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RE: Someone please explain to me what women are thinking - 2/3/2016 7:44:50 AM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
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Status: offline 		Yeah, I have that one on block too, pity it isn't transitive to quotes!

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
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RE: Someone please explain to me what women are thinking - 2/3/2016 8:00:42 PM   
crumpets


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quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
And of course, wealth and status isn't the only thing women look for in a man. So even if his socio-economic status is sufficient for him to be 'permitted' to compliment her, it's no guarantee that she'll actually be interested. But even if she isn't actually interested in him for other reasons than lack of status, she won't perceive his compliment as vulgar, insulting, or objectifying.


With your explanations, all the puzzle pieces are fitting into place.

Your explanation even helps to explain questions that were never asked in this thread, such as what happens when you flip the coin, where the women don't necessarily go head over heels for the sexiest-dressed man, for example.

I did receive a great explanation in my inbox, which I'll leave out except to summarize that the sentiment was that men were so easy to control because all they cared about was something that is so easy to have that they were, essentially driven stupid by their hormones.

She said that for men to garner resources is a lot more difficult than it is for a woman to garner looks, yet it was far easier for a women to garner a certain man than it was for a man to garner a certain woman because men were so gullible when it comes to thinking with the wrong head.

On the flip side, until men understand women, they make no sense (logically).



(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 122
RE: Someone please explain to me what women are thinking - 2/3/2016 8:14:20 PM   
crumpets


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quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
So, I'm dressing like a strumpet (to exaggerate to make a point) for ONE man.
The others don't then ALL have the right to comment lewdly and touch.


This sentiment, by now well described by UllrsIshtar and reflected above, greatly explains the previously confusing observation that (some) women would dress like tarts, and yet, they're still offended when the unwashed masses show interest.

Now it all makes sense.

The jigsaw pieces are fitting into place quite nicely to help rationalize the thinking being the observations, which previously seemed so haphazard.


PS ... I had to look up what a "strumpet" was (I guess I missed that long ago when I had to study Shakespeare).So, thanks for the new word!


(in reply to NookieNotes)
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RE: Someone please explain to me what women are thinking - 2/3/2016 8:26:40 PM   
crumpets


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
My baby clock is switched off, so nothing to do with it.


Your baby clock turned on the moment you reached puberty, and biology ruled you as much as it rules men.
We all would love to elevate ourselves above "thinking monkeys"; but in the final analysis, we are merely that (you and me included).

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
Like most of the women here said, I like to dress up for A guy, doesn't mean I am dressing up for any guy to leer and grope.


Yet another affirmation of the observation, which previously didn't make logical sense.

With the now well fleshed out rationale, the observation remains the same (the women who dresses up becomes indignant when certain people notice), yet the rationale finally starts to make sense.

PS: While the strategy is sound, the tactics are bound to leave women forever frustrated, because they have absolutely no control over the rabble that they, themselves, have stirred up. Yet, their incessant seemingly untoward complaints now make absolutely perfect sense. Women will NEVER solve their problem (because of their tactics, they're doomed); but at least the soundness of their strategy makes logical sense out of the seemingly incongruous tactics.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
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RE: Someone please explain to me what women are thinking - 2/3/2016 8:38:02 PM   
crumpets


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cinnamongirl67
I find this an interesting read, and definitely some excellent insight.
It strikes home the majority of the time but there really are women who are not ladder climbers. I do believe most women do enjoy the comfort of a good provider though.


What I found useful with the "ladder climbers" description is that it helped explain that the women dressed for a target audience (whether or not they were ladder climbers - the ladder climber part only explains who the target is - but the fact there is a target is the important point).

That explains the age-old question outlined in this blog post below:
  • Why do women dress sexy so people will look at and desire them but get mad when people look at and desire them? And then they call men who look at them “creeps” or “perverts” for looking at the skin and other body parts they are showing?

    (in reply to Cinnamongirl67)
    • Profile   Post #: 125
    RE: Someone please explain to me what women are thinking - 2/3/2016 8:47:49 PM   
    crumpets


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    quote:

    ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
    Generalizations are obviously only useful when evaluating the behavior of groups.


    Exactly.
    If you can't generalize about something, then you know absolutely nothing about it.
    Yet, you can never rigidly apply the generalization to all the individuals.

    Such as this one below for what men and women think ...


    (in reply to UllrsIshtar)
    Profile   Post #: 126
    RE: Someone please explain to me what women are thinking - 2/3/2016 8:52:57 PM   
    KinkyForFun


    Posts: 10
    Joined: 9/25/2014
    Status: offline     		I will sum up what women are thinking for you. Most women do want attention from men, regardless of how they dress or what they may say. Most of them have different ways of going about trying to get that attention. The thing is though, women are much more specific about WHO they want the attention from than men are. Most women, especially attractive younger ones, are primarily interested in receiving attention from the top 10-15% of men (tall, handsome, well dressed etc). In other words, female interest, or who they want interest from is relative. Not absolute.

    (in reply to crumpets)
    Profile   Post #: 127
    RE: Someone please explain to me what women are thinking - 2/3/2016 8:54:15 PM   
    WinsomeDefiance


    Posts: 6719
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    Status: offline     		4 years of college and 2 years graduate school; 45-50,00/year? That wouldn't cover the student loans!

    (in reply to crumpets)
    Profile   Post #: 128
    RE: Someone please explain to me what women are thinking - 2/3/2016 8:58:12 PM   
    crumpets


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    quote:

    ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
    I'm happy in the knowledge that we both bring home the bacon, so to speak, and in case anything would happen to one of us (sickness, etc) each of us could earn enough to keep us going


    I don't take the "ladder climber" part too literally.
    What I take out of that is that the women dress for a specific target audience, yet, they are forced (most of the time) to be seen (and perhaps commented upon, leered at, creeped out by, etc.) the non-target audience.

    The strategy is sound, but the specific tactics employed dictate that (those) women will always complain about (the wrong) men leering at them.
    The leering/jeering/creeping/etc., is predictably inevitable (due to fact that the tactics used appeal to ALL men - not just to the target audience).

    That women continue to dress for the intended target audience, despite the inevitability of the attention from the wrong target audience, merely confirms that they feel the overall strategy is sound.

    And, I believe it is, as biology always evolves into a working solution.


    (in reply to LadyConstanze)
    Profile   Post #: 129
    RE: Someone please explain to me what women are thinking - 2/3/2016 9:04:58 PM   
    crumpets


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    quote:

    ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance
    4 years of college and 2 years graduate school; 45-50,00/year? That wouldn't cover the student loans!

    I noticed that also, where, here in the Silicon Valley, probably even California, a family of four couldn't live in 75K.
  • San Jose-Sunnyvale-Santa Clara California Household Income

    The Census ACS 1-year survey reports that the median household income for the San Jose-Sunnyvale-Santa Clara California metro area was $96,481 in 2014


    (in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
    • Profile   Post #: 130
    RE: Someone please explain to me what women are thinking - 2/3/2016 9:08:13 PM   
    crumpets


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    quote:

    ORIGINAL: KinkyForFun

    I will sum up what women are thinking for you. Most women do want attention from men, regardless of how they dress or what they may say. Most of them have different ways of going about trying to get that attention. The thing is though, women are much more specific about WHO they want the attention from than men are. Most women, especially attractive younger ones, are primarily interested in receiving attention from the top 10-15% of men (tall, handsome, well dressed etc). In other words, female interest, or who they want interest from is relative. Not absolute.


    I agree, the strategy is sound to dress and act for the target audience.

    The tactics used however, since they are basal characteristics (witness the sophomoric cheerleader poses, for example, which are no different than porn shoots with clothes on) mean that women will FOREVER be complaining about "creepers".

    The key is that the same tactic works on both the target audience and the non-target audience because it is a basal maneuver.

    There's precious little selectivity in the women's tactics (yet, women decry that very same fact).

    That's fine; but women will then just have to get used to the creepers, because the tactics used guarantee their existence.



    < Message edited by crumpets -- 2/3/2016 9:10:51 PM >

    (in reply to KinkyForFun)
    Profile   Post #: 131
    RE: Someone please explain to me what women are thinking - 2/3/2016 9:21:35 PM   
    KinkyForFun


    Posts: 10
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    Status: offline     		In response to this:
    quote:

    mean that women will FOREVER be complaining about "creepers".


    I have learned throughout my life that interpreting what a woman says is not all that different from reading a foreign language.

    An example:
    Japanese: Ichi, Ni, San
    English One, two, three
    French: Une duex, trois
    Spanish: Uno, dos, tres
    Roman Numerals: I,II,III
    Decimal: 1,2,3
    Binary: 1, 10,11

    Here we have a simple idea, counting to 3 in different languages...

    Now let me show you what a woman means when she says certain things:

    "I'm bored"
    Closest english male translation: "Please entertain me in a manner that satisfies me."

    "He is a creeper, or creepy"
    Closest english male translation: "His sexual market value is to low relative to mine to do what ever it is he did."

    Growing up around women, I literally learned to translate what they are saying real time. I speak a variety of languages and it is literally like decoding a foreign language. I could make a massive table of translations... lol







    < Message edited by KinkyForFun -- 2/3/2016 9:22:30 PM >

    (in reply to crumpets)
    Profile   Post #: 132
    RE: Someone please explain to me what women are thinking - 2/3/2016 9:32:43 PM   
    crumpets


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    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Greta75
    Cheerleaders doing their job is not sexual.

    Let's agree to disagree.

    I can prove to you that there isn't a single cheerleader "position" that you can find that I can't find a MILLION pictures of in porn shoots.

    The only difference is that they're naked in the porn shoots.

    The reason for this is the fact that the cheerleaders are using the same basal tactic to garner attention as what the porn shoots are using.

    You don't get to choose the target audience in a football stadium either.

    Anyway, you'll never see it, no matter how graphic the examples I provide so, let's just agree to disagree:
  • You think cheerleaders don't portray anything sexual, and,
  • I think they purposefully assume sexual positions.

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Greta75
    You are saying if I did yoga and bend over and touch my toes, I'm doing something sexual?

    Are you wearing the absolute shortest skirt that you can legally fit on your body, and, at the same time, showing your panties every five seconds and at the same time to an audience of thousands upon thousands, in addition to a TV audience of potentially millions?

    If yes, then yes.
    If no, then no.

    PS: Whether or not they're literally panties makes no difference, since they're designed to look like panties.

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Greta75
    But to a man, it may be sexual.


    Ask yourself the thought question:
    Q: What typical positions do the cheerleaders assume (while wearing admittedly the shortest skirts legally possible on a human)?

    Then, compare *those* positions with any of millions upon millions of porn shoots.
    Do you see any similarities?

    (in reply to Greta75)
    • Profile   Post #: 133
    RE: Someone please explain to me what women are thinking - 2/3/2016 9:51:16 PM   
    crumpets


    Posts: 1614
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    quote:

    ORIGINAL: LadyPact
    Fan kicks actually are one of the things they are graded on.
    Something many professional dancers have in routines.
    The same fan kicks that are a part of a number of Broadway shows.


    Let's agree to disagree on the cheerleader thing, ok?

    You think I'm clueless.
    I think I'm observant.

    More to the point, you think they're just cute dancers and you see nothing inherently sexual in constant persistent ever-present panty flashing and doggy fuck-me poses wiggling their asses about (oh, and did I mention the ever-present constant panty flashing yet?)

    I see the cute dancing, just like you do, but I also see that they're purposefully attracting sexual attention by constantly showing their panties and assuming overtly sexual positions.

    You think I'm making it all up.
    I'm tired of trying to prove it.

    Like the famous Justice Potter Stewart said in exasperation... "I know it when I see it".

    (in reply to LadyPact)
    Profile   Post #: 134
    RE: Someone please explain to me what women are thinking - 2/3/2016 10:10:06 PM   
    crumpets


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    quote:

    ORIGINAL: LadyPact
    I'm actually the chick who KNOWS people in your neighborhood. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

    Since it's an exclusive area of 40-acre zoning (one house per 40 acres, although most of us have less as we're all grandfathered in) I know virtually every person in my neighborhood (within a radius of about 3 or so miles), and they know me, so, if that's actually true that you DO know people in my neighborhood, then it would be interesting indeed to see who is who.

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: LadyPact
    Joking aside, this is not the way you should be viewing women.


    It's not how I'm viewing women.
    It's how I'm OBSERVING their actions and trying to rationalize them with logic.

    The observations are patently correct; what always confused me was the logic.
    Now, with UllrsIshtar's explanation of the STRATEGY, the TACTICS finally make sense.

    However, women must realize that, if they use such basal non-selective tactics as dress, then they will be complaining about "creepers" until the end of time - simply because the tactic alone is non selective.

    Of course, I'm sure that women do the OBVIOUS next steps, one of which is to use ANOTHER TACTIC, which is to try to better select the sum total target audience and remain only within that target audience, and then the tactic won't encounter (as many) creepers.

    (in reply to LadyPact)
    Profile   Post #: 135
    RE: Someone please explain to me what women are thinking - 2/3/2016 10:18:27 PM   
    crumpets


    Posts: 1614
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    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Aylee
    Maybe women are thinking that it is not any of the OP's business what they choose to wear?

    What you wear is none of my business.

    However, if you're gonna shove your panties in everyone's (including my) face, then I just want to understand why you're doing that.

    Why do you feel that's not my business to wonder why you're shoving your panties in everyone's face? (Because that's what we're talking about here.)

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Aylee
    ETA: I mean, I did not take Crumpet into account when I got dressed this morning.


    Bearing in mind the fact that we're all, biologically driven, whether or not you realize it, you DID take into account what monkeys think, when you dressed this morning.

    You just (utterly) don't realize that you (actually) did that.

    (in reply to Aylee)
    Profile   Post #: 136
    RE: Someone please explain to me what women are thinking - 2/3/2016 10:28:21 PM   
    crumpets


    Posts: 1614
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    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Cinnamongirl67
    Crumpets, my son has Aspergers. He is one terrific kid with an amazing mind. I love his uniqueness. I think I might buy that book you put in photo here.


    The Aspergers kids are, in general, fantastic kids - although they're all different and the same at the very same time.

    The differences span the gamut as much as the similarities are striking, and no one summary will suffice - but I found hat book one of the better resources for UNDERSTANDING an Aspergers person.

    BTW, some of the traits of Aspergers people are listed in this thread:
  • What is it like dealing with a kinky Asperger's partner?



    For reference, here are some related articles from that thread:
  • Five Good Reasons to Love an Aspie
  • 5 Tips for Loving Someone with Asperger’s Syndrome
  • Commitment Phobia in Adults on the Autism Spectrum

    < Message edited by crumpets -- 2/3/2016 10:49:21 PM >

    (in reply to Cinnamongirl67)
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    RE: Someone please explain to me what women are thinking - 2/3/2016 10:34:40 PM   
    altoonamaster


    Posts: 184
    Joined: 2/6/2011
    Status: offline     		if any man can tell what woman are thinking he'll make millions

    (in reply to LadyConstanze)
    Profile   Post #: 138
    RE: Someone please explain to me what women are thinking - 2/3/2016 10:45:25 PM   
    crumpets


    Posts: 1614
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    quote:

    ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
    Hey, I still do enjoy dressing up slutty at Halloween, when I go with my other half, despite the fact that I'm obviously not attractive enough to play on sex appeal... It's just I think brain appeal is so much more attractive to guys with a brain, but unfortunately there are few and far in between... Getting the stupid bloke leer at you because you have sex appeal is like taking the junk food over the gourmet meal...


    That's exactly my point about women's choice of using basal tactics to achieve their strategic goal.

    If the STRATEGY is to be attractive to the target audience, but if certain basal TACTICS are used such that they appeal to more than the target audience, then you'll forever be complaining about leering creepers.

    Hypothetically (this is a thought question), if your strategy remained unchanged, but you upped the level of the tactics a notch, say, to discussing the merits of Maxwell's Equations in the vector calculus formalism, you'd still entice (a certain) target audience, while the leering creepers would be wholly uninterested (they being more interested in tensor calculus formalism, one might presume).

    As for dressing on Halloween, I don't see any men complaining about the same basal tactics so often emloyed!

    (in reply to LadyConstanze)
    Profile   Post #: 139
    RE: Someone please explain to me what women are thinking - 2/3/2016 10:56:11 PM   
    crumpets


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    quote:

    ORIGINAL: altoonamaster

    if any man can tell what woman are thinking he'll make millions


    This thread helps to explain this well-known phenomenon:

    (in reply to altoonamaster)
    Profile   Post #: 140
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