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Why is it so hard to find a dominatrix? - 12/1/2015 4:36:40 PM   
RubberdollsubTG


Posts: 1
Joined: 11/29/2015
Status: offline 		I'm a bit curious as to why this is so hard. I'm on a few websites both CP and another popular fetish website. I met my mentor on there but he's currently taking a break from BDSM. I want to find a female dominatrix. What steps can I take?
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RE: Why is it so hard to find a dominatrix? - 12/1/2015 4:40:40 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		You're talking about an area with second smallest number of women who are grossly outnumbered by the number of men seeking them. I'll also add that many men that list themselves at "submissive" aren't. They're "Do Me Bottoms" who treat dominant women like a fetish delivery system, so the turn over is high.

The best way would be to attend local events. One step better, volunteer to be staff at the event and serve with grace...you may catch the attention of someone who can see first hand how you behave.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to RubberdollsubTG)
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RE: Why is it so hard to find a dominatrix? - 12/1/2015 4:59:16 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RubberdollsubTG

I'm a bit curious as to why this is so hard ("difficult"....kinda like further/farther). I'm on a few websites both CP and another popular fetish website. I met my mentor on there but he's currently taking a break from BDSM. I want to find a female dominatrix. What steps can I take?


Well....isn't that curious.

(in reply to RubberdollsubTG)
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RE: Why is it so hard to find a dominatrix? - 12/2/2015 3:25:51 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I'd also revise your profile. Right now, it says that you want a woman to force feminize you. Coupled with you calling yourself MtF and that your employment is only PT, that gives the impression that you may expect her to pay for your transition, including the hormones and SRS.

It also states what you want but not what you bring to the table.

Good luck.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
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RE: Why is it so hard to find a dominatrix? - 12/2/2015 8:43:14 AM   
EdgeQueen


Posts: 14
Joined: 11/4/2015
Status: offline 		Finding a Dominatrix is easy, you just have to cough up some cash. Finding a dominant lady however, that's a whole 'nother kettle of fish. If I were you I'd stick to the Dominatrix, because serving a dominant woman is about HER and you seem to be all about YOU.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
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RE: Why is it so hard to find a dominatrix? - 12/9/2015 1:20:11 PM   
WickedsDesire


Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
Status: offline 		Reality is rare on any site. I have cited numbers many times fetlife bans me everywhere and i stand by them but when I do that if you ever wondered – and surprisingly again I have given my permission for them to rebut me publicly – none have ever did so, ever…hmm

This eve I looked at 4 forums posters profiles so I could copy paste their names and oogle someone’s eyes - four of these beings are real :)
Before I forget legs thank this one for sharing
On my main page 2 profiles have appeared and I viewed them and both are 100% fake with stolen pictures
I also cited, conservatively, that 0.1% and 0.01% of these sites have a reality or ever attend a munch or club and there are many more variables to factor in

i could browse all of Scotland and cite those that are real and those that are fake...cant be bothered i have done so to often in the past and it returns <20% genuine and thats a burgening estimate.

The problem does not lie with my kind, never has or will.

But exactly how may people have you mailed who are real?

(in reply to EdgeQueen)
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RE: Why is it so hard to find a dominatrix? - 12/10/2015 2:47:46 PM   
Cuckingcurious


Posts: 170
Joined: 12/3/2015
Status: offline 		I think the numbers are far worse in my area. In a 500 mile area I only came up with 50 or so results that were online within the last month. Out of those almost all were findommes or pros. So I was left with a handful that either didn't match what I was looking for close enough or I wasn't physically attracted to. I'm not looking for supermodels but if you're 5'1' and weigh more than me there is a problem. So out of all those profiles there were only 5 realistic possibilities. 2 of which called me fake right off the bat and all I did was say hi, I liked your profile etc. Nothing dirty or disrespectful. The other just stopped talking one day still not sure why. And then the last two never responded or read my mail. A couple from Canada contacted me and they seem legit but its Canada I'm in Texas so I'm not sure how that's gonna work but I do like talking to her we seem to share alot of interests besides all the kink. What I've notice when you do make contact with someone real they usually are very jaded, and very picky. Chances that you'll find a domme thats on the same level of kink are slim to none. You're gonna have to be flexible on some things but then you risk being called fake because your interests don't match the conversation... It's a vicious cycle and sometimes I believe that every one on here is just a hairy Russian that's bored and decided to screw with my head today.

(in reply to WickedsDesire)
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RE: Why is it so hard to find a dominatrix? - 12/10/2015 9:05:08 PM   
Cuckingcurious


Posts: 170
Joined: 12/3/2015
Status: offline 		Update... Canada got mad because I left her out of another post which I wrote after she told me that I'm not really what she's looking for because Im not that interested in topping a guy I'm only willing to bottom. Mind you I never said I wouldn't if that's what she wanted me to do. Damned if I do damned if I don't. A real shame because I did enjoy talking to her regardless of the outcome.

(in reply to Cuckingcurious)
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RE: Why is it so hard to find a dominatrix? - 12/11/2015 1:58:37 PM   
WickedsDesire


Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
Status: offline 		there a so few genuine people anywhere

(in reply to Cuckingcurious)
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RE: Why is it so hard to find a dominatrix? - 12/11/2015 2:46:37 PM   
Cuckingcurious


Posts: 170
Joined: 12/3/2015
Status: offline 		Indeed, they want someone honest and genuine and when they have it right in front of them they nitpick you appart. Very self destructive...

(in reply to WickedsDesire)
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RE: Why is it so hard to find a dominatrix? - 12/11/2015 2:57:33 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cuckingcurious

Indeed, they want someone honest and genuine and when they have it right in front of them they nitpick you appart. Very self destructive...


You mean they don't accept something written on the internet as gospel and come pounding on your door? Indeed, how dare they... Let me think about it for a moment, they might meet people in real life and prefer to go with them, how weird is that?

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to Cuckingcurious)
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RE: Why is it so hard to find a dominatrix? - 12/11/2015 3:01:08 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cuckingcurious
Indeed, they want someone honest and genuine and when they have it right in front of them they nitpick you appart. Very self destructive...

I'm starting to wonder if you are listening to anything that I'm telling you. Honest and genuine, while very good qualities, also don't make you automatically compatible. For example, I'm straight. I have no interest in women, anyone wanting to change their gender, or anyone wanting to be feminized. The OP could be a saint but that doesn't make the OP compatible with me.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Cuckingcurious)
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RE: Why is it so hard to find a dominatrix? - 12/11/2015 4:01:09 PM   
Cuckingcurious


Posts: 170
Joined: 12/3/2015
Status: offline 		Wasn't talking about people I just started talking to I'm talking about people attempting to change me after the they know the facts. I am flexible to a degree and who knows maybe one day I'll like knives or whatever but I don't now. Why did she talk to me in the first place? Knowing I don't like knives... Why get angry at me? Calling me fake and what ever? I got one thing to say to that and its fuck it I tried. And round and round we go. I hear what you're saying I don't think you hear me however. I'm not talking about getting shut down on the first email. I'm talking about people I had really good conversations with and all of the sudden its like they try to find a reason to be mad and somehow make it my fault because I'm a fake or whatever else they babble. At that point they lost my interest.

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Why is it so hard to find a dominatrix? - 12/11/2015 4:41:03 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cuckingcurious
Wasn't talking about people I just started talking to I'm talking about people attempting to change me after the they know the facts. I am flexible to a degree and who knows maybe one day I'll like knives or whatever but I don't now. Why did she talk to me in the first place? Knowing I don't like knives... Why get angry at me? Calling me fake and what ever? I got one thing to say to that and its fuck it I tried. And round and round we go. I hear what you're saying I don't think you hear me however. I'm not talking about getting shut down on the first email. I'm talking about people I had really good conversations with and all of the sudden its like they try to find a reason to be mad and somehow make it my fault because I'm a fake or whatever else they babble. At that point they lost my interest.

You get that we're talking about the OP of this thread now, right?

I happen to think it is hard for trans* folks to find partners. There's a lot that comes with transitioning, if that is a person's choice. The stuff that a person goes through, whether they opt for surgery or not, can put a strain on a person that is bound to effect the other partner. Going for the surgery means a lot of stressful testing, medications, and all that goes into changing the outward appearance of gender. There are some huge hurdles related to this, so not everybody is willing to go through that.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Cuckingcurious)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Why is it so hard to find a dominatrix? - 12/11/2015 8:54:25 PM   
Cuckingcurious


Posts: 170
Joined: 12/3/2015
Status: offline 		I'm sorry didn't realize you were talking about the op when you quoted me in your last comment...

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Why is it so hard to find a dominatrix? - 12/16/2015 10:29:08 AM   
Cloudz


Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline 		Applause Applause for an honest and succinct answer. The best I have ever heard.

_____________________________

Enjoy the Journey,
~Cloudz

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."


(in reply to OsideGirl)
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RE: Why is it so hard to find a dominatrix? - 12/21/2015 5:48:22 AM   
SantaClauses


Posts: 5
Joined: 12/21/2015
Status: offline 		Because dude the answer to your question lies in the end of the word, trix! since that is what they do that is why its hard to find them especially if you have been a fool and sent them money.

(in reply to Cloudz)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Why is it so hard to find a dominatrix? - 12/30/2015 10:13:58 AM   
DaveLuke


Posts: 20
Joined: 12/20/2015
Status: offline 		hmm maybe time to add another hard limit I usually say that so long as it does not do or risk perm damage I am fine with it. However using knives would really scare me I know you can usually trust people to not be murderous psychos, and the stories that get out into the media get out exactly because they are the very rare exception not because there the norm.

I am also aware if i let someone tie me up there is nothing stopping them getting a knife and etc.

However id be to freaked out if they pulled knifes out, also accidents can happen. im also against needles cause fear aids.

am i picky as a sub?

(in reply to SantaClauses)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Why is it so hard to find a dominatrix? - 12/30/2015 10:42:06 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		Don't try to run before you can walk, you get to know people first, just like in any other relationship

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to DaveLuke)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Why is it so hard to find a dominatrix? - 12/30/2015 11:10:00 AM   
DaveLuke


Posts: 20
Joined: 12/20/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

Don't try to run before you can walk, you get to know people first, just like in any other relationship



yeah thats where I am getting a little bit confused.

I mean I wouldnt want or expect to be in a sub dom relationship within 30 minutes of speaking to someone. I would like to know i get on with the person and feel that I can trust them obviously.

However everyone is like it takes time and I am wrong to try get numbers right away or skype names etc.

Well I don't get why, I mean where I am from munches are the last sunday of every month. I cannot make every single month without fail there will be reasons I can't sometimes there was last time.

the impression i get is I have to get to know someone over several munches etc before i get there number? thats like 8 months and I am pretty sure they wont be awaiting around for me in that time.

further even they were for some strange reason It might turn out we dont get on etc.

I mean I am not expecting to be tied up and kinky fun the same week etc, but was hoping maybe I get a number start a few dates see where it leads and maybe in a month or so time I am in a FLR if i do connect with her.

is that the wrong approach?

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 20
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