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RE: Taking it up the ass - 6/16/2015 7:12:52 PM

TieMeInKnottss

Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline

Boy Butter makes a desensitizing lubricant... I have never used it. I think it is easier being female (get wet enough in front and don't need much lube) but I have heard a lot of positive reviews on this product from men. It has 7.5%benzocaine, a local anesthetic in it

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 21

RE: Taking it up the ass - 6/16/2015 7:18:35 PM

InHisHeart

Posts: 630
Joined: 3/22/2014
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quote:

ORIGINAL: daniel1973
Discipline is the basis of a good relationship.

I disagree with you. Trust, love, compatibility are the basis of a good relationship IMO and I wouldn't stay in a relationship without those being top priority in a relationship. I was with my former Dom for 27 years, have been with my now Dom for 8 years. There is some discipline in our relationship but it's extremely rare when I'm disciplined and it's not what makes or keeps our relationship a good, strong, healthy relationship.

_____________________________

I don't have a bucket list but my fucket list is a mile long.

I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.

(in reply to daniel1973)

Post #: 22

RE: Taking it up the ass - 6/16/2015 7:25:19 PM

daniel1973

Posts: 243
Joined: 6/16/2015
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Oh you got me wrong there. I meant "discipline" as in "self-discipline".
You take care of yourself because you want your master to be pleased with you.
Sometimes you're sloppy, sometimes you're lazy but you can always count on being straightened out when you need it.
Even the best behaved boy needs to be disciplined sometimes ... the question is who can do it properly?

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 23

RE: Taking it up the ass - 6/16/2015 7:32:37 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daniel1973

Yep I get that. Male sexuality is selfish by nature. It seems that you have to be actually smart to sign up for something better.

In my humble opinion, it's not the gender. It's the person.

(By the way, I don't consider myself smart. That's a myth, too.)

Some people are very considerate lovers. Even if they generally orgasm once and have to do the 'give me twenty minutes' thing or whatever, they try to make you happy. If that hasn't happened after a couple of encounters, maybe it's time to move on.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to daniel1973)

Post #: 24

RE: Taking it up the ass - 6/16/2015 7:46:34 PM

daniel1973

Posts: 243
Joined: 6/16/2015
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I seem to have brazed a touchy subject here :-) Please let me explain myself:
I agreed to the rules. Discipline simply means to abide by them even it is not easy.
Being disciplined means for me to be reminded of the rules and to be motivated to not break them again.

< Message edited by daniel1973 -- 6/16/2015 7:47:23 PM >

(in reply to InHisHeart)

Post #: 25

RE: Taking it up the ass - 6/16/2015 8:09:11 PM

daniel1973

Posts: 243
Joined: 6/16/2015
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It's not a myth, Lady. You know the package when you get it. It comes with a lot of disadvantages.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 26

RE: Taking it up the ass - 6/16/2015 9:22:41 PM

RockaRolla

Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss

Boy Butter makes a desensitizing lubricant... I have never used it. I think it is easier being female (get wet enough in front and don't need much lube) but I have heard a lot of positive reviews on this product from men. It has 7.5%benzocaine, a local anesthetic in it

Numbing agents back there strike me as a bad idea. Pain's supposed to alert you that something is wrong and a numbing agent will cover up those indicators.

_____________________________

~Roxie

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)

Post #: 27

RE: Taking it up the ass - 6/16/2015 9:59:39 PM

WellShinedBoots

Posts: 16
Joined: 5/5/2015
Status: offline

There is a muscle that keeps your asshole shut. Getting fucked in the ass will generally stretch that muscle further than it is usually stretched during non-sexual use.

Compare this to doing the splits - if you have never stretched there's a good chance that doing the splits will hurt. Stretching beforehand or stretching frequently will help.

What this means for anal - go slow (let it stretch) and don't worry if you can't take it all the first few times. It will get easier and feel better with practice. Some people use various sized butt plugs to help stretch the muscle leading up to anal sex.

Also, the anus doesn't do anything special when you get turned on. It doesn't lube up like a vagina usually would. Getting in the mood will help prepare you mentally, and may help you better enjoy the sensations, but it won't do anything for the ass itself. Use lube (too much is almost enough, add more throughout as needed).

As for condoms - many are made with ribs and such. These are probably not good for beginning ass play. Find some smooth ones.

I hope this helps.

(in reply to daniel1973)

Post #: 28

RE: Taking it up the ass - 6/17/2015 12:49:11 AM

daniel1973

Posts: 243
Joined: 6/16/2015
Status: offline

That is very true. Regardless of what happens, one should be aware of it.

(in reply to RockaRolla)

Post #: 29

RE: Taking it up the ass - 6/17/2015 1:03:15 AM

daniel1973

Posts: 243
Joined: 6/16/2015
Status: offline

Yes it helps, thank you. Condom: Over the counter, nothing special, just for protection.
Although: the other guy looked very cute when he was struggling to put it on.

(in reply to WellShinedBoots)

Post #: 30

RE: Taking it up the ass - 6/17/2015 1:18:41 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daniel1973
I seem to have brazed a touchy subject here :-) Please let me explain myself:
I agreed to the rules. Discipline simply means to abide by them even it is not easy.
Being disciplined means for me to be reminded of the rules and to be motivated to not break them again.

No, not at all. I'm all for anybody having the kind of relationship that they want that includes or excludes whatever it is that makes them happy. It's just my opinion that we should understand and respect that those things aren't necessarily the same for everyone. It's kind of an extension of respecting other people's kinks. We also have to respect folks who don't have any kinks, don't want an authority based relationship, etc.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daniel1973
It's not a myth, Lady. You know the package when you get it. It comes with a lot of disadvantages.

Considering my 'package' came in a box, I won't try to disagree with you.

With that being said, I do happen to be of the opinion that foreplay prior to anal sex is the better way to go. It helps to relax you, turn you on, and let's you work up to something bigger. If you're not used to being penetrated or have anal sex regularly, expecting you to just bend over so he can slam it in and pump away isn't really practical. (That's why we have this thread, yes? It was painful for you and you didn't enjoy the experience.) More power to the folks who can do that but he's not having sex with them at the moment. He's having sex (or trying to) with you.

This is just a suggestion. Would it be possible for you to talk to your friend about subjects such as rimming, manual stimulation, or prostate play? (You're going to like that last one. Trust me.) If he doesn't know about these types of foreplay, that's ok. They aren't exactly rocket science to learn. If he's just not willing to engage in such things with you, maybe it's time to evaluate if your friend is the type of sexual partner that is well suited for you.

I do want to wish you the best of luck in your endeavors.

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 6/17/2015 1:19:50 AM >

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to daniel1973)

Post #: 31

RE: Taking it up the ass - 6/17/2015 3:09:46 AM

daniel1973

Posts: 243
Joined: 6/16/2015
Status: offline

"just bend over so he can slam it in and pump away" Yes that was exactly the point. Call me naive but I expected it to be that simple.
Now that I know that it is not I am sure to not try again with that guy - he wants instant gratification not a learning process.
Thank you very much for your attention and good wishes.

PS: Haha! I can't stand humorless people let alone take orders from them.

< Message edited by daniel1973 -- 6/17/2015 3:14:25 AM >

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 32

RE: Taking it up the ass - 6/17/2015 4:57:03 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daniel1973

"just bend over so he can slam it in and pump away" Yes that was exactly the point. Call me naive but I expected it to be that simple.
Now that I know that it is not I am sure to not try again with that guy - he wants instant gratification not a learning process.
Thank you very much for your attention and good wishes.

PS: Haha! I can't stand humorless people let alone take orders from them.

The human body is quite an amazing thing. Some folks would be amazed with what it has the potential to do. Stuff that astounds me on a regular basis. It is simple and yet complex. As for humor, I can promise you that most folks think leather people have no sense of humor. I still try.

Even if this isn't/won't be working out with the person in question, there's still other fun to be had. Other partners, self exploration, and many possibilities. You never know. You might run across somebody who is wonderfully compatible in this area.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to daniel1973)

Post #: 33

RE: Taking it up the ass - 6/17/2015 10:59:29 AM

JVoV

Posts: 3664
Joined: 3/9/2015
Status: offline

There's always pressure/discomfort with anal. It may be that your friend was simply too eager. Try riding him so you have more control, at least to start. Once you're comfortable with him inside you, try finding a position that works for you both. And go slow to start.

Or find a guy with a smaller dick to fuck you, then try your friend again.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 34

RE: Taking it up the ass - 6/17/2015 12:31:20 PM

kdsub

Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline

Male or female I think the positions would be much the same.

But as suggested spend some time working up to the anal penetration… getting him hard and if he is up to it have him rim you…. Feels very good… and also helps with the lubrication if desired.

But when you both feel the time is right… have him lay on his back on the bed. You straddle him and guide his cock to your anus. You have full control here… take as much as you feel comfortable with and as often… but do try to take a little more each time until he fills you as you both desire.

Gradually allow him to take over the thrusting as he holds your hips in his hands... by this time your anus will be relaxed and there will be more pleasure than pain…by the way a little pain in this is desirable I think you will find.

Then you are ready to try other positions that may increase the fun. There are many but three main ones I believe… You are warmed up on the first… try then getting on all fours and have him enter you from behind… This is the best submissive position that many think of when performing anal.

Finally when he is working up to a climax a good deep position is for you to lie on your back at the edge of the bed. Your partner will stand at the edge and you put your legs on his shoulders… This way he can thrust deep into you and you can also masturbate so you both can reach climax together.

Works with my girl anyway…should work for you.

Ps… it is even better if you climax before he does… believe me when you do your anus will contract with each spasm of semen…a great feeling through his cock as he is deep within you… Just feeling your climax spasms and seeing semen shooting on your chest will will have him filling you as well.

Butch

< Message edited by kdsub -- 6/17/2015 1:18:47 PM >

_____________________________

Mark Twain:

I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleasing

(in reply to daniel1973)

Post #: 35

RE: Taking it up the ass - 6/20/2015 10:02:36 AM

PurpleGecko

Posts: 1
Joined: 6/20/2015
Status: offline

Anal play can be very pleasurable. But your partner needs to go at it differently than other types of play. Condoms and lube are a start ... but InHisHeart has it right. There also needs to be some build-up to make those muscles relax. Touching, rimming, fingering, etc. Also, once the penis begins to penetrate, he needs to go very slow. This is especially true with someone who is new on the receiving end. You do not want to play anally with a "hurry up and get it done" attitude. At least not the first few times until you're both more comfortable with the sensations and can relax more quickly.

There are all kinds of butt plugs out there, even ones specifically designed to help with training. Check out Amazon.

(in reply to daniel1973)

Post #: 36

RE: Taking it up the ass - 6/21/2015 10:20:32 AM

daniel1973

Posts: 243
Joined: 6/16/2015
Status: offline

You have no idea how much you are torturing me right now. I described a chance encounter not something I can possibly seek out.

(in reply to kdsub)

Post #: 37

RE: Taking it up the ass - 6/21/2015 10:47:53 AM

daniel1973

Posts: 243
Joined: 6/16/2015
Status: offline

@kdsub: "a little pain in this is desirable I think you will find." Pain inflicted by my master is sweeter than honey.

(in reply to kdsub)

Post #: 38

RE: Taking it up the ass - 6/24/2015 12:31:59 PM

ApertureLash

Posts: 34
Joined: 11/14/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Sucking somebody off doesn't necessarily mean they are going to give you a favor in return. Most males, unless they are multi-orgasmic (or actually give a shit about the partner) are going to cum and be done. (Every female will tell you this.)

Some folks are just selfish lovers. That's not even necessarily a D/s thing, It's a douche bag thing.

I've found, to my astonishment, that my mouth *still works* after an orgasm. I may be the only man alive who'll admit that though.

Daniel - have you thought about trying buttplugs? Starting with a small one and working up to something that has at least the girth of your boyfriend?

You can then prepare a little in private, although bear in mind that you won't have the same psychological pressure to perform, so don't assume that being able to take the plug means you can take the dick. But it can't hurt to try.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 39

RE: Taking it up the ass - 6/24/2015 2:20:04 PM

Arturas

Posts: 3245
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daniel1973

I wanted to let a friend of mine have a go at me as a kind of birthday present.
After a few seconds I had to break it off because the pain was absolutely unbearable.
Condom and lubrication all in place, I tried to relax as much as I could in the situation.
From the videos I'm watching I gather that the pleasure is never on the receiving end ... but I am not a physical coward.
Any ideas, please?

In this context it is no different than starting a flogging session or even vaginal penetration, one must warm the subject up first.

_____________________________

"We master Our world."

(in reply to daniel1973)

Post #: 40

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