RE: What can a Goddess possibly offer. (Full Version)

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UllrsIshtar -> RE: What can a Goddess possibly offer. (10/10/2015 4:19:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: J0K3ER

you said Texas not Dallas


I said Dallas cupcake. Learn to read:


quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

A few weeks before the Leather conference, I rode my motorcycle down to Dallas,




J0K3ER -> RE: What can a Goddess possibly offer. (10/10/2015 5:17:30 PM)

I did not read this one ,my bad, but I remember from past conversations that you regularly travel to TX, to where exactly? You didn't say



UllrsIshtar -> RE: What can a Goddess possibly offer. (10/10/2015 5:28:47 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: J0K3ER

I did not read this one ,my bad, but I remember from past conversations that you regularly travel to TX, to where exactly? You didn't say


That was the first time I've ever been to Texas, so I have no idea what you're rambling about.



J0K3ER -> RE: What can a Goddess possibly offer. (10/10/2015 5:33:17 PM)

Hey Goddess, I can't remember everything people say here , and I told you I did not read that one, I am not rambling it is not a big deal



UllrsIshtar -> RE: What can a Goddess possibly offer. (10/10/2015 5:56:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: J0K3ER

Hey Goddess, I can't remember everything people say here , and I told you I did not read that one, I am not rambling it is not a big deal



If you don't remember what people said, you can go back and read... instead of continuously claiming that you know and remember things people didn't say at all...



J0K3ER -> RE: What can a Goddess possibly offer. (10/10/2015 6:02:00 PM)

Ok Goddess, how about a nice apology? I am sorry I did not read



dreamlady -> RE: What can a Goddess possibly offer. (10/10/2015 7:29:48 PM)

This is what I get for rushing earlier today. [>:]

I had absolutely read that as "FemDom" instead of "FinDom."

Yet another reason why I don't like the term FemDom. It sounds and reads too much like FinDom.

Also, with Fem(ale) Dom(inant), instead of Dominant female, the emphasis is on what type of Dominant instead of the type of woman.
It is code for "I just want [any] female to Top me," rather than "I want a [specific kind of] woman to be in charge of and to lead this relationship."

The former is merely some man's piece on the side, his fetish & kink delivery system;
The latter is about making an ownership commitment to belong to one Mistress wholeheartedly.

DreamLady



J0K3ER -> RE: What can a Goddess possibly offer. (10/10/2015 8:25:54 PM)

No worries dream, you are always a préciated, and held in higher esteem.
You are right, dang! How come I let that slip ?Fem(ale) Dom(inant) it has no linguistic sense , I may have been startled when I first known this ( femdom) term by the correspondent term, kingdom, I have always thought femdom meant the kingdom of females . I think *dom* in femdom was intended to be used as a prefix



seekingreality -> RE: What can a Goddess possibly offer. (10/10/2015 9:02:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: J0K3ER

My 2nd question, in case a Goddess and a slave/sub enter in a relationship, under the absolute authority of the Goddess, what kind of guarantees and sureties can the slave/sub obtain and is entitled to, knowing that goddesses don't like to be negotiated , it is their way or the highway , .



Any relationship -- be it BDSM or vanilla -- will likely be short-lived if you don't feel you can openly and honestly communicate with the other person. The best approach is simply be a real person, not a character.



J0K3ER -> RE: What can a Goddess possibly offer. (10/10/2015 9:17:55 PM)

Can't agree more, communication is the key for ANY relationship to succeed or"fail" I think you can only be on character in those quick itch scratching encounters, but in a vanilla D/s relationship a friend informed me just lately it can exist, and it was proven to have existed there no way for character taking.
It gonna be a normal life whether the woman wears the pants in the relationship or the man.



seekingreality -> RE: What can a Goddess possibly offer. (10/10/2015 9:23:31 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble


quote:

ORIGINAL: J0K3ER
My 2nd question, in case a Goddess and a slave/sub enter in a relationship, under the absolute authority of the Goddess, what kind of guarantees and sureties can the slave/sub obtain and is entitled to, knowing that goddesses don't like to be negotiated , it is their way or the highway


The dominants with whom I have been acquainted, regardless of gender, do not negotiate. Personally, I work from the premise of "show me your path" .. Then I decide whether or not I want to follow. I would not ask for a dominant to compromise their wants or needs for me. If they did I would dump them. It is so much better to start from a path the Dom enjoys and which will make me joyful to follow because it is natural to both of us. Mmv



I think, in any relationship, people are searching for a partner who shares their core values and who satisfy their mutual needs. But, whether BDSM or vanilla, there is always give-and-take in terms of the details. I rarely have encountered situations where a domme says, "My way is A-B-C. Your choice is to accept that without discussion/comment/disagreement or leave." People rarely match up 100% in anything; the key is whether they match up in the important things.



seekingreality -> RE: What can a Goddess possibly offer. (10/10/2015 9:27:39 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: J0K3ER

Can't agree more, communication is the key for ANY relationship to succeed or"fail" I think you can only be on character in those quick itch scratching encounters, but in a vanilla D/s relationship a friend informed me just lately it can exist, and it was proven to have existed there no way for character taking.
It gonna be a normal life whether the woman wears the pants in the relationship or the man.


In the best BDSM relationships I've had, it took a while before we even discussed anything related to BDSM. We got to know each other as human beings first. And if you regard a woman as a human being first rather than some sterotypical conception of a "goddess," you're not afraid to talk and not afraid to be yourself. If you are worried that your genuine self won't connect with her, and you'll miss out on the chance of some short-term fun, then you can go ahead and be a character and try to get some short-term fun. That's your call.



J0K3ER -> RE: What can a Goddess possibly offer. (10/10/2015 9:40:36 PM)

[sm=needahug.gif] self identification is the starting point,



BitaTruble -> RE: What can a Goddess possibly offer. (10/10/2015 10:18:13 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingreality

I think, in any relationship, people are searching for a partner who shares their core values and who satisfy their mutual needs.


I don't see how that's different than what I wrote. Show me your path, show me your core values.. same, same.

quote:

But, whether BDSM or vanilla, there is always give-and-take in terms of the details.


I honestly can't think of a single thing of value that either one of us had to give/give up or take/take away from the other to make the relationship work.

quote:

I rarely have encountered situations where a domme says, "My way is A-B-C. Your choice is to accept that without discussion/comment/disagreement or leave."


I very much appreciate straight forward A-B-C.. take it or else. It's clear, concise and makes it quite easy for me to see if it's a path I want to follow. ABC never leaves me wondering.

quote:

People rarely match up 100% in anything; the key is whether they match up in the important things.


Michael was a staunch believer in the death penalty. I wavered. Other than that, can't think of anything important and that subject was never a deal breaker anyway. The small stuff.. in my head that's one of the perks of being the dominant party. You get all the small stuff as part of the perk package.

His path was extraordinary and I followed it all the way to the end. Now, of course, mine is the only highway available so I have no choice but to choose a mode of transportation and move.








seekingreality -> RE: What can a Goddess possibly offer. (10/10/2015 11:06:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble


quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingreality


I rarely have encountered situations where a domme says, "My way is A-B-C. Your choice is to accept that without discussion/comment/disagreement or leave."


I very much appreciate straight forward A-B-C.. take it or else. It's clear, concise and makes it quite easy for me to see if it's a path I want to follow. ABC never leaves me wondering.





Hey, if that works for you great. I need things more interactive. And like I said, I rarely encounter dommes who take this approach. Most of them actually want to know how I think and feel about things. And if they don't want to know or don't care how I feel and think, it's a bad, bad sign, and we won't last long.



BitaTruble -> RE: What can a Goddess possibly offer. (10/11/2015 12:54:46 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingreality

Most of them actually want to know how I think and feel about things.


If you have the same core values and their path is appealing.. don't they already know what you think? I mean, you wouldn't be following them otherwise, right?

quote:

And if they don't want to know or don't care how I feel and think, it's a bad, bad sign, and we won't last long.

But you wouldn't be on a path with someone like that would you? That's exactly why I want to know 'their' ABC's.. to make sure they match 'my' ABC's. If they are XYZ.. what I think won't matter because that's not the path I'm following anyway.

By interacting do you mean arguing? I'm really not getting it. I will get it, eventually, but folks here can tell you I'm a little slow and it takes a minute.

By way of explanation, I was in a relationship for 18 of the last 20 years (and in mourning for the last 20 months) .. and My Way or the Highway was pretty standard for both Michael and I when our steps brought our separate journey's into the same place .. so to see this more egalitarian approach is something new for me now that I'm being exposed (so to speak!) to so many different personalities on the other side it is much different than I was just fresh outta the box. Honestly, Daddy's existed but it meant something completely different so.. it's a new world and I'm an old lady.

I'll probably come around and .. I dunno, buy a new whip or something. I may not be a dominant, but I do have the tiny little sadist thing that I'm still, maybe, overly fond of and it's been wanting to come out more and more lately. ::grins::











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