DaveLuke
Posts: 20
Joined: 12/20/2015
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ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
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ORIGINAL: DaveLuke
the impression i get is I have to get to know someone over several munches etc before i get there number? thats like 8 months and I am pretty sure they wont be awaiting around for me in that time.
1. How much are you talking to them AT the much?
2. Are you actually REALLY feeling a connection?
3. Why aren't they feeling the same connection (as in, I WANT this guy to have my number)?
4. Are you getting their FetLife name, and reaching out that way? This is a way to continue the conversation without phone.
If NONE of these things are really happening, I'd do an honest self-assessment. You should be making friends, at the very least, becoming play partners, getting invited to other events and being friended on FetLife. Otherwise, you are not clearly communicating the awesomeness that is you. And that is something to work on.
As LC suggested, part of it may be the approach of demanding (not really, but seeming that way) their numbers, rather than giving yours. Or waiting for them to make a move, when it's perfectly within your wheelhouse...
in all honesty I am yet to attend a munch but i did go to the lockin in my area. In all honesty it was not so bad, my fears do not come from any experience in the scene as of yet.
My fears come from my whole life experience so far. in all social circles, from social clubs to university to work to whatever I have always been an outsider and low down on the pecking order.
When I was tiny I was diagnosed with autism, and written off. When I got older they started saying it was very mild and may even have been a mis diagnosis. a lot of people who meet today say I am not autistic or they would have never thought or could never tell.
in all truth most people would think i was perfectly normal unless i specifically mentioned this to them which is usually a bad idea, because a lot of people just make assumptions about me at that point which are based on what they hear in the media. Normally these are wrong.
I mention it because no one seems able to put there finger on it but I just don't make friends easy. I don't have many at all. I do sometimes fear some of the more unpleasant social interactions I have had recurring but you can't live your life in fear and if i take that attitude I should not go out anywhere which is not a great life.
I guess I just fear I will be on the outside of the circle like usual and fail to gel. who knows though.
often in finding a girl I appear to lack confidence, its not because I have low self esteem I probably don't its funny how I get an equal mix of people telling me that I ozze with confidence and have no trouble with that, then also others that say I have low self worth and a lack of confidence.
its just that I fail to see what makes me special like theirs nothing wrong with me, but then whats amazing about me either? I never made a $billion or climbed mount Everest or stopped a terror attack. I did win a basketball game in the final seconds in school in a championship game, stole the ball and scored with split second to go. we went out next round. But barring that or been able to solve super hard soduku puzzles i just cant see what makes me excel.
I guess I could bring a super hard soduku puzzle to a munch and be like look at me do this, but I don't think that would attract a domme.
I guess one thing that is going for me is I can think of things that no one else can, and can be very creative. but i need to know the person have been dating them and have the right things in place to get that opportunity.
for example on one occasion a girl i was dating was really upset it was like 9pm. well me been the submissive that I am and wanting make her happy cheer her up, I got an idea I was not near her so decided I would try get her flowers.
I rang a local taxi firm, and asked them if I could pay by card they said yes. I then asked if I wanted them to pick something up for me and deliver it somewhere else instead of people could they do this they said its different but yes.
I then rang every flower shop i could find in the area from googing. every single one went to answerphone except one the lady said she lived there, which is why she answered the phone, but they were now closed. I said if i could get someone to stop by and pick something up and paid for it over phone would that be viable she said yeah provided its next hour as i go to bed soon etc.
So in the end I got flowers delivered to a girl at 10pm which, I dont know about america or other countries but in the UK is not usually feasible since everywhere closes at 5.30 or 6.
the problem with been creative though is,
1.not all dommes want this they prefer just someone that does what there told.
2. you cant do it often because firstly it will stop been special and secondly it will be far to expensive for me to afford.
3. unless you force it in which case it wont be anything special you just don't get the ideas all the time or often enough.
so really I can only do that sort of stuff once I know the girl well, once only every so often.
so really I can only think of that one thing which makes me stand out and that is only when i get in a relationship with a girl which is the first hurdle i need to get over, and then sure i can do it more then most guys but not all the time anyway.
< Message edited by DaveLuke -- 12/31/2015 9:34:09 AM >
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RE: Why is it so hard to find a dominatrix? - 
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- or a "do-me" anything, then I cannot help you there, dudebro. 
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