dynamic is a Hard Limit.
You seem to have taken my comments personally, but I would like for you to view them in the light of my aversion to any "forced" activity, not as a reflection on questioning any given sub's masculinity or heterosexuality for playing panty-wearing games with his Mistress.
It doesn't have to apply to a sub. There are male switches who want to be "forced" to do what they really want to do. The problem I have with this, beyond the scope of fun & games, has to do with a couple being real with one another.
I'll give you a specific example. There are subs and switches who want to be "forced" to have sex with their Domme for whatever reason. It is often wrapped in a humiliation package where both are being sexually objectified by one another.
There isn't a man on this planet that I will ever need or want to be "forced" into a sexual performance. Never. As in Not Ever. I find the very thought absurdly offensive.
While a sub or switch may get off on having sex demanded of him because it makes him feel sexually objectified as a boytoy or a sex slave, or wants to get treated like a bitch whose submission has to be "forced" out of him, that's his thing, not mine.
To put it another way, I refuse to be sexually objectified into sexually objectifying my partner. I don't need to bitch-slap a man to "order" him to do what he should be begging me for the privilege of doing out of eagerness and all-consuming passion for me. I don't need a man to act like a wet rag or an unwilling participant in seeking to please me. Wtf. Any vanilla lover would bring me more pleasure by acting like an ardent lover should by making me feel like the most desirable woman he's ever known.
A man's submission comes enthusiastically and wholeheartedly, or else I don't want it.
DreamLady
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RE: for Mistresses into forced fem - 
k. 
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