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RE: What is low maintenance? - 7/17/2006 10:18:23 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
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A submissive who is low maintainance, makes you dinner, never questions a thing, and spanks herself when her dominant has a headache...
 
Peace and Rapture


_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to Elevenses)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: What is low maintenance? - 7/17/2006 11:07:03 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

There's a big difference between a girl with an occasional problem, vs one in the habit of creating problems-where none exist.


I agree.... High Maintenance are just Attention Seekers in my opinion... be they Dominant or Submissive.  As attention seekers they do very much as you suggest... create problems where none exist.  As I think more about the terms... I also consider that they are looking for someone else to solve thei problems or fix their feelings.  High Maintenance people tend to be on a path of co-dependency.  Low Maintenance are more independent minded and self-motivated to solve their own problems.  They get involved in inter-dependent relationships and look their partner(s) to support them in solving problems and solve their problems.

I am not a high maintenance individual... I don't require alot of direct attention, but I do expect that my partners are doing their part to add value to the relationship... just as I do.  I live a Power Enhancement Relationship...   I don't seek to maintain!  I seek to Enhance!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Caretakr)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: What is low maintenance? - 7/17/2006 11:14:04 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		KoM, I am wondering where people get their definitions with such certainty. Is there no room for subjectivity?

One person's low maintenance is another's high maintenance

One person's high maintenance is anothers low maintenance..

It really is all just opinion isn't it? It isn't all back and white., is it?

Just some thoughts.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: What is low maintenance? - 7/17/2006 11:26:07 AM   
Caretakr


Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

KoM, I am wondering where people get their definitions with such certainty. Is there no room for subjectivity?

One person's low maintenance is another's high maintenance

One person's high maintenance is anothers low maintenance..

It really is all just opinion isn't it? It isn't all back and white., is it?

Just some thoughts.


There's nothing "subjective" as to how much time gets eaten up by another individual.

You only need to log the hours.

Let me put it this way.

I have resented those who took my time.

I have enjoyed those who shared my time.

And I have treasured those who MADE me time.


(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: What is low maintenance? - 7/17/2006 11:28:08 AM   
SexyRed


Posts: 529
Joined: 8/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

There's a big difference between a girl with an occasional problem, vs one in the habit of creating problems-where none exist.


I agree.... High Maintenance are just Attention Seekers in my opinion... be they Dominant or Submissive.  As attention seekers they do very much as you suggest... create problems where none exist.  As I think more about the terms... I also consider that they are looking for someone else to solve thei problems or fix their feelings.  High Maintenance people tend to be on a path of co-dependency.  Low Maintenance are more independent minded and self-motivated to solve their own problems.  They get involved in inter-dependent relationships and look their partner(s) to support them in solving problems and solve their problems.

I am not a high maintenance individual... I don't require alot of direct attention, but I do expect that my partners are doing their part to add value to the relationship... just as I do.  I live a Power Enhancement Relationship...   I don't seek to maintain!  I seek to Enhance!


I like that, Power Enhancement; it sounds more positive and everyone should be ehanced and empowered in their relationships, be they Dominants or submissives.

_____________________________

A trucker will slow down for a blonde, stop for a brunette, but back up 500 yards for a redhead!


(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: What is low maintenance? - 7/17/2006 11:30:07 AM   
Caretakr


Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyRed

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

There's a big difference between a girl with an occasional problem, vs one in the habit of creating problems-where none exist.


I agree.... High Maintenance are just Attention Seekers in my opinion... be they Dominant or Submissive.  As attention seekers they do very much as you suggest... create problems where none exist.  As I think more about the terms... I also consider that they are looking for someone else to solve thei problems or fix their feelings.  High Maintenance people tend to be on a path of co-dependency.  Low Maintenance are more independent minded and self-motivated to solve their own problems.  They get involved in inter-dependent relationships and look their partner(s) to support them in solving problems and solve their problems.

I am not a high maintenance individual... I don't require alot of direct attention, but I do expect that my partners are doing their part to add value to the relationship... just as I do.  I live a Power Enhancement Relationship...   I don't seek to maintain!  I seek to Enhance!


I like that, Power Enhancement; it sounds more positive and everyone should be ehanced and empowered in their relationships, be they Dominants or submissives.


They very best dynamics, are those which amplify ability, by sharing it.

(in reply to SexyRed)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: What is low maintenance? - 7/17/2006 11:32:43 AM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr
...
I have resented those who took my time.

I have enjoyed those who shared my time.

And I have treasured those who MADE me time.


Caretakr, you ornery ol' thing...sometimes you put things just brilliantly! 

(in reply to Caretakr)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: What is low maintenance? - 7/17/2006 11:34:07 AM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		Low maitenance implies someone who is laid back, does not take a lot of time and energy to get ready to go out, is not a drama queen or king, is not an attention-monger, and is just generally down-to-earth. 

In other words, it's me in a nutshell. 

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to Elevenses)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: What is low maintenance? - 7/17/2006 11:56:27 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

There's nothing "subjective" as to how much time gets eaten up by another individual.

You only need to log the hours.

Let me put it this way.

I have resented those who took my time.

I have enjoyed those who shared my time.

And I have treasured those who MADE me time.


I agree.... It rather factual on how much time of my time is shared with another individual.... The question is what benefit this time was.

Maintenance implies time to Maintain the Existence of the relatioship.... High implies ALOT of time... Low implies less time.

Now... I don't know about you... but I rather spend Less of my time just maintaining the relationship and ALOT more time Enhancing it!  When I hear HIGH Maintenance... I hear less time for Enhancement of the relationship.



_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Caretakr)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: What is low maintenance? - 7/17/2006 11:58:21 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyRed

I like that, Power Enhancement; it sounds more positive and everyone should be ehanced and empowered in their relationships, be they Dominants or submissives.


I have used this phrase for a long time.... it evolved largely because of my continued distaste for the term Power Exchange.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to SexyRed)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: What is low maintenance? - 7/17/2006 12:01:09 PM   
Caretakr


Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

There's nothing "subjective" as to how much time gets eaten up by another individual.

You only need to log the hours.

Let me put it this way.

I have resented those who took my time.

I have enjoyed those who shared my time.

And I have treasured those who MADE me time.


I agree.... It rather factual on how much time of my time is shared with another individual.... The question is what benefit this time was.

Maintenance implies time to Maintain the Existence of the relatioship.... High implies ALOT of time... Low implies less time.

Now... I don't know about you... but I rather spend Less of my time just maintaining the relationship and ALOT more time Enhancing it!  When I hear HIGH Maintenance... I hear less time for Enhancement of the relationship.




The more time we spend running in place,the less to move forward.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: What is low maintenance? - 7/17/2006 12:02:12 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

KoM, I am wondering where people get their definitions with such certainty. Is there no room for subjectivity?

One person's low maintenance is another's high maintenance

One person's high maintenance is anothers low maintenance..

It really is all just opinion isn't it? It isn't all back and white., is it?

Just some thoughts.


Yes it's subjective.... but... I contend... one is much better with less time spent on maintaining the relationship and more time spent on enhancing it.... since Time is a limited resource....I much prefer more High Enhancement over High Maintenance.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: What is low maintenance? - 7/17/2006 12:02:24 PM   
Caretakr


Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr
...
I have resented those who took my time.

I have enjoyed those who shared my time.

And I have treasured those who MADE me time.


Caretakr, you ornery ol' thing...sometimes you put things just brilliantly! 


Naw, I have to give credit where it is due Bearlee.

It's a quote from Anton Lavey.

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: What is low maintenance? - 7/17/2006 12:16:31 PM   
LiliesDoGrow


Posts: 106
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline 		Caretakr. You've been burned. We get it!

958 post later.

Sheesh!

Still, you do add much spice to the threads. But then again, I love high maintenence, high strung, highly emotional guys.

<grin>

(in reply to Caretakr)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: What is low maintenance? - 7/17/2006 12:16:51 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

KoM, I am wondering where people get their definitions with such certainty. Is there no room for subjectivity?

One person's low maintenance is another's high maintenance

One person's high maintenance is anothers low maintenance..

It really is all just opinion isn't it? It isn't all back and white., is it?

Just some thoughts.


Hello julia,

I have similar thoughts, though I quite like the way KoM described it because it actually removes the rather irritating notion that *high maintenance* means LOTS of attention and that *low maintenance means little. I think it's what KIND of attention and why.

I rarely ask for attention of the destructive kind......I might have to *get along* without attention that I'd REALLY like, often....but I think I obviously get enough of the kind of attention that makes me contented to remain his slave.

Regards, agirl





(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: What is low maintenance? - 7/17/2006 12:30:36 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		fast reply

I have noted in my time on planet Earth that Earth men tend to bitch about high maintenance women and then turn around and chase them incessantly. It is a very weird thing. A woman wearing expensive clothing, sporting a tanning bed tan, having received 1000s in plastic surgery, and that is no-nonsense in the behavior they expect from their suitor tends to land the very best of men. While the female that is down-to-earth usually gets taken forgranted. I do not know how many of my single friends have bemoaned  doing everything they can for a guy just to be dumped on.

I have experienced this myself when I was much younger. Let a guy get away with taking you to fast food for every date..they tend to treat you like fast food. I remember a very good piece of advice that I would put out there for women... Men value what they spend their money on, and if they are not willing to spend it on you, that probably means they do not value you..

The above has not settled well with me as I make my way by myself in the world.. I am technically a low maintenance kinda gal, down to earth... I hate salons, cut my own hair, do my own nails, and buy no name brand of clothing that I get on sale. I am a single mom after all. I would rather hike than go to Disneyland with its 8 dollar cokes and 20 dollar hamburgers. I would rather not indebt my Dom for a few dates. I would rather he take care of what he needs to, and help him do so... and that our time be better spent on enjoyment rather than having him stressed about other things that I distract him from.

But then I come to the realities of the real world.. many men do not feel invested unless they make an investment. I did not make life this way, I am just reporting my findings.. I do not know if this applies for dominant men, but it sure applies to the vanilla world, complain about the many bitches that took your energy, time and money.. there must have been something about them that attracted you, because most men certainly have had experience with the high maintenaince type. I think it is wanting the woman that everyone else wants, maybe to find she was just too damn expensive on every level to keep around? Im not sure.. but it is interesting nonetheless.

I cannot change my temperment completely, but I have to say, I do not like feeling like fast food either.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Caretakr)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: What is low maintenance? - 7/17/2006 12:38:35 PM   
LiliesDoGrow


Posts: 106
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline 		Girlfriend! You should think about getting into the ministry!

I was hallelujahing the entire time I was reading your post.

In agreement with your assessement.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: What is low maintenance? - 7/17/2006 12:52:17 PM   
BeingChewsie


Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Elevenses

I have seen this term, "low maintanance" mentioned  often and wonder what it means exactly.


I know my owner considers me low maintenance, probably not as low maintenance as he would like but that is another discussion. I asked him in what way am I "low maintenance"?

His answer: "You put very few, if any demands on me."

So that is one Owner's perspective on low maintenance.

(in reply to Elevenses)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: What is low maintenance? - 7/17/2006 6:30:37 PM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LiliesDoGrow

Caretakr. You've been burned. We get it!

958 post later.

Sheesh!

Still, you do add much spice to the threads. But then again, I love high maintenence, high strung, highly emotional guys.

<grin> 


Huh?  Did I miss something?  Where did THAT come from?

(in reply to LiliesDoGrow)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: What is low maintenance? - 7/17/2006 6:40:02 PM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NakedOnMyChain

Low maitenance implies someone who is laid back, does not take a lot of time and energy to get ready to go out, is not a drama queen or king, is not an attention-monger, and is just generally down-to-earth. 

In other words, it's me in a nutshell. 





Thats me too!!

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.


(in reply to NakedOnMyChain)
Profile   Post #: 40
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