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RE: So, maybe I could have been more diplomatic - 1/18/2016 4:29:18 AM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
that is giving signals that you are looking for a casual, gay sex interaction.


I'm sure those were the signals received, but, in my naivety, those weren't the signals I had intended!

I stayed outtta' the quivering shaking indoor tents; but, I had really not meant to be displaying any signals just "being there" on that floor or on the beach.


(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 161
RE: So, maybe I could have been more diplomatic - 1/18/2016 9:04:03 AM   
Wayward5oul


Posts: 3314
Joined: 11/9/2014
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets
When I was in the PE (we're talking a decade or more ago, by the way), the gay men were hounding me, inches away at all times, no matter how quickly I turned left, and right amongst those cubicles to get away from them.

I had only gone up to that floor to see what was there (it was an exploration), but the whole time I was there (probably only a few minutes, in toto), I was trying to get AWAY from them so that I could accomplish my scouting mission. I wasn't able to complete my mission, and I got the heck out of there, to the relative safety of the heterosexual area, where, instantly, nobody paid me a second notice. Whew! Saved at last.

All you were trying to do was scout and get away from them. Please remember this the next time you talk about women asking for attention just because of where they are or the way they are dressed. Believe it or not we actually do go day-to-day just existing and living, without wanting this kind of attention. In parks, business, shopping, and yes, even in bars.

quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets
Likewise, when I first visited California, 30 or so years ago, I stopped at the first "Vista Point" on 280 South below the 380 interchange near the San Francisco Airport and the gay men in cars ogled me like I was a piece of meat at the turnout at the end of the access road (there is no vista, by the way, which is ironic).

Feeling uncomfortable (and realizing the promised vista didn't exist anyway), I drove the rental car away from all the gay men sitting in the culdesac (why they all look for "fresh" meat is still beyond me, for the most part, since there were plenty there that could have gotten it on with each other such that they didn't have to bother with me), and then I stopped at the midway parking spot, to see where the trail went that was at that midway point.


Happens to women all the time. Everywhere.

quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets
I walked down a maintained trail, which curved to the right, and then, about at the apex of that curve, since I'm an expert woodsman, I easily noticed a worn unofficial side path, which I took, being that I was on an exploratory mission ... and, almost immediately, I saw the tell-take cues of crumpled toilet paper and discarded underwear and trash that is so obviously a common trait at most of these areas of bedded down underbrush (they all look the same, after a while).

Instantly realizing the common markings of relatively recent male-on-male sexual activities, I abruptly turned around. YIKES! WTF? There was a retinue of gay men strung out, maybe two of them or maybe three or four (not more, but not less) who had FOLLOWED me down the trail, and off into the side path, one of whom was basically only about fifteen feet behind me, the rest of which were strung out at something like fifty-foot intervals which extended back onto the main path.

I was not comfortable at all. It wasn't like I thought I would have been accosted. It's just that they perceived signals that I definitely didn't provide.


Yet you have many times talked about how we women send signals even when we insist we are not. You should remember this.

quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets
But, my point was that it was highly uncomfortable. It was like. Shit. You can't even walk down a damn trail without some guy thinking he's gonna get fresh meat out of your hide.


Welcome to our world.



(in reply to crumpets)
Profile   Post #: 162
RE: So, maybe I could have been more diplomatic - 1/18/2016 9:32:57 PM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets
Without naming names, someone kindly wrote to me to ask me to strongly consider if "I" was the person who was potentially almost violated, how would "I" feel about it?

In my good head space, I would want to be able to TRUST that the Domme would ensure my safety (and that the HOUSE would ensure my safety too! And that the customers would RESPECT my safety!)

So, I realize now it's a delicate balance, and it's a safety and basic rights issue, that I totally ignored in my incorrect attempt prior to elevate the discussion to "all women" or to "all men".

I'm fine with people knowing that I'm the one who sent you that suggestion, and I'm really glad you found it helpful/enlightening. BTW, generalising doesn't necessarily "elevate" the conversation, but I do think you brought up some good points. I probably would have phrased it more along the lines of,

"LP, ideally you would have been able to stop him with a gesture or a quiet word before he got that close, but once he was about to touch her, the priority was keeping her safe. I'm glad you reported him to the management, even though he left. It might be worthwhile to discuss with them, and with people here, ideas the venue can implement to make it less likely to happen. For example, a mandatory short orientation, rather than just a form to sign with the rules, since a lot of people won't actually bother to read it. Another possibility would be setting up some sort of barrier, like the portable fence stuff they use in movie theaters, with a small sign saying that people who aren't playing need to stay behind it. One of the local events requires that everyone attend with one (or two) buddies, and they are responsible for each others' behaviour. If one of them breaks the rule, both/each of them is kicked out."

quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets

In reality, I was generalizing from A SINGLE EXPERIENCE to "all women" and "all men", which was utter folly on my part.
Even worse, I only realized, after thinking hard about this over the past few hours, that what CONFUSED me most, was that this was, actually, a FLR that I had NEVER REALIZED existed until this very moment, oh so many years later.

I've seen the same thing in another thread that just surfaced, where you were trying to tell women what mens' egos are like. It's precisely the same thing, just because you (or even you and all of your friends) interact in one way with each other, doesn't mean that all men will interact that way with all women, and vice versa.

(in reply to crumpets)
Profile   Post #: 163
RE: So, maybe I could have been more diplomatic - 1/19/2016 12:12:09 AM   
minionno1


Posts: 19
Joined: 1/13/2016
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
The failures of countries like Iraq and Afghanistan was because no hostile tactic of the old days were even being used. Can you imagine doing that in current day? PC Police will all go nuts! These countries are all handled with kids gloves.

I agree that the failure is complicated by what you imply are "kid gloves" being used, plus, as you may note, both Japanese and German people were used to being ruled by strong leaders who had the ENTIRE country on their side - whereas - in Iraq and to some extent in Afghanistan, that dynamic doesn't really exist.

Worse though, there is no common enemy at their gates, for example, Russia, for both the occupier and the occupied to defend against.
The enemy, in the case of these two failed regimes, comes from deeply rooted schisms emanating from within - and - as you know - that is always the most dangerous enemy of all.


Strange this would come up on the forum. Allow me to interject a little more nuance.

Greta75 is definitely right that if we used hostile tactics similar to the Second Boer War or the removal of Native Americans from much of North America there would be far less problems in Iraq and Afghanistan. At least until they were repopulated by surrounding regions because we sure as hell are not sending people to settle that area. WWII tactics wouldn't work because we weren't fighting nations to force a surrender out of. At the same time, we've been using most of the tactics played out in the Middle East since America's first official war (I don't count the American Revolution) back in 1801-5. The US and Europe have always been particularly heavy handed in East Asia.

Japan and Germany did not need Russia to prompt their rebuilding or a strong central figure. You are underestimating the power of cultural identity. It can be argued that Japan had a strong central figure in the emperor, but the movers and shakers of the government were, by and large, removed in both countries. What they did have going for them was a strong united cultural identity. For Germany this stems from Otto Von Bismark's work in the Prussian wars with Austria and France which united the many German kingdoms to form Germany. It was later reinforced by Bismark's strong grasp of nationalism as a unifying conservative force vs France's wild liberal perspective and the eugenics rhetoric that spread through Europe and America. Japan has an EXTREMELY long history and powerful cultural identity. It would take much longer to delve into and involve minding the social dynamics common of East Asian cultures. Additional factors are that both of these countries had particularly homogeneous populations (for reasons) that shared that identity and had living memory of being a powerful nation. Afghanistan and Iraq has none of these benefits.

You can argue that Russia motivated the Allies to promote rebuilding, but that is another tenuous argument mired in the lessons learned from the conclusion of WWI and the real drive to rebuild a nation comes from the people. I've rambled enough that I don't feel like getting into Iraq and Afghanistan at this point. Allow me to be succinct in saying the population has no faith in national governance.

Side note: WWII was never my area of focus. It is pretty boring and overly crowded if you are trying to write something original. Crumpet, please make sure the book you are reading has a worthwhile pedigree. MANY history books are pretty bad, especially when they focus on WWII.

Sorry for the not so light derailment. Let me try to get back on track before returning to being a lurker.

LadyPact, completely agree with how you handled the incident! I've never been in the particular situation that your bottom partner was in, but unless it was part of the scene previously agreed on the touch would not have been appreciated and my trust would have been fundamentally shaken. You were completely in your right to protect her however you deemed necessary from what would have been sexual assault and battery.

(in reply to crumpets)
Profile   Post #: 164
RE: So, maybe I could have been more diplomatic - 1/19/2016 12:49:46 AM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul
All you were trying to do was scout and get away from them.
Please remember this the next time you talk about women asking for attention just because of where they are or the way they are dressed.

It's true that I wasn't "dressed" to please them in any of the situations I listed where I was made uncomfortable by sexual creeps:
  • Fire Island (I was probably in shorts, sandals, and a T shirt)
  • Power Exchange gay floor (I was probably wearing just a towel, but, everyone is wearing just a towel)
  • I280 South first "Vista Point" below San Francisco's I380/I280 interchange (I certainly was in typical business casual clothing)

    Given that I was wearing whatever any other man would have been wearing, I don't think there would have been ANYTHING I could have worn to NOT be 'sexy' to these creeps.

    And that's NOT flattering either.
    They just wanted fresh meat.

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul
    Believe it or not we actually do go day-to-day just existing and living, without wanting this kind of attention.
    In parks, business, shopping, and yes, even in bars.

    I realize it has to be far worse for women than it was for me because hetero men far outnumber gay men, so, you have FAR MORE creeps to deal with than I do, simply because you (plural you, as in "women") appeal to far more men than I'll ever appeal to.

    And, I only really run into these creeps at easily avoided locations where THEY gather, whereas you encounter these creeps nearly everywhere you might go.

    Eeeeeuuugh. Disgusting.

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul
    Happens to women all the time. Everywhere.

    It was creepy to be FOLLOWED by these guys, even after I turned off to the side into a path that was definitely not official.
    Since I hadn't noticed that anyone had followed me until I turned back, I don't know how CLOSELY they had followed me, but, either they KNEW of this side trail (it was not a marked nor established trail) or they were so close behind me that they could SEE me turn off into it.

    Either way, if I was one to be paranoid, it could easily have scared me because one can be murdered easily in chaparral and nobody would know. I wasn't scared (since I'm physically of a hefty size) but I can EASILY see where a person can be scared (and, of course, weapons and force can be involved that can overwhelm anyone).

    What's sad is that this entire area becomes off limits to me, had there actually been something there of interest that I would have wanted to see. I can see, from that experience, that women might want to AVOID entire areas (e.g., the city at night) just to AVOID the creeps.

    It's sad that you have to run your life avoiding creeps instead of enjoying your walks.

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul
    Yet you have many times talked about how we women send signals even when we insist we are not.
    You should remember this.


    I can see, from this experience, that there really was nothing I signaled, other than I was there.
    The funny thing, for me, was that there were at the very least 3 or them, maybe 4, who had followed me.

    I am still confused why they just don't do the math, and couple up themselves.
    They didn't need me!

    Yet, they followed me (and I'm not mistaken, nor am I the paranoid type).
    I can only assume either I gave them some really sexy signals (which, of course, I couldn't have), or, I was simply new fresh meat.

    No matter what, it was creepy, where my solution is to never go back there again.
    So, entire areas are walled off from me, simply because the creeps make me super uncomfortable.

    Now, I can easily avoid rest stops and beaches and clubs, but, I can easily see that for women, the areas that you have to avoid just to not feel uncomfortable are hugely more diverse (basically, almost everywhere).

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul
    Welcome to our world.

    It sucks.

    The creeps make it suck.

    (in reply to Wayward5oul)
    • Profile   Post #: 165
    RE: So, maybe I could have been more diplomatic - 1/19/2016 1:08:52 AM   
    crumpets


    Posts: 1614
    Joined: 11/5/2014
    From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
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    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Andalusite
    generalising doesn't necessarily "elevate" the conversation, but I do think you brought up some good points.
    I probably would have phrased it more along the lines of...

    I agree that "I could have been more diplomatic" (to paraphrase the OP), in so much as I was wrong, and I tried to explain something that, I myself, was confused about, so, it was just as if it was a bad dream that I was trying to explain.
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Andalusite
    "LP, ideally you would have been able to stop him with a gesture or a quiet word before he got that close, but once he was about to touch her, the priority was keeping her safe. I'm glad you reported him to the management, even though he left. It might be worthwhile to discuss with them, and with people here, ideas the venue can implement to make it less likely to happen. For example, a mandatory short orientation, rather than just a form to sign with the rules, since a lot of people won't actually bother to read it. Another possibility would be setting up some sort of barrier, like the portable fence stuff they use in movie theaters, with a small sign saying that people who aren't playing need to stay behind it. One of the local events requires that everyone attend with one (or two) buddies, and they are responsible for each others' behaviour. If one of them breaks the rule, both/each of them is kicked out."

    Well said!
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Andalusite
    I've seen the same thing in another thread that just surfaced, where you were trying to tell women what mens' egos are like. It's precisely the same thing, just because you (or even you and all of your friends) interact in one way with each other, doesn't mean that all men will interact that way with all women, and vice versa.


    There is tremendous danger inherent in generalizing, I will agree.

    I realize many people say you can't ever generalize, but, then science could never be taught in schools, and engineers would have to start guessing at how to build bridges, but, the difference here is that scientists and engineers know what they're generalizing about.

    I think I remember that conversation which was that women felt they can't tell men the truth.
  • I don't know how all men handle their egos.
  • I don't even know how a large proportion of men handle their egos.
  • But, I think people have found that they can tell ME the truth.

    So, I guess I was generalizing MY FEELINGS by extrapolating that to all men.
    (I think specifically the topic was small cocks, or men sucking in the sack, but I don't remember what the actual topic was).

    However, if I sucked in the sack, it wouldn't kill me if someone TOLD me that.
    In fact, if they told me that, I could then try to IMPROVE myself.

    Of course, there are some things I can't or won't improve, e.g., if they told me my cock was too small or that I was too short or that I didn't have the tattooed tough-guy look they wanted.

    But, those things aren't my fault either, or, I'm not gonna change them for "her", so, there would be nothing useful I could do about it anyway (although, I would, of course, be emotionally hurt, but, not emotionally disabled from the revelations).

    So, your point is that there are men who are more sensitive to such things than I, and, that I need to be aware of that when women discuss how they can't always tell a guy the truth.

    I won't speak for the other guys but you can ALWAYS tell me the truth.
    Maybe I'm just different. Dunno. I won't claim to know anymore.


    (in reply to Andalusite)
    • Profile   Post #: 166
    RE: So, maybe I could have been more diplomatic - 1/19/2016 4:53:50 AM   
    NookieNotes


    Posts: 1720
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    quote:

    ORIGINAL: crumpets
    Given that I was wearing whatever any other man would have been wearing, I don't think there would have been ANYTHING I could have worn to NOT be 'sexy' to these creeps.


    And I may be wearing something sexy to me, or to my man. That does not mean I'm wearing something to be 'sexy' to any creeps.

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    (in reply to crumpets)
    Profile   Post #: 167
    RE: So, maybe I could have been more diplomatic - 1/19/2016 7:00:50 PM   
    Andalusite


    Posts: 2492
    Joined: 1/25/2009
    Status: offline     		Yep, wearing something sexy doesn't mean we want random people hitting on us, regardless of our or their gender.

    Crumpets, that's a much wiser approach, IMO. I went directly to http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=4876041 to respond, since it seemed more relevant there.

    < Message edited by Andalusite -- 1/19/2016 7:07:34 PM >

    (in reply to NookieNotes)
    Profile   Post #: 168
    RE: So, maybe I could have been more diplomatic - 1/20/2016 12:59:06 AM   
    crumpets


    Posts: 1614
    Joined: 11/5/2014
    From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
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    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Andalusite
    Yep, wearing something sexy doesn't mean we want random people hitting on us, regardless of our or their gender.


    In all three situations I described prior where I felt uncomfortable, I didn't think for a moment that the unwanted attentions were because of what I was wearing (or not wearing) at that moment.

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Andalusite
    Crumpets, that's a much wiser approach, IMO. I went directly to http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=4876041 to respond, since it seemed more relevant there.

    Thank you for the pointer as I had forgotten about that thread.
    I will respond in kind, over there.

    (in reply to Andalusite)
    Profile   Post #: 169
    RE: So, maybe I could have been more diplomatic - 1/20/2016 4:28:30 AM   
    NookieNotes


    Posts: 1720
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    quote:

    ORIGINAL: crumpets
    In all three situations I described prior where I felt uncomfortable, I didn't think for a moment that the unwanted attentions were because of what I was wearing (or not wearing) at that moment.


    That's the point.

    What I'm wearing doesn't matter, I still get the harassment. It's just "justified" when I'm wearing something a man can point to as "sexy," because I was asking for it.

    See?

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    Profile   Post #: 170
    I do not think Diplomacy was involved? - 1/20/2016 7:06:42 AM   
    richardamerike


    Posts: 11
    Joined: 1/4/2016
    Status: offline     		Informal diplomacy (sometimes called Track II diplomacy) has been used for centuries to communicate between powers. Most diplomats work to recruit figures in other nations who might be able to give informal access to a country's leadership. In some situations, such as between the United States and the People's Republic of China a large amount of diplomacy is done through semi-formal channels using interlocutors such as academic members of thinktanks. This occurs in situations where governments wish to express intentions or to suggest methods of resolving a diplomatic situation, but do not wish to express a formal position.

    Track II diplomacy is a specific kind of informal diplomacy, in which non-officials (academic scholars, retired civil and military officials, public figures, social activists) engage in dialogue, with the aim of conflict resolution, or confidence-building. Sometimes governments may fund such Track II exchanges. Sometimes the exchanges may have no connection at all with governments, or may even act in defiance of governments; such exchanges are called Track III.

    On some occasion a former holder of an official position continues to carry out an informal diplomatic activity after retirement. In some cases, governments welcome such activity, for example as a means of establishing an initial contact with a hostile state of group without being formally committed. In other cases, however, such informal diplomats seek to promote a political agenda different from that of the government currently in power. Such informal diplomacy is practiced by former US Presidents Jimmy Carter and (to a lesser extent) Bill Clinton and by the former Israeli diplomat and minister Yossi Beilin (see Geneva Initiative).

    Small state diplomacy is receiving increasing attention in diplomatic studies and international relations. Small states are particularly affected by developments which are determined beyond their borders such as climate change, water security and shifts in the global economy. Diplomacy is the main vehicle by which small states are able to ensure that their goals are addressed in the global arena. These factors mean that small states have strong incentives to support international cooperation. But with limited resources at their disposal, conducting effective diplomacy poses unique challenges for small states.

    Preventive diplomacy
    Main article: Preventive diplomacy
    Preventive diplomacy is action to prevent disputes from arising between parties, to prevent existing disputes from escalating into conflicts and to limit the spread of the latter when they occur. Since the end of the Cold War the international community through international institutions has been focusing on preventive diplomacy.

    Public diplomacy

    Public diplomacy is exercising influence through communication with the general public in another nation, rather than attempting to influence the nation's government directly. This communication may take the form of propaganda, or more benign forms such as citizen diplomacy, individual interactions between average citizens of two or more nations. Technological advances and the advent of digital diplomacy now allow instant communication with foreign publics, and methods such as Facebook diplomacy and Twitter diplomacy are increasingly used by world leaders and diplomats.[14]

    Soft power

    Soft power, sometimes called hearts and minds diplomacy, as defined by Joseph Nye, is the cultivation of relationships, respect, or even admiration from others in order to gain influence, as opposed to more coercive approaches. Often and incorrectly confused with the practice of official diplomacy, soft power refers to non-state, culturally attractive factors that may predispose people to sympathize with a foreign culture based on affinity for its products, such as the American entertainment industry and music.

    Economic diplomacy

    Economic diplomacy is the use of foreign aid or other types of economic policy as a means to achieve a diplomatic agenda.

    Counterinsurgency diplomacy (Sock Puppet Diplomacy on collarspace)
    Counterinsurgency diplomacy, developed by diplomats deployed to civil-military stabilization efforts in Iraq and Afghanistan, employs diplomats at tactical and operational levels, outside traditional embassy environments and often alongside military or peacekeeping forces. Counterinsurgency diplomacy may provide political environment advice to local commanders, interact with local leaders, and facilitate the governance efforts, functions and reach of a host government

    Gunboat diplomacy
    Main article: Gunboat diplomacy
    Gunboat diplomacy is the use of conspicuous displays of military strength as a means of intimidation in order to influence others.

    It must also be stated that since gunboat diplomacy lies near to the border between peace and war, victory or defeat in an incident may foster a shift into a political and psychological dimensions: a standoff between a weaker and a stronger state may be perceived as a defeat for the stronger one. This was the case in the Pueblo Incident in which the Americans lost face with regard to North Korea.

    NONE SEEM TO APPLY TO YOU SO THEREFORE YOU WERE NOT BEING DIPLOMATIC BUT MAYBE YOU WERE EXPERIENCING A RARE GOOD MOOD?

    < Message edited by richardamerike -- 1/20/2016 7:08:18 AM >

    (in reply to LadyPact)
    Profile   Post #: 171
    RE: So, maybe I could have been more diplomatic - 1/20/2016 7:47:11 AM   
    Awareness


    Posts: 3918
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    quote:

    ORIGINAL: crumpets


    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Awareness
    No, he just exposed his belly and pissed all over himself. Shit like this is why I find male subs pathetic.


    Heh heh ... I already forget who it was, but, was it you who boxed me into that corner?


    No, you pretty much did that yourself.

    Putting forward an idea, then recanting and abasing yourself publicly because some dangerously unbalanced and deluded tart criticises you is pretty much the definition of being a spineless weakling.

    quote:

    Normally I lay the traps for the idiots, but, in your case (if it was you), then kudos to you for laying the trap.

    However, to the tune of your own words, if I was so pathetically easy to trap, then you didn't prove much, by way of your acumen despite your clear attempt at braggadocio.
    I wasn't interested in proving anything. I was commenting on your lack of strength and masculinity.


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    (in reply to crumpets)
    Profile   Post #: 172
    RE: So, maybe I could have been more diplomatic - 1/20/2016 11:11:29 AM   
    crumpets


    Posts: 1614
    Joined: 11/5/2014
    From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
    What I'm wearing doesn't matter, I still get the harassment. It's just "justified" when I'm wearing something a man can point to as "sexy," because I was asking for it.


    Yes. I see. There are times, such as what I experienced and such as what you're saying, where the unwanted creepy attention would be the same even if I was wearing a tent (in all three of my situations, they were following me, and presumably they wanted meat - but only in the Fire Island case did they actually talk to me - the rest they just followed me ... and followed me ... and followed me...). Yeeech. Sheeesh.

    BTW, here's a (sad and unusual) case in the news this morning where dressing inappropriately did get a woman killed yesterday:
    http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/wisconsin-21-year-old-freezes-death-concert-article-1.2501158
    http://www.people.com/article/wisconsin-woman-found-dead-and-frozen-identified
    http://www.jsonline.com/news/milwaukee/oshkosh-woman-idd-as-partyer-who-froze-to-death-in-milwaukee-b99653799z1-365665451.html



    (in reply to NookieNotes)
    Profile   Post #: 173
    RE: So, maybe I could have been more diplomatic - 1/20/2016 8:54:23 PM   
    LadyPact


    Posts: 32566
    Status: offline     		I know this is kind of a Captain Obvious thing, but we are talking about wax play here, folks. State of undress is going to happen. It's not like a tasting thing where we're doing a few drops on the arm. If I'm doing someone's back and they know this in advance, I'll tell them to take the bra off. Even if we don't plan to go below the waist, I can't promise there won't be drips, runs, or whatever else, so it's probably not the best idea to wear the cutest panties that you own. Want to wear them? That's fine. Just understand that they might get ruined.


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    (in reply to crumpets)
    Profile   Post #: 174
    RE: So, maybe I could have been more diplomatic - 1/20/2016 9:32:21 PM   
    Lucylastic


    Posts: 40310
    Status: offline     		To get the best wax experience, you have to be naked,
    a) undies spoils the sensation and
    b) when you use the knife to scrape the wax off at the end, it catches the straps and elastic
    c) you cant feel it running down between your buttt cheeks properly.

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    RE: So, maybe I could have been more diplomatic - 1/20/2016 9:43:32 PM   
    WinsomeDefiance


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    (in reply to Lucylastic)
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    RE: So, maybe I could have been more diplomatic - 1/20/2016 9:49:57 PM   
    Lucylastic


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    RE: So, maybe I could have been more diplomatic - 1/20/2016 11:01:49 PM   
    WinsomeDefiance


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    < Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 1/20/2016 11:09:01 PM >

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    RE: So, maybe I could have been more diplomatic - 1/21/2016 7:46:22 PM   
    Andalusite


    Posts: 2492
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    Status: offline     		LadyPact, I don't go completely naked for public play, but I agree that regardless of what she was wearing or not wearing, he shouldn't have tried to interfere like that.

    NookieNotes, I had some random guy hit at me at 7 in the morning, with my hair unbrushed, no makeup, wearing a cartoon shirt and sweat pants. He saw that my car had a flat tire and decided I was a captive audience, and tried to get me to kiss him. I called 911 and reported his license plate, and the AAA guy drove up a few minutes later, making him take off.

    (in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
    Profile   Post #: 179
    RE: So, maybe I could have been more diplomatic - 1/25/2016 5:38:17 AM   
    petitespot


    Posts: 288
    Joined: 7/3/2006
    From: Surfside Beach, SC
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: LadyPact

    A little background info...

    Yesterday, I went to a daytime play event. It's not huge because it is smack dab in the middle of the week but it's a great chance for people who don't do the normal Mon-Fri, nine to five deal. There's a great range of age and experience levels. It's in the off-hours, so people who are new can have more time to talk to staff and more experienced players. Usually, if I go, I tend to give myself more time between scenes to expect that kind of thing.

    I had a couple of scenes lined up and one of them was going to be wax. The bottom who was playing with me is very new. We've clicked for some reason. She's very bright and has a good head on her shoulders. Just the right mix of bottom and sub. Someday, somebody is going to be very lucky to have her.

    We're about 3/4's of the way in to what I envision this wax play is going to go. Everything is going beautifully. I do a lot of open flame play when it comes to candles, which draws attention. I also like lighting votive candles in a lot of my scenes, which tends to draw more attention.

    Before I know it, this guy (who I had never seen before) takes about three steps forward toward the table, with his hand outstretched, and his fingertips just inches away from her ass. Diplomacy flew out the window.

    "Don't you dare f^cking touch that girl."

    I must have had the look on me that, if he advanced further, he'd draw back a bloody stump. I didn't yell, but he knew I meant it. He turned on his heel and left. It's my understanding that he was out the door like a shot. He may not ever come back. He may come back after he learns scene etiquette.

    Could I have been more diplomatic? Yes. Then again, I got the result necessary.

    Please feel free to take this experience and have a discussion. Bottoms, how would you have liked your top to handle the scenario? Tops, what would you have done?




    Obviously I'm super late to the advice party and haven't read the responses.
    Seems to me that you handled the situation just fine, if not even a little more diplomatic than I would have liked.
    I would have been pissed if I was touched by some stranger.
    I would have been furious if my top had allowed it to happen.


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