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RE: Why is it so hard to find a dominatrix? - 1/2/2016 6:10:10 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaveLuke

im happy to be in service to a girl but I just don't make much money at the moment. is that a major obstacle?


I do not understand why so many complain that they can't find a Domme to serve. Gary and I met a guy who came to his first munch in July. He's not young, in fact he's in his mid 50s. He's not great looking. He doesn't have a great paying job. He's not wealthy. However, when someone needs something carried to the car he is the first to volunteer. When a rope top needed a bottom he gladly got tied up. He made himself so useful that everyone likes him. He might not be collared but he doesn't lack Dommes who want to play with him. He gets invited to special events now. He has become a friend to many in the group. He's just a nice person. He impressed us so much with his honesty and helpfulness that in October we asked him to be our house sitter for the winter. So he went from living 1 1/2 hours from our town to living in our town, finding a job, becoming a house sitter, and participating fully in the local kink community. Seems to me that his life changed a lot just by attending munch.

I won't guarantee that all this could happen to anyone who goes to munch. But hey, it's possible.

_____________________________

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Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to DaveLuke)
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RE: Why is it so hard to find a dominatrix? - 1/2/2016 9:26:04 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
Yup, one of the best female lead relationships that I know started because he would volunteer to be staff at events and he served with grace and impressed many people.

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Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to peppermint)
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RE: Why is it so hard to find a dominatrix? - 1/2/2016 11:52:29 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaveLuke
im happy to be in service to a girl but I just don't make much money at the moment. is that a major obstacle?

In fairness, I'd have to say it depends on who you are dealing with. Take the kink out of it for a sec. Do you know some vanilla gals who only date the guys with cash? Of course you do! But it's not all of the women, right? Some of us honestly don't care.

Mind if I touch on something else you said? While some women do, others don't exchange phone numbers these days. More often than not, people exchange Fet names. It's a way to ease into a bit of conversation after the munch to talk via email. Once that goes well, then a phone number will happen. Give her the chance to take the lead on that. We D-types like to set our own pace.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DaveLuke)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Why is it so hard to find a dominatrix? - 1/8/2016 7:40:07 AM   
SlavePusskins


Posts: 50
Joined: 12/13/2015
Status: offline
Walk into any phone booth downtown and you will see lots of pro doms with advertisements wanting to charge you $300 bucks plus for some amateur dramatics.

(in reply to DaveLuke)
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RE: Why is it so hard to find a dominatrix? - 1/10/2016 2:52:57 PM   
zoezane


Posts: 2
Joined: 1/4/2016
From: San Jose, California
Status: offline
Because..... online is not real and many profiles are virtual fantasies of themselves. Recently, I was briefed by stripper daughter about the massive, fake people out there on the Net. The Internet is One Big Not Me right now .....so I can get want I want since my world sucks. And many of us have heart walls. A heart wall is created to protect us from being hurt again. They are made out of things that make us feel safe. I did not rise to Goddess Creatrix by chance. I hired a practitioner to help me heal my life. Do a Google search for emotion and body code by Dr. Bradley Nelson. Also psych-K changes the negative programs running your life in your brain.

I was one of the lucky few who broke away from the LDS Church and it's male dominance. Yesterday, I redid the new word statements letting go of old LDS Mormon Church brainwashing. If you think the Matrix is fake it is not. Many of us are asleep and our stars have been dimmed. My star is shining brighter and brighter each day. Since birth the blanket of the patriarch has covered my soul. Not know... and here I AM! Mature Porn Star Zoe Zane aka Fetish Diva Diamond San Jose, California USA

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Waves of Love, Zoe Zane aka Fetish Diva Diamond
www.starddomtheatre.com my female domination website

(in reply to DaveLuke)
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RE: Why is it so hard to find a dominatrix? - 1/10/2016 3:31:00 PM   
Dvr22999874


Posts: 2849
Joined: 9/11/2008
Status: offline
My slave has a book in her bookstore called, "On the net, you can be who you like" ..............................I think that sums things on the internet very succinctly.

(in reply to zoezane)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Why is it so hard to find a dominatrix? - 1/10/2016 8:12:18 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SlavePusskins

Walk into any phone booth downtown and you will see lots of pro doms with advertisements wanting to charge you $300 bucks plus for some amateur dramatics.

Are there still working phone booths these days? I haven't seen one in over a decade.

(in reply to SlavePusskins)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Why is it so hard to find a dominatrix? - 1/11/2016 6:15:44 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance


quote:

ORIGINAL: SlavePusskins

Walk into any phone booth downtown and you will see lots of pro doms with advertisements wanting to charge you $300 bucks plus for some amateur dramatics.

Are there still working phone booths these days? I haven't seen one in over a decade.



I'm sure a lot of things exist in the magic sock universe that we mere mortals haven't ever seen...

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There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

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(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
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RE: Why is it so hard to find a dominatrix? - 1/11/2016 10:12:07 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance
Are there still working phone booths these days? I haven't seen one in over a decade.

I had to go double check on wiki for the United States. I remembered reading an article some time ago about some phone companies getting out of the phone booth leg of the business due to them losing money on them. That was about the calls, the maintenance of the equipment, and related man hours. Most of the lost revenue was directly related to people just don't use them anymore due to darn near everyone having a cell phone and/or other electronic devices that access the internet. How few pay phones left is just a very small fraction of what there used to be.





_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Why is it so hard to find a dominatrix? - 1/12/2016 1:54:12 PM   
longwayhome


Posts: 1035
Joined: 1/9/2008
Status: offline
I'm looking at a phone booth right now.

Well I was a couple of minutes ago. Well we call them phone boxes in the UK for some reason. Anyhow I think it still counts.

Not many around any more so certainly not an inconspicuous way to seek kinky fun!

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Why is it so hard to find a dominatrix? - 1/21/2016 12:58:57 PM   
DaveLuke


Posts: 20
Joined: 12/20/2015
Status: offline
Okay this is going to sound so arrogant but I am genuinely asking as a question. So I have often said there is nothing special about me to make me stand out to a dominant female.

Further been autistic might put some of them or nearly all of them off. Many people assume I am stupid due to been autistic. So to answer the question once and for all I had my IQ officially tested. I am not talking about an online test as these always tell you, that your a genius no matter what and try to sell you a report on how special you are.

I am talking about a professionally administrated test. I scored 144.

This puts me at Borderline Genius level although I do stress Borderline.

is it a good or bad idea to tell potential dominant females this? as they might be assuming I am stupid and put of me when I am clearly not. plus it is something exceptional about me.


(in reply to longwayhome)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Why is it so hard to find a dominatrix? - 2/10/2016 4:10:40 PM   
AtUrCervix


Posts: 2111
Joined: 1/15/2016
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RubberdollsubTG

I'm a bit curious as to why this is so hard. I'm on a few websites both CP and another popular fetish website. I met my mentor on there but he's currently taking a break from BDSM. I want to find a female dominatrix. What steps can I take?


If it was me (and....I would never presume).....

I'd go with....

Cash.

(It's always effective).

Green IS my favorite color so....I'm a bit jaded.


(in reply to RubberdollsubTG)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Why is it so hard to find a dominatrix? - 2/23/2016 10:28:18 AM   
IntenseDad4young


Posts: 1
Joined: 9/28/2014
Status: offline
"Volunteer to be staff at the event" is great advice (he said at the risk of sounding like he was kissing ass). Even if he doesn't take that advice, I will!!

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Why is it so hard to find a dominatrix? - 2/26/2016 4:58:43 PM   
betataster


Posts: 138
Status: offline
Let me go ahead and give you some input from someone who's found success in just a week on the CS site. I have absolutely no experience in the lifestyle but I have a ton of experience in life and I am, if I do say so myself, very good with people skills. And I might season this with some things that I picked up from observation in the last week so anything that is specific to the lifestyle, take it with a grain of salt.

First off, contacting a potential Domme with a two line or three line "Hey, like your profile. Let's talk a little more" is not going to get you very far, IMO. The first thing you need to do is read their entire profile carefully, some of them have little trick questions in there that you need to answer in your first post but the main reason you read their profile carefully is first, to see if they are a potential match or not. Just because you both have a particular fetish or number of fetishes checked does not make necessarily you a good match. Once you determine that you might have a match, read the profile again and read the journal entries (I usually read at least two pages of them) and try to make some personal connection with them as a human being. Once you've made that connection, communicate something related to that connection. This is normal Basics of Human Communication 101 stuff. And I think, on this site, you don't need less of that, you need more of it, particularly when dealing with dominant females. Avoid physical flattery, that's the last thing they probably want to hear from you in an introduction unless you can phrase it in some novel and charming way, good luck with that. There's no need to get into much flatter at all though if there is something in their profile that you can appreciate, then appreciate it. And I don't mean their ass. Better if you simply express appreciation for something that you both appreciate in common. You're trying to establish commonality here. Yes, mention that you think that you're a possible match and invite the Domme to continue the conversation. End off politely. Then wait. Wait some more if necessary. If you don't hear back from her and she's read your message then assume she's not interested. Let it go. If she hasn't read the message but has been online, wait a couple days then send one and only one more attempt. I found that taking that approach led to a very nice percentage of invitations to continue the correspondence and from there some nice things developed.

Okay I seem to have used up a whole bunch of words here already and I don't want to run out of pixels or internet or anything so I'm going to leave this as "How to Introduce Yourself" and stop at this point.

_____________________________

There is no best way, best political stance, best religion, best lifestyle. There is only how we treat one another. - betataster 2016

Nonsense, there's no such thing as a curse. - Famous last words #262

(in reply to IntenseDad4young)
Profile   Post #: 54
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