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People Are Entitled? - 10/25/2015 8:25:38 PM   
cindyluvNY


Posts: 26
Joined: 9/29/2015
Status: offline 		I have my own circle of friends, mostly but not all, who are into BDSM. We talk and chat and sometimes go to Munches. I belong to this site and another forum site. Most of my group are women but a few men.

I was talking to a dominant man and he said that when he meets a submissive he is entitled to have sex with her. When he dates and spends money on her he is entitled to sex. Sadly, I know other men who feel entitled to have sex. And other things too. I asked him why does he think he's entitled to have sex with someone he just met?

He said if he is going to train her to be his submissive/slave, he wants compensation, mainly in the form of sex. He said dominant women get compensated. He has to pay a tribute. Her entitlement is money. If not money, then she is entitled to a massage, foot pedicure, etc. I told him but those are pro-dommes. They do this for a living. He went on ranting saying women expect this and that too.

I thought about it and it does seem like everyone feels "entitled." But I don't understand that thinking. If I meet someone, he/she doesn't owe me anything and I don't owe him/her anything.

With the exception of being treated with respect, why do people think they are "entitled?"
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: People Are Entitled? - 10/25/2015 8:37:14 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cindyluvNY

With the exception of being treated with respect, why do people think they are "entitled?"


Nothing.

Not even respect.

This is framed in our kid's bedrooms, and they actively get taught it (in fact, the topic was hit upon again tonight in relation to recent behavior):

http://www.harrybrowne.org/articles/GiftDaughter.htm

That being said, people feel entitled to all kinds of weird stuff.

I recently had an argument with a MtF pre-op transexual (via a RadFem forum) where she argued that, because she's a woman, her (currently unaltered) genitalia, are female genitalia, and therefore equal to a vagina. And because she was a lesbian with a (penis shaped) vagina, she was entitled to have cisfemale (cis means none transsexual, natural born females) lesbians attracted to her.
And that if a cisfemale lesbian said that she wasn't attracted to the pre-op MtF, because she still has her penis, that's incredibly trans-phobic and misogynistic.

People feel entitled to all kinds of fucked up shit. Whether it makes sense or not.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to cindyluvNY)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: People Are Entitled? - 10/25/2015 8:39:13 PM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline 		I generally do not allow a man to pay for me unless I am having sex with him.

I do think it's not very nice for a woman to lead a man on, and have him buy her so many things, pay for things, and then refuse sex.

I like a man footing the bill alot, because I feel taken care of. I think it's a very manly and gentlemanly action and gesture.

But at the same time, yes, I still also meet gentlemen who insist on paying for all the ladies on the table and not expecting anything in return, because his the man, and he provides.

But to expect that attitude from every man is expecting sainthood.

(in reply to cindyluvNY)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: People Are Entitled? - 10/25/2015 8:54:25 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

With the exception of being treated with respect, why do people think they are "entitled?"

They're human?

A longer answer might be that advertisers, marketers, and politicians (of all stripes) have found there's money and power to be had by inculcating a sense of entitlement among people:

-- I work hard, so I'm entitled to . . .
-- I come from a rough background, so I'm entitled to . . .
-- I'm a veteran, so I'm entitled to . . .
-- I'm a weary mom, so I'm entitled to . . .
-- I'm young, so I'm entitled to . . .
-- I'm old, so I'm entitled to . . .

You get the idea.

As for the dominant man you were talking to, his perspective strikes me as yet another example of how everything and everyone is a commodity in a world where people regularly use the verb "monetize" with no sense of irony. In a book I've long since discarded and otherwise forgotten, a character makes the sage point that in a society that values only money and youth, people will wind up exchanging one for the other.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to cindyluvNY)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: People Are Entitled? - 10/25/2015 8:58:22 PM   
J0K3ER


Posts: 211
Joined: 10/9/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar


quote:

ORIGINAL: cindyluvNY

With the exception of being treated with respect, why do people think they are "entitled?"


Nothing.

Not even respect.

This is framed in our kid's bedrooms, and they actively get taught it (in fact, the topic was hit upon again tonight in relation to recent behavior):

http://www.harrybrowne.org/articles/GiftDaughter.htm

That being said, people feel entitled to all kinds of weird stuff.

I recently had an argument with a MtF pre-op transexual (via a RadFem forum) where she argued that, because she's a woman, her (currently unaltered) genitalia, are female genitalia, and therefore equal to a vagina. And because she was a lesbian with a (penis shaped) vagina, she was entitled to have cisfemale (cis means none transsexual, natural born females) lesbians attracted to her.
And that if a cisfemale lesbian said that she wasn't attracted to the pre-op MtF, because she still has her penis, that's incredibly trans-phobic and misogynistic.

People feel entitled to all kinds of fucked up shit. Whether it makes sense or not.

Medusa, you *****Ah ah! That's not allowed. Be nice or be moderated!***** . you threatened me if i dont send you a gift from your amazon wish list you will block me. I still have the emails from you and from amazon , do you want me to upload a picture for verification? dont play mother Teresa here. what is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.

< Message edited by M38284 -- 10/26/2015 7:01:51 AM >

_____________________________

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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Profile   Post #: 5
RE: People Are Entitled? - 10/25/2015 9:09:55 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Medusa, you ferme ta putain de gueule. you threatened me if i dont send you a gift from your amazon wish list you will block me. I still have the emails from you and from amazon , do you want me to upload a picture for verification? dont play mother Teresa here. what is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.

That you, Domiguy?

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to J0K3ER)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: People Are Entitled? - 10/25/2015 9:17:08 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: J0K3ER

Medusa, you *****Ah ah! That's not allowed. Be nice or be moderated!*****. you threatened me if i dont send you a gift from your amazon wish list you will block me. I still have the emails from you and from amazon , do you want me to upload a picture for verification? dont play mother Teresa here. what is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.


Exactly cupcake...
I don't owe you interaction. You wanted interaction, demanded it, felt entitled to it.
So I told you that if there was going to be interaction, it would be on my terms.
You found those terms unacceptable, so I denied you what you were demanding: interaction.

I don't owe you interaction.
You don't owe me meeting my terms to get what you want.

Meanwhile I see your grapes are still sour...

< Message edited by M38284 -- 10/26/2015 7:02:05 AM >

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to J0K3ER)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: People Are Entitled? - 10/25/2015 9:26:55 PM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: online
quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice

quote:

Medusa, you *****Ah ah! That's not allowed. Be nice or be moderated!*****. you threatened me if i dont send you a gift from your amazon wish list you will block me. I still have the emails from you and from amazon , do you want me to upload a picture for verification? dont play mother Teresa here. what is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.

That you, Domiguy?


Is that possible? Could Domiguy ape idiocy so consistently through dozens of posts?

< Message edited by M38284 -- 10/26/2015 7:02:21 AM >

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to dcnovice)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: People Are Entitled? - 10/25/2015 9:40:20 PM   
J0K3ER


Posts: 211
Joined: 10/9/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar


quote:

ORIGINAL: J0K3ER

Medusa, you *****Ah ah! That's not allowed. Be nice or be moderated!*****. you threatened me if i dont send you a gift from your amazon wish list you will block me. I still have the emails from you and from amazon , do you want me to upload a picture for verification? dont play mother Teresa here. what is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.


Exactly cupcake...
I don't owe you interaction. You wanted interaction, demanded it, felt entitled to it.
So I told you that if there was going to be interaction, it would be on my terms.
You found those terms unacceptable, so I denied you what you were demanding: interaction.

I don't owe you interaction.
You don't owe me meeting my terms to get what you want.

Meanwhile I see your grapes are still sour...


Medusa, you are wrong, I did not demand interaction, do not speak of what you cannot prove. where did i demand interaction with you? I still receive emails every day from people who did not dare to ask me for amazon gift. I can prove it I am not shy at all. what sets you apart ? and I am not against you personally. you are just a little version of a Belgian medusa. I AM AGAINST FINDOMME period. I always show them their favorite cup of tea, BUT they never get to drink it. but with you I am still pissed off that i had to spend 30 minutes on the phone to get things straightened out. WTF. but guess what that wish list department is not gonna attempt such a thing again . because i reported it to a higher level supervisor. a customer CAN now cancel the transaction even AFTER the item has been shipped.
my grapes are tropical. you cannot taste them if you are coming from a GUD place like Montrose or even Belgium.

< Message edited by M38284 -- 10/26/2015 7:02:34 AM >

_____________________________

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: People Are Entitled? - 10/25/2015 9:46:51 PM   
J0K3ER


Posts: 211
Joined: 10/9/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2


quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice

quote:

Medusa, you *****Ah ah! That's not allowed. Be nice or be moderated!*****. you threatened me if i dont send you a gift from your amazon wish list you will block me. I still have the emails from you and from amazon , do you want me to upload a picture for verification? dont play mother Teresa here. what is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.

That you, Domiguy?



Is that possible? Could Domiguy ape idiocy so consistently through dozens of posts?

spirittroll you either show me some level, or the hide button will be your medication.you are not worth violating the TOS .
56 years ya zebi in absolute ignorance.

< Message edited by M38284 -- 10/26/2015 7:02:50 AM >

_____________________________

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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Profile   Post #: 10
RE: People Are Entitled? - 10/25/2015 9:53:40 PM   
ReMakeYou


Posts: 147
Joined: 1/20/2012
Status: offline 		People want various things, and will come up with all sorts of rationalizations why they're owed whatever those things are. I'm a little surprised to see the word "entitled", but only because my circles are prone to more high-minded rationalizations.

BTW. Anyone who thinks that people come in magical castes where one is automatically above the other is someone to get very far away from. It's a popular rationalization (to get someone to give you what you want without having to put in the effort), but that very context says everything you need to know about the person.

(in reply to J0K3ER)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: People Are Entitled? - 10/25/2015 10:00:39 PM   
J0K3ER


Posts: 211
Joined: 10/9/2015
Status: offline

_____________________________

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(in reply to Spiritedsub2)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: People Are Entitled? - 10/25/2015 10:14:32 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I dunno. I figure, regardless of who pays and who asks whom, if I go on a date with a woman, I am entitled to:

1. Good conversation, or at least an attempt at it.

2. An honest and serious look at me as prospective relationship material (on whatever relationship basis we should expect based on profiles and previous interactions).

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to J0K3ER)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: People Are Entitled? - 10/25/2015 10:16:59 PM   
J0K3ER


Posts: 211
Joined: 10/9/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ReMakeYou

People want various things, and will come up with all sorts of rationalizations why they're owed whatever those things are. I'm a little surprised to see the word "entitled", but only because my circles are prone to more high-minded rationalizations.

BTW. Anyone who thinks that people come in magical castes where one is automatically above the other is someone to get very far away from. It's a popular rationalization (to get someone to give you what you want without having to put in the effort), but that very context says everything you need to know about the person.

you are surprised at the word " entitled " I am not. I am surprised at the "ACTION" of feeling or believing entitled to something.

_____________________________

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(in reply to ReMakeYou)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: People Are Entitled? - 10/25/2015 10:20:33 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: J0K3ER

but with you I am still pissed off that i had to spend 30 minutes on the phone to get things straightened out.


Sweetheart, it's not my fault that you decided to buy something, and then changed your mind after you jerked off.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to J0K3ER)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: People Are Entitled? - 10/25/2015 10:27:42 PM   
J0K3ER


Posts: 211
Joined: 10/9/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I dunno. I figure, regardless of who pays and who asks whom, if I go on a date with a woman, I am entitled to:

1. Good conversation, or at least an attempt at it.

2. An honest and serious look at me as prospective relationship material (on whatever relationship basis we should expect based on profiles and previous interactions).

yes you are entitled to a good conversation. good conversation means clearly and honestly unveil your goals as well as your plans and why you are sitting down with that person and having a conversation with them. and same rights applies to you. this is a give and take relationship. you are offering something in return of something else. if equivalency requirements are not met , a walk away is no rule violation.

_____________________________

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: People Are Entitled? - 10/25/2015 10:31:27 PM   
J0K3ER


Posts: 211
Joined: 10/9/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar


quote:

ORIGINAL: J0K3ER

but with you I am still pissed off that i had to spend 30 minutes on the phone to get things straightened out.


Sweetheart, it's not my fault that you decided to buy something, and then changed your mind after you jerked off.

that is mere assumption, no proof can support your allegations. but the question is why could i not cancel the transaction without having to call customer service and then cancelation specialist and finally wish list department.
now you contradict with what you said earlier remember, you wanted to give me a task that wont put me on the wanker land. remember . what happened to your logic goddess of logic ?. either you were lying like usual when you wrote that ( i can find the original post ) or to vindicate your actions? .....
and you gave me 30 minutes time window right? if i dont buy the gift I would be blocked, well I believe I am blocked, LOL. I have known an anecdote that serves as a good analogy for this specific case. I may tell you the story if you dont STFU.

< Message edited by J0K3ER -- 10/25/2015 10:49:00 PM >

_____________________________

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: People Are Entitled? - 10/25/2015 10:56:58 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: J0K3ER

that is mere assumption, no proof can support your allegations. but the question is why could i not cancel the transaction without having to call customer service and then cancelation specialist and finally wish list department.


No idea why you had to call them. I don't run Amazon.


quote:

ORIGINAL: J0K3ER

and you gave me 30 minutes time window right? if i dont buy the gift I would be blocked, well I believe I am blocked, LOL.


Yup. I told you that if you didn't buy something, you'd be blocked.

You didn't buy something... so you're blocked.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to J0K3ER)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: People Are Entitled? - 10/25/2015 11:04:48 PM   
Bunnicula


Posts: 420
Joined: 4/7/2014
Status: offline 		I'd never met this sense of entitlement until I started online dating.

When I'd been dating people prior to that I only ever dated people I knew and was sure they were decent human beings with no major entitlement issues. I also paid my own way - makes life a lot easier in the early days!

Online, I found a whole different mindset. Some guys thought that buying a cup of coffee entitled them to sex. Seriously. Trust me, Costa coffee isn't even worth a half-hearted fap never mind a full-blown shag!

So I started getting there a few minutes early and buying my own coffee. Most guys didn't have a problem buying their own coffee and having a chat. A couple got annoyed that I expected them to buy their own - they were usually short meets.

In the end I made it clear before we met that there would be no sex, no attempts at domination, we'd buy our own coffees and we'd talk and get to know each other.

That weeded out the wankerfartbubbles pretty damn quickly, usually admit cries of 'fake' and 'wannabe'



_____________________________

"You are THE MAN!!" - some_random_internet_asshole
"You're not a very nice bunny" - some_random_internet_asshole's_sock


Wanna chocolate raisin?

Previously known as 'myotherself' or simply 'da bunny'

(in reply to cindyluvNY)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: People Are Entitled? - 10/25/2015 11:07:50 PM   
J0K3ER


Posts: 211
Joined: 10/9/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar


quote:

ORIGINAL: J0K3ER

that is mere assumption, no proof can support your allegations. but the question is why could i not cancel the transaction without having to call customer service and then cancelation specialist and finally wish list department.


No idea why you had to call them. I don't run Amazon.


quote:

ORIGINAL: J0K3ER

and you gave me 30 minutes time window right? if i dont buy the gift I would be blocked, well I believe I am blocked, LOL.


Yup. I told you that if you didn't buy something, you'd be blocked.

You didn't buy something... so you're blocked.

I had to call them because I could not cancel the transaction from my end, even the customer service representative whom i called could not cancel it, even the cancellation specialist could not cancel it either. because the so called wish list department had blocked the cancellalation pursuant to Ishtar's request. NO f in way. I could bring too much trouble upon that department if I wanted to, except they had apologized and recognized their mistake.
Ishtar I can read on your profile that you are married, and honest to God i am not into married women,. I am against findomme and you happened to be one so i am against you.
and your biggest mistake that i dont forgive ......you know what.

_____________________________

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 20
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