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Sudden freedom - 7/17/2015 1:24:46 AM   
daniel1973


Posts: 243
Joined: 6/16/2015
Status: offline 		Master tells me that I am no longer his slave. Shock! Does he suddenly not want me?
No, he says, he trained me as best he could but it's time for me to not bend over like a school boy any more.
He will continue to accept me as long as I keep up my duties.

I don't miss the canings ... I do miss the guidance however.

Have you been through that?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Sudden freedom - 7/17/2015 1:30:18 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I did it from the other side. What do you want to know?



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to daniel1973)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Sudden freedom - 7/17/2015 2:25:50 AM   
spellslave


Posts: 246
Joined: 7/16/2015
From: England
Status: offline 		Not personally.

I was a Domme in my first relationship, and that ended badly but strictly in a vanilla sense. Any D/S dynamic was also immediately terminated. In my second (LDR), it was a mutual termination - again I was the Domme but, that was just how it happened.

In my 3-year relationship as a submissive/slave, I was suddenly freed because my Master died. We had discussed the possibility of 'what if' before, and he had ordered me to 'mourn then move on with my life'. I obeyed; just because he was gone, didn't mean that I was going to magically stop following his orders.

I'm now owned. My Master now is a lot more communicative and open to conversations than my former one, so, I like to think that we'd at least negotiate things before and if I was ever suddenly freed, or if the D/S side of our relationship suddenly changed.

_____________________________

Fetlife: spellslave

(in reply to daniel1973)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Sudden freedom - 7/17/2015 4:12:07 PM   
daniel1973


Posts: 243
Joined: 6/16/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I did it from the other side. What do you want to know?




I just wanted to know what to expect, I guess. I wasn't too anxious, Master (I still call him that, although technically no longer required to) knows what he's doing.
And it works! I've made some choices of my own already and didn't disappoint. Master chipped in with suggestions sometimes, that felt like a special reward.

May I ask how it turned out for you?

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Sudden freedom - 7/18/2015 5:24:18 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		I think you handle it like any other break up.

Except that I know that for some whose relationships involved structure and decision making, it adds an additional layer to contend with.

I was always the one to end things, and it was never sudden. It still hurts though, but you move on with dignity and strength.

(in reply to daniel1973)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Sudden freedom - 7/18/2015 6:35:58 AM   
daniel1973


Posts: 243
Joined: 6/16/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I think you handle it like any other break up.


This may be true! I've been avoiding this kind of situation since I've had my heart broken for the first time.

quote:


Except that I know that for some whose relationships involved structure and decision making, it adds an additional layer to contend with.


Exactly! I feel an additional weight on my shoulders. I carry it with grace and I'm still amazed at how my master could have known that I'm able to do it.

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Sudden freedom - 7/18/2015 7:40:16 AM   
daniel1973


Posts: 243
Joined: 6/16/2015
Status: offline 		PS: He keeps me in the "Please, Sir!" state where I would love to bail but not without permission.

< Message edited by daniel1973 -- 7/18/2015 7:43:18 AM >

(in reply to daniel1973)
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RE: Sudden freedom - 7/18/2015 9:33:09 AM   
daniel1973


Posts: 243
Joined: 6/16/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: spellslave

I was suddenly freed because my Master died. We had discussed the possibility of 'what if' before, and he had ordered me to 'mourn then move on with my life'.



I can't even begin to understand what that must be like. My sincere condolences.

(in reply to spellslave)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Sudden freedom - 7/18/2015 10:40:36 AM   
spellslave


Posts: 246
Joined: 7/16/2015
From: England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daniel1973


quote:

ORIGINAL: spellslave

I was suddenly freed because my Master died. We had discussed the possibility of 'what if' before, and he had ordered me to 'mourn then move on with my life'.



I can't even begin to understand what that must be like. My sincere condolences.


It was... difficult. But I have obeyed his order, and now live with a new Master/boyfriend. I mourn my former Master yearly as he would have desired.


_____________________________

Fetlife: spellslave

(in reply to daniel1973)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Sudden freedom - 7/18/2015 11:39:48 AM   
daniel1973


Posts: 243
Joined: 6/16/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: spellslave
It was... difficult. But I have obeyed his order, and now live with a new Master/boyfriend. I mourn my former Master yearly as he would have desired.



How weird is that. The only way I've ever lost someone I care about was my father and he made jokes to the fact on how proud he was of me before I even knew that he was about to die.

I go back to obeying and hope that what's wanted ... although it seems that it's a tad above my pay grade :-)

(in reply to spellslave)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Sudden freedom - 7/18/2015 12:30:08 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daniel1973

Master tells me that I am no longer his slave. Shock! Does he suddenly not want me?
No, he says, he trained me as best he could but it's time for me to not bend over like a school boy any more.
He will continue to accept me as long as I keep up my duties.

I don't miss the canings ... I do miss the guidance however.

Have you been through that?

Still going through it. After 18 years together I lost my Master in a car accident about a year and a half ago. Sometimes I forget he isn't just at work. Lost him, health insurance, my home, all income since I didn't work outside the home and of course the car was destroyed as well. One minute I want to take off to parts unknown..the next I want to start a business and sometimes I just want to forget everything and drown in tequila or go down and rescue every stray at the pound. that last one is how I acquired Gemma..the cat from Hell. People tell me that time cures.. So far..that's a no.. No it does not.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to daniel1973)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Sudden freedom - 7/18/2015 12:57:04 PM   
spellslave


Posts: 246
Joined: 7/16/2015
From: England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daniel1973


quote:

ORIGINAL: spellslave
It was... difficult. But I have obeyed his order, and now live with a new Master/boyfriend. I mourn my former Master yearly as he would have desired.



How weird is that. The only way I've ever lost someone I care about was my father and he made jokes to the fact on how proud he was of me before I even knew that he was about to die.

I go back to obeying and hope that what's wanted ... although it seems that it's a tad above my pay grade :-)


Yes, he'd want me happy - and being a submissive/slave or at the very least, embracing rather than denying my kinky side would fit his wishes of remaining as true to myself as possible. Do I miss him? Yes. Do I still love him? Of course. To assume that when one love dies and another is found that the love for the first is extinguished is... perhaps one of the sillier patterns of thought that I have come across in the past.

_____________________________

Fetlife: spellslave

(in reply to daniel1973)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Sudden freedom - 7/18/2015 1:16:12 PM   
daniel1973


Posts: 243
Joined: 6/16/2015
Status: offline 		That's great and I think that you can consider him happy.

(in reply to spellslave)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Sudden freedom - 7/18/2015 5:46:18 PM   
daniel1973


Posts: 243
Joined: 6/16/2015
Status: offline 		"simon helberg"

Oh my dear god, it isn't actually that bad!

(in reply to daniel1973)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Sudden freedom - 7/18/2015 6:02:20 PM   
daniel1973


Posts: 243
Joined: 6/16/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

So far..that's a no.. No it does not.


Time's a healer! It just takes ... well ... time. Patience is its own reward. And so on.
It really works, they don't call me Daniel San without a reason.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Sudden freedom - 7/18/2015 9:00:52 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I'm not sure I could accept him unilaterally changing the relationship. Once he's ended the existing relationship, then you're free to negotiate what you need to maintain any kind of relationship with him. Or simply to walk away if what he's offering you doesn't work for you.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to daniel1973)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Sudden freedom - 7/19/2015 8:07:51 AM   
daniel1973


Posts: 243
Joined: 6/16/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I'm not sure I could accept him unilaterally changing the relationship.


I can relate to that, it was certainly difficult to accept and, as usual, I wasn't convinced that I could do it.
But that's the paradoxical nature of our relationship: I like to comply with his wishes but I also like it to be hard.

Well he managed to come up with a nice challenge for me alright!

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Sudden freedom - 7/20/2015 12:49:10 PM   
daniel1973


Posts: 243
Joined: 6/16/2015
Status: offline 		Update: I still owe my master an orgasm.

I suggested that maybe he could beat me, I've always liked to jack off afterwards, and he never failed to allow me to relax after I've been in a tough spot.

Master agreed but I just can't bring myself to ask for it. He says: "Believe me you will, it's just a matter of time."

Now he has allowed me to put the former instrument of my punishment in plain view. Very exciting, but still no result.
"You may use your hands!" Still no can do.

Boy, am I sweating! My master loves that and whatever my master loves I love too.

(in reply to daniel1973)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Sudden freedom - 7/20/2015 8:42:47 PM   
JVoV


Posts: 3657
Joined: 3/9/2015
Status: offline 		I've had to set two slaves free, both after 4 and 5 years. The most recent was because his Mistress went up his nose. Addiction isn't something I can tolerate, and he knew this from the beginning. When he refused rehab, it was time to be done.

The first still hurts the most, because I've never been so happy as I was with him. But he's truly bi, and needed things I couldn't give him. He has those now; a beautiful wife and an adorable son. But he was & is my brat, so still visits regularly. The wife thinks I'm his uncle.

(in reply to daniel1973)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Sudden freedom - 7/20/2015 9:59:45 PM   
FelineRanger


Posts: 658
Joined: 9/4/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble
Still going through it. After 18 years together I lost my Master in a car accident about a year and a half ago. Sometimes I forget he isn't just at work. Lost him, health insurance, my home, all income since I didn't work outside the home and of course the car was destroyed as well. One minute I want to take off to parts unknown..the next I want to start a business and sometimes I just want to forget everything and drown in tequila or go down and rescue every stray at the pound. that last one is how I acquired Gemma..the cat from Hell. People tell me that time cures.. So far..that's a no.. No it does not.


Maybe you and I are the outliers on "recovering" from breakups because I feel much the same as you do. After a divorce, a broken engagement, and a third long term relationship that ended abruptly, I've come to the conclusion that none of it really heals. You just learn how to function with the pain just the same as you would if you had a physical injury. Most days, my bad back lets me get through a day with minimal intrusion. But every once in a while, it reminds me that I was in one hell of a car accident. Emotionally, I'm very much the same. It's not the uplifting cliche you may have wanted but it is the honest truth.

_____________________________

Bill

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 20
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