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RE: Safe, Sane and Consensual - 7/18/2006 5:01:38 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunshine119
Most Christians today take Xian or Xmas as an insult.  As for the dictionary?  It lists only Xi'an as the capital of a provence in China. (Isn't that where they have the buried warriors?)  Enough of this however, I'm not up to arguing how many angels can dance on the head of a pin today.  Peace.

Sunshine



Nice post, Sunshine, very nice.  I also looked up Xian, online.  I checked 7 different websites.  6 of the 7 were online dictionaries which only showed Xi'an, the Chinese provence.  The 7th turned out to be an Atheist site which had condescending things to say, using Xians as their subject...

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RE: Safe, Sane and Consensual - 7/18/2006 6:30:48 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EnglishDomNW

I haven't actually looked through the boards to see if this is covered elsewhere so if it is, excuse me.

Safe, Sane and Consensual.

I understand the "Safe", nobody should be taking part in anything that is otherwise, however it's played out. And the "Consensual" is absolute and beyond question.

But why "Sane" ? I don't get this part at all. I was trying to think what part of "Sane" isn't already covered by "Safe" or "Consensual". Surely it can be as insane as you like.

Englighten me someone.

This topic always seems to be good for bringing on arguments.

Personally, you can look at almost all that we do...whether it be BDSM or D/s or M/s...and consider none of it, from a certain perspective, to be "safe" (don't you know how badly you can get hurt doing that? Look at how badly you are hurt) or "sane" (nobody in their right mind would do that.) or "consensual" (you have to be in your right mind to consent to something and nobody who would/would not hurt/control-be controlled like that could possibly be in their right mind nor would anybody who would want "that"). You can hear variations on those statements from people within the D/s BDSM community itself spoken about others within the D/s BDSM community.

For me, it comes down to what I think of as safe, sane, and consensual for both myself and my partner. If she sees something as safe/sane and I don't, that doesn't necessarily mean that one of us has to be wrong, it just means that there is going to have be further research/exploration/discussion about that area before we venture there.

(in reply to EnglishDomNW)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Safe, Sane and Consensual - 7/18/2006 7:47:25 PM   
GddssBella


Posts: 343
Joined: 2/24/2004
Status: offline 		G'evening all:


S.S.C. is basically a comforting little mantra that people tell themselves to find some justification for W.I.I.T.W.D. Makes them feel like their wires are in line. I'll let you in on a secret... It's hogwash. There's nothing safe in B.D.S.M. It's not sane to beat the piss out of someone for fun. It can be normal to an individual's personality or a sub culture of society, depending on your view. We're just slightly off skew of what's perceived as typical. {shrugs}

Now R.A.C.K. I find is a more encompassing term as it addresses more vital elements that make up this alternative lifestyle. Remaining aware of the risks, exercising consensualality and incorporating kink into the mix.

This doesn't mean I'm going to beat my boy so hard I'll break bones or cause nerve damage but he does so love having a few "pretties" to show off as badges of honor to our friends. Every time he accidentally rubs across one and has to stifle an "Ouch!" at work just makes him remember me fondly and look forward impatiently to seeing me again.

As many have pointed out prior to my post, it's about interpretation. Everyone has different levels at which they play or view this topic. In the end? Do what feels good, so long as your partner(s) consent. Do be ready to see views that may not coincide with your own as this is a public forum.


Stay safe, play nice, & share your toys w/ others...





Bella

_____________________________

Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly shouting..."Wow! What a ride!"

(in reply to EnglishDomNW)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Safe, Sane and Consensual - 7/18/2006 7:49:37 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Noah, you crack me up. I love reading your posts; I actually have looked for them, because they always have somethingof substance to say, and are usually full of incisive wit, besides.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/18/2006 7:50:48 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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RE: Safe, Sane and Consensual - 7/18/2006 9:46:46 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		LOL Susan! You have a guy who comes to your house every week trying to get you to join the Jehovah's witnesses?
I have the cure for that!
Make up one of those "Bhurka" things that muslim women wear and greet him at the door with "PRAISE ALLAH!!!!"
He won't be back!

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Safe, Sane and Consensual - 7/18/2006 9:54:25 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		I am just too nice to this guy. I've told him I am a Catholic, and am not switching religions, but these folks have to sell their religion as part of their belief system and it's required activity, and every week he gives me pahmploets and wants to chat for a half hour on my porch about why his is best for me. I feel kinda sorry for this guy, actually. If I told him I never wanted him to come to my house again, he'd probably go away. But last time, I gave him a soft drink. So, it's my fault. He isn't scary, so much as a wee bit pathetic.

I cannot join any religion that actually believes that only X__ number of people (no more, no less) will enter heaven. I just can't get my head around that, no matter how hard I try. I am not a good prospect for this guy, and he should know it by now, because I've said it many times.

- Susan 

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/18/2006 9:55:16 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to popeye1250)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Safe, Sane and Consensual - 7/18/2006 10:06:30 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Yeah, I was raised Catholic too, BOTH parents went to Parochial school and I have a problem with that x number of people going to heaven thing also.
What if Catholics (don't?) lol
C'mon, you have to have some kind of fun with this guy! lol
When I lived in New Hampshire I had Holy Rollers living right next door to me in a duplex house. I owned my side, they rented theirs.
They hated my friends, my brother's Harley, fireworks, cookouts, anything "fun." Mrs Holy Roller would be out in the front yard preaching to people! One time I dropped trou on her and even nut-flapped her! The neighbors were ROARING laughing!
I finally had it with them!
I superglued a big pink Dildo on my front porch railing right next to theirs! They went BALISTIC! lol The Cops came down and everything! Restraining order on me, when I went to court Mr. Holy Roller had the Dildo hanging out of his back pocket! Even the Sherriffs were laughing!
One day I heard a big thump outside. It was a U-Haul rental truck! lol

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Safe, Sane and Consensual - 7/18/2006 10:19:13 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

I am not sure John was in fact referring to Christians but I will.

I find most Christians fair game for one of two reasons
  • They forget that Christ was about being nice and pious and are all for hating and persecuting anyone for anything they feel like and in general have no problem with bombing and killing anyone who stands in their righteous path.
  • The others are silent about the above


There are of course exceptions to this, Jimmy Carter being a prominent one.  You may be one, I have no idea.


I think Douglas Adams said it best when he indicated that something happened "2000 years after a man had been nailed to a tree because he said how great if people were nice to each other for a  change."

But thats just me, and I could be wrong.

Sinergy

_____________________________

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"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Safe, Sane and Consensual - 7/19/2006 12:40:38 AM   
KennelDeSade2


Posts: 210
Joined: 9/19/2004
Status: offline 		"There is a thin like between genius and insanity, and around here, we use it for dental floss."
I consider informed consent of absolute importance.  The rest, I'll let others quibble over.


_____________________________

Rules? Just one: I say, she does.
Everything else, is just details.

(in reply to EnglishDomNW)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Safe, Sane and Consensual - 7/19/2006 1:15:44 AM   
shivvy


Posts: 746
Joined: 3/25/2006
From: Ireland, living in Kent, England.
Status: offline 		lol @ Susan & popeye - we're catholics too, and my dad's a lay preacher and church warden, and we had 2 jehovah's witnesses come round (they always travel in pairs round where i live), and my dad invited them in for a coffee, and it took them about two and a half hours to escape
 
they still come round though, just not the same two... i think they musta left the country or something already
 
luv,
 
shiv
xx

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(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•.εΐз¸¸.·*´¯`v´¯`*·.¸¸ـ εΐз ~*luv shivvy*~ ـ εΐз

xxx
Owned and collared by SavageFaerie and Master P

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Safe, Sane and Consensual - 7/19/2006 2:12:22 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Well, I kind of feel sorry for them, because their religion requires them to prostyletize (sp?) (push their religon on other people). But I am not joining. Not now, not ever. I try to keep him on the porch (I have an enclosed front porch w/chairs and a porch swing), although - if he comes this week, it is so hot, I may just not answer the door (and save him time), or invite him into the A/C'd house. But, if I do invite him in - I am going to say: "Hey, bud - I think your time may be better spent elsewhere. Not trying to be rude, but we both know I am not going to join."
And see how that works.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/19/2006 2:55:07 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to shivvy)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Safe, Sane and Consensual - 7/19/2006 9:04:37 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
Yup - so most people know I am a christian.
 
Xian doesn't really bother me - I dont see it as an insult, but at the same time I don't answer to it.  If I see someone using it, to me, it's no better than someone using txt speak(No offense John).  It's just a shorter and lazier way of writing another description of someone.  I am sure some people want to use it as a type of insult... but it's only one if you let it be.
 
Peace and Rapture


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.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Safe, Sane and Consensual - 7/19/2006 9:12:55 AM   
Caretakr


Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline 		I wonder how a Wicca might take it, if I reffered to them as a

"pgn"

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Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Safe, Sane and Consensual - 7/19/2006 10:00:48 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Here is a transcript of a speach about the subject. The person speaking is slave david stein. he is the one who began this credo.

http://www.leatherleadership.org/library/safesanestein.htm

Master Fire


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RE: Safe, Sane and Consensual - 7/19/2006 12:37:43 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Susan!!! You gave him a soft drink???
Don't you know what that means in Jehovah Witnessdom!!!???
Oh man! You're going to be raising your right hand for sure now!!!

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Safe, Sane and Consensual - 7/19/2006 1:39:03 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunshine119
Most Christians today take Xian or Xmas as an insult.  As for the dictionary?  It lists only Xi'an as the capital of a provence in China. (Isn't that where they have the buried warriors?)  Enough of this however, I'm not up to arguing how many angels can dance on the head of a pin today.  Peace.

Sunshine



Note I said look it up in the Oxford English Dictionary.  You do know there are different dictionaries.  As for "most Christians" I'll have to ask for a cite, since you've already said you aren't a Christian so I'd like to know where you get your information.  Only fair since I've given my citation.

Nice style.... you attack and then run away saying "peace." 


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www.lovingdominant.org

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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Safe, Sane and Consensual - 7/19/2006 1:40:38 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunshine119
Most Christians today take Xian or Xmas as an insult.  As for the dictionary?  It lists only Xi'an as the capital of a provence in China. (Isn't that where they have the buried warriors?)  Enough of this however, I'm not up to arguing how many angels can dance on the head of a pin today.  Peace.

Sunshine



Nice post, Sunshine, very nice.  I also looked up Xian, online.  I checked 7 different websites.  6 of the 7 were online dictionaries which only showed Xi'an, the Chinese provence.  The 7th turned out to be an Atheist site which had condescending things to say, using Xians as their subject...


Did you check the OED?  Online sources are limited ... but easy

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RE: Safe, Sane and Consensual - 7/19/2006 3:57:06 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Shivvy, funny! Did your father get close to getting them converted?

Those J W's don't believe in Christmas, Halloween, Birthday parties, or a lot of other fun stuff!
No wonder they have to go out and "recruit" members!
Who the hell would want to join an outfit like that!

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Safe, Sane and Consensual - 7/19/2006 7:39:12 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

Did you check the OED?  Online sources are limited ... but easy


I checked my OED and was disappointed not to find your spelling of Christian there. I'm confident that it meets their criteria for inclusion. Maybe you should have someone in your charge collect the requisite evidence and get it in the mail to Oxford, John. Volunteer lexicographers have played a huge role in the OED's history from the start.

I'm wondering if the people who take offense to Xian or similar spellings also take offense to "X-mas." I have known a few goofballs who do.

I know a lot of really cool and formidable Christians. I can't even picture any of them getting upset at this. The cross is a symbol of Christ. To substitute a cross--the X--for the word Christ in Christmas or Christian doesn't offend me at all. Although for some reason the idea of substituting in that other cross letter, the T, just doesn't seem to work. Odd, huh? But it is probably the fact which John mentioned--that the Xian spelling is familiar from over a millenium of use--that explains why the X spelling is so readable and the potential T spelling just weird.

I suppose "Xian" could be intended as offensive, and may have been so on some of the web sites referred to above. But why give over sovereignty of your emotional responses to someone so small and narrow that they would want to insult your religion?

Conversely, the "Xian" spelling could be taken as reverential. Think of the Jewish practice of writing G_d for God. It is meant reverentially and I think very generally taken that way. So here's an idea for those bugged by the spelling John used: when you think someone is trying to dis your religion with the "Xian" spelling just say a prayer of thanks that the name of the Second Person has been spared in this case from being used in vain.

While I see this spelling as legitimate, I tend agree though with the other poster who equated this usage with lazy txtspeak. I find language beautiful. The rush to find ever more ways to attenuate it strikes me as just a little sad, even if in this case it operates by way of an old bit of laziness.

"Fet" and "nilla" are two more such examples. It is easy to suspect that anyone in too much of a hurry to type "fetish" or "vanilla" is typing faster than they are thinking anyway.

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Safe, Sane and Consensual - 7/19/2006 8:05:23 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunshine119
Most Christians today take Xian or Xmas as an insult.  As for the dictionary?  It lists only Xi'an as the capital of a provence in China. (Isn't that where they have the buried warriors?)  Enough of this however, I'm not up to arguing how many angels can dance on the head of a pin today.  Peace.

Sunshine



Nice post, Sunshine, very nice.  I also looked up Xian, online.  I checked 7 different websites.  6 of the 7 were online dictionaries which only showed Xi'an, the Chinese provence.  The 7th turned out to be an Atheist site which had condescending things to say, using Xians as their subject...


Did you check the OED?  Online sources are limited ... but easy


No I didn't, and yes I was going for easy as I was ill in bed.  OED also has a site, however, but it is a paid site and it wasn't worth the subscription for this purpose. 

I wonder though, if in all our discussions over how to define things in this forum, shall we use OED to resolve the countless quarrels?  That sure would solve a lot of debates for once and for all, don't you think?

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 60
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