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woman bites testicles off a pit bull - 5/29/2015 5:18:27 AM

Lucylastic

Posts: 40310
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definitely in the random stupidity arena is this one

MADISON, West Virginia –

Witnesses told police this week that they pleaded with Boone county resident, Audrey Ranch, 62, to stop hurting her son’s pit bull, but she refused.

“Eventually she bit Pedro’s acorns clean off right there in the front yard,” a witness said. “Pedro hightailed it screeching like a wild Indian and when I tried to subdue Audrey, she knocked me out with an old tricycle.”

Realizing the police had been called and knowing she had time to hide (it is a 45 minute drive to her house), Mrs. Ranch cut off a length of garden hose, dug a hole and had her son help bury her. She used the garden hose as a breathing apparatus.

Officers from the Boone County Sheriff’s Office arrived, unburied Ranch and arrested her without incident.

Ranch explained her actions to police: “My son ate all the meat and I had warned him if he ate all the meat, I’d eat his dog.”

The dog underwent emergency surgery and is expected to make a full recovery. Ranch is facing charges of aggravated animal cruelty.
http://www.moron.com/biting-off-pit-bulls-testicles/?fb_ref=Default

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RE: woman bites testicles off a pit bull - 5/29/2015 11:35:53 AM

stef

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Florida Man has finally got some competition!

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RE: woman bites testicles off a pit bull - 5/29/2015 12:59:50 PM

DaNewAgeViking

Posts: 1009
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Whoa! She'd be right at home on the lists.

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RE: woman bites testicles off a pit bull - 5/29/2015 4:59:59 PM

DarkSteven

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After she dies, I wouldn't be surprised if her son opened up a motel with her.

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RE: woman bites testicles off a pit bull - 5/29/2015 5:03:43 PM

Lucylastic

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

After she dies, I wouldn't be surprised if her son opened up a motel with her.

creepy!!!:)

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RE: woman bites testicles off a pit bull - 5/29/2015 5:13:06 PM

RockaRolla

Posts: 1153
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From: South Florida
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So much WTF in this story.

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RE: woman bites testicles off a pit bull - 5/29/2015 5:26:23 PM

Sanity

Posts: 22039
Joined: 6/14/2006
From: Nampa, Idaho USA
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If I were forced to choose between the two, I think I would rather spend the night with this lovely lady:

Oregon farmer convicted of killing men, feeding to pigs

< Message edited by Sanity -- 5/29/2015 5:29:46 PM >

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RE: woman bites testicles off a pit bull - 5/29/2015 6:00:47 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

definitely in the random stupidity arena is this one

MADISON, West Virginia –

Witnesses told police this week that they pleaded with Boone county resident, Audrey Ranch, 62, to stop hurting her son’s pit bull, but she refused.

“Eventually she bit Pedro’s acorns clean off right there in the front yard,” a witness said. “Pedro hightailed it screeching like a wild Indian and when I tried to subdue Audrey, she knocked me out with an old tricycle.”

Realizing the police had been called and knowing she had time to hide (it is a 45 minute drive to her house), Mrs. Ranch cut off a length of garden hose, dug a hole and had her son help bury her. She used the garden hose as a breathing apparatus.

Officers from the Boone County Sheriff’s Office arrived, unburied Ranch and arrested her without incident.

Ranch explained her actions to police: “My son ate all the meat and I had warned him if he ate all the meat, I’d eat his dog.”

The dog underwent emergency surgery and is expected to make a full recovery. Ranch is facing charges of aggravated animal cruelty.
http://www.moron.com/biting-off-pit-bulls-testicles/?fb_ref=Default

West Virginia.

Says it all.

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Post #: 8

RE: woman bites testicles off a pit bull - 5/29/2015 6:16:37 PM

DerangedUnit

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I can't believe that, she said she would eat his dog and goes straight for the testicles? And that picture didn't even look like she had the teeth to bite anything off

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Post #: 9

RE: woman bites testicles off a pit bull - 5/29/2015 6:28:47 PM

RockaRolla

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From: South Florida
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DerangedUnit

I can't believe that, she said she would eat his dog and goes straight for the testicles? And that picture didn't even look like she had the teeth to bite anything off

Don't you know that's the tenderest part of a male?

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RE: woman bites testicles off a pit bull - 5/29/2015 6:43:12 PM

Dvr22999874

Posts: 2849
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Doesn't a meal usually END with the cheese, coffee, port and nuts ?

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RE: woman bites testicles off a pit bull - 5/29/2015 6:52:52 PM

Wayward5oul

Posts: 3314
Joined: 11/9/2014
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sanity

If I were forced to choose between the two, I think I would rather spend the night with this lovely lady:

Oregon farmer convicted of killing men, feeding to pigs

That shit is straight out of a Criminal Minds episode. Nightmarish.

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Post #: 12

RE: woman bites testicles off a pit bull - 5/29/2015 10:26:12 PM

Delilya

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Aw, come on now. She was hun-gry.

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RE: woman bites testicles off a pit bull - 5/30/2015 7:13:44 AM

smileforme50

Posts: 1623
Joined: 1/24/2013
From: DelaWHERE(?)
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DerangedUnit

I can't believe that, she said she would eat his dog and goes straight for the testicles? And that picture didn't even look like she had the teeth to bite anything off

Those old Appalachian women are TOUGH. Did you ever see "The Beverly Hillbillies"? I can totally picture old Granny Clampett ripping a pair off a dog with just her lips and gums.

What has me shaking my head is the fact that after she did this to her son's dog, her son helped her hide from the cops. I can see him wanting to bury the woman....but then he gives her a hose to breathe???

< Message edited by smileforme50 -- 5/30/2015 7:17:25 AM >

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RE: woman bites testicles off a pit bull - 5/30/2015 7:56:05 AM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
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Aw hell. I had to pay someone to remove my dogs testicles. I didn't know you could just bite them off.

Ok, that was obviously a joke. I'll probably catch hell for it, as it was in poor taste but there was just too much to work with. Low dangling fruit and all. I just had to bite.

Seriously though, if someone did that to my dog, I'd be happy to bury them. Deep. Without a lifeline.

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 5/30/2015 7:58:53 AM >

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Post #: 15

RE: woman bites testicles off a pit bull - 5/30/2015 8:00:50 AM

Lucylastic

Posts: 40310
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quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

Aw hell. I had to pay someone to remove my dogs testicles. I didn't know you could just bite them off.

Ok, that was obviously a joke. I'll probably catch hell for it, as it was in poor taste but there was just too much to work with. Low dangling fruit and all.just had to bite.
Seriously though, if someone did that to my dog, I'd be happy to bury them. Deep. Without a lifeline.

snickers, not from me:) apparently dogs bollocks have a poor taste

The dog is the only one I feel sorry for.

< Message edited by Lucylastic -- 5/30/2015 8:16:51 AM >

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RE: woman bites testicles off a pit bull - 5/30/2015 8:04:10 AM

WinsomeDefiance

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Man I just hate it when my typos are quoted, before I can edit them!

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 5/30/2015 8:05:38 AM >

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Post #: 17

RE: woman bites testicles off a pit bull - 5/30/2015 8:16:28 AM

Lucylastic

Posts: 40310
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quick... look:)

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RE: woman bites testicles off a pit bull - 5/30/2015 9:11:15 AM

WinsomeDefiance

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Lol! Thanks :) although, in retrospect; dandling testicles works too.

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RE: woman bites testicles off a pit bull - 5/30/2015 11:49:25 AM

Sanity

Posts: 22039
Joined: 6/14/2006
From: Nampa, Idaho USA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50

What has me shaking my head is the fact that after she did this to her son's dog, her son helped her hide from the cops. I can see him wanting to bury the woman....but then he gives her a hose to breathe???

Are you kidding?

After what he saw her do to the dog? She probably had blood all over her face, all over the front of her...

He was probably thinking, "Just do whatever she says..."

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