RE: Oral Sex (Calling Ron!!) (Full Version)

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dreamlady -> RE: Oral Sex (Calling Ron!!) (9/14/2015 3:26:33 AM)

Not to change the subject, or anything like that, but it's been alluded to and so I'll add my two cents to this discussion.

Oral sex is sex, which should be self-evident, and imo non-BDSM (non-kinky) sex acts are neither inherently Dominant nor submissive.

As a corollary, it should come as no surprise that there are D-types and s-types who cannot make the distinction that Topping is not necessarily the domain of a Dominant, and bottoming is not reserved exclusively for submissives.

For the longest time it struck me as supremely ironic that there were (sadistic) Tops who by virtue of identifying as a Dominant, would not be caught dead doing any BDSM bottoming (receiving).
There are s-types (who may or may not be masochistic bottoms) who would not be caught dead doing BDSM Topping (giving).

And yet, these same types who stick to their rigid D/s delineations, have no qualms about doing a mental flip-flop insofar as oral sex is concerned.
All of a sudden, giving oral becomes a submissive act; and receiving oral becomes an act of dominance.
According to their own logic then, for those who cannot extricate themselves from holding contradictory viewpoints, and going by the standards they have imposed upon themselves,
How is it that this sort of cognitive dissonance has become the prevailing attitude among so many Dominants and submissives?

And when did sexual acts between partners for their mutual pleasure where BDSM is not the focus, or otherwise not applicable to D/s dynamics, become an issue of unDommliness or unsubbliness? [rhetorically speaking] [sm=2cents.gif]

DreamLady



DerangedUnit -> RE: Oral Sex (Calling Ron!!) (9/14/2015 3:46:38 AM)

I think ive stated on here before that I find receiving absolutely icky(feels like slugs in your panties...slimy things wiggling around down there... no thanks)

But it has nothing to do with it not being submissive.

In general I'd like to say that quitting oral sex was one of the best things I ever did for my sex life next to the hitachi.

Ive gone down on girls while in a dominant role... I dont like it so standing there going ew ew while they licked me wouldnt be dominant or comfortable for anyone. Ive also gone down on guys in a dominant way. For me the distinction is in who has control of the situation, making them lose themselves is half the fun(or all of it... trying to think of another half)

But I haven't done oral in any capacity in years now and have to say, it's wonderful. Why waste cum in your mouth when you can actually get something out of it. I used to just be indifferent to it "ah guys are lazy they want me to do the work" now, couldnt possibly come up with a reason to give head. There are holes that feel something for a reason why do people feel the need to find any hole that cant orgasm to stick it in. The world seems so much clearer now.



Greta75 -> RE: Oral Sex (Calling Ron!!) (9/14/2015 5:43:58 AM)

I HATE receiving oral sex! HATE it so much. I get no pleasure from it. My x-dom used to lick me just to punish me as I hated it so much!

But I will tolerate it if a man I love, enjoys giving oral sex.

But what I do notice is, it is more common within submissive women to hate oral sex than dominant women.

Perhaps for me, I like positions of domination. And physical actions of domination. And giving oral sex to me seems to be submissive thing, I just don't like a man on his knees in my pussy. And even if I face sit him or whatever, I still find that position me in dominant position.

Maybe that's what not enjoyable for me.

In physically dominant positions in any sexual interaction, I get super turn on.



shiftyw -> RE: Oral Sex (Calling Ron!!) (9/14/2015 5:45:08 AM)

I hate receiving.
i love giving, the act of giving gets me going, receiving makes me clam right up.

If we ever have it it's because he wants to so badly. I am submissive in bed and won't step on his toes about that stuff.

I find most folks are exaggerating their skills in that area. I've never cum from oral and it's awkward, so I've just started avoiding doing it because I don't want to make someone's dick sad. Every guy comes in with "But I'm the best!" and they aren't going to make me cum and I spend the next hour consoling them and hearing about how something must be wrong with me. So now I only do it if they'll get something out of it besides my orgasm.

I love giving head though, male or female, I think it's fun. *shrugs*



crumpets -> RE: Oral Sex (Calling Ron!!) (9/14/2015 12:39:05 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: JVoV
It's an awkward position to be in for any amount of time. Plus faces are kinda bony.


Well, you can always put a soft padded mask and strap-on dildo gag on that otherwise kinda bony face!



crumpets -> RE: Oral Sex (Calling Ron!!) (9/14/2015 1:02:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss
I have never been a fan of oral sex being performed on ME...


quote:

ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul
I am not that hot on receiving it.


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
I prefer not to have oral sex performed on me.


quote:

ORIGINAL: DerangedUnit
I find receiving absolutely icky(feels like slugs in your panties...slimy things wiggling around down there... no thanks


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
I HATE receiving oral sex! HATE it so much. I get no pleasure from it.


quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw
I hate receiving.


Wow. Just wow.
If this is true, I understand women (overall) even less than I THOUGHT I understood them.
This is a pretty shockingly large percentage of the posters of this forum - something around or even above 50% (although, it's a self-selected reporting mechanism).
Nonetheless, I'm surprised at the sheer NUMBERS of women, who posted here, saying they didn't like oral sex performed on them.

I'm not sure I understood all the reasons though - but the "feels icky" reminds me of someone licking my armpit or my ear or my nipples (which is merely annoying) - in which case I can start to visualize the feeling the women who don't like oral sex performed on them are trying to explain.



mnottertail -> RE: Oral Sex (Calling Ron!!) (9/14/2015 1:47:08 PM)

I think there are both men and women who like oral sex, and both men and women who dislike it. The side of the sheets is not an indicator of their desire.

You got your bell curve, even in kink, yanno?

Me? I am in the massive love the lipstick on my dipstick deviation and percentile.

If someone is offering an airstart and can use their tongue like the ropestart on a suzuki string trimmer, I am the Codex Romanus of the perfect statistic for that little job.



JVoV -> RE: Oral Sex (Calling Ron!!) (9/14/2015 2:05:43 PM)

See, I enjoy getting good head. But if there's any teeth on my dick, I'm done. And if they can't deepthroat, then they're useless to me.



BitaTruble -> RE: Oral Sex (Calling Ron!!) (9/14/2015 2:09:34 PM)

I like my sex to involve more than just my cunt. Oral sex may be sex, but it sure as hell ain't fucking. ;)

I want that hot breathe over me, those eyes peering into my mine so deep that it makes me blush
and when his cock stroke matches that it makes me gasp. I want that crushing weight on my chest,
those fingers tangled in my hair and those words of damnation whispered like a love song in my ear.

I better not going into backwards or I won't get another word written! ::laughs::

Anyway, oral sex - there is no 'body'. Might as well be by myself and have a quick B.O.O.
if the only purpose is to orgasm. Much more efficient and gives me time to make cookies after.



NookieNotes -> RE: Oral Sex (Calling Ron!!) (9/14/2015 2:46:14 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes

Ahhh. I have a lot to say on this, and expect I will, a bit later. I have to get packing. Heading to the OBX today for a week with my FemDom crew!

*smiles*

But, for the record:

1. I love oral - giving AND receiving (dominant, just for reference).
2. I am very active. Thrashing, wiggling, holding his hair, ears, sitting on his face, talking extremely dirty...
3. Being eaten is sexual and pleasurable, but also very powerful.
4. I feel the same way about giving head.


To follow up, more on this:

1. I love oral - giving AND receiving (dominant, just for reference).
LOVE IT. I love giving oral. The taste, the scent, then feeling of a cock growing in my mouth, a pussy unfolding below me...

Receiving it. Oh damn. When it's done right, I'm in heaven. Multiple orgasms, crazy-making ones that have the neighborhood dogs howling with me.

My Pet has been dubbed the Maestro by several, because that's the word we use for "a man who can give you the best sex you've ever had without fucking." He only fucks me.

2. I am very active. Thrashing, wiggling, holding his hair, ears, sitting on his face, talking extremely dirty...
So, yeah. I don't just lay there. I fuck his face, paint it with me. I slide on top of him and ride his face, I make it VERY hard for him to breathe. I 69 him, or just sit and tease him while he licks. I love pulling him into me. I love, love, love saying naughty things to him while he licks me. It's all about the connection. It can be incredibly loving one day, and raunchy the next.

3. Being eaten is sexual and pleasurable, but also very powerful.
Receiving is very powerful for me. It is one way he shows his desire for me, his need to please, his submission to me. However, from his side, he is playing my body like a fiddle, making it his instrument, making me sing for him. He is eliciting each response. He is pulling the every shudder and shake out of me.

4. I feel the same way about giving head.
Sure, it can be worship. And as a dominant, I have no problem with that. If I'm not able to worship and give thanks for the cock that belongs to me, what kind of dominant am I?

And it's very powerful to take him in my mouth. To feel him engorge. To feel his body react to me. To take him higher and higher. To pause when I wish. To tease. To make him orgasm at any time.

So much power in giving as well as receiving.

Now, this is MY opinion. If anyone doesn't like oral, that's cool. Preferences are valid. For me, a partner that didn't like either giving or receiving would not last long.



crumpets -> RE: Oral Sex (Calling Ron!!) (9/14/2015 5:17:11 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail
I think there are both men and women who like oral sex, and both men and women who dislike it.


I guess there's always an otlier, but, are there really any men who don't like getting a good blowjob?



crumpets -> RE: Oral Sex (Calling Ron!!) (9/14/2015 5:19:35 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: JVoV
if they can't deepthroat, then they're useless to me.


Unfortunately, deep throat doesn't work with me.
I know this will be seen (by the ladies) as idle boasting, but, it almost can't be done.
Sad. Very sad. The luck of the draw.

But, the moment I say that, I realize that I must immediately don my nomex flame suit, because the flames will be a' comin' fer' sure.

Nonetheless, I STILL like that 3/4 of a blow job on any day, any hour, and any minute of the week!



Kana -> RE: Oral Sex (Calling Ron!!) (9/14/2015 6:02:16 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss

Not something I NORMALLY bring up but...I am trying to be more "true" to myself when I describe what I like and do not like...

I have never been a fan of oral sex being performed on ME...(I love to give...not so much to receive). I discard profiles of men who extort how they love to please women and can go down for hours...

Since becoming more upfront, I have heard a few times, "makes sense...slaves usually prefer to be the givers." A couple of men that identify as masters have gone as far as to say that they never perform oral sex on slaves since (not to be crude BUT) "since slave holes are for filling...not licking".

So, I ask...

1) Is the giver/receiver idea true? It has been also pointed out that it is even a difference between subs and slaves. Regardless of gender, do those on the sub/slave side really prefer to give? For me, part of it is I HATE laying there with nothing to do LOL...I just assumed it was because of my ADHD!
2). Is it really just vanilla guys trying to get laid with the whole "I LOVE to go down on a woman" claim? it seems like every guy now swears that it is their favorite activity!
3) if you like receiving..WHY?? Ok, men, I get the attraction...Women. Why? Other than the whole "nothing to do" I have never known a man that could be as rough and aggressive with his tongue as he can be with his dick.


Kana taketh, but He does not giveth.

And I'm straight up about it.
One of us belongs on their knees, mouth open.
It ain't Me.



DerangedUnit -> RE: Oral Sex (Calling Ron!!) (9/14/2015 6:30:09 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets


quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail
I think there are both men and women who like oral sex, and both men and women who dislike it.


I guess there's always an otlier, but, are there really any men who don't like getting a good blowjob?


Ive had two owners who didn't like head(both also were missing parts of their tongue.... correlation? Maybe...)

One I managed to change his mind but he still liked sex better. The second I didn't even try to change his mind. Im not going to work my ass(errr jaw) off trying to manage that when it makes him uncomfortable anyway.



JVoV -> RE: Oral Sex (Calling Ron!!) (9/14/2015 6:50:46 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets


quote:

ORIGINAL: JVoV
if they can't deepthroat, then they're useless to me.


Unfortunately, deep throat doesn't work with me.
I know this will be seen (by the ladies) as idle boasting, but, it almost can't be done.
Sad. Very sad. The luck of the draw.


I've heard that from guys. I've also heard guys say they can't get off with just oral.

It always sounds like a challenge to me.



TieMeInKnottss -> RE: Oral Sex (Calling Ron!!) (9/14/2015 7:24:51 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana



Kana taketh, but He does not giveth.

And I'm straight up about it.
One of us belongs on their knees, mouth open.
It ain't Me.



And this is exactly where I was going..I am noticing a trend that seems to break along the "master vs dom" and "sub vs slave" line. Especially those that limit themselves to the "M/s" dynamic...

Another thing I am noticing is that, like me, many slave types don't consider "enjoying" "thrashing" " squirming" to be "doing something". I was initially surprised by the number of people who interpreted "Not doing anything" as someone laying flat on their back...literally NOT moving. To me, if I am not actively pleasuring my partner then I am not DOING anything...




dreamlady -> RE: Oral Sex (Calling Ron!!) (9/14/2015 7:41:08 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes

For me, a partner that didn't like either giving or receiving would not last long.

Any man who wasn't totally thrilled about giving me head wouldn't make it anywhere near partner status. [:-]
(But I know what you mean with pretenders -- there are manipulative people who use the promise of oral sex to lure others into having a one-night stand with them, or who only do it until they've snagged a partner.)
I have been with men who only enjoyed doing it with me and hadn't enjoyed going down on a woman before.
I have known men who hadn't enjoyed getting sucked on with their previous partners. Not every man is keen about receiving. Some are too hypersensitive. Yeah, they got cured of that.

crumpets, we may not see eye to eye on a number of other subjects, but you can count me among those women for whom cunnilingus is mandatory. But so is intercourse, and switching things up.
And JVoV is right, facesitting is not the most comfortable position for the sitter. Lots of pillow cushions help (have never tried to use a queening chair). It also helps to have the man grab a hold of the woman's buttocks for her to brace herself, along with supporting her weight with the headboard or whatever else she can grab onto. . . (like his hair and his head [;)]).

Nookie, I won't say that I enjoy giving, because I basically don't, not the whole drawn-out mess. They don't call it a job for nothing. [>:] I can do it, but I'd rather be engaging in other sex acts.
It took me, oh a couple of decades thereabouts to finally admit to myself that I enjoy the teasing aspect of it, and playing around with my man's cock much more than bringing him to orgasm via oral -- what a waste!
When you're younger and have a youthful partner, then recovery time isn't much of an issue. As men age, well, they get spent quickly, and that's no fun, especially when they pass out on you when you're still raring to go. [:(]

DreamLady



longwayhome -> RE: Oral Sex (Calling Ron!!) (9/14/2015 8:56:07 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady

Oral sex is sex, which should be self-evident, and imo non-BDSM (non-kinky) sex acts are neither inherently Dominant nor submissive.

As a corollary, it should come as no surprise that there are D-types and s-types who cannot make the distinction that Topping is not necessarily the domain of a Dominant, and bottoming is not reserved exclusively for submissives.

For the longest time it struck me as supremely ironic that there were (sadistic) Tops who by virtue of identifying as a Dominant, would not be caught dead doing any BDSM bottoming (receiving).
There are s-types (who may or may not be masochistic bottoms) who would not be caught dead doing BDSM Topping (giving).

And yet, these same types who stick to their rigid D/s delineations, have no qualms about doing a mental flip-flop insofar as oral sex is concerned. All of a sudden, giving oral becomes a submissive act; and receiving oral becomes an act of dominance.
According to their own logic then, for those who cannot extricate themselves from holding contradictory viewpoints, and going by the standards they have imposed upon themselves,
How is it that this sort of cognitive dissonance has become the prevailing attitude among so many Dominants and submissives?



I have to admit to sharing this exact thought.

I always loved giving oral as an act in itself, whether with submissive overtones or not, whilst when it came to receiving I could take it or leave it. I thought it was pleasant but not particularly erotic. Interestingly how I viewed receiving changed completely when a dominant partner, who loved giving, helped make receiving a supremely erotic mental and physical experience for me.

Given my personal experiences, I have therefore always found it strange that there is often the confused and contradictory relationship between a certain acts, topping and bottoming, and dominance and submission that DreamLady describes.

Depending on the context, giving/receiving, topping/bottoming and dominance/submission are surely different axes, so there should be no contradiction in, for example, a male dominant enjoying his female partner's sitting on his face or pegging him.

People's kinks are absolutely there own business, but there is certainly "cognitive dissonance" in the false restrictions and protocols some impose on themselves. Paradoxically BDSM sometimes seems more hidebound by convention than the vanilla world.

Anyway focusing on the OP, as a submissive, I feel fortunate to have learned so much from others and, as a result, had my menu of turn-ons so comprehensively enhanced. As a result I love giving and receiving oral as sexual acts in their own right, and as acts erotically charged with power exchange.

In answer to the second question, I can honestly say that I have never used my enjoyment of oral pleasure as a selling point to "get laid", but I would always prefer that someone liked me rather than a specific turn on or skill. I'm sure however that men looking to impress would be only too willing to do so.



crumpets -> RE: Oral Sex (Calling Ron!!) (9/14/2015 9:05:57 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: JVoV
I've also heard guys say they can't get off with just oral.


I think "getting off" is so immensely complicated, that it's far more mental than physical, don't you think?

I mean, when I want to hold off, I think of my mother or my many sisters or something that makes me go limp(er) like an Excel spreadsheet or how transistors are doped ... and no ... I don't mean that I think of any of this stuff sexually ... I just mean that you control your orgasm with synapses ... not with specific physical actions (at least I do).



NookieNotes -> RE: Oral Sex (Calling Ron!!) (9/15/2015 4:09:25 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
Nookie, I won't say that I enjoy giving, because I basically don't, not the whole drawn-out mess. They don't call it a job for nothing. [>:] I can do it, but I'd rather be engaging in other sex acts.
It took me, oh a couple of decades thereabouts to finally admit to myself that I enjoy the teasing aspect of it, and playing around with my man's cock much more than bringing him to orgasm via oral -- what a waste!
When you're younger and have a youthful partner, then recovery time isn't much of an issue. As men age, well, they get spent quickly, and that's no fun, especially when they pass out on you when you're still raring to go. [:(]


Well, I do love keeping it going for hours... between the oral and the hands and the toys...

Regardless of the age.

*grins*



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