NookieNotes
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I was out of town when this thread was started, and I'm just catching up on past threads. I actually wrote a book all about anal, so I'll have a few comments.
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ORIGINAL: RockaRolla
Numbing agents back there strike me as a bad idea. Pain's supposed to alert you that something is wrong and a numbing agent will cover up those indicators.
THIS! SO MUCH THIS! ALL OF THIS!
Seriously, you DO NOT want pain in your asshole. Not because of the pain or how it hurts (although I a a huge fan of avoiding pain), but because things going wrong in that area of your body can go very very wrong.
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ORIGINAL: WellShinedBoots
What this means for anal - go slow (let it stretch) and don't worry if you can't take it all the first few times. It will get easier and feel better with practice. Some people use various sized butt plugs to help stretch the muscle leading up to anal sex.
Yes. Lots of foreplay will relax this area as well. Like tense shoulders, some massage and play around the anus can help you loosen up quite a bit.
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Also, the anus doesn't do anything special when you get turned on. It doesn't lube up like a vagina usually would. Getting in the mood will help prepare you mentally, and may help you better enjoy the sensations, but it won't do anything for the ass itself. Use lube (too much is almost enough, add more throughout as needed).
Too much lube is not enough! LOL! More lube. If you can get lube up inside (coconut oil chilled in fun shapes can be fun to push up in there, and will provide much lube-y fun), that's a wonderful thing as well, because a lack of lube can not only cause pain, but also micro-tears in the super-thin skin of the anus, allowing bacteria and other non-goodies to pass through the skin barrier.
Bad idea.
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As for condoms - many are made with ribs and such. These are probably not good for beginning ass play. Find some smooth ones.
Mostly, though, use lube. More lube. LOTS OF LUBE!
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ORIGINAL: LadyPact
This is just a suggestion. Would it be possible for you to talk to your friend about subjects such as rimming, manual stimulation, or prostate play? (You're going to like that last one. Trust me.) If he doesn't know about these types of foreplay, that's ok. They aren't exactly rocket science to learn. If he's just not willing to engage in such things with you, maybe it's time to evaluate if your friend is the type of sexual partner that is well suited for you.
I do want to wish you the best of luck in your endeavors.
All of this. Every bit of it. Especially the part I bolded.
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ORIGINAL: kdsub
But when you both feel the time is right… have him lay on his back on the bed. You straddle him and guide his cock to your anus. You have full control here… take as much as you feel comfortable with and as often… but do try to take a little more each time until he fills you as you both desire.
This is a VERY good suggestion.
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by the way a little pain in this is desirable I think you will find.
This is not. Masochist or not. Pain just shouldn't happen in the anus... Too much can go horribly wrong back there.
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You are warmed up on the first… try then getting on all fours and have him enter you from behind… This is the best submissive position that many think of when performing anal.
I also believe that it is a mistake to equate any act or position as submissive. The mindset may be, but I can take it doggie-style up the ass with a hand in my hair, and be nowhere near submissive. Especially when I am ordering him to fuck me like a real man, or, so help me God, I will go find one to fuck me right, and him as well...
Just saying.
It's a mindset thing.
If you feel submissive in doggie, by all means, do. Just don't think it is submissive just because of the position and anal play.
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Finally when he is working up to a climax a good deep position is for you to lie on your back at the edge of the bed. Your partner will stand at the edge and you put your legs on his shoulders… This way he can thrust deep into you and you can also masturbate so you both can reach climax together.
Missionary-type positions can also feel the most intimate, because they allow for eye-contact and depth of penetration. Some men are uncomfortable with them.
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Ps… it is even better if you climax before he does… believe me when you do your anus will contract with each spasm of semen…a great feeling through his cock as he is deep within you… Just feeling your climax spasms and seeing semen shooting on your chest will will have him filling you as well.
Agreed.
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ORIGINAL: Arturas
Muiltidimensional stimulation which includes pain elsewhere works best for my subject and me. The women I enjoyed who desires anal while being bound are also focused on their bindings, their helplessness, the recent strips on their cheeks and the wax they wear while suddenly realizing they are being taken anally over the stings of pain administered with the palm of one hand and the pull on their hair with my other hand. I think if they did feel pain they will welcome it as a package of sensations propelling them into sub space.
But it won't ever be a case of just putting it to them. Perhaps a skilled partner would be better. Perhaps not, it is your call.
Yes. Get your pain intentionally in other, safe ways. Perfectly put.
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ORIGINAL: caramelbby
I Love anal play and when I'm at home playing with myself its painless and quite exciting however at home I'm fully relaxed and kneeling at a comfortable position on all fours. when it comes to anal with a partner it hurt like hell, until I learned how to fully relax and take deep breaths. Have your play partner pause while attempting penetration and let it stay inside for a bit because its the in and out motion that really hurts. You also need to train your bumhole on your own with toys steel works the best but a vibrating plug can help you relax there pretty cheap.
Excellent suggestions!
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ORIGINAL: daniel1973
Thanks, caramelbby, that was very helpful.
So there is some kind of pain involved after all whether you want it or not.
That was just my guess. Master doesn't like me to feel pain he hasn't inflicted on purpose :-)
No. There is NOT always pain. If there is pain, you have not relaxed enough. Period. AND, you are risking tearing very sensitive skin.
Take the time to learn about anal. It is an amazing, wonderful pleasure that can be done very very wrong. When it is done right, it is sexy, safe, and pain-free.
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