catize
Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Kaliko
quote:
ORIGINAL: DocStrange
Edited to add:
This should really be in the health and safety section
It shouldn't though. If you're considering just the sidebars into what kind oil to use (and by the way, what about plain ol' butter?) or what kind of sink we have, then sure, it doesn't fit into General BDSM. But if you're someone who takes part of "BDSM" to mean Dominance and Submission, then yes, even this little, tiny thing about putting oil on popcorn does belong here. Because she doesn't want to comply, and she needs to figure out what she wants to do with that.
FR
Let's take me and the dishes a little bit further. I have never been raised, taught, or lived with someone who stacked the dishes anywhere other than in the sink. The sink, to me, is where dirty dishes go - specifically not the counter. So while I am technically being disobedient when I don't do that (which, by the way, will never happen again now that it's been so publicly discussed LOL) I am never making the decision to be disobedient. It just honestly doesn't even cross my mind. And then, when he calls me on it, I get defensive. And that is what's important here. Not whether I did something right or not, but my reaction to it when he points it out. Which, being defensive and argumentative, was not what it should have been, obviously.
The argument could be made, I suppose, that eventually, behavior could or should be modified to the point of unquestioning obedience.
So coming here and talking about this one thing that means a lot to her, even if it doesn't mean a hill of beans to anyone else, is a good thing. None of us are to judge whether popcorn is anything to get fussed about, because it's not really about the popcorn.
I know I am a little late addressing this, but it has been on my mind for a few days.
I agree wholeheartedly with Kaliko's point that the popcorn is a symptom; but it is not the real issue.
I see it as an 'oops'; a glitch in a new relationship where the OP didn't think through what submission can mean to one's life when the 'rubber hits the road'.
The OP agreed to let her dominant decide nutrition issues--and now is re-thinking it. I am not here to tell her what to do, nor am I going to fault her dominant.
I am one of those submissives who tells a potential dominant that I will submit so far and no farther (further?) But even within those limits, I have struggled over things that I had not considered. Once with a previous dominant, I was lying on the couch reading a book that he had suggested. He walked by, took the book out of my hand and told me to come do something else with him. My first reaction (internally) was I felt indignant that he would interrupt my reading! But I obeyed him ---and later was able to think it through and decided the concept of submission is sometimes a dlifficult path to take---it did me no harm, I had submitted to him as my boss/leader within the parameters we had agreed upon and it was my job to keep my word.
_____________________________
"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise
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RE: My New Dom Is Trying To Change My Eating Habits - 
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