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RE: From vanilla to BDSM/DS. - 2/11/2016 3:53:38 PM   
newatdis


Posts: 117
Joined: 2/7/2016
Status: offline 		"A lot of otherwise vanilla partners are willing to try something and incorporate it to make you happy so long as it's not too painful for them and you're mindful of their needs too"

I can attest to this.

< Message edited by newatdis -- 2/11/2016 3:55:01 PM >

(in reply to ReMakeYou)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: From vanilla to BDSM/DS. - 2/11/2016 4:00:28 PM   
newatdis


Posts: 117
Joined: 2/7/2016
Status: offline 		You really made me laugh. Finally found someone that moves faster than myself.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

heh I met him on the wed night, I moved in the thursday night.
almost 31 years ago.
Its been lively but I did not explore it BDSM more fully until 20 years ago.


(in reply to Lucylastic)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: From vanilla to BDSM/DS. - 2/11/2016 4:06:01 PM   
newatdis


Posts: 117
Joined: 2/7/2016
Status: offline 		Just my opinion, but I am in TOTAL agreement. Besides, I am not sure a submissive would try so hard to get to get under someones skin. Unsuccessfully at that. That is why I laughed and ignored the last couple posts, wasn't giving you what you wanted. Step ahead the entire time.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cinnamongirl67

Greta
Lol.
I've read a lot of your posts, and this is strictly just my opinion but you seem more dominant then submissive.
Maybe I am misunderstanding but it appears you want to call the shots and if a man agrees he is then called a dominant to you then.
It's a mind bender to me and don't quite understand it.


(in reply to Cinnamongirl67)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: From vanilla to BDSM/DS. - 2/11/2016 5:13:05 PM   
newatdis


Posts: 117
Joined: 2/7/2016
Status: offline 		"I've found that if you just be real, honest and let them get to know you in a nilla way first, then introduce the lifestyle a little at a time"

EXCELLENT ADVICE!

(in reply to Draciron)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: From vanilla to BDSM/DS. - 2/11/2016 8:21:06 PM   
newatdis


Posts: 117
Joined: 2/7/2016
Status: offline 		I want to elaborate on this, lets say you are into sad/mas and you are a level 4-5 or above on a 1 to 10 scale *wink* I think it is unfair to withhold this information. Waiting until you feel comfortable enough to drop the bomb. After talking for a month, 3-4 days before meeting; I am also going to be your slave, and you will be my master, I'm bringing masks, nipple clamps and handcuffs. "google it" "I work with animals and have a high tolerance for pain" " don't hit my face and make me bleed" numerous things were said. We discovered a multitude of common interests, likes, desires...just left out that I also want you to fuck me, while you torture me. Although, if a person is a low level M/S D/S I agree with this statement completely.

< Message edited by newatdis -- 2/11/2016 8:44:55 PM >

(in reply to newatdis)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: From vanilla to BDSM/DS. - 2/11/2016 8:45:57 PM   
tastytart


Posts: 4
Joined: 5/11/2004
Status: offline 		short answer: I don't. It's just too boring to face vanilla sex in a relationship.

(in reply to Cell)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: From vanilla to BDSM/DS. - 2/11/2016 8:59:52 PM   
newatdis


Posts: 117
Joined: 2/7/2016
Status: offline 		I guess it's what someone is into. I'd rather fuck a woman into submission as opposed to beating her. Just my preference and seeing how I am curious about the lifestyle, I am not judging.

< Message edited by newatdis -- 2/11/2016 9:06:04 PM >

(in reply to tastytart)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: From vanilla to BDSM/DS. - 2/11/2016 11:56:36 PM   
MistressBrie23


Posts: 8
Joined: 5/10/2014
Status: offline 		I've been in a vanilla relationship for a while now, it works if it's with the right person.

(in reply to newatdis)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: From vanilla to BDSM/DS. - 2/14/2016 3:10:28 AM   
SuaveGentleman


Posts: 64
Joined: 2/14/2016
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cell

Anyone here have any anecdotes about pursuing kink with a vanilla partner they'd like to share? Or any lessons learned regarding turning a vanilla relationship into kinky one?



Oh dear .. where do I begin? Let me say in short it is a painful story that did not end well for me.

Are you asking this out of curiosity or is there a deeper or more immediate reason? Happy to talk to you in person about this.

(in reply to Cell)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: From vanilla to BDSM/DS. - 2/16/2016 8:22:57 PM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: newatdis

Just my opinion, but I am in TOTAL agreement.


It just means, you're my Beta, you aren't Alpha enough to dominate me :). Any doms whining about me not being submissive enough is clearly a Beta.
And don't use the lame excuse that you don't want to answer me by giving me what I want.
That's a cop out. IF that's the case, Freedomdwarf has dominated you by not giving you what you want, which is a reply.


< Message edited by Greta75 -- 2/16/2016 8:25:08 PM >

(in reply to newatdis)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: From vanilla to BDSM/DS. - 2/17/2016 8:29:52 AM   
mechski


Posts: 137
Joined: 2/12/2016
Status: offline 		I am not sure where you are coming from with this? And I don't care enough to scroll back "Any doms whining about me not being submissive enough"

You would submit to me, because that's the way it has always been.

Why are you bringing Freedom up? I would like to just leave him alone, I think there is enough going on there already.




(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: From vanilla to BDSM/DS. - 2/17/2016 10:23:49 AM   
Cinnamongirl67


Posts: 854
Status: offline 		I know what you are talking about Greta, about Betas.

In example, I kept him in a tank, a fish tank. We named him spectrum cause he was really pretty, all different colors.
He didnt move much, unless you tapped on the glass or fed him then he swam in crazy circles over and over. We felt sorry for him and got him a friend! Right next to him we put another beta of a different color in a different tank. He was alot more active then, and happier swimming like nemo everywhere in his tank. Of course they couldnt swim in the same tank because they would kill each other!

The motto of the story is.

People are not fish, unfortunately.

_____________________________

Balanced Chakra
http://youtu.be/Gl9AGlbe3YU

(in reply to mechski)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: From vanilla to BDSM/DS. - 2/17/2016 6:35:09 PM   
Cell


Posts: 409
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SuaveGentleman


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cell

Anyone here have any anecdotes about pursuing kink with a vanilla partner they'd like to share? Or any lessons learned regarding turning a vanilla relationship into kinky one?



Oh dear .. where do I begin? Let me say in short it is a painful story that did not end well for me.

Are you asking this out of curiosity or is there a deeper or more immediate reason? Happy to talk to you in person about this.

I assume by 'in person' you are talking about a CMail? Your profile says you're in India. (Nice profile BTW)
If you'd rather mail me instead of posting it on the forum, no problem.

(in reply to SuaveGentleman)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: From vanilla to BDSM/DS. - 2/17/2016 6:38:03 PM   
Cell


Posts: 409
Status: offline
quote:

People are not fish, unfortunately.



(in reply to Cinnamongirl67)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: From vanilla to BDSM/DS. - 2/18/2016 11:39:34 AM   
Cinnamongirl67


Posts: 854
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cell

quote:

People are not fish, unfortunately.





Psst... Better close that mouth a vanilla piranha might swim in there.

_____________________________

Balanced Chakra
http://youtu.be/Gl9AGlbe3YU

(in reply to Cell)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: From vanilla to BDSM/DS. - 2/18/2016 4:15:09 PM   
dreamlady


Posts: 737
Joined: 9/13/2007
From: Western MD
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cell
Anyone here have any anecdotes about pursuing kink with a vanilla partner they'd like to share? Or any lessons learned regarding turning a vanilla relationship into kinky one?

I still consider a newbie who is in the exploration phase without any RT experience, one who hasn't been "broken in," to be vanilla. But I think you mean a thoroughly vanilla individual, although I don't know many who don't have hidden kinky desires of one sort or another. (Whether they'd be willing to act upon them would depend upon who they partner up with and how safe they feel in letting down their defenses.)

So, from my standpoint, all of my former partners have been vanilla. Heck, I'm still mostly vanilla in terms of the BDSM lifestyle. D/s, however, is different.
I have had a D/s relationship dynamic in virtually every LTR, not in the TPE sense, but by taking charge, by taking ownership of my mate, and in having my authority deferred to.

This has always seemed natural to me (us), but that may be because I am only attracted to men who pride themselves on being a good lover who seeks to please his woman, both inside and outside of the bedroom.

Plus, I don't connect with men who have a bunch of sexual hang-ups or sexual guilt issues (nor with men who swing to the other extreme with acting out sexually), so the kink factor hasn't become a stumbling block. It wasn't always this way in my younger years when my "picker" wasn't as fine tuned.

DreamLady

_____________________________

Love is born with the pleasure of looking at each other, it is fed with the necessity of seeing each other, it is concluded with the impossibility of separation. ~José Marti

(in reply to Cell)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: From vanilla to BDSM/DS. - 2/19/2016 3:07:15 AM   
Cell


Posts: 409
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cinnamongirl67


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cell

quote:

People are not fish, unfortunately.





Psst... Better close that mouth a vanilla piranha might swim in there.

Right where I want them. Nom nom. ^_~


(in reply to Cinnamongirl67)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: From vanilla to BDSM/DS. - 2/19/2016 3:53:53 AM   
Cinnamongirl67


Posts: 854
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cell

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cinnamongirl67


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cell

quote:

People are not fish, unfortunately.





Psst... Better close that mouth a vanilla piranha might swim in there.

Right where I want them. Nom nom. ^_~




lol okay enough of my crazy.
It's totally about communication. Easing into it. For a vanilla who has hang ups about certain things and are actually afraid of their feelings and saying out loud even, it's about patience. It's amazing how people will convince theirselves I hate that!!! When he/she might like it.
I have quite a few hard limits but I must say communicating to my partner, even though I felt WEIRD and even embarrassed helped a ton.

_____________________________

Balanced Chakra
http://youtu.be/Gl9AGlbe3YU

(in reply to Cell)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: From vanilla to BDSM/DS. - 2/19/2016 4:37:23 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline 		I always try to introduce vanilla men by explaining it like. "Tying me up, limits my movement, which will intensify my orgasms", "Applying pain at the precise right moment, in a correct technique will take my orgasmic levels to new heights!"

I mean, but it never works ha! Still I always get, "I just don't want to hurt you! And I don't like a woman tied up in my bed."

I was trying to get my long time FB of 3 years to belt me and I had a really good talk to him about it, we discussed safe words, and then on the actual thing, he chickened out, and just refused to use his belt on me :(! I can't convince vanilla men to do it!

(in reply to Cinnamongirl67)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: From vanilla to BDSM/DS. - 2/19/2016 4:52:01 AM   
Cinnamongirl67


Posts: 854
Status: offline 		I don't believe that Greta. I believe you could sell ice cubes to Eskimos.
Lol.
Now if your telling them beat me to a bruised mess... They will be like I'm getting the hell out of here. Start with playful. Like a tiny slap on the bottom, a few. <<<< like that.

_____________________________

Balanced Chakra
http://youtu.be/Gl9AGlbe3YU

(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 80
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